That Voice Is Against the Rules

Mahiru had fallen in love with a guy who was cautious, shy, and meek.

She couldn't say he was all that friendly, and he did adopt a curt attitude

toward unfamiliar people, but he wasn't exactly what she would call cold.

He could be considerate, and his disposition was naturally gentle.

Once he got to know someone, he listened to them with a calm

expression on his face and showed them his soft smile.

Once someone formed a deep friendship with him, it became clear that

although he was not very good at making conversation, he was considerate

and very thoughtful, a gentlemanly sort of person.

…Too gentlemanly. Whenever Mahiru physically closed the distance

between them, he opened it back up, and before she could get his attention,

he moved away. It was causing Mahiru some consternation.

What can I do to get Amane to be more aware of me?

Before she could get him to love her, she had to get him to see her, but

she wasn't sure how to do that.

The easiest and quickest way would probably be to wear something

revealing to seize his attention, but common sense and propriety convinced

her she would immediately be rejected if she tried something like that.

Recklessly exposing so much skin was naturally something Mahiru had

never done, and she knew that Amane wouldn't even be able to look her in

the eye if she was dressed like that. Plus, if things went poorly, it might

even ruin his image of her.

She'd considered trying to be clingier, but she was certain that would

only make Amane pull away from her.

He didn't mind if their hands or shoulders touched a little bit. But the

moment their bodies came in contact, he always casually put space between

them or informed her in an uneasy voice, "You're touching me."

Mahiru also thought that an approach like that was too pushy and was

vulgar to boot. She got embarrassed just thinking about it and rejected the

idea in the end.

So how can I get his attention?

"What about creeping into his room at night?"

"Have you been listening? I can't just barge into a guy's bedroom and

attack him while he's asleep. Not only is it bad manners, it's trespassing!"

Mahiru had given Chitose the basics and asked for her advice. When she

got that unthinkable response, Mahiru narrowed her eyes and glared at her

friend in spite of herself.

She did feel bad about taking up Chitose's time after school to ask her

about all this. But Chitose's advice was much too forward. There was no

way Mahiru could do something like that.

Chitose didn't seem intimidated by Mahiru's chilly gaze. She stirred the

café au lait she had ordered with a stirring stick and laughed quietly.

"Come on, you know I was joking. But listen, I've said it before: With

that type of guy, I think it's going to be hard to develop the kind of

relationship you're after unless you really push things along."

"Th-that's—"

"I mean, he hasn't done a thing, has he? Despite having such a

charming, cute girl by his side, diligently looking after him and treating him

with so much care and affection. Like, is he even a man? Is his thing

attached right? Is it working? Makes me wonder…"

"I'll thank you to refrain from such talk. Geez."

Even though Mahiru knew that there weren't any other students from

their school in the café, since she had checked to see if there were any

people in the nearby seats, remarks like that could be quite risky.

Even if she turned down the volume, the things Chitose was saying

would have been really awful for someone to overhear. That put Mahiru on

edge and made her feel embarrassed.

For better or for worse, Chitose had an unreserved quality to her, and

when it was just the two girls, she often made very lively remarks without

any reservation. Mahiru often had to work hard not to give her disapproving

looks.

Mahiru's cheeks flushed when Chitose mentioned a particular thing that

she rarely thought about, and Chitose looked even more amused.

…She's right, though: Amane has never once behaved that way toward

me.

Even when they were alone together in private, he hadn't made any such

moves.

Mahiru had assumed that he was just being careful, but she wondered if

that was really the case. She tried hard to put the uninvited thought out of

her mind.

Mahiru softly cleared her throat. She attempted to pull herself together,

but even so, once the thought had crossed her mind, she couldn't let it go.

"But really, Amane's not very eager. If anything, he's too gentlemanly,

right? He's the kinda guy who'll stay a respectful distance. Normally, I'd

say it wouldn't surprise me if he had some sort of ulterior motive. That's

why I've got my doubts about him being a real man."

"Chitose…"

"Geez, sorry. Look, the one thing I wanna say is that since he's so

rational, since he's the type not to act on any feelings he might have, if you

keep doing what you're doing, you're never going to get closer to him,

okay? If you want him to notice you, you've got to be the one to make it

happen."

Mahiru knew that perfectly well already. But she didn't know what she

was supposed to do. She had already tried everything she could think of.

"…Well, you're you, and you're having an effect on Amane without him

even knowing, I'm sure. He just hasn't noticed yet. And Amane's a disaster.

I don't know how you put up with him," Chitose muttered in a low voice.

"What is it that I've done?"

Mahiru probed her gently for the meaning of her statements.

"Been so darn cute!"

Chitose didn't seem inclined to explain any further and laughed as she

evaded the question.

Mahiru knew that when she got like this, Chitose would stubbornly

refuse to talk, so Mahiru quickly gave up on getting any more information

out of her and sighed softly.

…So then what should I do?

She had seen for herself that Amane wasn't completely indifferent to

her.

She got to see the kind, sweet expressions that he never showed to

anyone else, and she knew that he was always courteous and honorable

toward her.

She also knew that he thought she was something special, more than

anyone else did.

At the very least, he liked her as a person, and it was a bit of wishful

thinking on Mahiru's part, but she thought that he liked her as a member of

the opposite sex as well.

If not, he probably wouldn't have opened up to her, and surely he

wouldn't be spoiling Mahiru and letting her spoil him.

