Chapter 41

He called my name. I couldn't not respond, I wasn't a jerk so there was no way I was going to let my anger take full control if Kyle was concerned. Stopping, I turned around, then I noticed he was walking over to me and I let out a shallow breath.

If my father really decided to keep up with the ' bad cop ' attitude I was going to prove to him that I wasn't a puppet. I didn't care what he did or said. And he was crazy if he thought I was going to go home straight after school. Actually, not going back at all didn't seem like such a bad idea.

Kyle got to where I was, and he darted his face across my features before reaching forward and fisting a hand in my hair. 

" What the fuck!" I complained because I hadn't been expecting it, and he wasn't being gentle about it either. And without saying a word he used the grip on my hair to angle my head to the right, then to the left as he observed my features with a frown.

" What're you doing?" 

" What's gotten you in such a mood?" he lightly asked before letting go and crossing his arms again. Then he looked past me and inclined his head to the direction I was heading to.

" Where're you going?" 

" Was that really necessary?" I asked instead of replying. Combing my fingers through my hair and shaking my head. He ignored the question and turned to the kid he was with. 

" Hey Max!.... I'll catch up with you later, cool?" 

So Max was his name. I think I had actually known that, we were in the same history class...but it must have slipped my mind. 

He nodded, looked at me with the weirdest look, then he turned on his heel as he put on his headphones and walked away. And for some strange reason I noted that he was wearing a different pair. I was used to seeing him with his usual blue ones, the ones he had on at the moment were red and white. 

" I'd love to hang out but I have something to do, I'll catch up with you later though, " I told him. Hating the words immediately after because his company was something I always craved. And when it came freely offered I treasured it even more. He seemed taken aback by what I said. As kids, whenever I got super angry, I would either willingly go to him, or I'd retreat to somewhere quiet for a while before I went back to him. Unlike Kyle who always chose to hide away. And I wished this was one of those moments where I turned to him, but I didn't want him thinking I was still the same temperamental kid I had always been. And I didn't want to spend time with him while I wasn't myself. 

" Are you chasing me off?" 

" What? Of course not!" 

In a way, I was. But I had my reasons.

" I just..." I rubbed a hand on my forehead. All I was thinking about was the different things I wanted to do to make my father regret having given me his unfair ultimatums. There were so many options. And they were all driven by the momentary anger which wouldn't disappear until I calmed down and gathered my thoughts. I had always been like that, even as a child. But after my mom died it had gotten much much worse, to the point where I had to see a shrink about it. 

" Don't be mad, but I'll talk to you later. "

" You seem upset. " 

" I'm not, I just have something to do. "

He looked at the direction I was heading to once more, then he narrowed his gaze and tilted his head to the side like he was thinking something through. 

" Bleachers?" He asked afterwards. It wasn't a surprise that he had figured it out. It was either I was heading to the bleachers or to the soccer field. 

He held my shoulder and started leading me that way. Dropping his hand a few seconds into the contact because in his pretty little mind, everyone was staring at us and jumping to conclusions. And he didn't want to have any of that even if those conclusions were true in their own way. I knew without a doubt that he wasn't going to ask me what was wrong. That wasn't how he operated. We got to the bleachers, and apart from two kids running on the track in the distance, no one else was around. 

" Wanna sit on the steps or.." he let the statement trail off because he knew I'd know what the second option was. I had personally intended to just climb up the steps and sit alone at the one on the very top, but I changed my mind after he asked me. 

" Let's go," I told him. Then I walked to the bottom of the bleachers and slowly made my way to that secret nook he had showed me the other day. It was darker than it had been the last time. Probably because it was still early and the sun wasn't property out yet. 

Throwing my bag on the ground, I laid down on my back and brought one knee up, my hands behind my head as I closed my eyes. Then I waited to see what he'd do or to hear what he'd say. And I realized that having him there was way better than being by myself. And now that he was with me, alone, I had something else to concentrate on. I heard some movement, then I felt him next to me but didn't look to confirm anything. And even if I did look,all I'd see was his silhouette. 

" I like your shoes, " were the first words he spoke. I lazily opened my eyes, then I glanced at my feet because I had actually momentarily forgotten which pair I had on. 

" Thanks, " 

He was looking straight at me. Darkness was Kyle's friend whenever the two of us were involved. Normal Kyle would have thought a thousand times over before sitting that close to me. And I wondered why he couldn't be the same way in the light. 

" You okay?" He asked me afterwards. I chuckled softly. 

" Yap. "

" You lying?" 

" Yap. "

He returned to the silence after that. And I imagined he was thinking whether or not to ask me about it. Prying just wasn't in his nature, so I understood when he decided to let it be. But then I felt his hand on my cheek before he quickly withdrew. And I had assumed it was out of fear or discomfort, but then he spoke and I realized he felt neither of those things.

" I'm giving you one imaginary blue sticker, " he stated, his voice low as if he himself couldn't believe what he was saying. And in that moment neither could I. I half sat up, wishing more than ever that that place wasn't as dark, but still knowing that if it wasn't he would have never made such a move.

Back when we had been eleven, he had wanted us to go to this science fair. But I had refused because it wasn't my thing, and my dad was going to be free on that day so he had promised to take us to the mall. That to me sounded much more fun, and because Kyle didn't want to go to the fair alone, he had no choice but to join us at the mall. He had tried to get me to change my mind for two whole days. 

He ended up missing the fare, and it wasn't until we were in the mall that I realized how truly bumped out he was, he had only been forcing himself to have fun because my dad was around and he didn't want to seem ungrateful. The entire thing had made me feel like an awful friend, I apologized,he forgave me because he was Kyle, but I still felt as if it wasn't enough. So I had reached into my pocket and taken out a couple of stickers which I had removed from a poster in the ice cream parlor. I had no clue what they were but they had seemed cool. 

" What am I supposed to do with these? " He asked as I handed them to him. A puzzled look on his face. He reached out and unwillingly took them from me. 

" Is this your way of making it up to me? With stolen stickers? " He rolled his eyes. 

" It's okay, I'm not mad. "

He tried giving them back, but I refused. 

" Those are your pass cards. "

He visibly frowned. We were seated at a food court and my dad was ordering at the counter. 

" What?" 

He studied them with the frown still in place. wondering whether they weren't actually stickers but something more valuable and he just didn't know it. 

" As long as you have those, I'm going to give you two chances to ask for anything you want. And I'll give it to you. "

His eyes shot up. And he looked a bit suspicious of my offer, like he didn't believe I was being for real. 

" Anything?" 

" Anything. "

He had smiled and tucked them into his pocket. And now, after five years, I realized that he had only ever used one. 

And he had used it to get me to study with him for an entire hour. And now he had given me the same free pass. I could ask him for absolutely anything and he was going to give it to me. 

My mood lightened up instantly.