I'm Sorry

"Dad, who was that?" Wen Muchen couldn't help but say as Wen Fei led him down to the carpark to his car. Even though he had just experienced peer pressure and bullying, with his throat and stomach deeply uncomfortable as a result, his eyes were inquisitive and bright, eager to know. "What did he drop? Was it bad?"

Wen Fei glances at him silently for a moment of contemplation. It seems both father and son were little gossipy aunties at heart. No wonder they were so close. 

A lot of rich fathers barely talk to their children other than to heap some expectations and feed a bit of chicken soup for the soul*, as well as scold when needed. It can't be helped in some capacity; some are busy working hard, some don't have the heart, and some just simply are awkward and don't know how to handle children. 

*encouragement and good words

To be honest, a good father that didn't overly spoil the child, didn't neglect them when they were young, wasn't narcissistic and full of double standards… well let's just say in general it was difficult to find a nearly perfect father but in the rich circle it was nearly impossible. Wen Fei has experienced a lot and he can say, money can really help buy you happiness but it can't buy you a figurative heart if you don't have one. You can only grow it yourself. 

The original body was different. He was a young father, having Wen Muchen at twenty-two with an older lady he was casually sleeping with at the time. The lady was very beautiful and had a wilful temperament, famous for her wealth and infamous for her personality. Everything she did was because of what she wanted, with little to regards to others.

She picked the original body because he looked good and his mouth was really sweet, picked to go through with the pregnancy because she felt it was a good time and that the original body was not bad, and then left decisively, a week after her body recovered from the birth. To put it nicely, she was bold, independent and an unrestrained woman full of freedom. To put it badly, she was scummy, frivolous and heartless to the extreme.

From what Wen Fei understood, the original actually liked the woman very much, it could be said he was quite besotted. Even though he couldn't accept her leaving for a while, he truly loved Wen Muchen, the only seed of their brief love. Therefore unlike the other fathers of the generation who tended to be more aloof and stern, the young original body was very close to his baby, almost hating that he wasn't an emperor penguin daddy who could hug his child everyday, protecting him from the cold wind and snow. 

He didn't have strong intentions to take over the company, and when he had his child, he was even more determined not to try. After all, the original body had also experienced the neglect of his father, who spent more raising the company than his children and couldn't bear for Wen Muchen to experience the same. 

So unlike many other wealthy working parents, the original body was usually home to accompany his son at least four or five times a week unless it was during the more festive holidays where many banquets were usually arranged to be set upon. And even then, as long as it was appropriate and didn't interrupt Wen Muchen's education, he usually brought the other along with him. 

Not only was he sticky*, but he had a more relaxed and youthful mindset. When the other children of the same age in the Wen family were being disciplined and taught the rules strictly to give the family face, Wen Muchen was playing in the garden with his father, learning the proper table manners with mud pies, sticks and transformers. When other people's parents were comparing better children with their own, Wen Muchen was being comforted with malicious gossip of worse children compared to himself. 

*clingy/close/affectionate

Was it particularly great parenting? No, of course not. The original body's mind and morals were a little crooked and liked spreading rumours and bad things all over, it was difficult to raise someone with a good mindset in such a manner. 

Don't look at how pitiful Wen Muchen was, in order to not get bullied more he would find all sorts of hateful ways to help Wen Huang target others and make their days even worse. To provide more amusement his methods would became even more poisonous and refined as he grew older until he almost indirectly caused a student to commit suicide to escape the rumours and campus violence. His circumstances provoked this, but if the heart wasn't already a little twisted, most people usually wouldn't be able to go this far in response as well. 

But that didn't mean the original didn't try his best with good intentions, and it didn't mean that Wen Muchen grew up unhappy or had any less love for his father. In fact, he was the happiest child in the Wen family, and probably had the best or at least most equal relationship with his dad in that previous group of rich second generations, which was probably in retrospect, the reason why Wen Huang found him so displeasing to the eye. 

The father and son were so close, talked regularly, shared similar interests and traits.. To be honest don't talk about Wen Huang, even he, Wen Fei was a bit envious. 

"You really dare to think of other people's matters," Wen Fei scolds lightly as he not so lightly smacks the other's head angrily, "Focus on yourself! What were you doing there?! Don't you know alcohol can harm the body?! Especially that much, fuck, that amount can probably make an elephant collapse, much less a skinny child like yourself!" 

