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Dudley Dursley and the Diabolical Do-Over (Harry Potter)

In which Dudley Dursley is given a chance to go back and have his way with the wizarding world. Of course he's going to take it.

CambrianBeckett · 作品衍生
分數不夠
42 Chs

Prologue

A/N: This is a currently active commission that is twenty-one chapters over on HF and QQ at the time of this posting. Feel free to check it out over on those websites, or just read it here as I update it one chapter a day until it's caught up!

-x-X-x-

Dudley Dursley wasn't entirely sure how to feel about his situation, at the moment. On the one hand, he'd woken up tied to a chair, and the last thing he'd remembered was stepping out back behind the pub to take a piss because the line for the bathroom was too long. There'd been a flash of red light, and then he was here, and restrained… and there was a witch sitting in front of him.

Now, in all fairness, Dudley probably shouldn't have jumped to the immediate conclusion that the woman sitting across from him (unbound) was a magical witch. After all, these days, there was a lot of 'alternative' girls out there, so having a strange hair color wasn't exactly the mark of a magical being. But Dudley really wasn't an idiot. He'd just been kind of dim in his early years. So, it wasn't too hard to put everything together. She was a witch, and she'd kidnapped him for some reason.

Of course, when he first wakes up, she's not looking at him. Instead, she's studying a big fat ancient-looking tome in her hands. That was one of the many reasons Dudley had decided she was probably magical, just like his cousin. Still, he shifts and wiggles a bit in his bindings, and that gets her to notice him. Her head shoots up, and the witch looks at him, eyes brightening with excitement.

"Ah! You've finally woken up, Dudley Dursley. I suppose you wouldn't know who I am, would you?"

Should he? Dudley wracks his brain, but as far as he can remember, no, he doesn't know her. So, he just shakes his head at her, prompting a nod in response.

"Right, I'm Delphini Riddle. And I'm here to turn your shit life over on its head."

That… hurts more than Dudley cares to admit, if he's being honest. Even as the big man instinctively bristles, he's forced to admit inwardly that it's true. His life has been pretty shit, and for a while now at that. And worst of all, he could pinpoint exactly where it'd all started going to shit. It was when Lily Evans Potter had been healed by one of Harry's many lovers.

In another version of this universe, Lily died with her husband and Harry was raised alone by the Dursleys, who of course treated him like shit for all his life, until eventually Harry had gone on to save the Wizarding World and defeat Voldemort once and for all and all that rot. In that version of this universe, things actually weren't so bad for Dudley, because in the end, Harry didn't truly have a vengeful bone in his body, so the Dursley Family never suffered for their bigotry and harm.

In this universe, however, Lily survived that Halloween Night along with her son, albeit mentally addled and turned into a broken husk of a woman. In this universe, the Dursleys had still been given Lily and Harry to care for, as stupid as that was, and had of course mistreated Harry and Lily for quite a long time, until once more, the day came when Harry saved Voldemort and soon after became an adult.

In this universe, one of Harry's lovers had gone on to find a cure for Lily and restored her mental faculties once more. Needless to say, this had been a moment of triumph and cheerful celebration for the Boy-Who-Lived and the Forces of Good, but for Dudley Dursley and his parents, it'd been the beginning of the end.

After all, Lily Evans Potter was cut from the same cloth as Petunia, in the end. She could be just as vindictive and petty and vengeful as Dudley's mother had always been. On top of that, in this universe, Harry Potter had more of a reason to hate the Dursleys than anything, especially after the way they'd treated his disabled mother for most of his childhood.

Nothing direct was done to Dudley or his parents. There was no outright punishment, none of them were ever imprisoned. But in other ways, their lives had fallen apart, slowly but surely. One might imagine that they'd brought it on themselves, what with Vernon getting caught embezzling money from the company he and Dudley worked at, resulting in them both being let go, and Dudley in turn not being able to hold a job for longer than a month in the years since… but no, the Dursleys knew better. They knew that when magic was involved, it wasn't possible for it to be their fault that anything had gone wrong in their lives. And magic had been involved with their family for a long, long time… too damn long, that's for sure.

So yeah, life hadn't been easy for Dudley since he became an adult, not by any stretch of the imagination. Didn't mean he liked having some chick with blue hair telling him off about it. Bristling and growling low in his throat, the big man strains against his bounds as he speaks mulishly.

"My life isn't shit…"

In the time it's taken him to respond, Delphini has looked back at her tome, whatever she's working on there. When he speaks, she looks up at him, visibly surprised, and then incredulous as she scoffs and shakes her head.

"From where I'm standing, it very much is. In comparison to your cousin, you've gotten a raw deal, Dudley Dursley. Don't you think so? Your cousin has had it all, getting all of the women, all of the fame, all of the fortune… he's the most powerful man in my world. And what are you in yours?"

