Genre Switch Is A Real B*tch (Halloween Special Part 7)

After thoroughly looting the now abandoned houses and surrounding area Stanley's compass suddenly lit up and he followed it to the center of the village where he found Rowena. The Wight had somehow set up shop in the middle of the town square out the back of a massive luxury carriage. Where it came from? When she set this up? How she did it without him noticing? All questions he chalked up to 'magical bullshit' and left it at that.

A question he didn't bother keeping to himself however was "why are you looking at me like that?"

And indeed the Wight was giving him a look somewhere between bewilderment, disbelief and amusement.

"You have an incredible propensity for violence Sir Stanley."

"You saw that huh?"

"I did."

That's when Stanley realized that he essentially just murdered over a dozen of her citizens.

'Ah shit'

"Is that going to be a problem?"

"It is fine" she waved off "so long as the corpses are intact they can be revived."

'What?'

There are no corpses, they literally disappear a minute after he kills them. He was tempted to ask but decided not to press any further so as to not break the simulation.

Unaware of his thoughts Rowena continued "but did you have to induce so much property damage?"

At that she gestured to the horse stables that were already burned down.

'Damn, that wood burns like tinder.'

"How else was I supposed to take out the fucking Minotaur?" he scowled with an accusatory glare at the Wight "you never told me anything about a Minotaur with a war hammer."

"That is an addition I wasn't aware of" Rowena's lips pursed "a troubling prospect."

So her information may not be 100% reliable then.

'Whatever I was basically winging it from the jump anyway.'

"You told me to check with you before I went to the church. Well here I am, now what? You said I needed the Chief God's blessing?"

And isn't that a shock. For Ezraphel to involve the Chief God in this he didn't think she had it in her.

At the mention of Mamono-kind's ultimate enemy Rowena's visage twisted in distaste "in a manner of speaking yes. Specifically you will need to steal an artifact within the church that has been gathering holy power for the better part of three decades. Don't ask me how that is possible because I don't know, Moira has not seen fit to tell me."

Stanley merely raised a brow at that but left it be with a shrug "whatever, I need some more ammo and you got anything new?"

At this she hesitated "ah, about that…"

"What?"

"Moira has declared the church and its surrounding land 'hallowed ground' and has enchanted it so that no one may carry any weapons across its threshold."

"You're kidding me."

She winced sympathetically "I'm afraid not."

"So I won't be able to defend myself when I get attacked?"

"The church is abandoned for the most part" she informed "you will only have to contend with Moira."

'I'll only have to contend with the Banshee boss.'

"How am I supposed to fight against someone like that?"

"You don't" she informed "you will have to sneak past her."

"I am absolute shit at stealth."

"It seemed to work well enough for you before you got bored with it."

Stanley clicked his tongue almost forgetting that the Golems were basically shit tier AI when it came to detection which is the only excuse he would give as to why he lasted as long as he did in his poor attempts at stealth play.

"I'm not dumb enough to think that it wasn't anything but a fluke. I need insurance just in case"

The Wight huffed "very well, since you are being such a bore about it I do have a means to skirt around that."

And with that she reached down into the carriage and presented him with "a flashlight?"

Not just a regular flashlight but one of those 'tactical' flashlights that you'd see security or armed forces use.

"Is that what it's called?" Rowena wondered

"Yeah" he said absently as he observed the item "so I'm guessing these runes on it make it so that the light scares the Ghosts away."

"Dissipates them actually" she corrected "it is modified in a way that it will emit holy light. With it you will be able to defend yourself without suffering the consequences of the enchantment."

"Because it's not a weapon right?"

"Not a 'traditional' one anyway."

"Uh-huh" he gave her a look "what's the catch?"

"The catch is that it currently has no power source."

"I'm guessing the artifact in the church is supposed to be the power source."

"Exactly"

At that Stanley sighed "okay, how much is it going to cost?"

To that Rowena surprised him by shaking her head "for this no charge."

'No way'

That seems too good to be true.

"However-"

And it is.

"I would like for you to do me a favor."

"I thought taking care of your traitor problem was a big enough favor."

"And I am providing you with assistance through my services and knowledge in exchange" 

"By having me pay for it."

"Well how do you expect me to pay my agents who are the ones bribing the other servants to retrieve these items?"

Stanley hesitated before grudgingly accepting her point but not before grumbling a parting shot "should've told me that in the first place."

Rolling her eyes Rowena continued "now then here is what I want from you…"

Later…

Stanley paused at the gate that led to Moira's domain, as it were. Beyond it laid a thick fog that obscured the path looking like the entrance to a Soulsborne boss room. That did not bode well for his mental state but with shotgun in hand and grit in his teeth Stanley opened the gate and pushed his way through. By the time he reached the other side his hands were empty however a check on his inventory revealed his weapons to be there but unattainable.

