webnovel

Bros Before Hoes

The stage is set. The bet is in place. Two men lock eyes with the intent of bringing the other one down with nothing but their fists. And Jackal won't be the one to fall as Maria sat on the ground around him like the children, Take's familia included.

Take himself stands to the side and acts as a referee while Jackal graciously gives Ouka a way out, "Are you sure, Ouka? If you lose the spar, you'll be on the cleaning duty of the orphanage... these kids can be messy. As opposed to your loss... the consequences of my loss are nothing."

All Jackal wants is one-on-one training with Take. He feels that's the best use of his time but the world doesn't revolve around his feelings. Ouka seems plenty reluctant about Take taking the stage just yet and 'lured' Jackal with a bet.

Ouka loses— he cleans the orphanage, shit and all for a month!

Jackal loses— he must complete the basic practices with other children of the familia before moving on to the next stage which is Take.

So... yeah, Jackal loses out on nothing. But the bet excited others nonetheless. They circled and sat quickly, eager to watch one of the well-known cliches of adventurers play themselves out in front of their eyes.

"I admit that you're strong," Ouka speaks with determination, "But bare-handed combat relies as much on technique as it does on strength. And I believe that even if my strength is a bit worse compared to yours, you still have a lot to learn."

"I know... that's why I hired you guys as my trainers..." Jackal emphasizes sassily alongside a deadpan at the youth before shrugging, "Oh, well, who am I to turn down a good brawl?"

He takes a casual position, unlike Ouka. Then again... without proper training, a casual position, and the strategy of going with the flow is all Jackal can come up with. That's what a fistfight is, right? You block and evade before fucking up the enemy.

The duo quietly approaches each other before Ouka snaps downward with his leg sweeping at Jackal's feet which catches Jackal off-guard but he bounces back easily and wobbles a bit theatrically and tilts back once again as Ouka's leg sweeps up to ax down on him.

And there's his chance!

Jackal's fist moves but he takes pity on the youth and opens his palm before slapping the shit out of Ouka's nuts that are left unprotected right in front of him.

"Ugh..." It takes a moment for Ouka to register what transpired. The injury to the nuts never snaps off to the brain instantly, no. The body numbs for a moment as if hoping that it's phantom pain— something that will disappear. But it doesn't. It feels like your sac is experiencing nausea. Then the will to live stops and the knees quiver. A person can still keep standing but gently letting their sac nuzzle against their thighs as they fall to their knees is the best solution.

And Ouka falls to his knees.

"My win~!" Jackal shrugs, snapping others out of their stupor.

"Shameless!" The other two boys of Take's familia cry out.

"Not really," Jackal shrugs, "Oh, and if you all challenge me, fair warning— I even slice the clothes away so be careful, yeah?"

"What?" This alarms the girls while Maria interjects, "He did it once... to a female adventurer who had been cruel to Lili."

"But... that's... that's dishonorable!" Mikoto frowns, her tiny and thick brows bunch together in a scowl as her short lips pucker up in displeasure.

"Is it?" Jackal looks at Takemikazuchi who sighs and looks at Ouka, "It is unusual... but a weak point is a weak point."

"Alright! So, what will I be learning today?"

*Thud*

Jackal questions as Ouka quietly lies on the ground in defeat. Too stunned and ashamed to move or speak.

Hey, Jackal tried to give him a way out.

Adopting a stern expression, Take shakes his head, "We will not be learning in the form of courses. Everyone has different needs and manners of teaching. Fortunately, I can differentiate between these needs. Lili needs an actual course that helps her get used to her techniques and then spar with others. Usually, that's how everyone learns. But..."

Take hesitates and then looks at the matron, "Martel-san, can we get this space for ourselves?"

Pursing her lips reluctantly, Maria thinks for a moment and then questions, "Can I stay?"

"You can, but not the children. Chigusa, and Asuka, tuck the children into bed. They need rest after their exercises. Kon, Ichiya, drag Ouka sideways."

