Heroico corde-XVII

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DATE:9th of June, the 70th year after the Coronation

LOCATION: Concord Metropolis

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I thought about what the Changeling said. I am not perfect. I am also not unaffected by this environment. How could I be immune?

I thought about ending it. Just stopping it all, but then.... Then it would just be nothing, wouldn't it?

All of it for nothing.

That is the truth about life.

But there was no point in being stunned by such a fact. I raised from my bed and got on with the day.

The students were extremely anxious during my hours, talking between each other about what happened the other day. They were even asking me, apparently our rumors having spread about my involvement.

But I don't like rumors and neither debating them. With the Dean gone I could beat up whoever I want so I ordered them to be silent. It's not like I care about our relationship, I only have a week and a half more to teach.

The doctor was right about my condition though, as I was unusually tired. I shouldn't use the caffeine supplement for a while.

I talked with the professor and he was of the opinion that I should do another brain scan to adjust the dosage more, so I borrowed Alice's car and drove there. I said borrowed, but she insisted in coming with me. Does this girl really not have anything to do except harass me?

At the doctor's, I did another full scan.

He wanted to show me some of his inventions and although I didn't care, I had a companion insisting in my presence being needed.

The professor showed me a lot of different pieces of armor and snarkly remarked. How inferior the Hao suit I used was in comparison to his. Personally, I don't really understand his perspective. Surely his weapons may be more powerful, but his are more certainly isn't.

The Hao suit youth can survive caliber up until a 50 mm and the protection is all over the body. The armor the professor designed is more of a classic military style, with a helmeta vest and reinforced trousers. They may technically be stronger as they are full plates of steel in them, but it is cumbersome and the protection is not all over the body.

I suppose there is a need for definition as the Hao suit is a special ops equipment while the professor's flack armor is more of a normal soldier thing, or perhaps swat. It certainly is more resistant to explosives, but I wouldn't be in the radius of one with neither of these.

He had a lot of weapons, rifles to machine guns to rocket launchers bombs and other explosives. Apparently they are his hobby since Young. The Androids could be armed but the professor says he doesn't believe in using them for war. I doubt this is the case though, otherwise why would he develop them so much?

These things are the perfect infiltrators so I believe there is a 0% chance they aren't used in any war. But there is no need to destroy the fiction that Alice built around him.

After the factory tour we returned to the dorm where I remembered I had to meet Sasha.

With the Deen gone I'm not sure what she would say, or whatever she knows for that matter. There was a matter of clarification.

I stopped by her counseling office.

It is set within one of the academy's oldest wings, with high vaulted ceilings, wooden beams, and large arched windows that let in streams of natural light. The stone walls are lined with ivy creeping in from the outside. I would say this is because of my earthquakes but I doubt it.

The furniture is a mixture of antique and modern. A large, polished mahogany desk sits at the center, worn smooth by years of use, while a few advanced gadgets and holographic displays provide a discreet technological edge, their modernity at odds with the room's age yet blending seamlessly into the space. There are bookshelves filled with.... I'm actually not sure, but old books nevertheless.

The office retains its academic charm, with the walls adorned by portraits of past heroes who once walked the halls of the academy, their silent gazes a reminder of the burden of responsibility. But not for me. The chairs are plush, though aged, and sit atop intricately woven rugs that tell stories of battles fought and won by the academy's alumni. One of them even describes the fight with a dragon. I wonder what villain that was. Hidden away in the corner is a small alcove with an old fireplace, obviously unused since it was summer and beside it, a table holding crystal decanters of water, tea, or even stronger elixirs for those with particularly heavy burdens to unload. I didn't expect a counselor to have so many drugs.

But all of that was expected from this setting. What surprised me was how little I could smell the cigarette smoke. Supposedly, Sasha goes through a pack a day, and she remains most of the time here and yet the air is surprisingly clean. She is a really decent person, I like that. Unlike a certain someone... But I should give Alice the benefit of the doubt, her room may have been a mess from the depression. I should check it in the future to see that.

Anyway, Sasha was wearing a heavy broided blouse with a skirt underneath you could barely see. It was almost covered by the blouse. She had a strange resistance to heat, but I could also say that about myself. I'm still in a long-sleeved shirt.

"Willy! You came by." She was very happy to see me and honestly I was too. She was much more level-headed than the other teachers.

"Yup. I want you to come by sooner but it got kind of chaotic."

" You mean the thing with the Dean yes? Please take a seat." I took one of the chairs and sat opposite of the counselor. Her gaze wasn't as oppressive as the moon girl's. Sasha said she lived through much suffering, but I couldn't see it. Or was it that she didn't want me to see it?

" So what is it that you wanted to discuss?"

"Ah, yes. It was about your nightmares. I wanted to try something with you. Do you see that bed in the corner?"