Thinking of the image, Wen Fei's eyes turn red and he emotionally hits Wen Muchen's head many times. While it wasn't very heavy after multiple hits in around the same spot, it was naturally painful. However Wen Muchen doesn't complain and instead his eyes go red as well. 

"I'm sorry, dad." He whispers. Then, as if this one soft sentence was enough to break something in his mind, he sprung into Wen Fei's side, hugging him tightly and crying loudly, "Wah! I'm sorry dad! I was so scared! Wuwuwu…"

Wen Fei stiffened at the unexpected movement before he exhales a deep sigh before hugging the teenager fiercely, "I'm sorry too, son. I shouldn't have.. I didn't expect Little Huang to be such a little beast! I should've.. Anyway, I'm also sorry. There, there… just cry it out, no one's here anyway."

"Wuwuwu.. I hate Wen Huang! I hate him! I hate him so much! Why!" Wen Muchen sobbed and cried into his father's body, even though they were outside and in public, Wen Muchen just wanted to vent all the grievances in his heart at this moment. Maybe it was the alcohol or maybe it was just the result of too much accumulation unable to be held back or maybe it was just his courage to finally complain, but at this point the teenager just wanted to let everything spill out of his mouth like a flood during a storm. "I never, ah, I never, wu, I never wanted (hiccup) to play with him! I- wuwuwu, but, wu, you kept, (sniff), k-kept pushing me!"

"Yes, yes…" Wen Fei patiently strokes his back just like the original body used to do when his son was a baby, "It was my fault, I regret it. Your father was blind. Your father was foolish. I thought I knew better, I wanted you to be good to Wen Huang so when he took over the company he would help you in the future. Now I see it's my arrogance. I'm so sorry, baby."

"Ergh.. wu.."

Wen Muchen was choking on his own tears and snot, crying so badly he could barely see or walk straight. But even as he was gasping and his voice was shaking and stuttering, he did his best to convey his unhappiness, to stress that he hated dealing with his cousins and how much it hurt being told again and again to ignore it all by the original owner to be friends with them. Especially Wen Huang. 

This was the original owner's fault. But it was also, at its core, a very normal thing many parents have done, and it was difficult to hate the original owner for it. 

Even if he was close to his son, there was still undeniably the gap between father and son, adult and child. As the father or a parent in general, one must teach, guide, and show what is right and wrong. However, parents were also human; they made mistakes and were stubborn, just like forcing a child to do homework until their fingers were numb or scolding their daughter for wearing inappropriate clothes. In their opinion, this was only for the good of the child, and their child's own opinion can be directly ignored as they didn't know any better. 

Sometimes, it works out well; sometimes, it works itself into a tragedy. But despite the results, it is always for the child's sake. With such an intention, it is difficult to blame the parents, just as it's difficult for the parents to realise they were wrong, which will always cause gaps in people's hearts as they grow up. 

The original body was also like this. He was so sure this was the best way he ignored or brushed away his son's complaints, constantly pushing Wen Muchen to play with Wen Huang, to be more understanding to the fake Wen daughter, and to learn to deal with their attitudes. If Wen Muchen was hit, it was just kids playing. If Wen Muchen said that the fake daughter took his toy, it was a case of learning to share and be more considerate. If Wen Muchen said he didn't like his cousins, the original would either scold him for his attitude or be disappointed that he couldn't understand the big picture.

Was the original distressed when his beloved son was hurt? Of course, he was. But to the original body, it was still a small matter between children, and he was confident that when things paid off, Wen Muchen would be grateful for being pushed like this. After all, it was just enduring a little bit, and the later half of Wen Muchen's life would be smooth under his cousin's protection.

However, there was no gratitude or blessings in the end, just endless regret. 

Even if this was the original body's fault, now that Wen Fei was the original body, of course, he will do his best to remedy this.

"You were right, baby; I was wrong." Wen Fei squeezes the young boy who is sobbing his heart out and kisses the top of his head, "You did so good; it was Wen Huang who was bad. We don't need to be nice to him anymore."

And the first step was to sincerely apologise.

"I'm sorry."