XV. Doubts Are Deadly

To read the full version and the latest chapters, visit it on POPINK :)

ARK The Bane Of Spectres

https://popinkapp.com/novel/200001615

You may also like:

ARK Bearer Of Curse

https://popinkapp.com/novel/200001866

***

In the car, going back to the Manor.

Hiding her feelings was never Irina's strength. It must have been obvious that something was bothering her. Agent Rosario who was always formal and courteous since she began her training, seemed to notice her uneasiness.

"It may sound unprofessional but there's something different about you these past days, Ms. Kaspian", the agent said, trying to make her relax.

Never in her dreams did she think that Agent Rosario would engage in a casual conversation. It was fine with Irina anyway, she just didn't expect the man to be conversational, judging from her impression on their first meeting. Also, he sounded honest, completely absent of the hostility he initially showed towards her family.

"I'm not sure if you meant that as a compliment, Agent.", she reciprocated.

"I did. Looks like you've got settled comfortably well in the Central City."

"I think so, too. I have your service and the bureau to thank for it."

"Don't mention it. It's our duty.", he said with a smile.

The agent seemed to be a good person. She felt bad for thinking otherwise, just because of his miniscule aggression at the onset. It was just his personal opinion about her family. And who was always rational when talking about politics?

Irina's thoughts drifted to the sky lit drive. The city lights glamored with an ecstatic effect to her already wandering mind. Out of nowhere, she didn't even notice herself to continue with their conversation.

"Is it difficult?", she asked.

"I'm sorry?", the agent was confused.

"Being away with your family. Not living your life the way you want it. The way it should be.", she added. "I'm sorry you have to deal with guarding me."

Everytime she would decide to do something, a seed of doubt would grow in her gut. Could she live away with her family or put them in danger? It shouldn't be that hard, she's already far away from them. But was that how her life should be? Was that really what she wanted? These thoughts had been bothering her, especially that she barely made a progress with her combat training.

The agent sighed and thought for a moment before responding. It's still a good 10 minute drive, might as well use the time to know each other, since they would be together indefinitely. His years in the service had him get used to this kind of assignment as a security detail, but a conversation would not harm anyone.

"Do you know why I acted like an a**hole when I interrogated you at the hospital?"

"Because my father is one, too?", the car was filled with laughter, drowning the radio music.

"Good thinking, but no."

He looked at her from the rearview mirror. "My sister and I were orphaned early. Deadbeat daddy. Dead mommy. You know, usual soap opera formula. Our distant relatives raised us with physical abuse. Drunk uncle, gambler aunt. I was already 15 at the time so I could handle myself. But knowing that they might turn to my younger sister, I endured the beating."

The agent turned down the volume before he continued, as Irina listened intently. "I set a goal for myself. I worked and studied hard. When I was earning enough, I and my sister separated from our relatives to fend on our own, and as if the tables turned, it was our relatives' turn to ask for our help, and I obliged to return the goodwill. It was hard but we had each other. Graduated top of my class and I was already in the force by the time of my graduation. It had been both the most proud and most regrettable day of my life."

She leaned in closer, feeling that the story had taken a turn for the worse as the agent continued.

"I came back home from the ceremony. The place was mess. I got so nervous seeing blood on the floor. I was relieved for a moment hearing my sister's sobbing, knowing that she was alive. Rushed to her room. The only thing covering her naked body was her blood and bruises. That bastard of an uncle came to our house, drunk and high from drugs. He was looking for me to ask for money, and when he found that only my sister was home, that pig had completely grown horns."

Irina covered her mouth in shock. She understood the horror that he meant. Agent Rosario intended to end the whole story and continued.

"It turned out he had been abusing my sister since the time when we were living with them, but it was only then when he found the opportunity to complete his evil act. My sister was so traumatized, she lost her mind. We stood on trial and won but the pig escaped. I was hand-picked by the squad leader who hunted him for months. Finally, we had him cornered."

The cold wind from the air-conditioner brushed Irina's cheek. It did set the gloomy mood of the agent's story. With her arms wrapped on herself and her finger stroking her hair, she continued to listen.

