I did not expect this Today

I don't own fallout

The ghouls hissed and dropped as Satsuki and Masha put half a dozen rounds into the mass of Ferals. Swat watched approvingly as Raid rummaged around curiously in a few boxes. "You girls are getting good at this…"

Masha smiled sweetly at him as Satsuki reloaded, but then glared at him. "You can't expect us to fight Protectrons with these do you?"

"Not particularly, no. But unless we find weapons in here that's what we have. I didn't expect 2 dozen protectrons chasing after us…" He noted calmly, not blaming her for that lack of information, but she was so touchy that he had to step carefully around her. "Now then… how about we go deeper?" he asked, pulling out his sequoia and splattering the wall with a ghoul as it slunk around the corner. He whistled and Raid, ears perking up, carefully moved ahead, low to the ground and sniffing.

"Is it safe for Raid to go first?" Masha asked as he darted around the hallways.

"Out of all of us, Raid is most likely to survive any sort of encounter." Swat replied as Satsuki pointedly ignored him. Examining a nearby door and opening it, looking inside…

BEEP BEEP BEEPBEEPBEEPBEEP!!!

Reacting more on instinct than anything Swat grabbed Satsuki and pulled her out of the room, covering her with his body and ballistic coat as the frag mines exploded in the room. Swat and Satsuki landed hard on the floor, Swat had taken the entirety of the trap, and his coat took the most of it but a near point-blank explosion still hurt like getting stomped on by a Behemoth…

"Fuck… a… DUCK…" Swat moaned tenderly as Masha screamed in horror, skidding to his side as she took off his coat, and checked for any wounds, before carefully rolling him on his back. The buzzing in his ears was so intense that he couldn't hear what they were saying. "I did not expect that today…" he grumbled as their yelling broke through.

"You're going to get him killed!" Masha screamed

"It was an accident!" Satsuki replied, sounding at least apologetic.

*BARK BARK BARK!!!* that was mostly Raid. He wanted to be involved.

"STOP. TALKING." Swat said, the ringing in his head and ears not going away as he pulled a stimpack from his pocket and jabbed it into his leg. Sighing in contentment as he reached up and grabbed Satsuki's vault suit collar, glaring at her. She at least had the decency to look apologetic as she sounded. "Let. The dog. Pick. The PATH…"

They helped him sit up, the stimpack working its sweet sciencey magic as he glared at his coat, it was going to take him all night to fix it. He didn't even know if he had the weave for it. He investigated the smoking room, spat in annoyance, and shut the door, glaring at the sheepish Satsuki before following Raid. Limping slightly in silence as the girls, Masha giving her friend a very stern look, followed.

Suddenly… Raid stopped and sniffed low to the ground before quietly growling… Swat frowned and was even more annoyed now that his coat was wrecked as he drew his sequoia. He held his finger to his lips, looking pointedly at the girls as they nodded, and together they rounded the corner into yet another hallway but with a room at the end…

"To be, or not to be: that is the question. Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer. The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune. Or to take arms against a sea of troubles. And by opposing end them. To die: to sleep."

They all froze. "…What the hell is that?" Swat asked curiously as even Raid tilted his head in confusion. "…Did I hit my head harder than I thought?" he asked looking at the girls who merely shrugged.

"Brilliant!" came a chuckle, "If I do say so myself…" stomping passed the doorframe was a 7-foot-tall blue-skinned super mutant. A night kin. He wore a shirt that was far too small for him, a tie that wasn't tied, and one half of a broken pair of glasses crudely converted into a monocle. He didn't notice them, he cleared his throat before pacing again. "No more, and by a sleep to say we end. The heartache, and the thousand natural shocks. That flesh is heir to… to." He turned towards the open door and saw them staring back at him. He blinked behind his monocle, the book in his hand snapping shut as he cleared his throat and raised his hand. "…Good evening." He said, smiling slightly, only really managing to terrify Masha who whimpered nervously.

Swat's sequoia went up but he let out a rather undignified shriek and raised his hands in submission. "Wait! Wait, good sir! I beg you do not shoot." He stepped away from the door, as Swat stood up, approaching him carefully as he seemed to shiver. "Now-now I'm sure we can… we can talk about this after all…" he cleared his throat, 'smiling politely'. Or at least his idea of it. "I am a Super Mutant."