'At least they're still there.'

Stanley trudged on.

Moira's church was located on a segregated piece of land, considering it was erected to worship the enemy deity of all Mamono it wasn't at all popular. Not that the Banshee seemed to care as from what he gathered from Rowena the place was basically built so Moira could wallow in her own despair.

'And speaking of…'

The more he walked the more he could feel the atmosphere starting to get to him. The trees were dead with branches looking like gnarled fingers grasping at him, the air was permeated with a mist making it difficult to see beyond a certain point and the silence was only broken up by the occasional sounds of a crow or raven cawing or flapping their wings. 

'Fucking creepy ass birds.'

The path eventually opened up and the mist cleared enough for him to see beyond a few feet. Unfortunately the sight he beheld was not a welcoming one.

'And there's a fucking graveyard…lovely' he thought as he beheld a veritable maze of unmarked graves.

Suddenly he became aware of a sound and immediately he ducked low for once grateful of his height as it allowed him to hide within the field of tombstones in a crouched position. Or more likely Ezraphel made the graves bigger on purpose because he's not that short anymore and tombstones are not that big. In any case as he crept through the macabre maze he soon realized the sound he was hearing was of a crying woman.

And with that realization the Left 4 Dead Witch Theme started playing in his head. He didn't even bother checking the map as he crept forward since there was literally nothing else in the area. It was a straight shot to the church and incidentally the source of the crying was in the same direction.

Stanley would like to think of himself as a gaming connoisseur. He's played a lot of games, every genre of games at least twice and he always tries to do this to completion if not one hundred percent them. That said if someone were to ask his preference then he would prefer shooters and fantasy RPGs over atmospheric survival horror games that give you no weapons and relies on stealth and puzzles for progression.

Not saying he can't appreciate such games. Amnesia: The Dark Descent was groundbreaking, Alien: Isolation was his 2014 horror game of the year, Outlast made him shit bricks and Soma is an underrated narrative masterpiece. Hell he'll even say that the 'House Beneviento' section of is the best part of Resident Evil Village and it's not even close. 

Unfortunately there is a difference between playing a videogame and doing a live simulation. It's not that Stanley couldn't do a stealth play but it was tedious as fuck in real life and after getting a taste of pure uncut violence back in the village his trigger finger was itching to pop some heads.

Eventually he managed to spot the figure of a woman kneeling by a grave sobbing into her hands. The good news is that her position made it so that he was in her blind spot and with her eyes obscured mean he could move away from the embodiment of hentai gothic fetish without her noticing. He was about to do just that when the sobbing abruptly stopped causing him to instinctively freeze in his tracks.

Carefully he peaked around the corner to see the Banshee give a final sniffle before standing. After brushing off her knees she started moving off, thankfully in a direction away from where he was going. Stanley watched as she left, her form more gliding than walking and not a single sound came from her beyond some sniffling. Deeper into the mist she went until her form was completely absorbed.

Stanley wasted no time in continuing his path though curiosity had him check the grave the Banshee left and found a single coin with a skull on it. The coin is a 'Hel Coin' and the description pegged it as macabre good luck charm that symbolizes a second chance at life after death.

That means…

'Extra life, let's fucking go!'

After this nothing of note happened for the two minutes it took for him to creep towards the church. He only started to calm down when he got inside and closed the door making sure to keep an eye out for the Banshee the entire time. That relief lasted about as long as it took for him to see the church. Now there wasn't anything wrong with it visually. The interior reminded him of a regular church with pews, stained glass, a pulpit and littered with Christian-esque religious iconography.

Contrary to his assumptions everything looked well kept and clean. He would have said it looked nice except for the cloying gloom that seemed to permeate the place. Stanley had been too weary of the Banshee outside to truly appreciate it but he realized even before he entered that the place radiated dread. The light muted as it was outside barely shined through the stained glass. There were lit torches lining the walls and a chandelier above yet the shadows remained.

The whole thing raised Stanley's anxiety through the roof and he couldn't even think of a quip or joke to lighten the mood. Even the voices in his head were strangely quiet. 

"…"

In fact aside from the sound of burning timber and flickering flames of the torches there was an eerie absence of sound in general. Thankfully Stanley could see the artifact he was looking for. It worked in breaking up the gloom of the place but metaphorically and quite literally. As in there was a literal ray of light over where the artifact is being held that did a better job of keeping the darkness at bay than the windows or torches. Stanley did not hesitate, once his eyes lay upon the artifact he made mad dash towards the pulpit where it lay reverently on a pedestal. 

The closer he got the more he felt warmth and the less trepidation bore down on his psyche. So pronounced was the change that Staley found himself feeling reverence for the artifact for clearly it was holy in origin.

Then he actually got a good look at it and…

"You've got to be fucking kidding me."