"Yes?" She instructed me to lie on the bed, before she raised my head and planted it on her tights. I found it strange, but apparently it has something to do with her ability.

Sasha instructed me to sleep so that she could try to get to the bottom of my nightmares. I thought it was foolish as it was too early for me to sleep, but Sasha started caressing my head with her soft, delicate hands....

I didn't understand why, but my eyes started to tire. I was already tired, But she was actually making me fall asleep.

" Let me take a share of your burdens-" was the last thing I heard before my conscience went out.

I was back in the void.

I found myself in a puddle of a black liquid, one that took great effort to raise out of. I could feel a presence hugging me from the back. Was it Sasha? It was a white figure I didn't recognize.

Something screamed in the distance. Was it father? I could hear the thing crying towards me at great speed, but there was a mist around me that didn't let me see the direction. It felt as if it could be coming from anywhere.

Just as he was 1 m away, taking me by surprise, a set of white strings come from the ceiling and restrict its movement. The creature was Father after all.

"There's no need to feel alone anymore." A woman's voice spoke to me. I think it was Sasha's?

"You can come out of that wardrobe William." What was she talking about? A wardrobe. Wasn't I in a puddle of blood?

"Come outside Will." What does she mean outside? I followed the voice through that knee deep liquid until I reached a door.

A... Wardrobe door?

I pushed it with all my strength but it didn't move. Then I started taking some distance to make a run for it. I charged at the door once, twice.... Eventually the lock broke and I fell into a room. It was.... My childhood home?

Sasha was sitting on my bed looking at me from above.

"What the hell did you do?"

" You're not alone anymore Will. Come here."

She opened her arms and I instinctively raised myself to hug her. This wasn't natural. No this whole thing was strange. I sat on her lap still wet from that black blood where she caressed my hair.

" You said we were similar. What do you mean by that Sasha?" Her expression had a sense of maternal love. For who exactly? We don't know each other.

" We lived in quite a similar way.... So I know what you're going through.

This trauma that you have from your childhood shouldn't burden you anymore."

No, something was definitely strange. I am aware of my mind enough to know it. She wasn't caressing my hair. She was caressing my brain. She was doing something in my mind. To my mind.

I slap her hand away and raised on my feet.

"Don't resist it Will. I'm just taking the pain away." Was that really?

" Who are you to take my pain away?"

" Trauma doesn't define us. We must move forward from it."

" And how am I not doing that? I don't care about it. Not anymore. But it doesn't mean you can just erase it. We are defined by our memories!"

" Are you really moving away from it? This apathy that you live through and this connection from reality stem from that trauma.

Do you not even realize?

How can you be aware of your present if your mind is stuck in the past?" This was very bad. I didn't expect her to do such a thing. This isn't even about my trauma because I can live with the nightmares. But what will happen to me if she does make me moral? How could I live with myself with what I've done all this life? I am a criminal.

" I don't want this."

" That is a lie. It is in fact that you think you don't deserve it, isn't it?" No that definitely wasn't it! At least now I know she can't actually read my thoughts... Or....

" Come back. Will~." Her words had some form of manipulation over my will. It was like they drew me like a siren. I tried covering my ear but it was clear it was a telepathic communication and not actually based on sound.

I wanted to resist, but even with all my experience with such phenomenon, I was powerless. I could feel my body moving on its own back to to the Russian girl.

" Please don't misunderstand, I am not forcing you. The simple fact you come to me means that you want to let go."

" No, that isn't true!"

" Some part of you wants. Something deep inside that broken mind of yours."

" What do you even know about me?"

" It's not the first time I enter your mind. This place is a Palace of heart and suffering and it saddened me very much that you go through it so often...

Take a seat Will." I didn't want to yet. I was way out of my league. I sat back and I could feel my mind slipping away. I was slipping away?

Was it that this broken self is not even the real me? Is it the one I created to resist the pain? It is absorbed, but I read red enough books about the subject to know that it is possible. I don't think it is the case of a persona, or multiple personalities. I was desensitized through suffering and this girl wants to read me of it.

I live so long like this. It is myself. So what does she think she's doing? Freeing a soul? No, she is killing me!

I couldn't do anything to stop it. I felt my sense of self disappear. Would I be a totally different person when I opened my eyes? Would I be someone else entirely?

At this point it was my loss. I should just give up now and not prolong this strange sensation any longer. I want to close my eyes and let go, but then...

Sasha screamed. It was a scream of pain, one strong enough it made me shiver. Strange red energy exploded like lightning from her body and pushed me away. It felt like burning my skin when it touched me.

Turnung around her eyes were glowing with the same color but in a stronger intensity. Why was she screaming? Why was she in so much hurt?