"How do I put this…? Mahiru, you and Amane are both cruel people in

your own ways. Anyway, I think you should keep trying and really pour on

the pressure."

"Pressure… So for example, Chitose, um, when you're with Akazawa,

how do you spend your time together?"

"Huh? I don't think knowing that will help you."

If Chitose was going to be that forward, then Mahiru wanted to hear

how she spent time with her boyfriend, as an example. But Chitose waved

her hand a few times with a loose smile on her face.

"With Ikkun, you know, we make out and stuff."

"M-make out…"

"When we get some time together, well, we either go out or we have a

stay-at-home date. But in your case, you're limited to staying at home, I

guess. Hmm, when we're at home, we do stuff like snuggle up and watch a

DVD, or read comics, or play a game, or have rambling conversations. You

know, that sort of thing. And also, if no one else is in the house, we, well,

you know?"

"G-got it, okay! You don't need to give me all the details!"

"What? I haven't even really said what it is we do yet…but what were

you imagining, I wonder?"

"..."

"Sorry, sorry. Well, we cuddle and kiss, and all sorts of things on top of

that, but there's no way you can do that, right, Mahiru? Of course, if you

did, I would applaud your courage!"

"I—I won't! I can't!"

If they even tried to kiss, they wouldn't be able to so much as look each

other in the eye. After all, kissing, and everything that came after it, was

usually something people did once they were already dating, not a method

for catching someone's attention.

Mahiru glared daggers at Chitose, wondering how she could even

suggest such a thing, but Chitose brushed it off with a smile, completely

unbothered.

"Right, that's why my experience won't be of any use to you. The

wholesome kind of appeal that you want to make is best done with the

things you're already always doing, you see?"

"…Huh?"

"Boys get excited if you so much as smile at them, and you're already so

close to Amane, I bet you touch a lot. You're holding hands like it's

nothing, and you sit next to each other to read books together or play

games, so you're already making your move."

"Th-that's—"

"And you eat dinner together almost every day, and smile at each other

while you talk, and spend time snuggled up together like it's the most

natural thing in the world, so I'd say your efforts to attract him have already

been quite… Well, from the sidelines, you already look like a pair of

newlyweds. You're close enough to make people wonder."

Chitose grinned as she watched Mahiru's reaction, and Mahiru opened

and closed her mouth wordlessly several times, her bottom lip trembling.

She tried to object, but what emerged from the back of her throat was

just a soft groan that did not amount to any words.

…Newlyweds, she said?

Mahiru had certainly not been thinking about that when she spent time

with Amane. She had been sure that the two of them had a normal

relationship.

Helping to look after someone was in Mahiru's nature, and she sat

beside Amane because the sofa was the only place to sit. She was at his

place until later in the evening because they were finishing their homework

together or having lively conversations. Of course, the strongest reason for

her to spend time with Amane was that she wanted to be close to him. But

now she was being forced to think about how their conduct must look to

anyone else. A groan escaped her lips.

"You're telling me it was unintentional?" Chitose asked. "Well, all the

people who already know that you two are hanging out together probably

figured as much, so it's fine, don't worry."

"That's not fine at all!"

"Mahiru, you're shouting."

Chitose was laughing, her eyes squinted up as if to rebuke Mahiru for

raising her voice in response to the uncalled-for additional information.

Mahiru glared at her a little, feeling regret that she had forgotten herself for

a second.

Chitose gave her a satisfied smile and reassured her, "Relax, all we can

tell from the sidelines is that you have good chemistry." From the

encouraging way she said it, Mahiru couldn't tell whether she should or

shouldn't relax.

"Anyway, the two of you get along so well you give newlyweds and

longtime couples a run for their money. But at this point, I wonder if maybe

you should consider giving indirect contact a try?"

"…Indirect?"

"You've tried everything that's socially acceptable, but you still want

Amane to notice you, right? So you gotta change up your strategy. People

can get used to anything if you do it enough. Normally, you smile at him

and snuggle up to him, and you're already plying him with food, right? So

next time, try attacking with your voice, I think."

"…My voice?"

"That's right. Why don't you call him right before bed? A good-night

call isn't just for chitchat. He doesn't usually hear your voice at bedtime,

and it's like you're slipping into his private space, so it'll set his heart

thumping. It'll feel all the more exciting because you're not there in front of

him."

Chitose assured her that it worked even for people who were already

dating, turning her gaze slightly upward with a bashful look as if she was

remembering something. Even to another girl, she looked extraordinarily

cute.

…She's right, I almost never call him, so it will probably be a new

experience.

Usually, Amane was right beside her when she wanted to talk to him, so

they heard each other directly. Sometimes, they corresponded through

notes. But phone calls were a method of communication that had naturally

fallen out of use for them, so there could be something novel in the

experience.

Besides, being able to hear Amane's voice right before sleeping had its

own appeal for Mahiru. If it meant that she could hear her beloved's voice

and go to bed feeling content, then she had to give it a try.

"…In that case, um, I-I'll try my best," Mahiru said timidly.

Chitose made a delighted gasp, and her eyes lit up.

"So before bed, I'll try talking to him. We'll talk about our day, and

anything fun that happened, and our plans for the next day… Sharing a

conversation will be good, I think."

"…That sounds so like you, Mahiru."

Mahiru announced her decision with grave earnestness, but Chitose's

smile transformed into something softer.

"Why do you look so pleased?"

"Because you're so adorable."

"You're making fun of me, aren't you?"

"No way, no how!"

"Good grief."