Takemikazuchi's commands are easily met. Even the usually unruly children do not refute his order. Already experienced with an orphanage before, the first thing Take did after coming here was to establish a dominant, unquestionable position while acceding to many of Maria's requests to give the children the impression that their matron is an even bigger boss.

Kids are impressionable like this.

As the kids leave while Ouka is helped to sit up, Takemikazuchi looks at Jackal seriously, "As I was saying, courses and training for technique first and then sparring... you may consider this as an easier approach. But after understanding the motives behind your recent actions... I don't believe this is the right path for you."

"I will teach you nothing but battles. I will use different weapons. I will use many techniques I know. I will aim for your weakest plays and defenses every time and injure you. I will wound you till you learn not to leave such openings unchecked. So, this will be a bloody affair, something I can sense you don't mind. And that is also why... it cannot take place on these grounds."

Jackal works his jaws while digesting the information.

"So... unlike me, learning from my mistakes against monsters as I have till now... I'll do the same against you. Fair. But you won't go easy, right?"

"I will try my best to aim at your crotch, too," Takemikazuchi smiles kindly.

This smile only promises pain and anguish. His future children will shudder when they see Take smile like this but Jackal grins, "Okay, how about we train in the open fields north of Orario?"

"That will be adequate. But for now, we can spar with our fists," Takemikazuchi walks forward with his hands behind his back.

Now...

Jackal knows that a master is gonna mess up the opponent when they walk with hands behind their back.

And Jackal already had a taste of Takemikazuchi earlier to see if he was really a good fighter.

*Thump*

"Ack! Woah—"

He tries to dodge when a leg swiftly slams into his chest as Jackal covers his crotch. This only made Takemikazuchi use the previous heel strike snapping down as a way to cut his defenses away before landing a swift jab on his neck.

"Khak—!" He chokes and stumbles back while trying to breathe in a hurry. This time... Takemikazuchi keeps his word. He doesn't go easy one bit.

A kick bends his knee and a knee knocks him back on his butt with blood gushing out from his nostrils. His eyes unconsciously water up while he still cannot breathe but Takemikazuchi finds this time to convey a good lesson.

"Don't focus on my words. Just because I said I will kick your crotch does not mean you don't have weaker points. Your throat, your nostrils, your eyes, your ears, your nails, your finger, your hair... to an experienced combatant, you are one giant weakness. So, sadly, no one can ever claim they are without any weakness. Not even the gods."

Mikoto, Ouka, Kon, Ichiya, and Maria watch in amazement.

The fact that their patron deity never fought or to be precise… taught them like this brings a wave of envy and simultaneous relief.

"Huuuuuuuu!" Jackal finally breathes in deeply while slowly getting up. Air never felt so precious before.

'Now... I'm no masochist...' his knee still stings. His nose hurts as he wipes away the blood while looking a lot more reserved and careful... but still aggressive.

'But I want to see what takes me down for good!'

That's the point, isn't it? To let pain, wound, and injuries carve him into an experienced combatant.

With that, Jackal steps in. So does Take. His foot plants down harshly on Jackal's as he flinches before an uppercut blasts his face up in a snap. He would have bounced back but Take held his foot down and a swift chop near his ear made Jackal yelp in surprise.

A sharp-pitched squeamish tone rings in his ear without any intention of stopping now as Take smiles and pulls his foot back, letting Jackal fall back once again.

"Still no better, Jackal. But I suppose this should have proved the worth of my experiences. Let's—"

"No Way! Hah!" Jackal gasps and sits up while shaking his head. This world has all sorts of elixirs that can fix him right up. But time... time cannot be recovered.

"One more time!" Jackal bounces on his feet before wobbling a bit, this time, out of necessity as his head spins.

"And this isn't anywhere near the ferocity with which monsters attack!" Jackal stares at Takemikazuchi.

Admiring the mortal's grit while wondering what sorts of abuse the boy has already experienced, the god explains, "That's because monsters are fundamentally different. They can barely hide their intent even if they get smarter. But we... we can make use of feints. Play tricks to the opponent's mind and win battles without raising fists at times. Being as ferocious as a monster will be counterproductive here. You have to face a human and fight like a human. Not a monster. If you continue down that path... you WILL pick a fight with someone unkind... and he will make use of this weakness of yours."