Dudley grimaces at that. Obviously, objectively he'd known that Harry had it good. With the way that the young man had started bringing more and more hot girls around in the later years of his schooling, Dudley had a pretty good idea of just what kind of life his cousin was leading. Of course, both Vernon and Petunia said that it was just another sign of magic being freakish and devilish, that Harry couldn't settle down with just one good Christian girl because he was a freak. Vernon especially liked to suggest that if this were a different time period, both Harry and his mother would have already been burned at the stake.

But Dudley… Dudley had always been jealous of his cousin. This was one of the few instances where he fully disagreed with his parents. If he'd had the opportunities to bed multiple women (and even have them seemingly know about each other and NOT CARE) then he would have gladly jumped at the chance, even if they WERE witches.

Regardless, his silence apparently tells Delphini all she needs to know.

"Exactly. Look, I'm not here to insult you, Dudley. You probably don't know who I am, even though I've told you my name. My father was a man named Tom Riddle… but you might recognize him better as Voldemort."

That causes Dudley's eyes to widen, and Delphini's smile grows as she nods.

"Yep, that Voldemort. Big Bad Dark Lord… and he got his ass kicked by first a baby, and then a boy. Honestly, if he wasn't my blood, if he wasn't my father, I'd probably be right there alongside the rest of the wizarding world in ridiculing and laughing at him. But… he was both of those things, and now it falls to me to take up his torch and take revenge."

Dudley grimaces again, as his mind jumps to the worst possible conclusion.

"What're you gonna do to me? Not like my cousin will care much if I die…"

But he can imagine that he was probably the easiest to get to. Maybe some sort of blood magic she can wield will allow her to get to Harry through him. Dudley honestly wouldn't mind helping with something like that, so long as it doesn't kill him… but knowing magic, he expects it might. However, his words cause Delphini to blink, taken aback for a moment before she laughs.

"Oh, Dudley… you're right, you and I both know you're not worth much to Harry Potter. Hurting you won't truly hurt him. No, you know what WILL hurt him? Helping you."

Dudley blinks dumbly at that, staring at Delphini in honest confusion. Smiling wickedly, the witch gives him a wink.

"I've got a plan, Dudley Dursley. Let's be real… Harry and his allies are too strong in the here and now for me to do anything about them. His wife and concubines all hold important positions within the Wizengamot and Ministry, and his mother is the Minister of Magic. Meanwhile, my father's chattel are dead or locked up in prison, and this time they aren't likely to get out. I'm not going to be the next Dark Lady… no matter how much I wish for it. So instead, my vengeance will have to come through you."

Still flabbergasted, Dudley just shakes his head.

"… Me? How could helping me possibly hurt Harry though?"

Delphini shrugs.

"In the here and now? There's nothing to be done. But… I've developed a bit of a spell. Time travel. What would you say to being sent back into the past, hm?"

Dudley just stares at her, but he doesn't actually have to say anything, as it's obvious that Delphini has been waiting to monologue about this for a while.

"It's rather funny, really. Did you know how they actually fixed Lily Potter? Hermione Granger developed a way of interacting with our magical cores, the center of all magic not within our bodies, but within our souls. Using that, manipulating Minister Potter's soul directly, she managed to bring the woman back to her full faculties by fixing the magical malady that my father cast upon her."

Delphini takes a deep breath, and her smile turns particularly vicious.

"In doing so, however, she's opened up a whole new world of magic… and I suppose I'm every bit of a genius as Hermione Granger. I can take your soul and send you back to your younger body, Dudley Dursley. I can send you back… and give you the tools needed to usurp everything from your cousin. You can be the one who everyone loves, who everyone adores. All you have to do is say yes."

For a long moment, Dudley just stares at the witch. It's hard not to just assume she's probably crazy. Even for magic, her claims sound outlandish and wild. And yet… is there really any other answer besides Yes? Not only is he very wary of what she might do to him if he says No, at the same time, Dudley just… doesn't have any reason to keep living this shitty life of his. Even if she's lying, or just plain fucks it up and he dies because of it… then that's fine too, isn't it? In the end, it'll either work or it won't… no skin off his back if he doesn't make it through.

So, after that long moment is up, Dudley nods decisively, and gives Delphini Riddle the answer she wants to hear.

"Yes."

The young witch's entire face brightens up, and she leaps out of her chair, tome in hand.

"Wonderful! Wonderful! No time to waste, Dudley Dursley! They might be here soon!"

Dudley blinks at that. They? But before he can actually ask the question, Delphini's fingers are pressing into his forehead and he's screaming in pain as memories are flash-fried onto his mind.

"This technique will allow you to create a magical contract that transfers the magical core of one blood relative over to another."

It's more than that, Dudley somehow knows. The contract has to be written in a third magical relative blood and needs to be signed in his blood and the blood of the second magical relative before it will properly work. But funnily enough, Dudley also knows he'll be able to get all of those things, back in the past. So, he doesn't bring it up, even as Delphini steps back from him and begins to work.