Chitose gave a sarcastic response, and Mahiru shot her a reproachful

look, but Chitose smiled and murmured quietly, "So cute," as if she were

watching a child.

That made Mahiru very uncomfortable. All she wanted to do was to get

Chitose to stop looking at her like that.

"Man, you're really cute! Girls in love are always cute, you know. And

you're even more adorable because of how devoted and pure you are."

"…So you're saying you find my feelings amusing?"

"You're imagining things. It's just your imagination."

Chitose was grinning even as she told Mahiru she was imagining things,

so Mahiru pouted a little and then turned away in a huff.

After that, Mahiru parted from Chitose and went back to her apartment.

Then, after changing clothes, she headed over to Amane's place, feeling

enthusiastic about trying out a good-night phone call.

She used her spare key, as was now the norm for her, and passed through

the entryway. Amane popped out suddenly from the kitchen, evidently

alerted to her presence by the sound of the door unlocking, and said,

"Welcome home."

She had told Amane ahead of time that she was going to be a little late

and had asked him to cook the rice, so there was nothing strange about it,

but in spite of herself, Mahiru froze when she saw him in his apron.

Amane often helped out with the housework, so she ought to have been

used to seeing him in his apron, but she felt a strange sort of embarrassment

when he greeted her so naturally, with a gentle look in his eyes.

…Greeting me like that, it's like we're a couple or something.

Her earlier conversation with Chitose was probably having an effect on

her.

She felt ashamed for imagining such a thing when they weren't even

dating yet, but nevertheless, a smile slowly crept across her face.

"I—I just got back."

She immediately composed her expression, but it was impossible to hide

the agitation in her shrill voice. This drew a puzzled response from Amane.

"Is something the matter?"

"N-no, um, you just don't often greet me in your apron, so it's kind of

novel, is all."

"Ah, that's what it is. I guess it's usually the other way around, huh?

Since you don't usually come back very late."

Amane readily accepted her somewhat forced explanation and smiled a

little.

"Well, as you can see, I went ahead and started the dinner preparations,

but I was just thinking I should have gone out to meet you after all. I'm sure

it was kind of dark on the walk back," Amane said, then glanced at the

living room clock for a moment and frowned.

Mahiru shook her head slowly.

Sure, the sun had already set by the time she headed home at six

o'clock, but it wasn't as though the curtain of night had completely fallen. It

was a perfectly normal time for a high school student to be returning home.

"There was still plenty of foot traffic, and it was still relatively light

outside. Plus, I would have taken a taxi if the sun had completely set and

the road looked dangerous."

"That's all very good, but you know I would come meet you if you

called me, right? You can count on me."

"T-taking advantage of you like that—"

"Come on, stop. If I'm around, I want you to take advantage of me.

Although I may not be the most reliable."

"…You are very reliable."

"Oh, really?"

Amane was smiling just a little awkwardly, perhaps because he thought

of himself as unreliable. But from Mahiru's perspective, he was more than

dependable. More than anyone else, out of all the people she knew.

Maybe the results of all his training were starting to show, because it

was clear that his physique was shaping up bit by bit. Once he had had a bit

of a tendency to hunch over, but now his posture had improved, almost as a

manifestation of his newfound confidence. He was stooping forward a bit at

the moment to meet Mahiru's gaze, but his eyes were earnestly kind and

full of concern for her well-being. She felt her chest gradually growing

warm.

"I, um, I always rely on you."

"I'm the one who's always relying on you, so you should at least lean on

me in cases like this."

Amane put on a faint smile, extended an arm that looked a little more

muscular than before, and gently patted her on the head.

Normally, he didn't touch her without a good reason, and yet at times

like this, he did so quite naturally. Mahiru had slightly complicated feelings

about it.

She knew he probably wasn't really aware of it, but as the person on the

receiving end, on the one hand, it felt nice and made her happy, but on the

other, it was embarrassing and made her worry that she was the only one

who felt something between them.

…At times like this, he treats me like a little child.

However, she didn't entirely dislike that.

Actually, far from disliking it, she wanted him to do it more, but that

wasn't something that she could just ask for, so all she could do was

appreciate it when Amane did touch her.

As she tried to hold her inexpressible emotions in check, Mahiru gave

Amane a look that was ever so slightly reproachful, and he blinked

dramatically in surprise.

"I washed my hands earlier, and I'll do it again before we start cooking,

okay?"

"…I'm not worried about something like that, geez."

It was probably impossible for Mahiru to tell him precisely how she was

feeling, and she didn't necessarily want him to know anyway.

But since it would have been unfair for her to be the only one with a

pounding heart, she rubbed her head against Amane's chest for a moment.

She could hear him getting flustered, but Mahiru pretended not to notice

and made the most of the situation. Amane's sounds of agitation gradually

transformed into gentle, permissive noises of resignation.

Mahiru knew that those sounds were for her ears only, and her mouth

automatically curled into a gentle smile.

But since there was no way she could possibly let Amane see her sappy

grin, after enjoying the feeling of his fingers in her hair for a little longer,

she put on a relaxed expression and raised her head.

Leaving his hand on her head, Amane looked down at her with a slight

flush on his face. His clear, dark eyes were wavering slightly, revealing his

unrest.

When Mahiru smiled with a little bit of satisfaction at his expression,

Amane brushed his hair back lightly, as if he was stroking his own head,

and let out a sigh.

"…I'm gonna get back to cooking."

He's running away.

