Chapter 22

PICCOLO

The next few months were harder than I expected.

In addition to my constant anguish at not being able to be with Lettie and Naíma, we had to face another problem: Goku.

Days after that weekend together, our entire group gathered at Bulma's house to make the wishes with the Namekian Dragon Balls. However, we barely got there and I was already nervous, as Lettie met Vegeta again for the first time since our battle against the Saiyans.

It was a very tense moment. Vegeta clearly disliked her, for in his view, she was nothing more than a traitor who preferred to stay on Earth's side. As for Lettie, her post-traumatic stress disorder didn't allow her to forget all the atrocities that Vegeta did and said.

When I read Lettie's feelings while we waited for everyone to arrive at the Capsule Corporation's garden, I felt that she was terrified as she stared at Vegeta from afar, pressing Naíma against her chest as if just the look of that bastard could kill her precious little daughter. It must have been horrifying for her to know that the guy who threatened to force her to have "pure-blood children" was now watching her with a baby in her arms.

If Vegeta dared to lay a single finger on them, I would finish him off.

Fortunately, he didn't say a word to us the entire time we were there. However, Vegeta's presence was not the only disappointment we suffered that day.

Gohan, Chi-chi and Lettie were quite anxious, as that meeting also meant the possibility of bringing Goku back (from wherever he was). All of us, including Goku's other friends and the Namekians, surrounded the large Dragon Balls.

Since he belonged to the Dragon Clan, Dende was responsible for summoning Porunga, the Namekian wishing-granting dragon. To my dismay, Naíma found it really amusing to see him talking to those bright orange spheres. However, when the massive and gigantic Porunga appeared in the sky, her little black eyes opened wide and she turned to ME, asking for MY arms.

With a triumphant smile on my lips, I took Naíma from her mother's arms and snuggled her in mine, giving her the protection she was looking for. I was even happier when Lettie also cringed against my chest, because it was the first time she was witnessing the appearance of the great dragon.

Being translated by Dende, Bulma then first asked for Goku and Krillin's souls to be brought to Earth, since they had died on Namek and the planet had been blown up. If they were resurrected there, they would die again from the vacuum of space.

However, something happened.

Porunga claimed that only Krillin's soul could be brought back, because Goku was alive. It was quite a shock for everyone there. How could Goku have survived a global explosion?

For a moment, there was a warm celebration as we discover that Goku was alive. Chi-chi and Gohan hugged each other emotionally next to us. But, I noticed Lettie's closed expression.

"What is it?" I asked.

"It's odd..." She looked at me with a frown. "If my brother is alive, why didn't he return to Earth?"

"Well, Aunt Lettie," said Gohan happily, "maybe the spaceship he has escaped got broken in the way or something."

Lettie and Chi-chi and I exchanged worried glances. Something wasn't right in that story, and we, the adults, noticed it. I saw how Chi-chi grabbed the clothes around her chest, evidently holding back her tears.

The second wish was for Porunga to resurrect Krillin, which was done without any problems. He appeared in front of us, with a pretty confused look, but he soon realized that he had been resurrected. Apparently, that was already becoming a routine for him.

Finally, it was time for Bulma to wish Goku's return to Earth.

Chi-chi grabbed her sister-in-law's hands and Lettie returned the gesture; both anxiously waiting to see Goku again. A long minute of silence passed as Porunga's red eyes lit up as he processed the wish.

"I can't do that," declared the gigantic dragon. "The wish was refused."

Everyone's smiles faded instantly. No one dared to make a peep.

"This man called Goku," continued Porunga, "informed me that he will return on his own."

"Wh-What…?!" asked Chi-chi, with her face pale.

"But why?" Gohan turned to me; his eyes full of tears. "Why doesn't my father want to come back now? Doesn't he want to see us, Mr. Piccolo?"

I barely had the chance to respond to him, and chaos took over that garden. Everyone started talking over each other about why the heck Goku refused to return to Earth. Lettie and I could only exchange distressed looks, as Gohan and Chi-chi were devastated by the news, with their heads down, shrunken and speechless right next to us. To make things worse, someone said out loud that Goku decided not to return because he was afraid of his wife.

