H'el's words struck Jor-El like a thunderbolt to the heart.
Civilians?
After residing in Krypton's upper echelons for so long, who cared about civilians?
In Krypton's society, the upper echelons represented Krypton itself!
If the upper echelons of Krypton were corrupt, it meant all of Krypton was corrupt!
When Jor-El made his plans, he hadn't considered the civilians at all. Using the anti-matter engine to save civilians? This thought had never crossed Jor-El's mind. After all, when the upper echelons of Krypton had been corrupted, it signified Krypton's doom.
There was no point in saving civilians. It wasn't even a thought in his mind. His plan to preserve Krypton had nothing to do with civilians. Even if the anti-matter engine could have saved all of Krypton's civilian population, he never gave it a second thought. He was too wrapped up in the pride and honor of Krypton's upper class, confident in his righteousness, moral correctness, and the firm belief that only his natural-born son had the capability to save Krypton.
He never considered the possibility of saving civilians, even as a fleeting thought. That's why his plan to preserve Krypton had nothing to do with them. It wasn't that civilians weren't worth anything; it was that they never factored into his thoughts. So, when H'el questioned him about saving civilians, Jor-El was completely taken aback.
He was proud of his position in Krypton's upper class, and his sense of righteousness, justice, and moral correctness blinded him to any other perspectives. He believed wholeheartedly that only his natural-born son had the power to continue Krypton's legacy.
No one was better at hiding their true selves than Jor-El. He couldn't even recognize the deep-seated selfishness within himself. When H'el exposed that selfishness, Jor-El still refused to acknowledge it. He believed in the class division on Krypton, the corruption in its upper echelons, the genetic constraints placed on Kryptonians by their natural abilities, and the overall sense of despair that engulfed their society. All these factors led him to conclude that Krypton's survival wasn't necessary.
But he also knew he didn't have the right to decide the fate of all Kryptonians, lest he become a dictator like H'el. He couldn't deny the selfishness in his past actions. Even if he had used the anti-matter engine to save tens of thousands, even thousands, or even just hundreds of Kryptonians, he could have argued that he had done his best. No one could have accused him because he truly would have tried to save them.
But the harsh reality was that he hadn't saved anyone.
In the end, the head that H'el had been stepping on seemed numb. Jor-El lowered his eyelids, looking at the cold ground so close by, and said with sorrow,
"I'm just a father."
This was the only excuse he could find for his selfishness. At the time, he had only cared about his son and hadn't paid any attention to anything else on Krypton. From stealing the Life Codex, modifying the anti-matter engine spacecraft, to ensuring his son's safe birth, he had ignored both the civilians and the upper echelons of Krypton.
Any father being selfish for the sake of their child was natural, justifiable, and beyond reproach.
"Aren't I your son? Father?"
H'el, looking down at Jor-El's head, revealed a cruel smile.
He had stripped away the layer of righteousness, light, hope, kindness, and charity that Jor-El had draped himself in, exposing the extreme selfishness and darkness within his heart. He wanted Jor-El to acknowledge his own darkness and follow his dark inner desires completely. This was the greatest revenge he could inflict on him.
The family that proclaimed hope for Krypton was, in reality, its greatest darkness.
Jor-El continued to struggle and tremble in his futile attempts to free himself. His sorrowful eyes quickly turned into furious, ferocious ones. He shouted angrily, "Shut up!"
Sending H'el into exile in space, stealing the Life Codex, infusing it into Kal-El's body, and using the anti-matter engine to bring Kal-El to Earth—comparing how he treated H'el and how he treated Kal-El now that he remembered it all filled Jor-El with unbearable pain and anger.
H'el was his son too, so why had he treated him this way?
Because H'el was adopted.
Even if he had piled up over thirty technological inventions on himself, promoted himself to the position of vice dean, and made the El family many times richer, what did it matter? He was just an adoptee, no different from others who joined the El family, merely seeking to bask in the glory of the El family.
Just an adoptee.
Kal was different; he was his biological son. Even if Kal didn't want to rebuild Krypton and became a superhero on Earth, it didn't matter as long as his son was happy. That's what made a father's love truly great!
Realizing the extreme selfishness within himself and that he wasn't as righteous, kind, and hopeful as he pretended to be, Jor-El was filled with anger.
"Reducing everything in the past to 'I'm just being a father for my son.' Then you plan to secretly harbor guilt, regret, and pain in your heart, and then protect your son in the name of a father. All the destruction of Krypton turns into just one phrase: 'I'm just a father.' Then it all vanishes. Is that what you want?" H'el's cruel smile became even more satisfying.
He never once accused Jor-El of being selfish but exposed Jor-El's true nature, revealing his actions and making him fully aware of his own character.
Jor-El's eyes turned fierce, his teeth gnashed, and he trembled with anger all over. He growled from deep within his throat, "What do you want to do, H'el? Deny your own father?"
"Shouldn't Krypton have been destroyed? That kind of Krypton, it should all have perished! No one understood the true nature of Krypton better than me! No one wanted Krypton to survive in that state! That kind of Krypton should have been destroyed long ago!"
"Then you, who stole the Life Codex, have you started rebuilding Krypton?"
"I won't let my son step into that despairing Krypton society again!" Jor-El gritted his teeth and declared with determination.
During the time he had spent watching Kal-El grow, he had deeply understood the despair of Krypton's society compared to the hope that Earth provided for his son. He supported his son becoming a superhero and would never let Krypton's constraints hold him back again.
"Have you abandoned Krypton, Jor-El?" H'el shouted.
"Let Krypton disappear!" Jor-El closed his fierce eyes and said painfully.
"You asked me what I wanted to do, right? I saved Kandor City, I saved seven million people in Kandor City, including your mother, Nimda, who has been acting haughty until she went mad! I don't want to do anything! I just want to tell you: You don't represent all of Krypton! I just want the people of Krypton to judge you and your actions!"
H'el's face was stern and arrogant as he looked down. His deep voice reverberated throughout the Fortress of Solitude. "Right now, seven million people are watching you!"
"No!"
Jor-El opened his eyes wide, shouted in shock, and his entire robotic body trembled. A surge of electronic information wave-driven willpower separated from this mechanical body.
°°°
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