That's what she thought, but she didn't say a thing. She thought that if

she did, Amane would become sulky. Mahiru tried to follow Amane into

the kitchen, but he lightly caught hold of her shoulders and stopped her.

"You just relax in the living room, Mahiru."

"…I can help."

"Today's my day to cook. If you came all the way over here to relax,

then you should actually relax. The menu isn't that challenging. Plus,

you're always making food for me."

"…And you're always helping me in the kitchen, aren't you, Amane?"

"But you take the lead, since I'm not good for much. Our labor isn't

comparable. Now, come on and leave it to me. Think of it as letting me

practice."

His voice was gentle and tender but had a strange compelling power to it

that wasn't going to let her refuse. Shrinking back, she tried to continue

objecting, but Amane just leisurely shook his head and wouldn't let her

enter the kitchen.

"Are you that worried about me cooking alone?"

"That's not it, but it just doesn't feel right having you do everything…"

"Well, then maybe you could help set the table."

Amane seemed adamant about refusing to let her help with the cooking.

In lieu of complaining, Mahiru butted her head against his upper arm, and

Amane put on a somewhat mischievous smile and rubbed her head again.

Ultimately, Mahiru ended up leaving the whole process of cooking up to

Amane, but perhaps not unexpectedly, she was anxious about Amane and

waited restlessly in the living room.

She knew perfectly well that Amane was more or less capable of

cooking decently, but her concerns were her concerns.

As she uneasily watched a television program, she also monitored his

progress, keeping an ear out for any noises and glancing into the kitchen

from time to time. But fortunately, Amane managed to get dinner on the

table without any major complications.

While he was cooking, a spicy aroma had drifted out of the kitchen to

whet her appetite, and she'd started to suspect that he was making keema

curry.

Amane had been the one to decide what he was making that day, and

Mahiru had predicted that it might be curry. But she didn't know for sure

that it was keema curry until he was plating it up.

"I made sure to taste it as I went, okay?"

Mahiru couldn't help but laugh at Amane when he reassured her.

Perhaps he was unnerved by her staring, and he grumbled a little peevishly,

"Guess you really don't trust me."

It was Mahiru's turn to pat Amane on the head as they took their seats.

Dinner was a simple menu of keema curry and salad, and at a glance,

she couldn't spot any issues with it.

Amane had always been the type who could make things that tasted

better than they looked, so long as he studied the recipe and faithfully

followed along, so she hadn't been all that worried.

She glanced over at Amane and got a somewhat expectant look in

return.

Mahiru normally made delicious meals, she knew. She expected that

Amane was probably anxious to hear her appraisal of his cooking.

Amane looked strangely adorable as he fidgeted slightly, and Mahiru

smiled in spite of herself.

"…What is it?"

"Nothing at all. All right, let's eat."

You're so cute.

Still smiling, she pressed her hands together and gave thanks for the

food and for Amane, who had cooked it. Then she picked up her spoon.

Feeling his eyes on her, Mahiru brought Amane's homemade keema

curry to her mouth. It had a gentle sort of flavor.

He had probably used restraint when adding the spices, since neither of

them was a particularly big fan of spicy food.

A small amount of spiciness came through, but on the whole, the curry

had a mellow, homey taste. More than anything else, the impression was

that it simply tasted good.

The knowledge that Amane had made it was probably the best seasoning

of all.

"…It's delicious."

"Yeah? I'm glad."

She gave her honest impression, and Amane must have been relieved,

because his mouth spread into a soft smile, and he seemed to relax. Just as

Mahiru was thinking that he looked younger and cuter than usual, grinning

like that, she felt keenly aware that she had fallen head over heels for

Amane.

Amane looked delighted as he also took a bite of his keema curry.

Mahiru took another bite, then recalled Amane's past cooking and mumbled

quietly, "You've really improved your culinary skills."

Amane had never been incapable of cooking, he was just awful at it out

of a stereotypical lack of experience.

Luckily, his palate was normal, and in fact he was able to perceive more

subtle flavors than most, probably thanks to his parents. And he was

someone who thought things through rationally, which made it easy for him

to understand the purpose of the various steps in the cooking process. So

naturally, with a little experience, he made a capable cook.

"That's because I've been looking at recipes I got from my mom, and

helping you out in the kitchen a lot, and making an effort to practice on my

own on the weekends. I've gotten better."

"Oh-ho, impressive!"

"Well, I did rely on modern conveniences quite a bit this time. The

seasoning is mostly thanks to the store-bought roux, and I cut up the

vegetables with that device I bought the other day."

Amane looked slightly apologetic as he poked at the finely cut

vegetables in his keema curry with his spoon.

The "modern convenience" he was talking about was a handy tool he

had recently bought that made it easy to finely chop vegetables by putting

them in a case and pulling a cord to cut them up with an attached blade.

He had purchased it with the aim of saving time and simplifying the

cooking process, and it had been more useful to Amane than to Mahiru.

Mahiru used it sometimes as well, when she was short on time, and

thought it was good for some things, so she wasn't opposed to using it or

seeing it used. But Amane seemed to have some reservations.

"It's made and sold because people need it, so you should go ahead and

use it where you can. There's no problem, as long as everything turns out

edible and tasty."

"Well, you're right about that, but it made me realize how amazing you

are, since you're so skilled at using a kitchen knife. Being capable and

being proficient are two totally different things, you know? I'm still just

passable at best. Not just cooking but in other areas, too. I feel bad for

depending on you so much, and I know it'll cause issues going forward if

I'm bad at housework."

