Guilty Pleasure

We had fueled up halfway through our shift and taken a much-needed lunch break. Crystal and I walked toward the mess hall and just sat in silence. I needed caffeine, and fast. I put my elbows on the table and rested my head on my palm, closing my eyes and just breathing slowly. I was queasy by the smell of the mess hall; it was filled with the scent of sweat mixed with burnt food and smoke from the grill, and occasionally the smell of vomit. I pushed through the feeling by breathing through my mouth whenever possible. The coffee would be coming out soon. Not many personnel were on the decks at this time, but they still had a few staff available for us. Just as I was thinking about coffee, I heard them bring out the self-serve liter pumps. I opened my eyes looking at it, wishing I had telekinesis right about now to bring the device to me. Crystal watched and let out a small giggle knowing what I wanted, she got up from the table and walked towards the coffee dispenser. She grabbed two cups, filling them to the brim with the disgusting bean water. I hated the taste of coffee, but I didn't care, I needed the caffeine. I took it black since the sugar and cream had not arrived on the table yet. Crystal on the other hand decided to wait, thankfully, she wasn't waiting long.

"Thank you," I whispered to her as she set it in front of me. We preferred our lunch breaks quietly because we reserved talking for the cockpit. We generally held constant communication while in the plane. It was helpful to our teamwork, how we worked in enemy fire, and when we were being targeted, all of which was dependent on being a cooperative team. The guys around here could learn a thing or two from our example. We worked 12-hour shifts for 3 days a week and then the other pilots took over for the remainder of the week. The hours were brutal, but we made do seeing as we had the least seniority for bidding our preferred schedule. We technically didn't have to fly for the entirety of our shift, but it was helpful to have eyes in the sky as much as possible. I slowly sipped my coffee, taking in the tranquility for the next hour.

When the hour was up, we headed back to the plane. I quickly did my preflight, making sure nothing was out of sorts. I hopped in Crystal following my lead as I checked the flight controls, electronic displays, pitot-static system, and analog instruments. Crystal continued her flows and checks and I waited for her to be ready, I hopped back out of the plane and did a 360-degree walk around just to make sure we didn't have any other blatant issues. When I hopped back in, Crystal was ready to go. I made sure to strap my helmet back on my head and tell the ground crew we were ready to go before I started the engines. They hooked us back up to the catapults and brought up the blast pad. When I saw the thumbs-up, I heard ATC in my ear.

"Reaper, you're cleared for take-off. Have fun out there." I heard them say.

"Cleared for take-off, we'll be departing to the Northwest," I told them. I pushed the throttles fully forward and prepared for the bumpy ride off the runway. When we were airborne, I happily turned us to heading 320, climbing up to around 6,000ft. When we got away from the ship around 81 miles away Doe radioed into the ship.

"Mustang, we'll be bearing 140 at 81 miles starting some aerobatics." She told them. Our routine was expected.

"Roger Doe, we'll keep you updated if we spot any activity. Your partners are to the North about 20 miles out from you." They told her.

"I have them on radar, thank you." Doe said to ATC. I got us up a bit higher before I started doing anything. Once we were at around 10,000 ft I threw on the afterburner and started doing rolling turns while descending. Once we got to 3,000 ft. I pulled us vertical and climbed up back up to 10,000, once there I turned off our burner and flipped us backward, descending and doing loops as we did so. After this, we flew inverted for a bit.

"What's the plan here Reaper?" I heard Doe ask after a few minutes went by of us hanging upside down. I rolled the plane back over, so we weren't hanging by our straps.

"Just thinking," I told her.

"What about?" She asked.

"I wanted to get some practice landings in, but we're on an aircraft carrier where that's impossible to do since we have the tailhook. I miss landing on an actual runway built for touch and go's," I told her.

"I miss it too. But I'm enjoying the sea too, our days off feel like a vacation when we get our swims in the ocean... Or playing with the boys on the flight deck with the catapults and football." She giggled a little, a fond memory coming through. I nodded, brushing off the need to respond. After doing a couple more tricks and maneuvers, we ran some recovery flows.

At around 5:45 am, I decided it was time to get back to the ship. I brought us down to 1,000 feet when we were in the 10-mile range.

"Mustang, this is Reaper we're inbound 10 miles from the North, full stop," I told them wanting this night to end as soon as possible. I heard our partner plane land a few minutes before us.

"Copy Reaper, we have you in sight. You're cleared to land, contact approach." They said handing me off to the other frequency.

"Approach, Reaper," I said to them, knowing they didn't need any other information.

"Reaper, you're three-quarters of a mile out, call the ball." I heard them say as we got closer to the ship. I kept the plane descending easily, putting my flaps in as necessary.

"I have the ball," I told them as I glided the plane down, following glide path lights, and flaring at the perfect time. I felt our wheels hit the deck before I felt our tailhook catch the third arresting wire. The force of the plane being pulled backward shocked me into life, if you weren't expecting it, this action could give you serious whiplash. Then we stopped, I shut down the engines and opened the canopy.