Jackal quietly mulls over it and realizing that Take is only speaking with kind intentions, he agrees.

*Smack*

*Thud*

"Again!"

*Crash!*

*Smash*

*Kchk*

"Gahk— Huff! Again!"

*Bang*

"Damn it! My nuts! Hua... haaa! Again!"

---

'He looks so peaceful while sleeping...' Showered with constant use of the Butterfree Era by an exasperated Lili as she returned to the store promptly after to take care of the business, weary Jackal sleeps on one of the unused mattresses alongside the children.

Takemikazuchi really did tuck every orphan for an afternoon nap before leaving with his familia. Though, Maria still remembers the trace of admiration in the god's expression while all the familia members of his continued to glance at an unconscious and battered Jackal.

'I shouldn't really even feel proud of him... it's not like we...' Maria cuts her thoughts off promptly. She naps with her children in the same hall to be near them if they need her at any moment so finding her own mattress next to Jackal's is simply… inevitable.

What if he wakes up and accidentally disturbs the children sleeping? No, that's not right. So, she must stay near him... not to mention...

'Who knows when he stops returning...'

This is a bitter thought. But Maria has simply lost too many dear ones and as chilling as the thought is... she even feels slightly numb. No doubt she was overjoyed when she saw him this morning but the inevitability of death is not lost on her.

There were times when she tried not to feel anything. She once tried to just look after her children in a dutiful manner and kept a certain apathy around her to block herself from the pain that will eventually test her heart but...

She couldn't. It wasn't fair to the children and... she simply could not find herself blocking her emotions. They would revolt and the outburst of her emotions later would be even worse.

She quietly rests her head on a pillow while dazing off and gazing at the ceiling with no particular thought.

Once again, she tilts her head to look at him.

'With how he kept on standing despite his balance being off... I am worried that he may be even worse in the dungeons. And he used to be a Guild Employee? How?' She lets out a muted sigh. But... even she had to admit. If someone picked a fight for her just because she cried...

'No, how selfish do you want to be? How will picking fights keep him safe? And... it wasn't just Lili's tears, right? She must have kept so much to herself but whatever she revealed is already horrible enough...' Maria's brows sink with sadness.

To be fair, her thoughts have been a mess for some time now.

'And to think he keeps on dreaming of a harem... how will he even handle multiple women?!' She scoffs to herself, 'Given his nature... it would be more like multiple women handling him.'

Maria will realize one thing shortly after— Her ability to imagine things may be as powerful as Loki's.

After all, she didn't know how and when... but she lost herself in a particular train of thought.

'Multiple women... could play different roles. Someone like Rose can act like his silent but elder sister figure... Eina is literally the girl next door cliche I've read in so many ero— ehm, romance novels... Syr would be the playful minx that knows how to make Jackal work the way he should. Lili would be the energetic follower who... w-who would want things anywhere and anytime... maybe behind their counter...'

Her flush deepens as she imagines all sorts of things while violating the purity of [Humble Jackal's] in her fantasy.

'I... not that I would... but I could play a more maternal role... seeing him off, welcoming him home. Warming the bath for him... helping him relax… wait, that's not really a maternal figure is it?' She chews her lips in frustration, 'That's just a wife.'

Not knowing how to vent whatever she is feeling, she reasonably settles down and glares at the man sleeping beside her, 'It's all his and his bento's fault!'

"A... gain..." Jackal stirs and murmurs softly before drifting into his sleep once again. His hand shifts briefly but is nowhere near Maria.

Gazing at his hand... Maria closes her eyes and lets out a soft, groggy groan as she turns to his side and extends her hand. Her heart continues to beat loudly in her chest but everything feels calm when her wrist touches his.

'Touching Jackal while he is sleeping... just what the hell am I doing... but it's just hands... it's alright, right?'

Her lips feel a little dry but her thoughts soon submerge into the nothingness of her subconscious as she drifts into her nap.