"You're not wrong per se, but you do the shopping and all the manual

labor. When people are living together, dividing up the chores is the most

efficient way to do things. As you might expect, I'll ask you to keep doing

your own laundry, but otherwise, we can share the work and let our skills

complement each other's."

She'd meant to express that she wasn't expecting perfection from

Amane, but for some reason, he stiffened and dropped his spoon in his

curry.

Luckily, he dropped it over the plate, so that was fine—if he had

dropped it on the floor, it probably would have been a bit of a pain to clean

up.

There was a little bit of curry on the handle, so Mahiru pulled out a wet

wipe from the container that was sitting on the table and tried to hand it to

Amane. But Amane just kept staring at her and didn't take it.

Wondering whether she had said something strange, Mahiru tilted her

head in a forced way, and his dark eyes darted around the room as if he was

distressed.

"…Ah, I, um—it's nothing."

"It doesn't seem like it was nothing."

"It's fine. Come on, let's eat while it's still hot."

He seemed as if he wanted to say something, but she could tell that

whatever it was, she wasn't likely to coax it out of him.

Mahiru gave him a pointed look of disappointment, but Amane just

accepted the wet wipe and wiped his spoon clean. He didn't open his mouth

again to talk.

Amane silently shoveled his keema curry into his mouth and didn't look

in her direction.

His face flushed slightly red as he ate the curry, though it wasn't very

spicy, and he sighed as if he was having a hard time. Mahiru also sighed

quietly and resumed eating.

Ultimately, after eating dinner, they spent the evening in their usual manner.

They washed the dishes together as they always did, laid out their

homework and completed it, laughed together at whatever was on TV, and

finally Mahiru went home to go to bed.

Though she would have liked to stay at Amane's place a little longer,

she needed to get changed early and prepare for her first ever good-night

phone call.

When Mahiru finished changing and was ready to get in bed, she took a

look at herself and let out an unintentional sigh.

…I feel like I'm too excited for this.

Particularly since she wasn't making a video call. Still, she had spent

longer in the bath than usual and taken a long time grooming her hair and

skin for no reason. And she was wearing her new favorite nightdress, a (not

see-through) white silk negligee decorated with lace that she had bought on

a shopping trip with Chitose. Chitose had declared that it was "absolutely to

Amane's taste."

Mahiru understood that girls valued fashion even when no one else

could see it, but she had a feeling that this was less of a fashion statement

and more like getting dressed for battle.

She wondered why she was getting so worked up, even though all she

was doing was making a simple phone call.

And yet despite being so fully prepared, Mahiru was unable to make her

move. She sat there with her smartphone displaying the call screen.

It was all very good to have decided to call him, but just what reason

should she give for calling?

Neither of them was the type of person to call unless they needed

something, so she really had no idea. She rarely ever called Amane to begin

with, so a good-night phone call was beyond the pale.

I decided I would call, but what if I bother him?

She worried about interrupting him as he got ready for bed or waking

him if he was already asleep. He might oversleep or get insufficient rest,

because of her phone call.

The more she thought about it, the more her hesitation took control of

her fingertips, and she couldn't even get them to tap the call button.

She'd always thought of Amane as cautious and a late bloomer, but she

was even more of a wuss. She even felt a little bit like crying as she toppled

over onto the bed, still clutching her smartphone in indecision.

She rested her phone on her chest and mumbled, "I should just give up."

Just as she went to close the call screen—a jaunty melody began to stream

from the phone.

She was stunned for a moment as the phone suddenly played a tune that

she so rarely heard, but she soon realized that it was the sound of a phone

call connecting and jumped up. Apparently, she had accidentally made the

call.

Before she could cancel the call in a panic, she heard her own name

whispered through the smartphone speaker in a curious tone of voice.

"Mahiru?"

His voice was somewhat lower and hoarser than it had been when she'd

heard it several hours earlier, perhaps because he had been sleeping.

Still unprepared for what she had done, Mahiru looked timidly at the

screen, on which was displayed the icon for a familiar chat application,

conspicuously showing that there was a call in progress.

"Did something happen? You don't usually call this late."

"Ah, n-no, um…it—it's nothing, I just…s-sorry, did I wake you…?"

If she had woken him up, that would mean she had interrupted his sleep

for her own amusement.

Surely, it was much too selfish of her to continue presuming upon

Amane's kindness, no matter how nice he was to her.

Mahiru bit her lip, ready for him to be angry with her, when she heard a

small chuckle from the other end of the line.

"Nah, I already got ready for bed, but I wasn't sleeping. It's fine if you

want to give me a call for no particular reason. It was just sudden, so it

surprised me."

"I—I guess it was. Sorry to call so suddenly…"

Surely, it must have been a nuisance for her to call right before bed

without arranging it beforehand.

She had been so eager before, but now she just felt embarrassed, and her

voice trailed off. But Amane maintained the same gentle tone and kindly

murmured, "You really don't have to apologize. I'm happy to hear your

voice."

Mahiru bit her lip even harder.

…That's just not fair.

He spoke in a caring, apologetic tone, so as not to cause Mahiru any

more anxiety than necessary, and whether he was aware of it himself or not,

his words and voice were indulgent. Mahiru found the whole thing utterly

endearing, and her heart began to ache in a different way than it ever had

before.

She imagined Amane laughing at her slightly as she sat there silenced by

shame and embarrassment at the loud, rhythmic pounding of her heart.

