The Cruel Reality

"God, I hate this already."

I exclaimed as I felt myself drifting into what can only be described as the cliché expanse of the afterlife. You know, the place most incels and pedos go after dying.

Yes, that one, exactly. Although, I was neither one of those. As a matter of fact, I had a girlfr—ok, now that is a lie since we broke up yesterday, but hey, it still doesn't change the fact that I am neither of those. How come I am having a second chance at life?

I would've shaken my head, but I couldn't feel anything. And by 'anything,' I literally meant that I can't feel anything. No sound, no sensation of my skin reacting to some surface or even blank air, no smell, no sight. Just me and my lonely thoughts, thinking about my unholy deeds.

Now I know some goofy-ahh God is going to come and allow me anything since he accidently killed me or a Goddess who is so dumb that she doesn't explain the rules correctly and ends up getting chosen as the one choice every hero gets in this troupe.

I am aware, HAH! I might not be that much of a geek, but my girlfriend sure did her best in drilling every anime and manga and light novel into my head for the past 6 years.

Hmm…

A trickle of sadness like the last few drops from a faucet bled from my being as I reminisced over it. Shaking my head—or the idea of so—I tried to not think about it. Thinking about the good times which are now nothing, but echoes of the past only hinder the present. Maybe this exact idealism is what resulted in my breakup, but hey, at least it makes logical sense. Gives you some moral support.

Unlike this STUPID ENTITY WHO HAS STILL NOT ARRIVED!

"Oh, you said my name?"

A semi-viscous blob of white light appeared in front of me, the light so bright I could feel it. The first semblance of sight had left much more exhilarated than I would've admitted.

"Right, you can't talk." What I assumed was the blob's hand swished and suddenly I felt the sensation of crisp air entering my mouth…which I couldn't feel, by the way.

Feel, in a way, that when I talked, I didn't feel my lips touch.

"Alright, alright, Mister God, I know the plot—"

"How rude, I am a Goddess!"

"Oh? Jumbo Sized Goddess it is."

Silence befell, and once again all I could feel was nothing.

"You shall get no perks going forward!" The man sounding Goddess exclaimed, shrieking as she did.

'How about not reincarnating me as a whole.'

"I can hear you!"

'How convenient. Anyways, just tell me how I died, and we both can go our merry ways. I can just die and fade away and you can go and tickle the pickle of dead men who fancy a CORPSE ahh sounding Goddess, yeah?'

 "You run your mouth a lot for someone who doesn't have many—"

"My apologies." A silvery smooth voice suddenly interrupted. "I will take it from here, Alphonse." She said and without a word the white blob disappeared.

"I apologise Alphonse can be a bit too much sometimes." The voice said and suddenly I started taking shape.

After a few second, I had a tangible form. Nose that could smell the aroma of a thousand flowers, hands that could feel the texture of a fragile, meek hand, feet that felt the cold surface beneath, and eyes that could see the Goddess standing in front of me.

She had long black hair that fell like a steady stream on her features and a pair of pale grey eyes. There was a small mole underneath her right eye and by the left side of her slightly red lips.

She smiled at me, the corners of her eyes crinkling.

"I will make this quick." She said, arching her brows and looking back as a small box appeared, levitating by her hip. Holding it with both her hands, she extended it towards me. "I am Hestia. A Goddess who's names you would've heard on Earth, associated with the divine flames."

Blinking rapidly at the Goddess, I took a moment to digest her words. I could feel my breath hitching and getting caught into my throat. Like her beauty was choking the life out of me.

"I just—" The words choked out of my mouth, half raspy.

"Oh…I am so sorry…" Suddenly the feeling of something grabbing my neck vanished. "I always forget to disable my divinity in front of mortals…"

"It's ok, it's ok…" My words dragged out as I took a moment to recuperate. In the meantime, Hestia just observed me solemnly, looking down at me while the faint glow from the box illuminated her already bright features.

Her grey eyes looked awfully menacing and enchanting at the same time behind those black locks. I know she was a goddess, and I know it's how an average joe is supposed to feel like, however: it is still surreal.

"You just had a panic attack—as you humans like to call it—didn't you?"

"Well losing my perception for what felt like an eternity, dying and then accepting that I am going to get reincarnated and meeting a Goddess wasn't exactly on my bucket list, so I guess?"

She smiled softly at me. "Right. Despite your outward front, you are so…" She locked eyes with me and bit her lip, swallowing her words. "Well, no use crying over spilt milk, right?"

"Now you are talking my tongue." I replied with a laugh, but I felt weak. Suppressing your emotions with inorganic happiness wasn't a good thing, at all, but it was all I had. All I was capable of. The idea of experiencing grief terrified me.

Her grey eyes softened. "Right. So—" She turned around and brought the glowing box again. "Inside here is a blessing. It will help you in the new world. You can get a wish fulfilment as well."

"Not a skill?" I asked quizzically.

"Hmm? Oh dear, no. It is simply a blessing from me which will allow you to use mana. Since your soul was practically designed for a world devoid of mana initially, this blessing is highly important for you. Moreso since everyone in the world you are going to go in can use mana."

"Whattttt??? No OP, borked out of the mind skill for me to defeat a demon lord?"

She chuckled slightly. "Demon Lord? They do not exist. It's a fairy tale we tell newborns in the upper realm."

Her laugh suddenly disappeared as a knowing expression crept up. "God Almighty, Azrael really went ahead and planted these ideas…"

"Huh?"

Things were going too fast for me to process them.

"Azrael. He planted the expectations in humans' minds—even though it was via a medium meant for children—that there are demon lords, and you get overpowered skills when your soul makes the pilgrimage from one reality to another. That is not the case."

Good heavens…I was right to not watch all that brain rot anime. Also, who the fuck is Azrael? 

I opened the box. No exaggerated lights, or sensation of feeling light. Nothing. Just an orb of light entering me and then it ended right there.

Damn these fantasy writers! And Azrael!

"Alrighty!" She clasped her hands excitedly. "Only the wish remains."

"My wish is…" I paused, looking up at her, "…you."

"Doesn't work like that." She rebuked with a suppressed smile and laugh.

"God damn—I mean, damn it." I cursed, shaking my head.

I pondered over my options. There is no gift bestowment. And I am not aware of what the world I am being reincarnated in holds, so I can't even ask something in accordance. However, as I was thinking, something important flashed my mind.

Something that I should've asked long ago.

"How did I die?"

"Is that all?" She cocked her head, the look on her face darkening.

"Yes."

She placed her hand on my forehead. "You will make the pilgrimage to a new world, where new strings shall hold you."

"Wait, wait! You didn't tell me yet!"

"Stay devoted. Praise the ones above. And you shall succeed in everything you aim for." The skin over her forehead creased as she frowned. "As for the answer to your question, it's simple." She slightly shook her head. "You never did."