"Mr. Piccolo…" Gohan turned to me again, his voice choked with tears. "My father doesn't like us? That's why he doesn't want to come back?"

I reflected on his question. How painful it must be for a child to think about the possibility that his father might not like him to the point that he would prefer to stay on another planet, probably training, while his family waited anxiously for his return. Looking at Naíma still in my arms, I couldn't imagine how Goku had the courage to leave his son here, helpless. Beside me, Lettie was comforting Chi-chi, who was crying in silence.

"Don't worry, Gohan," Now, I was the one trying to comfort him. "Goku said he will be back soon. He'll certainly find a way to come to Earth." I raised my head to Porunga. "Hey! In Goku's place, resurrect one of the warriors who are with King Kai!"

A while later, Yamcha appeared in front of us. Tien and Chiaotzu decided to stay with King Kai a little longer and would be resurrected the next time the Namekian Dragon Balls would work again. Once that was done, Porunga disappeared and the Dragon Balls dispersed throughout the world.

The next 130 days were a tremendous challenge for our little family group.

Due to the news that Goku would not return, Chi-chi and Gohan's emotional state worsened considerably. Now, they were both undergoing therapy, but the improvement was slow and painful.

The result: I had to spend my weekdays keeping an eye on Gohan and his mother, to see if they were still okay, alone in that house in the middle of nowhere. Consequently, I would also take the opportunity to see Lettie and Naíma, as they lived nearby.

Our weekends now also included Chi-chi, so she didn't feel even lonelier. That at least helped keep my feelings for Lettie in check, because with Chi-Chi around, I didn't have as much freedom to let them come out.

Still, it was hard.

Being in the presence of Lettie and Naíma only reminded me how much my unhappy fate was still a reality. It deeply hurt to watch my little girl grow up before my eyes in those next few months, with her mother following every phase of her development, and me needing to repress my paternal and loving feelings towards them.

Naíma was becoming an extremely cute baby. I have never met a more pure and adorable human being than her. Even though she wasn't Lettie's biological daughter, I had no doubt that she was also capable of climbing onto the Flying Nimbus. With each passing day, I saw her learn to sit, to react to our plays, to dance to any classical music, to improve her motor coordination and get stronger until she started to crawl.

It was the funniest thing in the world, seeing her crawling after me or Gohan when we were around the house, laughing out loud and finding it so funny to chase us. Indeed, I agreed with Lettie's claim: Naíma was a gift from heaven. Her existence brought the joy that our family group needed so much in the midst of so much affliction and anguish.

Speaking of Lettie, nothing excited her more when the food introduction phase finally arrived for Naíma. For a culinary lover like her, having the opportunity to teach her daughter about different foods and flavors was more than a pleasure, it was an honor.

With each passing day, I loved that woman more. Just as I witnessed the evolution of little Naíma, I also witnessed the evolution of her mother.

Lettie was far from that insecure and frightened person I met on Master Roshi's island. Now, she was a mature woman, a mother and an owner of her own Martial Arts School. In addition, of course, her genetics contributed to her becoming more beautiful every day, with her short black hair contrasting with her fair skin and her blue eyes shining like headlights on a stormy night.

More than all of that, Lettie made me want to be a better man. Even on the days when we didn't see each other, she still made me reflect on life and what really mattered. I clearly remember the words I said on Master Roshi's island, when Gohan was kidnapped by Raditz, "I don't seek the peace of this planet, and I don't care what can happen to your son, Goku. He's just interfering with my plan of... world domination!"

Today, I feel profound shame and embarrassment knowing that I uttered those words with such indifference. How ridiculous and childish I was. Now, what I wanted most was for this world to find peace, and for Gohan to be okay.

However, as my Enemy said, the price of this new dream of mine would be expensive. Much more than I could handle. Having to live with Lettie and Naíma without being able to show my love with total freedom was becoming… unbearable.

Many of my nights' sleep were filled with nightmares or confusing dreams. My headaches were constant. I was emotionally exhausted. Like I was fighting a battle every second in my mind. To tell the truth, I think that's exactly what happened.

And my Enemy always won.