I could hear her say a single word repeated so many times in so many languages, in so many voices {No}. The walls of my room partially collapsed, revealing an empty space with distant stars outside. It was as if I left Earth and what remained of my room was being pulled out by the lack of gravity. Yes I could also float.

What happened next was even stranger.

I saw an eye outside, and prompted against the semi-destroid wall, I glanced out of the room. A figure was looking at us, some kind of malformation of flesh with dozens of eyes. They weren't a human's eye. They were eyes of goats, of cats of crocodiles, eyes of hounds and bovines and horses. The creature wasn't in the shape of a human. It resembled a star and glowed with eerie intensity.

Suddenly, Sasha screamed and the rest of the house got blown away. We were left only in that alien space, surrounded by the creature the size of a 10-story building.

It's multiple eyes moved between each of us. I could hear words in the distance, but it wasn't an alphabet I understood. They were said as if from kilometers away but I was sure they came from the thing in front of me.

Wait, were they the ones affecting Sasha? Surely someone much more in tune with the soul like her would understand them. For health, this is exactly why she is currently losing herself in them. I'm sure the language of an Eldritch abomination is above what a human is capable of hearing. Perhaps this is exactly why my ears are deaf, as if to protect me in the face of this thing.

But was this creature even something else? Even an invader? Could it just be me? Sasha did say she was searching for the depth of my trauma.

What if this is the real me and I am the false amalgamation of flesh. Otherwise why would I look 10 years younger than my actual age? How is that a property that the human body has?

But if it really was me then I wouldn't be in this body would I?

" Who are you?" I call out to the monster but I can't hear my voice in this place. Mirroring the proprieties of space, sound obviously doesn't travel. So where its whispers also telepathy?

I thought my words were ignored yet it opened its mouth. It split down the middle, revealing A human's split tongue from which came out more tongues of snakes.

Then I felt my whole body vibrate.

"They call me Baku, by word and whisper." It was a distorted kind of static. As if a voice you hear over a weak connection of radio. Even like this, it hurt to hear. I could feel both my eyes and ears bleeding from just a sentence of this creature's translation.

But I persisted.

" What is happening to Sasha?"

"What doth the witch hope to gain by thrusting her nose where it hath no place? What fortune or folly drives her to meddle in matters beyond her ken?"

"Why doth the witch strive to unveil that which she hath no cause to uncover? What hidden purpose or mischief compels her to pry where her reason falters?"

They were many voices, not to just one. Voices of men, of women, of children, of animals? Why could I hear voices of birds and bovines and hounds and cats? I fell close to losing my conscience from these few sentences.

The girl before me? Her skin was unraveling from her body, as if losing its grip. She was dying.

" Let her leave this place."

The thing slowly closed its mouth and didn't respond. It's many eyes directed themselves towards me.

" Æn Të?"

I barely even understood what it said.

" I am already here, am I not?"

Then my eyes opened and we were back in her office.

Sasha fell above me, bleeding heavily. It seems like the wounds she sustained in my mind where also placed on her real body. Was it her ability's limitation?

I pulled what strength I still had in my arms to call John. I let her stand straight on the bed bloodied bed, waiting for the doctor to arrive.

Listening to her lungs, it was clear that the counselor wasn't breathing anymore so I started doing it for her like in the training material.

When John arrived he bursted it through the door with a pained expression. He was dressed slowly still halfway his pajamas. I had to stop myself from laughing, as his shirt head Alvin the Chipmunk on it.

Then I raised her from what position would force her skin the least and moved her towards the entrance of the Academy. John decided my touch was more delicate, but I could barely move so I didn't appreciate his opinion.

He had prepared a strong cloth on his backseat to cover her so that her folding skin wouldn't be pulled out. I have to give it to him, he moves very fast.

We got to the central hospital and she was placed in an immediate intervention room.

Seeing me almost collapsed while helping him to the elevator, John instructed me wait in one of the free patient rooms while he restructures her skin before, he will take a look at me.

Entering the room he instructed me, it was very similar to the other ones I stayed in. After about 10 minutes I got tired and decided to rest a bit on the bed, even if I would paint it with my clothes full of blood.

I don't like hospital beds, but somehow the moment I placed myself there, my eyes closed and I fell asleep.

I found myself in a small, wooden room, probably in the void, but the creature was gone. Father was sitting across from me, placing a small table between us.

We were sitting on some wood? I am not sure what material it was, but I remember seeing it in Asin houses. It was a kind of mat. Father took out a chess set and laid it out.

And for the rest of the night.... We played chess?

It was very strange....

There was a clock on the wall behind him, and I was sure it was the actual hour in the real world. I thought there would be a catch, that perhaps it never moved and I would be here for an eternity, or that father would break out of this routine and return to his normal one...

But that never happened....

For the whole night, the whole 8 hours I slept....

We played chess....