---

As usual, proclaiming the unending motions of nature, the sun settles and a pair of ambitious youths who desire to take on Orario in a storm walk out of their store after bidding Maria farewell. They make their way to Miach's to get the empty boxes only for Naaza to reveal a piece of similarly disheartening news.

Like [Humble Jackal's], [Blue Pharmacy] is also listed as a private store that pays rent to Miach Familia to exist on their property. A guild member approached Naaza in the morning and listed the same options to her.

It's the goods that are being regulated not the stores themselves so the Guild has been lenient despite the recent events.

"Anyway, we won't be purchasing Lust Potions. I don't want those women from the Entertainment District attracting the wrong kind here," Naaza shakes her head and returns the Lust Potions that were unsold.

"Tch, only one sold, huh?" Jackal sighs.

"Yeah…" There is a brief hesitation in Naaza's eyes before she changes the topic abruptly, "If you're going to keep selling Lust Potions, it's better to deliver it to the bordellos than letting them crowd your store. It won't look good with your store near an orphanage and all… not to mention… a few of those amazoness women can be very gross. Especially against children."

Jackal nods, "I'll do that tonight. I have their addresses jotted down so it won't be hard to set something up."

Naaza nods while Lili questions, "Jackal-sama, tonight? Shouldn't we prepare for the dungeon?"

"Hmm, oh, well, I have to go out with Eina and Rose tomorrow, remember? So I'll deal with the prostitutes now, maybe sell another stock of Lust Potions and see if I can get a hang of someone noteworthy there that can handle most of the trade for me."

"A middleman?" Naaza frowns.

"An employee," Jackal grins, "Why would I waste money on a middleman? If I can get an employee who knows his or her way around the Entertainment District then it will be better. Where's Miach?"

Naaza resists the urge to feel defensive. It's an odd sensation. Usually, she would feel like that but… she responds quietly, "He is sleeping. He usually sleeps early and wakes up early. I stay up to… try and experiment with new recipes. Why?"

"Well, he's my lie detector!" Jackal chuckles, "Besides, him being with me may just rub some of his luck on me. We can score tonight!"

And here comes that defensive feeling again.

"Are you out of your mind?!"/ "Jackal-sama! You'll catch some skank's disease!"

Jackal looks at the duo before shrugging, "Anyway, I can't just believe someone's word who knows their way around the Entertainment District. I'm not that stupid. So, I need Miach either way! Hey, by the way, where's Take staying? I'll take him along~!"

Eventually, Jackal leaves with a groggy Miach. Others think that Miach is a morning person but not… far from it. He simply wakes up hours earlier than others and just stays in bed, contemplates his life for some more time idly, and then goes out to greet the world with his characteristic smile.

Meanwhile, a snappy Lili returns to her current home while muttering something about cleaning him if her dog ears are to be believed.

Sighing to herself… Naaza quietly returns to her room.

Indeed, only one Lust Potion was sold today. Unlike Jackal who has garnered interest for being the sole reason that Soma Familia has fallen to seven members, he has attracted that sort of interest from many power-hungry amazoness in search of a capable mate. News like this practically lights their entire system in glee and wonder.

In comparison…

The Blue Pharmacy sold one.

Naaza pulls open the drawer of her nightstand and looks at the goblin-faced potion sitting in it.

Her furry ears twitch. The pinch of frustration at the thought of Jackal roaming the entertainment district… because of her casual suggestion no less makes her want to do something about the situation.

If not to Jackal then to herself, at least.

Gulping, Naaza quickly closes off the drawer once again.

No!

How can she remain critical of his actions if she falls to similar temptations?

Although his guidance during her time as an adventurer lasted for a short time, it was time for her to return the favor.

She is more experienced in running a store.

It had been her idea to keep a written journal if Jackal wished to limit the sale of the Butterfree Era.

It had been her idea to set the products the way he did to showcase the various features of the items alongside the displayed products.

She sighs again and stops her work for the night before locking the doors and slumping on her bed after a change of clothes.