"The pig just wouldn't surrender alive and exchanged fire with us. You could already guess what happened to him. Justice was served, or so I thought. When I came home, I saw the lifeless body of my sister, hanging from the ceiling fan. She didn't even leave a suicide note. If she were alive, she would've been your age", he said with a bitter smile.

Irina understood what he meant. He was mad at her father's politics that almost got her killed, because he used to be exactly like him. Unknowingly, he had created an enemy that cost him his sister's sanity, and eventually her life. More than pity, it was sincere empathy that she felt for the agent.

As if regaining his senses, the agent shook his head and sighed. "Whew! I didn't know why I had to tell you that. It felt like I was under a spell, like sharing to you was the right decision. I'm sorry, I had just commented that you're starting to feel settled and comfortable, then I burdened you with such tragic story."

"It's all right. I'm a psychology student, after all. I'm supposed to be good with listening.", she said to lighten the agent's mood. They both laughed.

"You did ask how I could live away from my family, or not live my life as I want or as it should be.", he said, finally ready to give a straight answer.

"I've already thrown my life as it should be when I spent my days in vengeance, hunting the criminal who abused my sister, instead of supporting her recovery. She was the only family I got and I lost her. Now, I have to live with this misery I made for myself. I could no longer afford to doubt if it's how things should be, that could be deadly in the line of duty. As for living the life that I want..", he paused and look at her straight in the eyes. There was this feeling of determination that gave her a warmth comfort of security.

"I swore on my little sister's grave that I will never let any harm come to anyone who's under my watch. That's the life I want to live."

She envied the decisiveness of the agent. Whether his life was in regrets or in misery, he made peace to live with it, while there she was, not even sure about how she felt.

Eve's words rang in her mind. "Something that you've had far longer than your locket." She sighed. The fading sunset at the end of the lake was quite a view yet even that couldn't steal her attention from her uncertainty. It looked like she would have to relive some feelings she tried so hard to keep. If she wasn't even sure that would be worth it, how could she ever be sure how she really wanted to live her life?

***

"Four minutes late.", Lucian said instead of greeting them. "That's something new, Agent."

The agent just nodded his head gently as if acknowledging the fault and subtly apologizing at the same time. Irina just remembered that Lucian was a consultant of the bureau. It's possible he held a higher level than Agent Rosario.

"Is there anything he isn't good at?", she thought. The agent bid farewell and the two of them were left at the front door. It was a good ten seconds of frozen time between them.

She noticed that Lucian's stare was fixed on her. Was there something wrong with her? He could be thinking that she just goofed around in Eve's house. She just remembered that her hair was still damp from the bath.

Instead of confronting his already bad mood, she teased him. "You look like you saw an angel. Aren't you gonna let me in? I'm freezing here."

"I want to hear you making that joke again during the training.", he said, not showing any sign of amusement. He gestured for her to come inside.

They went straight to the barn house. She looked at the direction of the target dummy that Lucian made for her. It was already worn down in their two days of training. No doubt that her skills in archery was still top level.

However, that skill would be utterly useless if she couldn't materialize her spirit artifact. Conventional weapons had no effect against Nightmares or even against some other races. Channelling spirit energy to these weapons would prove fatal against those other races, but could only physically damage a Nightmare. These creatures would only regenerate in an instant. To kill a Nightmare, one had to destroy both its flesh and soul.

She already had an advance understanding of the concept of channeling the spirit energy to improve one's physical ability: Strength, speed, senses, dexterity, magic strength, defense, and resistance. Rather than "adding" to the user's ability, spirit channeling "multiplies" the user's innate power, so it's important to enhance the physical body's strength and ability on a separate training.

In theory, Irina should be more than capable of materializing a spirit artifact. It wasn't a question of how, but a question of where she could find an object which held meaning to her, to channel her spirit. In fact, she thought she already knew, so it's a question of should she?

"You sure you don't want to drop by your room and get something?", he asked.

Irina walked towards the corner. If I'm doing "that", I have to do it right, she thought while getting two wooden swords and tossed one at Lucian.

Doubts are deadly, she mouthed between her breaths.

"No. Let's start the training."