I Sing

>Sheloah's POV<

I went to the balcony of the room I am in. I sighed and I looked at the sky. Agad kong naalala ang pinag usapan namin ng nanay ko noong eight years old ako. She really loved music and she really loved to sing. Sa kanya ko nakuha ang kahiligan ko sa music at ang talent ko sa pagkakanta. Marami siyang mga kanta na alam na hindi familiar sa aming lahat.

I remembered the song my mother used to sing when my grandfather, her father, died. It was a song for Jesus, pero she also dedicated that to her father. The song was entitled His Eye is On the Sparrow by Lauryn Hill featuring Tanya Blount. Hanggang ngayon memorize ko parin ang lyrics nito. The song touched me and on my grandfather's burial, I cried a lot.

Now, too…

I took a deep breath and decided to sing. This time, I am going to sing the song that my mother dedicated to her father.

Why should I feel discouraged

Why should the shadows come

Why should my heart feel lonely

And long for heaven and home

Sa lyrics na 'yan, I was forcing myself to stop crying so I could sing properly. My heart started to ache again. Deep inside my heart, I want my mother to feel my emotions as I sing this song for her.

When Jesus is my portion

A constant friend He is

His eye is on the sparrow

And I know He watches over me

His eye is on the sparrow

And I know He watches over me

I closed my eyes and I took a deep breath. As I closed my eyes, a lot of memories with my mom came flashing in my thoughts. Our laughter, our fights, our talks… everything. I have learned a lot from her and I won't ever forget them.

I sing… because I'm happy

I sing… because I'm free

His eye is on the sparrow

And I know he watches over me

Inulit kong kantahin yung chorus. Habang nakapikit ako, nararamdaman ko nanaman ang pagtulo ng luha ko. Sunod-sunod ito at agad akong tumingin sa langit. Tumigil ako sa pagkakanta ko at pinunasan ko ang mga luha ko. The feelings that I am feeling now are making me feel too emotional but deep inside, I don't want to stop. I want to sing… for my mother.

It's what I inherited from my mother.

I took a deep breath and I continued to sing. This time, I changed some of the lyrics because I am thinking of my mom. It made me cry more because I am dedicating this song for her as she did when she dedicated this song for her father.

I sing… because I'm happy

I sing… because I'm free

Her eye is on the sparrow

And I know she watches over me

I finished singing the song and I suddenly fell on my knees. I hugged myself and my uncle rushed to hug me. He was crying, too. He had lost his older sister. He carried me towards the bed and I and my family cried throughout the night.

I remembered what my mom told me about singing before that I only understood now. She told me…

Singing for someone would really make you feel happy and sad at the same time.