Saying Goodbye to My Cowardly Self

Early June—Amane's school held their Sports Day during the time of year when the

weather starts becoming more humid.

Unlike Field Day in elementary and middle school, high school Sports Day wasn't much

of a harmonious and happy event—if anything, it was more like an extension of their

usual gym class. No parents or guardians came to cheer them on.

Even so, it was one of the few yearly events run by the school, and a certain part of the

student body was always filled with excitement. Especially the underclassmen in the

athletic clubs, as they always eagerly embraced the opportunity to show off their

abilities to their upperclassmen.

On the other hand, most of the students who belonged to cultural clubs showed no

interest at all.

Amane, a member of the so-called "go-home club," fit best in the second group.

"What a pain."

Amane smiled secretly to himself when he heard another student in the same tent

with him grumble quietly.

Although similarly uninterested in the happenings, Amane wasn't so put off that he

was going to let it show. Instead, he'd chosen to maintain a composed expression.

Fortunately, he had been assigned to the events he'd requested and wasn't going to

end up running around in circles or anything. The only running around he was going

to be doing would be during the cavalry battle that all the boys were going to take part

in.

Yuuta, who was on the same red team as Amane and who was sitting in the tent with

him, gave Amane a look of surprise. "You don't seem that unhappy, Fujimiya. I thought

for sure you hated this stuff."

"Well, I got the events I wanted, and I don't have anything else to do now, so it's not so

bad. Though I do think that studying would be more fun."

"I think that's a pretty unusual opinion, I'd imagine…"

Kazuya had overheard them from nearby. "Seems like Fujimiya's excellent grades are

balanced out by not being so great at sports," he said. "Guess that's how it goes

sometimes."

Amane couldn't deny that and smiled bitterly. It was the truth, but having someone

else point it out gave him mixed feelings. He appreciated the compliment regarding

his academic abilities, but he couldn't help but long to excel in both school and sports.

"I've been good about following the training regimen that Kadowaki gave me, but I've

been thinking maybe I should put together a slightly more demanding program,"

Amane said.

"Hmm, well, the workout that we do is meant for athletes, so I think you should stick

with your current program, if you're just training for your health," Yuuta replied. "If

we lived a little closer together, I would go jogging and stuff with you, though."

"There's no way that I could match your speed and strength, Kadowaki."

"He's right," Makoto said with a weary look on his face. "Don't you remember how I

almost died when I went with you, Yuuta? You don't go jogging, you go running." He

had accompanied Yuuta on runs before.

Makoto wasn't one of the sports club types; he was actually a member of the

astronomy club. He was slim, small enough to be described as dainty, and his skin was

pale. He didn't look like he was capable of much exertion.

That said, Amane knew that dainty and small Mahiru was capable of intense exercise,

so the rule didn't always hold.

"Nah, I think Fujimiya can do it," Yuuta said. "Sounds like you didn't get that tired when

you used to run marathons and stuff."

"I've been training recently, working hard so that I don't get weak when I get older, but

I'm no match for a real athlete!"

"You are the only one who's already thinking about getting old…"

"You're a strange guy, Fujimiya. No, maybe I should say you're an interesting guy."

"Was that supposed to be a compliment?"

Kazuya has an honest, sincere personality, and his way of speaking is straightforward.

He's direct and doesn't hold back.

Amane had come to understand this since they started hanging out.

"I'm pretty sure that was supposed to be a compliment," Yuuta answered for him.

"In that case, thanks."

"Don't mention it."

"What are you all even talking about…?"

Makoto wasn't trying to hide his exasperation, but there wasn't any ridicule in his

words either, just simple frustration, as well as a slight tinge of genuine amusement.

"Now, now. Kazuya has always been a bit of an airhead," Yuuta said.

"I don't think I'm an airhead…"

"That's 'cause the person in question is the only one who can't tell. It's fine, Kazuya,

don't worry about it. You're perfect just the way you are."

"Hmph. Really?"

Kazuya seemed happy to accept that answer and didn't argue any further.

"You're okay with that…?" Amane mumbled, and looked toward the sports grounds.

Out on the field, students had been running the short distance races.

Judging from the length of the track, they were doing the hundred-meter dash. The

first heat seemed to have finished already, and the second one was starting to line up.

The next heat was a girls' group, and there were a few fast girls on the red team,

including a familiar face with reddish-brown hair.

"I thought Chitose quit the track and field club. Is she really that fast?" Amane asked.

"Yeah, Shirakawa is really fast," Yuuta answered. "In middle school, she was a track

club ace, you know."

"Huh, really?"

"Mm. Though she didn't join the club in high school. She said it was a pain in the butt

always fighting with the upperclassmen."

"I guess this is where I make a joke about what caused the fights?"

"Well, hmm, there's kind of a story behind it… but I guess you could say she got

discouraged or just tired of it."

"…Tired?"

"There were issues when she started dating Itsuki. How should I explain it…? Well,

there was an upperclassman on the track team who also liked Itsuki, see, and on top

of that, Shirakawa's times were faster than theirs… It created some tension, and one

thing led to another, get it?"

"Ah, I see now."

The two of them were well known in their grade as a couple, but Amane had heard

from Itsuki that during middle school, before they'd started dating, he had pursued

Chitose fervently.

Apparently, Chitose had had a much cooler personality back then, and it had taken

Itsuki quite some time to convince her to go out with him.

It wasn't difficult to imagine the upperclassman fighting with Chitose over Itsuki once

she realized what was going on.

"She said that all the obligations of a club were annoying and decided not to join, I

guess. But you know, she still likes running because I often spot her running on the

weekends."

Yuuta added that they lived in the same neighborhood, then smiled and looked over

at Chitose, who had taken her stance for a crouching start.