For lying upon the pedestal were four D-batteries. Now don't get him wrong, they looked very impressive with runic script in place of brand names and a near ethereal light shining off them but still…D-Batteries.

"…whatever."

With absolutely no fanfare whatsoever took out the flashlight and loaded the batteries. As he put in the last one and screwed the cap on Stanley felt a shiver run down his spine.

"My child~" 

The voice he heard was absolutely haunting as it was dreary and carried with it an echo that seemed to reverberate through his auditory nerves. Slowly Stanley turned his head to find Moira the Banshee looming over him. Now that he could get a better look at her he saw that Moira was a deathly pale slender beauty with raven hair cascading down to her small of her back, pointed elf-like ears, black tear track markings on the corners of her eyes and a voluptuous body that is highlighted by her choice of clothing.

She wore a sheer near see through dress with a large slit on either end exposing her pale thicc thighs and made it rather obvious that she wasn't wearing underwear. She had bone-like corset that emphasized her prodigious chest and a bone rosary with a skull face at her neck. She had detached sleeves secured around her biceps that fanned and ended with skull ornaments. Finally she wore a black shawl over her head almost like a hood that seemed to somehow partly shadow her face. Her eyes were a haunting bluish green in the same vein as Rowena's spectral hands and there were already unshed tears at the edges.

In all Moira looked like the weeping Goth Milf of every man's dreams and Stanley was no exception. Just as the thought of Goth Ezraphel entered his mind Moira chose that moment to resume speaking.

"Have you come to pray to our Lord and Savior, the Chief God?"

…and just like that the spell was broken.

"Uh…"

While his brain tried to come up with a response to that cringeworthy question Moira's eyes looked beyond the man to the empty pedestal and Stanley could actually feel the change in the atmosphere from dreary yet ambivalent to tense.

"Thief…"

'Ah shit' he backed up.

That feeling of dread returned tenfold and for a moment Stanley felt so overwhelmed by her presence that his mind went blank with terror.

"What have you done with the artifacts?" she demanded.

The question shook him out of his stupor.

<Use the fucking holy flashlight stupid>

Oh look the voices are back.

As the Banshee reached out to him with her pale hand Stanley pointed the flashlight at her and let it rip.

*SHINE*

"IYAAAGH!"

The response was immediate as the golden light enveloped her form Moira released a bloodcurdling scream before vanishing in a puff of smoke.

Then there was silence.

'That can't be it.'

Then the flashlight started flickering and by the time he looked at the thing it went out. He then became painfully aware of a mental cooldown gauge pictured in his mind's eye.

"Rowena you fucking bitch" he hissed almost helplessly before the torches next to him winked out.

Stanley wasted no more time and started sprinting towards the door. As he did the torches started to go out as he ran past them.

'Come on, come on, come on, come ooon…'

He arrived at the final torch blew out and threw himself out the church doors. He tasted sweet freedom for but a moment until something snagged his legs and he ended up face planting on the cobbled ground. Turning around he saw a spectral skeleton hand gripping his leg before more erupted from the ground pulling him flat. Then Moira stepped out the shadow of the darkened church interior with her hand outstretched looking very displeased even as tears ran from her eyes like a waterfall.

"You will not escape, thief."

In response Stanley shined the flashlight at her face causing Moira to let out a keening wail. Redirecting the light the spectral skeleton hands shuddered before dispersing in ectoplasmic smoke. With his leg free Stanley started to make tracks but as he ran a loud wail of despair sounded causing him to wince and cover his ears. Stanley felt the mana wash over him and in that moment two things happened.

First the mana from the wail carried in a gust of wind that blew through the area at first seeming to disperse the mist however that was not to the case as he felt the mist absorb the mana after which it flowed into the ground. Within a few seconds the entire area was almost completely devoid of the ever present mist letting Stanley finally see the full scope of the environment.

There were graves everywhere.

It hit him just then that he wasn't on church grounds, he was in a fucking cemetery. A cemetery owned by a literal priestess for the Goddess of Death whose mana just soaked into the ground.

{I think we all know where this is going}

And just as anticipated the first skeletal hands punched through the ground before pulling their owners through the soil and tombs. To Stanley's credit even as he observed the signs of the undead literally pulling themselves out of their graves he never stopped running. Unfortunately his straight shot path to the exit got blocked by some undead coming out from under the cobblestone path.

It caused him to stop and ready his flashlight only to switch target when skeleton hands erupted from underneath and grabbed onto his leg.

"You will not escape!"

With a curse he shined the light on the hands holding him and they fell limply. He turned to the Banshee however her frame was hidden behind a group of Skeletons. As he looked around he found himself being surrounded by a small army converging on his position. Seeing his options limited Stanley had no choice but to take a detour through the cemetery in an attempt to circle around the hoard.