Should I fire A Volley Of Our Kinetic Artillery?

"Push! Push! Push!"

Roared my eight-foot-tall give or take a few centimeters, various degrees of albinism soldiers.

They were dressed in black skintight short-sleeved T-shirts that were soaked in sweat, testosterone, and male pheromones with yellow "EINHERJAR" words printed on the front and back.

I exerted all my strength, pushing the neutronium bar made from the same alloy as our mechanical exoskeletons that were considered a level 5 alloy.

With plates that reached a combined weight of ten tons upward.

The Einherjars armor belt was made from plasteel alloy that only reached a level 3.

My muscles strained and screamed in agony as my caterpillars kept bursting apart, and microtears formed all over my arms.

However, my nanites worked tirelessly, immediately patching up the damage.

With a final, thunderous roar, I pushed the bar out completely.

Two jacked-as-f*ck marines quickly grabbed the bar from both sides, helping me secure it in place.

I stood up and for a brief moment, I blacked out, but my AI swiftly brought me back with an additional dose of synthetic stimulants released by my cybernetic implants allowing me to straigthen up before my knees hit the floor.

I quickly looked up at the gyms holographic board only to see that my name had replaced the first place.

Its already been 6 months since we left port, and apart from stopping at Elven Starports to resupply, we spent all the time in hyperspace. The planet that we needed to defend was only six solar systems away yet our first-level hyperspace engine, and Ion thrusters that were level 2 technology could only go so fast.

"Tch! As soon as I have the points Im buying a subspace drive"

I muttered to myself as I went to the treadmill which was another aspect of the physical competition we were running to pass the time.

Among others such as precision firing competitions, CQC, and any other aspect we could come up with to compete.

After all, all of my soldiers were males, and there were no females so we had to really on the virtual p*rn the ships AI pirated off from the galactic net which featured a wide range of xeno actresses that were straight out of fantasy books.

Of course, I could have included females in my crew but who the f*ck wants to see eight feet tall women with gorilas muscles? I sure as hell don't! So only males are the way to go.

I thought as I got on a treadmill and started running, we didn't include a marathon because before any of us taped out everyone else would die of boredom.

Gradually the treadmills AI increased the speed to 100 kilometers per hour, I managed to hold out for an hour until I blacked out and got thrown off from the treadmill in a sorry fashion.

Luckily there were no females around so I didn't have to start doing pushups after waking up to save myself from embarrassment.

Once again the holographic board got updated with me claiming the first place, after all I was the commander so If I lost to my soldiers, I couldn't possibly have the face to order them around.

Suddenly the ship shuddered, feeling this I knew that we finally existed hyperspace, the ship's AI quickly informed me of this fact.

Commander, we have exited hyperspace, we are currently in the Elvion system, should I set the course for the Alve prime?

My AI asked inside my mind.

Do it and notify me then we reach the planet's orbit.

I gave my orders as I dragged my body to the gym's shower.

...

An elvan officer straight from one of Elven military academies, was looking at the starports radar sensors, his shift was almost over so at this point he could barely keep his eyes open.

Suddenly the rooms lightning changed to ominous red as alarm sirens started blaring, the elve immediately sobered up as he glued his eyes to the radar.

Only to almost die from a heart attack, because from the readings he was getting, a titan class warship just exited hyperspace and was on direct course to Alve prime.

The truth of the matter was that Einherjar wasn't a Titan class warship but a super heavy battleship but because of its size It got categorised as a Titan.

And a Titan was an absolute monster that could destroy an entire fleet on its own, even though Einherjar wasn't really a Titan they're garrison fleet didn't stand a chance either way if they decided to duck it out.

The same thing happened then Einherjar was just a system away from the Elvan starport where Dracula had sealed the deal.

But luckily the starport was equipped with gravitic sensors unlike these obsolete ones that only encompased their solar system so the officials quickly cleared up the misunderstanding after contacting the cruise ships captain and Dracula.

The elven officer quickly contacted his superior, causing the entire elvan military in Elvion to report to their stations as the admiral hastily scrambeled the garrison fleet.

...

What the f*ck are these elves idiots or what? Didnt I and fatso already inform them ahead of time that we will be arriving to help them defend their world from the orcs?

I couldn't help but curse In my mind while looking at the holographic projection of the elvan garrison fleet on intercept course.

"For f*cks sake hail their commander already otherwise these idiots will start shooting soon"

I gave the order while massaging my temples promting my communications officer to hail the elvan fleet on all possible frequencies.

After a few minutes the other side finally accepted the call, soon the holographic projection of an ancient looking elve who should be rotting 6 feet deep in the ground already dressed in a fancy and exquisite green space uniform appeared.

"State your identity and business at once!"

The elvan admiral demanded his tone full of contempt and disgust.

I couldn't help but pick my ear, It seemed like the elvan commanders brain had rotted away long ago, the best they had was a derelict cruiser which was using level two technologies at best.

Yet I got the impression that the commander was actually assured of his victory if we engaged in a space battle.

"Should I fire a volley of our kinetic artillery?"

I couldn't help but mutter to myself only for the ships AI to materialize next to me.

"Commander I do not recommend It, such an action would violate our contract and designate us as rogue elements in the eyes of the Galactic Council."

My ships AI advised me, reminding me of the potential consequences.

Taking a deep breath, I addressed the Elvan commander in my usual emotioneless tone.

"I am Dracula the commander of the mercenary vessel Einherjar. We have been contracted to assist in the defense of your planet from the orc invasion, you should have been already informed of our arrival beforehand by me and my employer"

I explained while staring at the aging elvan commander with my eyes devoid of any warmth which should have frightened any normal person to death yet the fossil seemed to be completely unaffected.

"Huh? A merc? Its the first time Im hearing of it!"

The genuinely surprised elvan commander blurted out, just as I was ready to snap the Elvan commanders neck with my telekenisis the elvan XO stepped forward.

"My lord, we did receive the notifications, and I had forwarded them to you"

The elvan XO whispered softly, but It didn't escape my augmented hearing.

Motherf*cker the old c*nt actually forgot!

I couldn't help but curse with dark lines all over my face as I watched the elvan commander confirm the XOs words.

"Alright, you check out, mercenary,"

The Elvan commander conceded, seemingly unfazed by his earlier lapse in memory.

"Now come aboard my flagship. We need to discuss you're deployment."

Hearing this my temples started pulsating madly, It was evident that the fossil was a nobleman, and It seemed like his title got to his head, but who the f*ck was I?

I was a goddamn grim reaper that has seen civilizations rise and fall, a peasent or a nobleman even galactic empeross where all the same in my eyes, they all pleaded to spare them just before I reaped their souls.

For f*cks sake I had reaped entire galaxies at once, because an idiot decided to create a black hole or unleashed xeno horrors on their galaxies that eradicated all life.

"Youre eminance I propose a visit to Einherjar, this ship is actually a relic of a fallen empire, I think you would be delighted to inspect it"

I proposed with the best fake bootlicking tone I could come up with and frankly I was quite good at it after all I have courted Death Itself for entire hundred thousand years and she was the toughest nut I didn't manage to crack yet.

"Oh a relic of a fallen empire you say?"

The elven commander said as his eyes videned with curiosity.

"XO prepare my shuttle!"