"…You couldn't sleep?"

There was no criticism, just a question in a gentle voice. But Mahiru was

unable to summon up an answer. She just stayed silent.

Not only had her reason for calling been selfish, but it was also the type

of objective that she couldn't come out and explain. There was just no way

she could admit it to Amane.

But it would have felt dishonest not to give a reason for phoning at

night, so she was greatly perplexed over how to explain it to him.

"I can't sleep, either, so could we stay on the line a little longer?"

An easy, smooth, gentle voice came through the speaker. It freed Mahiru

from the paralysis caused by the overwhelming embarrassment of the

thought of honestly confiding in him.

His persistently kind voice wasn't asking for any kind of explanation.

She could simply sense his earnestly peaceful and considerate heart.

"…Sure."

She understood that she was being very dishonest, but she didn't say

anything about it and just took advantage of Amane's kindness.

Most likely, Amane really did think that Mahiru had been having trouble

sleeping and had called him out of anxiety.

Maybe he understood that she would sometimes have nightmares and

cry out in her sleep.

Amane let out a relieved sigh when Mahiru quietly agreed to stay on the

phone, then chuckled quietly.

"Great… You know, we hardly ever talk on the phone like this, so it's

kind of fresh and new."

"It…sure is. We are basically always together, so if I have anything to

say, I can say it directly to you."

"Maybe it feels this way precisely because we're so close. You're

always by my side, so I've just been saying things directly to you, too…

This feels kind of funny, huh?"

"…Yeah."

Even though they were in neighboring apartments, and even though she

spent most of her time over at his place, just the act of using the phone as an

intermediary made it feel like a special time.

When she heard the sigh mixed with a hint of laughter come through the

speaker, Mahiru's mind produced a ticklish sensation, as if that sigh was

tracing slowly over her skin.

It felt nice and just a little bit tantalizing.

She lay down and twisted her body into a more comfortable position,

while listening carefully with the phone to her ear.

"Come to think of it"—Amane spoke up on the other end of the phone,

sounding like he had found a topic—"I forgot to ask you about it, but you

said you went out with Chitose today, right?"

"Yes. Well, all we did was go to a café and talk, though."

"That's great, though, that you were able to relax. Was it fun?"

"Yeah. I always feel energized when I'm with Chitose; she really lifts

my mood."

"Good; as long as you had fun, that's great. What do you two usually do

when you hang out?"

"We don't really do anything special, you know? We get drinks at a café,

or go shopping and look at clothes and accessories, or see a movie…

completely normal things."

"Huh. And here I was sure that Chitose was dragging you around to all

kinds of weird places."

"If she heard you say that, she'd get mad and say, 'How rude!' you

know?"

He seemed to be under the impression that Chitose was a real social

butterfly, since she had a public image as an active person.

To be sure, Chitose was the outdoorsy type, and she did make her way to

all sorts of places, but she would never force Mahiru to go along with her,

and she knew plenty of places where normal high school girls could go to

have fun.

Before she got to know Chitose, Mahiru had almost never gone out to

have fun, so she was quite happy to have a friend to take her around like she

did.

"Sometimes, she has information about places I would never go, or even

connections there, so I figure it must be a little scary for you when she takes

you to places you don't know."

"Well, she does sometimes take me with her to places I don't know, but

as you would expect, they're safe and interesting places. The other day, she

took me to a place where we could go bouldering. As you can imagine, I

had never done it before, but it was fun."

"Ah, bouldering? A long time ago, my mom took me to one of the

places in my hometown, but I could hardly make it up the wall. Not as bad

as someone who's totally nonathletic, mind you."

"Heh-heh. Now you could probably do a great job, I bet! You've been

working so hard at your weight lifting and all."

"I hope I've gotten at least a little bit stronger. Maybe you could show

me that climbing gym sometime soon."

"…Sure."

She had agreed quite easily. But when she stopped to think about it, she

realized that Amane had just asked her to go on an outing. Amane didn't

seem particularly worked up about it and was acting natural.

…Would that make it a…date?

If he just wanted to go to the bouldering gym, he could have asked

Chitose. So if he was asking Mahiru to show it to him, she could probably

take that to mean that he was asking because he wanted to go with Mahiru.

She had a feeling Chitose would have something to say about how

unsexy the destination was, but at Amane's invitation, Mahiru's lips

spontaneously curled into the arch of a smile.

"I'd be happy to go on an outing with you, Amane."

She was grinning from ear to ear from the thrill of actually honestly

expressing her feelings out loud, and no matter how she tried, there was no

dampening her excitement.

She was glad from the bottom of her heart that Amane was not in the

room with her. Surely, such an unguarded expression was not something fit

for him to see.

Mahiru rolled back and forth on top of her bed, delighted at the prospect

of an outing with the person she loved.

This alone made it worth calling.

It was probably her naïveté that made her go weak with joy.

The slight nervousness that had remained even after she started the

phone call disappeared, and instead she felt relief and a sudden drowsiness.

She was in a happy mood, and the onset of sleepiness made her want to

bask in that feeling all the more.

Mahiru was laughing silently to herself, noticing how difficult it was

getting to hold her eyelids open, when she heard a quiet voice from the

other end of the line.

"…So listen, could I ask you about something that's been on my mind?"

"…Something that's been on your mind?"

She quickly responded by asking him what it was, resisting the growing

urge to doze off.

The somewhat hesitant voice on the other side of the phone continued,

"So today you said something, and I'm not sure what you meant by it.