Swat stared at him agape, "…I did not expect this today." He said rather disbelievingly, "Were you… what were you reading?" he asked, looking at the cover of the rather dirty-looking book. 'Hamlet' in clear bold letters, followed by the name 'William Shakespeare.'

"Its. An old-world play. Written by the Bard himself." Swat just stared at him looking more confused than curious as the girls trained their pistols on him. "William Shakespeare? He was quite famous in the old days."

"And you talking like a posh Commonwealth aristocrat?" Swat asked coolly.

"That is a very long story and I'm not comfortable with you pointing guns at me while I tell it…" he said rather hesitantly, still holding his hands up. "Perhaps we could all just calm down? I am unarmed, and I assure you I'm not like other mutants." He added as Raid sniffed his feet. He fidgeted at first but held very still as Raid circled him, Swat watching his best friend examine the mutant before walking away and yawning.

…That was good enough for Swat, who lowered his gun unhesitatingly, the super mutant sighed in relief. "My dog says you're okay." Swat added, holstering his sequoia as the girls hesitantly did the same.

"Well, I do love dogs." The supermutant smiled charmingly but only managed 'slightly less horrific', walking over to what was obviously his bed and sitting down on it. It creaked under his weight. "Well… I suppose civilized people would introduce themselves. And since I can't remember my real name, I've settled for Shakespeare, after the Bard." He said with a polite bow, "And pray tell, what are your names?"

Swat tried to contain a giggle, well there were worse names to pick from. "Well, I'm Swat. This is Raid, that's Satsuki and Masha, and having a polite conversation with a super mutant is definitely something I didn't expect I'd do today."

"Well talking without smashing wasn't something I expected to do either. It all started when…" but Swat held up a hand as the girls seemed to feign interest, carefully looking around as Raid made himself comfortable.

"…How about the crib notes?" he asked, smiling slightly.

Shakespeare cleared his throat, "…I was in the commonwealth one day. Running around with a pack of Barbarians smashing and looting, it was not one of my more civilized moments. When we were ambushed by those… 'Syths'. The mechanical men… I don't really remember what happened, but I knew I was being experimented on. Then, after what must have been months I woke up out here. Alone. I found some other Night kin like me but when they heard me speak they thought I was. As they put it." He cleared his throat and sounding like a regular super mutant roared, "'Sound like stupid human!'" he cleared his throat again going back to 'normal', "But they've gone now. Dead or run off to Jacobstown. I like it here and not many people bother me…"

"Hmmn." Swat nodded, half-interested as he then saw five books stacked on a small table and he immediately approached, "…May I?" he asked as Shakespeare gestured politely to 'go ahead.' Swat briefly read the first few pages of each book and frowned. "…No." he said annoyed, carefully staking them again. "Not what I'm looking for."

"They're all by Shakespeare." The super mutant grinned as Masha and Satsuki carefully read a book. "There was a whole trunkful. I think the ghouls had them before they left…"

"Well…" Swat noted coolly, flinching slightly as his body began to ache from the earlier explosion. "I'm sorry we disturbed you." He said, snapping his fingers at Raid who promptly got back to his paws. "It's clear you aren't a harm to anyone…" he added gesturing to the girls it was time to leave.

"Well, it was nice to talk to someone who didn't hiss and try to bite me." Shakespeare replied, although a little sad. "I don't suppose you'd like to stay for tea?"

Swat politely shook his head although Masha seemed tempted. "No. Thank you. We have to go prepare for guests of our own, and I need to patch up my coat." He showed Shakespeare his duster, "I need to fix its ballistic lining."

"Ah!" Shakespeare said, "Well. As a gift for the delightful conversation." He easily tugged out a massive heavy trunk from beneath his bed and opened it, handing Swat a package of ballistic fiber, "Please take this. I have no use for it. But, being a packrat is necessary in these times."

Swat nodded his thanks as Masha waved sweetly to him. "Thank you… you know you could go to Jacobstown yourself, it's a lot better than being alone here."