As she does so, Dudley finds himself glaring at her, just a bit. He's not a man used to pain truth be told, and the more he looks at her, the more he finds himself wanting to pay her back for it. Of course, bound to the chair as he is, he's not going to be able to do that… here, anyways. Some day in the past, at some point, Dudley decides to make it his mission to find Delphini Riddle as she is now and make her his bitch. He was already going to do the same with all of Harry's lovers as it is… and with the power she's given him now, he expects it to be rather easy.

He can hardly wait, but given everything, he'll probably have to wait a long while. She's clearly younger than him by about a decade or two, so he'll just have to keep an eye out for her. For the time being, he's going to have bigger fish to fry… like her father. Perhaps she thinks he's stupid. Perhaps she thinks he's dumb. But Dudley Dursley is no idiot.

He's quite well aware that Delphini is NOT doing this out of the kindness of her heart like she's trying to pretend. She's sending Dudley back in time to usurp his cousin… the Savior of the Wizarding World. In a way, she wants Dudley to remove Harry from play… but in truth, he's going to have to replace him instead. Voldemort will run rampant if left unchecked, and Dudley has no intention of dying to the Dark Lord. Luckily, he was paying attention when no one expected him to, all the way back then.

Even if he doesn't fully know or understand what a horcrux is yet, he'll have time to figure it out, time that even Harry didn't have. Hopefully, this would give Dudley the edge he needs to defeat Delphini's father long before she's even grown enough to become a threat herself. That's right… Dudley Dursley is going to become the Savior of the Wizarding World. He'll take his cousin's place in every way that matters.

Secure in his knowledge, smug in his plans, Dudley watches as Delphini concentrates all of her focus on the spell to send him back, somewhat enjoying the cute scrunched up face she's making. Right as light begins to build, however, the door to the room is throne open, and to Dudley's surprise, Harry James Potter, the Man-Who-Won, stands in the doorway looking thunderous.

"Delphini Riddle! Put down the wand, right now!"

It's not just Harry, either… it's an entire troupe of wizards and witches that Dudley vaguely recognizes. Truth be told, the big man is somewhat touched by his cousin's appearance… but he knows he'd be fooling himself if he thought that Harry truly cared about him. It was obvious that the wizard was here for Delphini.

Just as its equally obvious that Delphini has already cast the spell, Dudley's entire world already going white even as Harry delivers his ultimatum. The last thing that Dudley Dursley hears is Delphini cackling as she turns to face the group.

"You're too late, Potter! You're out of time!"

And then everything goes white, and Dudley knows no more.

-x-X-x-

With a blink, he suddenly exists again… more than that, everything around him has changed. For a long moment, Dudley Dursley just sits there, taking in the view, struggling to assimilate what had happened. Looking down at himself, at his pudgy but much smaller hands… he grins. It had worked, she'd actually done it. He'd been transported back in time, to the past, to his younger body.

It takes him a second to register where he is and what time period this is, exactly. His memories are clashing somewhat oddly, though they settle down after a moment. Once that moment passes, all of Dudley's future memories become something more akin to an archive with a search engine attached to it that he can use and peruse at his leisure. His younger self's memories are a bit more vibrant and vivid and at the forefront of his mind, letting Dudley know exactly when and where he is as his soul finishes merging with itself.

He's twelve years old, going on thirteen, and he has about a year left before the Hogwarts Letter arrives for Harry Potter. Of course, now that Dudley knows the things he knows, and has the ability to do what needs to be done… that letter won't be coming for Harry at all. Smiling, Dudley takes in his more immediate surroundings a bit more.

Gone is the dark, cramped space and the chair he was tied to. Instead, Dudley is outside in the backyard on a lounge chair, watching over one Lily Evans Potter, while his own mother and his cousin are out shopping for his upcoming birthday. Lily, meanwhile, is playing with the flowers in Petunia's garden, on her hands and knees, the addled woman turned away from him.

It's a little strange seeing her like this again, after how strong and independent she'd become after the cure. Not that the Dursley Family had gotten much chance to be around Lily Potter when she's been brought back to her full faculties. She and Harry had cut all ties quite quickly. Even still, watching her now, staring at her as the short and simple sundress she's wearing rides up over her hips, Dudley grunts, finding his crotch beginning to get uncomfortably tight.

The knowledge that Delphini had not just passed onto him, but flash-fired into his brain, comes to the forefront. Knowledge of how to take his cousin's magical core and transplant it into his own soul, using Lily's blood to form the contract… it swims through his thoughts. Dudley can't help but grin, wildly and wickedly.

This right here, this was the beginning of his revenge. He was going to take everything from Harry James Potter… and the best part was, the other man would never even know he'd done it, because that man would never even get a chance to exist in the first place.

Pushing up off of the lounge chair, Dudley begins making his way over to his addled aunt. As he does so, he calls to her, making Lily look up with a dopey, simple smile on her face.

"Auntie! I need something from you. Come along and let's go inside… we're going to play doctor~"

-x-X-x-

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