Something about us complementing each other."

Mahiru considered his question, which was less articulate than usual,

and then answered slowly.

"…You and I are always together, right? As long as we're…together like

this, helping each other with our difficulties is the most efficient way to

live…I think."

It almost went without saying, but it was more efficient for the person

who was skilled at a task to be the one to handle it.

If Mahiru tried to do physical labor, it would take a while, and there

might even be things that she simply could not do with her feminine

physique.

When it came to cooking, if Amane did it, some ingredients would go to

waste, and it might take extra time.

With the two of them there, they could make things easier by each

taking charge of their areas of specialty, so it was obvious that that was

what they should do.

When Mahiru answered in a soft, sleepy voice, Amane mumbled "…

Yeah, like, that's true, but that wasn't exactly what I wanted to ask."

So then what are you asking…?

But instead of actually asking the question, Mahiru made a faint

questioning sound in her throat, and an answer didn't seem forthcoming

from Amane.

"No, never mind… If I ask you for the precise nuance, I might just die."

"…Why…?"

"I just will. It's fine, don't worry about it. I don't need to know."

Refusing so politely was Amane's way of clearly saying he wasn't going

to answer any more questions about it.

When he got like this, Amane hardly ever said any more, no matter how

she persisted, so it was best not to question him too insistently. He usually

just said "It's fine" to pacify Mahiru.

"Never mind about me… More importantly, Mahiru, you must be

sleepy?"

He could probably tell from her voice that Mahiru was losing her battle

against sleep.

"Well, it's about time to hang up—"

"…No. Just a little longer…"

Even Mahiru thought she sounded a little childish, but she wanted to

hear Amane's voice for just a little bit longer.

She hardly ever got a chance like this.

A chance to doze off while concentrating on Amane's voice.

Her fading sense of reason told her that she should stop this, that there

must be limits to her selfishness, but all of her hesitation melted right away

when she heard his gentle voice say, "Okay."

Relieved by his acceptance, she nervously leaned close to her

smartphone, which she had laid down on top of the sheets, holding her

chest, which was tingling with warmth.

"…Amane, your voice is so calming and nice to listen to."

"I think that's the first time I've ever been told that."

"Oh, really…? It's a soft, kind voice; I feel like I'm floating."

The quality of his voice, mellow and clear and not too low, was

earnestly gentle, mild, and indulgent.

Listening to those gentle whispers, mixed with quiet sighing, made her

feel as though all of the strength was flowing right out of her body.

It wasn't an unpleasant feeling; in fact, it felt nice.

His warm voice was only for her ears, and not for anyone else. It slowly

lulled her into a sea of sleepiness on a tide of joy.

His voice permeated her body and gave her the sensation that she was

floating on a cloud.

…I want to hear more.

She wanted him to say her name in that voice.

"…Is it really that nice?"

"Amane, your voice…I really…love it. I want you to…call my name…

more…"

Hearing him say her name was her favorite thing.

Before she met Amane, nobody had really called her by her first name.

Despite not loving their own child, Mahiru's parents had nevertheless

put some thought into her name, combining the character for morning from

her father's name and the character for evening from her mother's to give

her a name that invoked the afternoon. She had never liked it.

But ever since meeting and falling in love with Amane, she had come to

appreciate her own name.

She really loved it when Amane called her simply Mahiru, not "the

angel" or the last name that marked her as a member of the Shiina family.

Hearing him whisper it like this made her so, so happy.

It was a warm, fuzzy feeling.

As her thoughts drifted, Mahiru asked him to call her name.

She heard a noise from the other end of the call, and it almost sounded

as if Amane had caught his breath or was having trouble swallowing

something, which made Mahiru tilt her head to the side in puzzlement.

"Mahiru, listen—"

Amane said her name in a tone of voice like he had something he

wanted to tell her, and Mahiru closed her eyes without really knowing why.

She felt as if she would be able to concentrate on his voice like that.

In a peaceful, blissful mood, she directed all her focus to her sense of

hearing and could faintly make out the sound of breathing, like a quiet sigh.

"…No, don't worry about it."

He started to say something, then, sure enough, gave up on it and

stopped talking. The phone speaker just vibrated with the quiet sound of his

breath.

Even that regular rhythm was a delight to Mahiru, and she hummed

contentedly and gave up on catching hold of her gently wavering thoughts.

She simply drifted along in the comfortable silence.

As she nodded off, her own thoughts drifted even further afield, but

somehow she perceived that as someone else's problem.

"Mahiru?"

After a short silence that had seemed very long to Mahiru, she heard

Amane speak carefully, as though he was checking on her, in a voice that

threatened to disappear into a little sigh.

Knowing that she had to answer, Mahiru tried to raise her voice, but a

feeling of restful weariness would not permit her to give voice to any more

words. She tried with all her might to speak up and only produced a quiet,

hoarse moan.

Amane let out a sigh that sounded like a gentle laugh.

"…Good night, Mahiru."

With his voice, even gentler and sweeter than before, slowly tickling her

eardrums, Mahiru could no longer hold out, and she surrendered herself to

the irresistible drowsiness.

The following evening, when Mahiru went over to Amane's place as she

always did after getting home from school and changing her clothes, she

found that Amane was looking somewhat sullen.

He was waiting for her in the hallway before the living room, and he

was obviously in a grumpy mood.

"So listen, don't you think it would be best to use restraint when it

comes to phone calls before bed?"