"Yes well." He frowned slightly, "That would be like inviting a ghoul into a town of 'smoothskins'. Genetically the same, but mocked regardless."

Swat nodded, and he turned to walk out.

"…He's nice." Masha said, looking over her shoulder back up the hallway where Shakespeare was already reading 'Hamlet' again. "…Maybe we should ask him to help…"

"I'm not in the habit of asking everyone we come across to form a posse." Swat replied, "How would you like it if I kicked down your door and demanded you help us?"

"But a guy that big and menacing looking…" Satsuki noted, "Sir Rodney would piss himself…"

Swat glared at Satsuki, he was still a little annoyed with her, "Stop calling him 'Sir Rodney'. Out here he's just Rodney… or dickbag, or shithead. Stop showing him respect." Satsuki shivered, fighting years of conditioning as Swat left her to think about his words. "…Now. Come on and let's head back to Casey and Jack-" but he paused as Raid suddenly darted off. "Hey!" he chased after Raid who promptly pawed a metal cabinet.

Swat opened it and smiled fondly. "Well… I didn't expect this today." He pulled out a pair of Laser rifles complete with fusion cells as he handed them to the girls. "Let the dog pick the path." He added as they practiced aiming with them, getting a feel for their weight. "Never liked laser rifles myself." He added as they left the facility, heading back to the checkpoint. "But they are better than those 10mms I bought you back in Salty City.

"Swat." Swat stopped as Satsuki addressed him, Masha walking ahead with Raid, casually stroking his fur as Swat turned to face her. "…Thanks." She said, not meeting his eyes as she quickly walked ahead. He smirked, she'd be fun to be around if she wasn't so dead set on hating every man that came near here.

Casey checked the rifle Masha now claimed, looking down the barrel as Swat tossed his coat onto a table. Jack, calmly looked down the scope of his Winchester, keeping an eye out as he kept his good leg on the ammo box of grenades. "Laser rifles. You got some luck, Chuck." She handed Masha back the rifle, "And this old Ghoul has been as tight-lipped as you are…"

"I honestly don't remember his name. I just kept calling him Brat." Jack replied lazily, eyeing Swat's coat as he pulled out the ballistic fiber to fix it. "And what did you do to Gladys' coat?" he groaned in legitimate dismay as Swat began to patch the holes.

"Frag mine." Swat replied bluntly as Raid yawned and rolled over, Masha happily giving him attention as Swat tried to deter the tirade that Jack would inevitably bring about. "It caught me off guard."

"I hate frag mines." Jack grumbled, rubbing his prosthetic leg, "But you should know better!" if the girls didn't know better they'd say that Jack was actually concerned for Swat rather than his old partner's coat.

"Well, you know me Jack, if something isn't exploding around me in a big fiery ball the day is wasted!" Swat joked.

"Oh, shut it girls you're both pretty." Casey mumbled, having enough of their weird bantering argument, handing Satsuki her new rifle back, "Especially you Jack-ass."

"Go let the NCR up yours!" Jack replied abruptly, leaning against his rifle. He eyed Swat, "You find everything else helpful?"

"A super mutant quoting a 16th-century playwright." Masha said. Casey laughed, and Swat rolled his eyes.

"No seriously." Casey replied trying to hold back a giggle.

"A night kin quoting a…" Swat eyed Masha, "16th​ century? How do you know that?"

"I read about him in the Vault's library once." Masha replied, Swat stopped patching his coat to look at her. His face was a picture of complete surprise.

"Does it have books?" Swat asked hopefully.

"Yeah. Lots, it's a library." Satsuki replied trying not to sound snarky after Swat took a frag mine for her "But they were hardly ever used, mostly the Nobles just wanted some Librarian roleplaying…" Satsuki added with a grimace.

Swat and Jack suddenly looked pointedly at each other, and Swat went back to work in silence. His mind far, far away back in The Salty City… it wouldn't take him long to go back that way… he just needed someone to show him the way to Vault 69 and its treasure trove of pre-war books, he didn't expect to find out about those today either.

But he'll deal with all of that after he deals with Rodney. Dickbag. Shitstain... Fatass. Whatever he was going to call him when he shot him.

End of chapter.