The Entertainment District of Orario expands its clutches in the southern region of the city. The district is popularly known for its brothels and the Ishtar Familia but it also boasts many attractive Casinos. Not all, mind you. Casinos hold a special position in Orario but that is something Jackal doesn't really care for.

Neither prostitution.

The individual purrs and calls of the women around him in the region dotted with pink-shaded magical lamps create a wall of pleasant noise. The subtle scent of each whore's perfume, however, is a punishment for their noses.

Humans and demi-humans purchase others or sell themselves for the night but this isn't an unregulated place. Public flirtation is acceptable but the moment someone finds selling the goods on the street itself, they are in trouble.

One of the largest attractions of the entertainment districts, however, is not the Amazoness. No, there are simply too many horny amazoness who find their calling in prostitution while trying to search for their capable mate.

It's demi-humans like elves and dark elves that garner pricey attraction.

"I don't know about this," Takemikazuchi huffs as he and Miach attract attention constantly. He had been eager to spend some time with the duo since it is easy to see that Jackal did not revere him and put that inevitable distance of respect between them.

They can be friends.

Take need friends.

"It's not like I'm here to encourage you to pay!" Jackal crosses his arms, "I've been taught that when you can get a prostitute to sleep with you for free then you've got all the rights to boast as a man!"

"Really?" Miach yawns when an eager amazoness jogs up to him.

"Miach? It's really you~? I never thought you'd step in here," the twin-tailed dark-skinned girl gushes in excitement, "Would you like me to show you around?" Leaning a bit coyly, she whispers, "I could repay you for all those potions you hand me, you know~!"

"Hey~!" Another, bustier one hugs Take's arm and purrs, "You're new, I can tell, dear god. But I really have a thing for swole men like you. How about I show you Orario's special welcome for free?"

Take and Miach look at each other and then they glance at Jackal before asking with an uncanny sync.

""Like this?""

"Fuck you guys!"

This makes the two gods chuckle as they deny their suitors and tag along. They are simply here for the sights, nothing more.

But… Jackal's plan works.

His luck finally shines!

"You're the Butcher of Orario!" A gray-haired Hume Bunny bounces in his direction with a heated look and a natural flush of her cheeks, "Some girls I know are from Soma Familia. They stuck around with Soma in the end but your tales are heard around here, you know~ Especially your eyes! Wow, they really stand out!"

"Oh…"

He did not account for one thing.

"Thanks for the compliment~!" Jackal grins and chuckles, "I hope Soma doesn't screw up this time."

"Hmm! Hmm! Thanks… actually, they were there," The bunny whispers, "That night… they told me that you did not harm the kids and even killed the asshole wanting to use them as his shield… how about I…" She leans in suggestively, "How about I show gratitude in their stead?"

Her gray eyes observe him eagerly before she licks her short lips.

His fate is simply to attract short stacks.

But…

"Sorry, some other time. I'm with friends," Jackal gestures at the two gods being hit on but their ears twitch at his words and they, too, use the same excuse and get out of it.

"Aw~ Well, the name's Kinto. If you want to find me, Long Bun's the place to go~!"

"I'll keep that in mind," Jackal waves her goodbye and leaves with Miach and Takemikazuchi.

"Jackal? Didn't you want to have a free one?" Not regarding Jackal as a 'child' any longer, Miach speaks more comfortably.

"I did… but now I know I can get it later on, too. Besides, I'm not going to ditch the two of you. You're the only two friends I got."

"I just arrived," Takemikazuchi blinks.

"So? You don't wanna be pals?"

"Well, if you put it that way…"

Jackal looks back at them and grins, "I'm also taught that any food stall here that manages to stand out in the world of sex is fucking awesome! Let's eat, too!"

As he said, he just wanted to hang out with Miach, and Takemikazuchi, and have a blast. Sex wasn't his priority.

As they toured around, they also contacted the owners of several bordellos listed by the guild and drew standard distribution contracts for now. Alas, finding a good employee was a lost cause.

He wanted the duo's help for it but as it turns out, horny women would wag their tails regardless and agree to anything without thinking things through so they could not be trusted.