At school, he had been giving her looks as though he had something he

wanted to say, but of course she couldn't walk right up and ask him there,

so she had been planning to do so once they were alone together. But…she

had never expected him to complain, and she frowned.

Is it possible that I made a mistake calling Amane yesterday…? Could

he be offended that I fell asleep during the phone call that I initiated…?

She was the one who had called him, but partway through the call, she

had been struck by drowsiness, and her memory of their conversation got

hazy.

She had been halfway asleep, so she didn't really remember what she

had said. Perhaps she had said something to antagonize Amane.

She wanted to believe that she hadn't said anything strange, but when

she saw the way that Amane was glaring at her, she lost her confidence.

"D-did I say something careless…?"

"Not necessarily, but letting people see you or hear you when you're

half-asleep is all pretty risky, I think."

He cautioned her very seriously, in a somewhat stiff tone of voice.

Mahiru felt a sudden upwelling of regret and was convinced she had gone

too far.

"I'm sorry, if my voice was unpleasant—"

"That's not it… It was…too relaxed, so I think it's unwise to let other

people hear it."

"…Too relaxed?"

"Anyway, you can't. It's no good."

"…Even with you on the other end? If you don't like it…"

"It's not that I don't like it, it's just that…you shouldn't do it. Especially

with me on the other end. My heart just can't take it, and I really… I just

can't deal with it, okay?"

"Can't deal with it?"

"Never mind."

Mahiru shot Amane a look of unconcealed displeasure when he tried to

avoid giving her a complete answer. But Amane seemed unlikely to give in

and simply insisted, "Anyway, you just can't."

Upset by her utter lack of progress, Mahiru banged her balled-up fists

softly against his upper arm in open protest.

She got the feeling that he was hiding something important, and it made

her uncomfortable.

She searched Amane's face for an explanation, quite anxious that she

had inadvertently said something strange, and Amane frowned, looking

troubled, and then sighed loudly.

Mahiru began to tremble, convinced that his sigh had come from a place

of disgust, when Amane gently reached for her.

Slowly, his bony fingers gently brushed aside a piece of hair that was

hanging over her cheek. She could feel the cool air on her exposed ear as

Amane bent forward a little and slowly brought his face close to hers.

"Mahiru, enough. You just shouldn't…okay?"

He was so close, and his gentle, charming voice and firm-but-soothing

tone sent a strange, tingly shock shooting up her spine.

"Wah?!" An awkward squeak escaped Mahiru's mouth.

The sensation running through her body was less of a chill and more like

an enticing sort of electricity she had never felt before.

His voice snatched away all the strength from her body and made her

weak in the knees, as if she was melting from the inside out. She nearly fell

on her rump right then and there, whereupon Amane immediately put an

arm around her back and pulled her toward him, and she plunged into his

chest.

She moved her mouth, but her voice didn't come out right.

…What a voice…

Both she and Amane made noises that they could never let other people

hear.

Mahiru's because it was terribly pathetic. And Amane's because—

"…Are you all right?" Amane asked in a concerned tone as Mahiru's

body went limp.

He picked her up in his arms and carried her to the sofa in her weakened

state.

He moved more easily than before, and in a small corner of her heart,

she was impressed by how much he had changed, while at the same time,

his line from earlier played repeatedly in her mind, and the admiration she

felt all transformed into a violently throbbing ache in her chest.

Amane looked at Mahiru, who was in a rough state, her heart still

thumping loudly, and mumbled quietly, "Mahiru, your ears are super

sensitive, huh?"

In a panic, Mahiru grabbed on to the hem of Amane's clothes, after he

took a seat next to her.

"N-no, this is, um, because your voice…"

"My voice?"

"…It's extremely…not good. Very not okay at all."

She stared up at Amane beside her, wondering when he had learned to

produce a voice with so much allure. Amane's eyes widened in a look of

amazement, and then he sighed dramatically.

"…I also got the feeling that our conversation yesterday was a different

type of thing, so I think that goes for both of us, but—"

"Ah—"

"Anyway, we shouldn't do it again. Okay?"

Before she could ask for details, he grabbed her gently by the shoulders,

and this time he spoke to her in a voice that was simply kind, looking her

directly in the eyes as if he were trying to persuade a child of something, so

Mahiru nodded meekly. If she had disagreed, he probably would have taken

advantage of their proximity to whisper in her ear again until she

acquiesced.

Mahiru was also having a hard time grappling with feelings she didn't

quite understand, so she figured that it was best to withdraw gracefully. And

when she gave Amane a dissatisfied look, he gently but sternly raised his

hand up to Mahiru's ear to discourage her. She understood that he was

telling her that for her own good, that she shouldn't bring up this topic

again, and she held her tongue.

…Somehow, I feel like I'm the one who's become more aware of him and

not the other way around.

She had tried calling Amane on the phone in order to get him to notice

her, but ultimately, she was the one who ended up noticing new things about

him.

All she had managed to do was to show him that her heart throbbed for

him and she couldn't calm down, so it was probably safe to say that her

scheme was a failure.

Even as she thought that things really weren't going well, the fact of the

matter was that she was content to have learned about a side of Amane that

she normally never saw or heard and to have settled down to sleep with a

very happy feeling after being able to hear his voice right before bed. This

was probably better than both of them becoming overly aware of the other

and things getting awkward.

"…That's just a little bit disappointing," she mumbled quietly, then

swallowed any last wisps of shame and shut her mouth tight.