Chapter 00: Well, okay I guess

Out of all the clichés that I could've encountered, this has to be the most cliché of all.

I died.

Death is a common place, that's a given, it happens every day, every second and every hour somewhere in the world. No one is exempt from it. No one can escape it. Science can only do so much before life runs out of you, death is natural and is just a part of the cycle of things.

Though thankfully, my death wasn't a cliché one, rather, what happened right after.

And yes, you've read it right, to 'what happened right after'.

I died and got reborn.

Lucky, right?

Nope, not lucky na-ah, Wrong! Absolutely Wrong with a capital W, I have the worst luck out of all the departed souls, it's absolute crap I tell you.

Having a new life is nice and dandy and all, but to answer why am I talking trash at my astronomical luck?

Well… for starters, I got reborn with my mind intact and not just that. I got it since I was swimming in amniotic fluids, in the dark, in a cramped space where I kept bumping into my fellow parasite. I'm not exactly complaining about the long ass time I spent in the dark in a cramped space, I'm pretty cool with those kinds of places for an antisocial person like me, I love them. I adore them. One large complain at the given situation is that―

'I FUCKING REMEMBER THE EXPERIENCE IN GOING OUT OF THE BIRTH CANAL!'

Do you all know how terrifying that experience is?!

It was mentally scarring and it almost made me a claustrophobe, no wonder why babies cry when they get out of their safe space, they cry because that shit was nightmare fuel. Not to mention that my mind is very, very, very aware of where I'm coming out of. Very much aware that I am coming out of some woman's cavern.

'I wish I had a brain bleach with me right now just so that I can forget it.'

Also, remember the thing with a fellow parasite? Yeah, I didn't exactly come alone in this world. I came in with my baby bro – according to them he's a boy at least – who followed me right after I got out.

'Damn everything's all blurry.'

"She's so beautiful. And my son is too cute. They're both so beautiful."

'Gee, I wonder if she's telling the truth, but at least she loves us.'

I tried squinting really hard but all I got was a pale blue, something glowing and something murky. It doesn't give me anything whatsoever, no clue and no anything. Guess I don't have magical baby eyes or anything. But the woman holding us is warm, her heartbeat calming in my ears, almost making me forget about the birthing process and the breastfeeding. Too bad it was only almost.

But there is certainly one thing I could grasp from this situation.

"They're both perfect." The woman – mother? – spoke tiredly, voice hoarse but the awe in it is undeniable.

She truly loves us. This is a mother's love.

'Mothers who truly love their children will always view them as perfect. No matter what size or shape they came in, they will always be beautiful and perfect in their eyes. But hopefully, I will be average at best.'

I was average. Average height, average build though a little on the skinnier side, lightly tanned skin, and like any other Asian, had dark hair and dark brown eyes. My nose was slightly flat and big for my face, with moles that funnily enough, make a diagonal line across it like a kiddy connect the dots. One below my lips on the left side, a small almost unnoticeable one near my left nostril and lastly, directly at the corner of my right eye that almost blended in with my unusually thick long – for male standards – lashes and underside lashes. The only thing I could proudly say that was above average in my features were my eyes, eyes that are wide and cat-like according to my workmates.

And with this key feature and my shoulder length wavy hair, I was often quite mistaken to be a woman. My androgynous sounding voice didn't help my case either and often got me called out in public toilets.

(A reason why I don't like using them, other than having been used by different people. Urk, some people are plain disgusting you know, and public toilets are some of the places they choose to be disgusting with.)

Can't a man just simply have long hair without getting his sexuality and gender questioned? Can I not get harassed for it? So what if I'm queer or whatever, it doesn't make me any less of a human! Can I just get a compliment or an insult from it? Just say that it's ugly and be done with it, I'm not here to listen about another societal, religious or sexuality rant. There's no need to repeat what other people have already ranted about, just say that I look ugly or nice with it, or better yet kindly mind your own Goddamn business 'cause I do not give a flying crap about your opinion anyway. Just shut up and I'd be much happier with you.

The misunderstandings are annoying at best, mildly entertaining and sometimes, I don't even bother to correct.

Ahhh… good ol' existential crisis. I do not miss you for giving me so much migraines whilst I was but an angsty nine-year-old. Good thing baby bro is a quiet one or I don't know what I'll do. He quieted down as soon as he gained contact to a nipple. He's one hungry young potato.

'Cursed these damned blurred eyes. I know that realistically speaking, babies wouldn't have clear vision until a few months old. But in all those isekai reincarnation mangas the baby somehow had clear vision, why the hell can't I have that oh so cliché ability?'

Thinking about it, those babies probably have something in their blood or the author just doesn't know how a baby's development works.

And that's why you do research people, so you would just look like an idiot but, not be an actual idiot. There's a difference of looking like one and being one.

But as much as this blurry vision is annoying, it is also a good sign that I might be reborn somewhere in the same universe where the tongue spoken is British English.

Thank God if that was the case.

But for now, I'm really sleepy. I'll freak out later about my death when I've got the fucking energy to do so.

I'll freak out that I suddenly got reincarnated as a girl somehow, but as I slowly drift off one thought struck my mind.

'How the fuck do I even refer to myself as anymore?'