But, at least, he can finally say he has friends.

Male buddies.

Jackal instinctively knew that this item was trouble when he saw it. He didn't even reveal it to Miach.

After returning to his home and finding Lili asleep, Jackal did not rush for the Dungeon. Instead, he sat on his sofa and looked at the pitch-black book.

The book's cover is fashioned out of black leather that has protruded edges painted brown to emulate a frame. The spine of the book is decorated with words.

— Tale of Aultcray the Horrible —

On the front of the book is the portrait of the man Jackal killed.

The only death despite his brutal methods.

The backside of the book is plain save for a small word in the lower right corner.

— End.—

Heaving a deep breath, Jackal flips open the book.

April 1, The Birth of the Fool.

His cries ached the ears of his mothers. The human face of his pissed the father boasting cat ears. The cat had been played. The Child is born as an ill omen. The very first moment of his birth and he already caused a rift between his cat mom and cat pops…

Jackal reads quietly. Somehow, the tale is an interesting one; the beginning, at least.

But his eyelids soon feel heavy but he snaps them open.

'Huh?'

He looks around. At least, he tries to. But he cannot. Instead, he faces an angry, ashen-haired Catman who sets him down and glares at someone angrily in the room before leaving.

'Again… huh?'

It soon becomes clear that he may be living another man's memories— Aultcray's, to be precise.

'Bruh… can't I skip?'

The moment this thought arises, the world begins to flash by. His vision is littered with colors and memories. His brain is overloaded with information about a whole different life… and all of Aultcray's crimes. Crimes so worse that it instantly made Jackal hurl—

"Uagghhhhh!"

He bends down and vomits all over his floor as his brain bangs into his skull while his heart beats out of his ears. The vessels in his eyes are dark red by now, giving off the impression that he is bleeding from his sclera and it takes for him to reorient his mental condition.

"Huff… huff, that bastard!" He curses under his breath.

Jackal will never take pity on this man even if he was molested as a child! The bastard is the one who committed similar atrocities!

And Jackal had the unfortunate chance to speedrun through it all!

In front of him, the book is reduced to ashes.

Meanwhile, in his mind… he can recall what little Aultcray knew about battle, magic… or the sensation of Soma's Perfect wine, and honestly… Jackal has felt that high before.

When he died.

It felt the same.

Extremely peaceful and gentle.

So, Jackal wasn't all that impressed by the perfect wine.

'But… fuck Aultcray!'

He curses again before starting to clean the shit up.

Yet, his mind understands one thing.

'If I kill an adventurer who can use magic… this thing will become a grimoire basically. Huh… I should start hunting for monsters on the surface and inside the dungeon.'

Maybe he is wrong.

Maybe he won't be able to just use magic willy-nilly. But he can try, right?

Although he has no interest in saving everyone… if he can save some poor soul while hunting down a monster in a mortal's flesh then hey, it's a bonus.

But Jackal would never fool himself with the hypocritical thinking of— Doing all this for the good deeds itself.

He likes to believe he is good when compared to the filth of this world but he isn't the best thing out there.

'Not that I ever need to be the best. It doesn't exist after all. Even Take said that no god is without a weakness so… they are just like mortals but stronger.'

He decides to ponder on his spar with Take earlier today and shadowbox a bit.

He'll need all the practice for the spar the coming dawn.

***

Alternate Title: Easy Victory; Easier Loss; Shitty Bet; Jackal Can Do This All Day *Take* Press X For Doubt; Maria's Falls for the Lewd Sleeping Hand Touching!; The Sold Lust Potion; Miach's Secret to Being a Morning Person; The Boys; Pulling Hoes; Rejecting Them for Bros; Standard Contracts Do Not Include Hand Stuff; The Unwanted Vault of Memory

***

Psst, hey, wanna join the dark side and share some powerstones? If yes, follow the path of your seniors!—

CovertSytherin and Jonathan Dubreuil!!

Read 15 advance chapters here—

Patre on.com/Fanharem

下一章