Ancient Elf Meets Modern Tech

Things were starting to get a little awkward.

After deftly maneuvering through the maze of alarms and standing before the dizzying array of control panels, Lirael who is blissfully unaware that Natasha had just exposed his non-human identity, fell into a long silence.

It was only then that a very important realization struck him.

He was indeed a fossil.

The kind of fossil who had lived for thousands of years and then slept for thousands more.

He had absolutely no idea what any of these devices were.

"Uh… so…"

A little embarrassed, Lirael opened the comms.

His cheeks flushed red slightly as he tried to make his voice sound more confident and less sheepish.

"Can someone tell me how to turn this thing off?"

"Alright, alright, let the professional handle it!"

Having just effortlessly roasted Clint moments earlier, Tony was still riding high.

He cut into the public channel before Steve could say a word.

"Do you see the operating system on the screen? Just open the source code and rewrite it using Stark Industries' universal override script. Easy peasy."

Oh.

Lirael blinked his eyes completely lost. "What's… source code?"

"...Ahem, it's nothing—don't worry about it." Realizing that this level of technical jargon might be too much for a millennia-old elf, Tony cleared his throat and forced himself to stop before launching into a lecture.

With Natasha shooting him a sharp glare, he raised his hands in mock surrender.

"Fine. Let's go with something simpler—do you see the buttons on the console?"

"Yes," Lirael said with a small nod.

"How many are there, and what do they look like?"

That sounded much simpler than rewriting source code, so Lirael carefully scanned the control console.

After a few moments, he responded, "There are four in total—three on the left, one on the right. They all look… um, round?"

"…"

Round.

Tony felt like he was about to have a meltdown.

"Fine."

After a long pause, Tony finally gave up trying to bridge the Mariana Trench-sized gap of understanding between himself and the elf.

"You should just pull the main power lever—the most obvious one on the wall. It's white, square, and has a wooden handle… Oh my god, why are you acting like more of a relic than Cap? Did you two crawl out of the Ice Age together?"

"I don't think so, Tony." Once again dragged into the conversation, Steve answered on behalf of the poor, confused elf. Then, as if hesitating, he couldn't resist adding, "What's the Ice Age?"

Tony: …

Goodbye, friends.

You've officially lost your CEO dad.

Without another word, Tony dramatically clutched his chest and walked off to contact Coulson, leaving S.H.I.E.L.D. to clean up the aftermath.

He left behind at the doorway were Steve and Lirael who are staring at each other in mutual confusion.

They're entirely unaware of what they had done wrong.

"It's not your fault." Natasha's voice rang out somberly as she patted Lirael on the shoulder. "It's S.H.I.E.L.D.'s fault for giving you such dull social studies classes that you didn't learn anything."

Lirael, who regularly skipped those classes: …I'm sorry. I was wrong.

And so, thanks to the Avengers' efforts, the New York orc invasion was more or less resolved.

Outside the building, Coulson was overseeing agents and NYPD officers as they cleared the streets.

Spotting the team emerging, he quickly dispatched agents to the basement to inspect the nutrient pods, hoping to uncover some useful information.

As he passed Lirael, the acting director of S.H.I.E.L.D. gave him a subtle nod and murmured something at his ears quietly.

Lirael froze for a second and then let out a helpless smile.

It was so quick and subtle that only Steve, who had been watching him closely, noticed it.

The smell of smoke and battle began to fade from the air.

The sky returned to a brilliant blue, and people started emerging from shelters, returning to the streets.

Nearby, Sam was lifting a concrete slab while chatting with Dr. Banner, who had reverted back to his human form.

A little farther away, Hawkeye was busy bickering with Tony over his reclaimed bow, while Natasha stood off to the side with her armscrossed, rolling her eyes as if pretending she didn't know them.

Further back, Lirael stood in the shadow of the building, separate from the lively post-battle scene.

He quietly looked down at his phone, tapping away at something.

Slipping his shield onto his back, Steve hesitated for a moment before walking over.

Lirael had been about to text the @Starsand Strips to say he was safe when a tall figure blocked out the sunlight.

After closing up the screen, Lirael looked up and give him a soft, warm smile.

"What's wrong, Captain?"

"Do you have any plans later?" Steve asked, smiling back instinctively.

"Going home, I guess?" Lirael said shrugged his shoulder. "After all this, I'm pretty sure no one's going to the bakery today. I doubt anyone's in the mood for cake shopping."

"Why not come grab a drink with us?"

Steve gestured toward Tony, who was loudly calling for the Avengers to gather at a bar.

Shaking his head with what looked like reluctant amusement, Steve added, "Tony loves a party. Even when we're exhausted after a mission, we're still expected to show up for his celebrations."

"You all seem very close," Lirael said knowingly. "But I'll pass. I only helped out a little—I don't think I'm quite suited for an Avengers gathering."

Seeing Steve frown as if about to argue, he quickly added, "And Natasha's probably told you already—I'm an elf. Elves don't really enjoy noisy gatherings. Besides, I think what I really need right now is a good night's sleep."

"But…"

Steve couldn't argue with that.

It sounded reasonable enough, but something still felt off.

Yet with Lirael pulling the race card, Steve couldn't find a way to push back.

So, he could only watch with slightly frustrated mood, as the elf offered an apologetic smile, waved his hand to say goodbye, and practically vanished around the corner with inhuman speed.