Chapter 85: Scoundrel!

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"William, we sit next to her twin in Arithmancy almost every class."

"Well she might already have a date," I point out reasonably. "I didn't want to limit my options."

"I don't know if Padma has a date or not," Parvati says. "I can ask her."

I grin. "Will she let me kiss her hand, too? If so, I can handle the introductions and the asking."

She shoots me a questioning look. "I thought you already knew her?"

"Damn, you're right. Well, maybe I can still slip one in anyway. Since you didn't say no, I'll let her know you thought it would be okay. Thanks, Parvati! See you guys!" I give them a wave and turn toward the portrait.

"Wait, William," Hermione calls, "where are you going?"

I turn back. "I'm going to see if Padma needs a date, obviously."

"Alone? And we haven't gone through the Gryffindors yet."

I shrug. "If we Gryffindors are foolish enough to let someone as gorgeous as Parvati go this long, maybe the 'Claws did the same. If she's unavailable, there's a Slytherin girl I want to check on."

"Daphne already has a date," Hermione says, eyebrow raised.

"Not her," I say with a grin.

"Do you want us to come with you?" Harry says, jumping up.

I shrug again. "I can handle it. You can come if you like, but if I end up in the Slytherin dungeons, a pride of Harry Potter's Gryffindors might start a battle."

"I agree, Harry's out," Hermione says.

"I'll come," Parvati jumps in. "I want to see my sister's f—er, I mean I want to see my sister."

"You sure? I might pop down to the dungeons anyway," I warn.

She shrugs. "No problem."

"I'll come, too," Ron says, looking like he'd rather do anything but.

"William's not going to steal your date, Ronald," Hermione says, rolling her eyes. Then she looks at me seriously. "Will you be okay? You won't antagonize a dozen Slytherins this time?"

Parvati and Ron's eyes bug out of their heads, and I laugh. "It was only eight or nine, and they started it. Besides, Harry and I just figured something out, and I can scare them away with my Ultima demi-flare."

"William Adalbert Lerner, don't you even—!"

I laugh. "Hey, I like that one! And I'm mostly kidding about that last part, I assure you."

"William..." she warns.

"Okay, okay," I say, holding my hands up in surrender, "no lethal bars of superheated plasma turning Slytherins to slag, I promise."

"Er, slag has a different meaning here, William," Hermione says.

"Oh...oh!" I laugh. I remember one fic that used that term fairly often now. "Well, I won't turn them into those either."

We fall silent for a moment, in which Harry frowns and Hermione bites her lip, looking back and forth between him and me.

"We'll be fine, Hermione," I say softly. "It's not like we'll be going all over the map."

Understanding dawns in her eyes. "Right." She looks at Parvati. "Do keep him out of trouble, will you?"

"Who, me?" I ask, grinning. "I'm no Harry Potter, you know. Kidding, Harry!" I add quickly when he's about to protest. "Well, we're off then."

"Wait, I'm going." Neville says, standing.

I smile. "Yes, I suppose we'll see Luna." He blushes furiously so I give him a break. "Very well. Ms. Patil, would you like to bring anybody?"

Shortly afterward I find myself in the rather unusual company of Neville, Lavender, and Parvati, heading down the steps just outside the portrait hole on our way to Ravenclaw Tower. The better-looking half, however, walk behind us to giggle and gossip excitedly. I tune them out almost as soon as they start.

"So, Neville," I say. "Do you, uh, know the best way to get there?"

He frowns. "I know a way to get there. Come to think of it, it's probably not the best way from Gryffindor common room."

"Pardon me, Ms. Patil, do you know the best way to Ravenclaw Tower? I know a way from the Great Hall, but I imagine there's a more optimal route from here." Really I just know the way from the seventh floor corridor, but that would sound weird.

For some reason Lavender finds my question giggle-worthy.

"Well I don't know about any secret passages, but we can follow the third floor corridor past McGonagall's office, then around the quad and up to the fifth floor entrance."

"Thanks," I say with a nod, and then I grin as I decide to engage them in conversation. "Say, Parvati, which approach do you think Padma will appreciate when I ask her: the charming rogue or the chivalrous gentleman?"

"Which one are you better at?" Parvati asks while Lavender giggles again.

"Well I'm best at inappropriate scoundrel, but I only use that on Slytherins," I say. "Judging by how popular Malfoy is, they like that sort of thing."

The olive-skinned girl hides her smile, though her dark brown eyes give away her amusement. "Is that your natural behavior then?"

"It is," I say with a grin. "Despite walking in front of you both, I've already stolen twenty-three more inappropriate glances at the pair of you than Neville has."

Lavender finally looks shocked but now it's Parvati's turn to giggle. "To be honest I think you'll have to be a bit more boring and bookish. Of course if she doesn't have a date, the fact that you're asking her will probably mean she'll say yes."

"Hmm, that sounds quite promising," I say, rubbing my chin. "Do you think she'd let me kiss her on the cheek, then? Without slapping me afterward, I mean."

"You never know," she says, eyes twinkling.

"So how many glances have you stolen?" Lavender asks.

"Twenty-three when I asked you that question. I'm up to twenty-six now. How about you, Ms. Brown?"

"I am a lady, thank you very much!" she says with feigned indignation. I just grin in reply.

"You are a scoundrel," she says in a huff.

"Yes, an inappropriate one, at that," I say unabashedly.

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