I was a fool to think I could close my heart to Lettie and Naíma. Each time I saw them, it would open up more. The feeling I had was that my wife and daughter were there, right in front of me, but I couldn't declare them as mine.

I saw how Lettie's eyes gleamed with happiness when I was with Naíma; sometimes playing, sometimes giving a bottle or baby food, sometimes reading a children's book, or even when I changed that atomic bomb they called a diaper.

In everything, I read her feelings and knew how much she also wanted a life with me. But I couldn't just walk up to her and say, "Lettie, I'm sorry I can't marry you, because if we do, our children, including this little baby in your arms, will mercilessly die. Deal with it."

It would be too cruel. For me and for her.

All of that just made me question: what's the point of living with the people you love, without the right to be able to love them completely?

That was then I decided to leave.

The deadline of 130 days was approaching for the Namekian Dragon Balls to be ready for use again. That time, I knew that my fellow countrymen would want Porunga to take them to a new planet, to start a new life.

And I would ask to go with them.

Even if the thought of being away from Lettie, Naíma and Gohan for good tore me apart inside, at least I would leave with the hope that they might have a chance to stay safe. Because maybe the fact that I left would mean that my curse would not be fulfilled and they would not die at the hands of a merciless enemy, right?

I loved them to the point I was willing to leave them behind, so they could be happy without me.

It was the most devastating decision of my life. When I wasn't with them, the only thing I could do was cry, isolated in an inhospitable place, unable to even think about training.

So, for the second time, we gathered in the Capsule Corporation garden to summon Porunga. Lettie didn't know about my departure plan. She was oblivious to any idea I had of abandoning her, but she gave me a sad smile at the prospect of saying goodbye to the other Namekians, who created a very special bond of affection with this kind Saiyan woman and her baby during the time they spent together.

After Porunga appeared in the skies, Dende made the first two wishes: to bring back Chiaotzu and Tien. I admit it was an emotional moment. Somehow, I think I saw in those two warriors a relationship very similar to the one I had with Gohan.

The Grand Elder Guru of my people gave a gratitude speech for all the care and hospitality they received. Then, Dende said goodbye to Gohan and Naíma. It broke my heart to see those three children deeply saddened as they farewell each other. Even Naíma, as little as she was, seemed to understand the situation and cried, softly, in her mother's arms.

After that, Dende went to the great Porunga to make the wish.

It was now or never. It had to be quick, otherwise I wouldn't be able to do it.

"Dende?" I took a step forward. My pulse was racing.

"Huh?" He turned to me, confused. "Yes, Mr. Piccolo?"

I opened my mouth to speak…

Say it! Just say, "I want to go with you to the new planet!" Just do it!

But nothing came out.

I froze. The words disappeared.

"Mr. Piccolo?" repeated Dende. "Is something wrong?"

Everyone looked at me. Lettie, especially.

QUICKLY, PICCOLO!!!

"I… uh…" I scratched the back of my head. "I just... uh... I just wanted to wish… have a safe journey." And I returned to Lettie's side, head down.

NO!!!

Too late.

Dende gave me a kind smile and finally made the wish to Porunga. Five seconds later, all the Namekians disappeared.

I let out a long, tired sigh and felt Lettie touch my arm.

"Hey... Are you okay? I didn't imagine you would be so sad about Dende's departure..." She gave me a sad smile. "I am too, but don't worry. I'm sure he will be happy. Who knows, maybe he'll even come visit us in the future?"

Well… At least, Lettie was still oblivious to the real reason for my dejection. In response, I could only nod with a little smile at her. But in my head, the only voice I heard was that of my Enemy, "You really are a weak, a coward."

Maybe he was, indeed, right.

The next month went like the previous ones; Lettie continued teaching her classes, Naíma continued growing, Gohan continued studying and spending his weekends with us, and I… continued to be immersed in a deep disturbance.

Until the day came. Which, from there on, it would make my worries only increase, I would feel that my horrifying nightmare was closer to becoming reality, and I would fear for the lives of those I loved.

The presence of a Ki approached the Earth. But it wasn't Goku's Ki, as we expected. It was an evil Ki, from the last person that would cross our minds:

Frieza.