"Hey, you two!! Stinger would like a word." I rolled my eyes, what could he possibly want now at 6 am? I unclipped my helmet from my chin and pulled it off my head. That's when Maverick and Goose came waltzing up to us.

"Reaper, Doe. Hey, how're you guys doing after your night flying adventures?" Maverick greeted us, his enthusiasm could kill me. I rolled my eyes as I collected my things out of the small space. I shoved my flight bag on my back and my helmet underneath my arm as I moved to get down the ladder. I started going down and my foot slipped on the third rung. I braced for a hard fall on the tarmac, but the hit never came. I felt arms beneath my figure and Maverick's eyes on me. My brown eyes met his hazel, and I couldn't help but smile softly. I heard Goose clear his throat and Maverick quickly snapped back into reality and set me on my own feet.

Maverick and I had a colorful past in fact we competed quite frequently. I wouldn't have even considered us acquaintances during that time period. Since we started overlapping shifts, we'd been becoming quite decent friends. We helped each other out with our pre-flights if we got back early, we studied together, and truth be told even though I despised his egotistical attitude, I did enjoy his company. He was perhaps one of my best friends, which is somewhere I never thought we would be.

"You think you can manage it back to your quarters?" He joked with me, brushing off the awkwardness his RIO had created.

"You're a fucking prick you know that?" I told him, pausing, knowing that I couldn't leave the conversation this way.

"Regardless of my mood... I hope there's clear skies for you and no further issues with Cougar." I told him, starting to walk away.

"You didn't hear?" Goose asked us curiously. I spun around unhappily, looking up at the man.

"Hear what? We've been in the plane all night except for our lunch." Doe said sarcastically to him. Both of our moods had deteriorated.

"Cougar turned in his wings." He said slowly, I hung my head disappointed.

"Fuck." I quietly but angrily spit out, rubbing my face and clearing my bleary eyes. They all waited in silence. I wasn't in the plane anymore; I was allowed to feel my damn emotions and not store them in a box on a shelf. Besides, after my previous partner aircraft I was allowed to be upset. My past had a way of giving me intense moments of PTSD.

"I knew he was shaken up, but I figured he'd move past it like we all do. The first time it happens you either don't let it happen again and learn from it, or you quit. Fuck!" I exclaimed again. Goose looked at me with sympathy.

"Maeve, you did the best you could. I think he was just too far gone. When he got back, he said he couldn't stop thinking about his wife and kid. He couldn't imagine putting them through his death. He knew if he froze like that again it would kill him and his RIO." He told me putting his hand on my shoulder. I nodded, sucking in a breath of air and looking up at him.

"Thanks, Goose," I said as he removed his hand. I pulled my hair from its bun, which had loosened during the day's events, I felt my hair fall onto my back in a low ponytail.

"Okay boys, safe flying," I told them as I made my move to get out of there and talk to Stinger. Maverick's fingers grazed my back as we brushed past each other, the simple gesture would have been missed by both our RIOs, but I knew, he knew what I was feeling towards the Cougar situation. I made my way to the lockers and threw my keys for the plane, flight bag, and helmet inside it. Then slammed it shut,

"Ready Crystal?" I asked her still facing the locker.

"Yeah, let's go." She said as I heard her locker shut. I let her walk out first and followed her down the hallway. We walked down the length of the deck and up the stairs to the offices. Crystal knocked on the door three times.

"Come in." I heard Stinger's gravelly voice ring out. Crystal pushed the door open, we walked in slowly, saluting to him as we did so.

"At ease, sit down both of you." He said we did as he requested.

"That was an incredibly brave thing you did last night Maeve; I'm thoroughly impressed with the way you handled the situation. Before you came along this group needed some serious glue. Come to find out a few months later, you're it..." He took a breath.

"Thank you, sir," I thanked him appreciating the compliment.

"I'm not done. We had a team drop out of their slot to Top Gun. They're letting me fill the slot. Since Cougar turned in his wings, I figured that was the only slot this squadron would get. But now I have two, I want you guys to take the second one." My breathing hitched in my throat, this was an amazing opportunity, and the excitement renewed my energy.

"I apologize in advance sir, but who received the other slot?" Crystal asked speaking out of term, Stinger waved off the apology.

"You will be joined by Maverick and Goose." He said to us. She nodded at the news, I could tell she was holding back her true emotions. I stood up taking in the information.

"Thank you, sir." We thanked him for the opportunity.

"Get some sleep, I'll send Maverick and Goose to collect you two when they leave in the evening. And ladies?" He stopped.

"Yes sir?" I asked him as Crystal joined me in heading toward the door.

"Do us proud." He smirked, and I smiled back.

"Of course, sir," Crystal said to him, before we walked out the door and started to celebrate, whooping, and cheering all the way.