From Amane's perspective as a near beginner, Chitose's stance seemed masterful,

even beautiful.

Her expression, seen from a distance, was not her usual carefree joking smile but a

sharp and serious look.

The sound of the start gun echoed across the grounds.

The moment it did, Chitose was off, sprinting faster than anyone else.

She ran like the wind, with a form that anyone would have agreed was lovely to watch,

leaving even the current members of the track and field club behind.

Her hair streamed behind her in soft waves as her body moved intently forward. Her

feet pounded the ground with surprising force as she headed for the goal, faster than

any of the other runners.

Amane watched transfixed as Chitose cut through the goal tape before he even knew

it.

Chitose, who had run the course the fastest, held up the first-place flag and looked

toward the red team… toward where Amane was, with a big grin.

Waving the flag in the air with satisfaction, she made even him feel happy to be part

of the team.

Once the hundred-meter dash was over and Chitose came back to the tent, she had her

chest puffed up with pride.

"I'm baaack! Did you see me?"

"We did, we did. You were fast!"

"Yay, thanks!"

"You sure were. It feels great to watch you run, Shirakawa."

Chitose looked very pleased to receive compliments from two current members of the

track and field club.

Even Amane offered some words of praise. "Good job, you were flying."

She had been so much faster than he had expected that he could scarcely believe it.

But Chitose didn't seem all that excited about it. She smiled in a carefree manner. "Ahh,

that was fun."

She looked more like herself, without any air of tension about her. It was completely

different than how she'd looked while she was running. Amane smiled in relief.

"But man, you're as fast as ever, Shirakawa."

"Heh-heh, that's because training is part of my daily routine. Though I'm not as fast as

I was during my club days."

It was a surprise to hear that she had been even faster during middle school. Somehow

Amane had surrounded himself with people who had outstanding physical and mental

capabilities; it made the average Amane feel very jealous.

Kazuya had also attended the same middle school as Yuuta and the others, but since

he wasn't a member of the track and field club, he had also been surprised to see her

run so quickly.

"I've always wondered this, but how do you move so fast? I guess you don't have much

surface area, so that must really reduce the air resistance?"

"Hey, Kazu, what exactly do you mean by 'not much surface area'?"

"Hmm? I'm talking about your height."

Kazuya looked at Chitose with innocent eyes, as if to ask what else he might possibly

be referring to, and she frowned back at him.

Her expression was probably not one of anger but of embarrassment. Amane had no

doubt she had thought he was talking about her chest.

While Chitose was not as petite as Mahiru, she wasn't exactly tall, either. She was a bit

taller than the average girl, but not quite as tall as the other runners. On top of that,

she was undeniably slim, so Kazuya must have been surprised by how fast she was.

Amane didn't detect any ulterior motive from the way Kazuya was behaving, so

Chitose had just jumped to the wrong conclusion.

"You played yourself on that one, Shirakawa."

"Shut up, Mako."

Chitose's cheeks suddenly flushed red, and she slapped Makoto playfully on the back

as she sat down next to him. Amane smirked just a little, so that she wouldn't spot him.

Amane only needed to compete in the ball toss and scavenger hunt, which were both

exhibition events, as well as the cavalry battle that all the boys participated in, so he

had plenty of time to kill.

Other students who were overflowing with enthusiasm had requested more than two

events, but Amane didn't share their zeal. He had only picked two, plus the all-hands

match.

The ball toss was already over.

It wasn't an exciting game, just a matter of throwing balls into a basket that was placed

up high.

There was usually a scramble to get to the balls to toss into the basket, but there were

also usually plenty of balls to go around, so nobody took the event that seriously

anyway. It had been a peaceful contest from beginning to end.

It was just a matter of picking up several balls, turning around and piling them up,

then tossing them all in, and repeating. A simple task that didn't attract any attention.

But either Amane's aim was more precise, or he'd been more successful at collecting

the balls, because he ended up with the most in his basket at the end.

"You really went for the bland events, didn't you, Amane?" Chitose remarked.

"Oh, hush. It's about time for your shift, isn't it? Get going."

"Oh, right. Executive committee members sure are busy…" she grumbled as she looked

over her schedule, before heading for the management tent.

Amane wondered why she had volunteered in the first place, but it was too late to say

anything.

As Chitose jogged away, Amane checked the agenda for the day, which was posted on

one of the tent poles nearby.

The morning program would be over after a few more events. The scavenger hunt, the

last event that Amane was participating in as an individual, was one of them.

Once those were finished, everyone would break for lunch before moving on to the

afternoon program.

As far as he knew, after his event was over, he would have nothing to do until the

cavalry battle in the afternoon.

"…So that means Chitose's in charge during the scavenger hunt, I guess?"

Since she had gone to take her shift just then, that probably meant she would be

directing the remaining events. It was a safe bet that she would be judging that one as

well… Amane had a feeling Chitose had set it up that way on purpose.

He didn't know who had thought up the scavenger hunt items, but he had a hunch that

they were most likely weird and started to feel a little nervous.

Reluctantly, he headed for the assembly spot for the event. When he arrived, Mahiru

was already standing there quietly. She had also gotten her choice of events.

He didn't have any particular reason to speak to her, so Amane didn't approach her,

but when he made eye contact with her, she smiled faintly and nodded in greeting.

In public, they treated each other as strangers, but Mahiru's real smile revealed itself

just a little bit through her placid expression, and Amane's heart jumped in his chest.

He returned the greeting with a blank look on his face, but he couldn't deny feeling

somewhat uncomfortable.

As Chitose gathered the participants for the scavenger hunt and finished her duties as

a Sports Day administrator, she kept peeking at Amane and Mahiru, looking very

pleased.

When it was time for the event to begin, the referee—in this case, that designation

belonged to Chitose—entered the grounds.

The field was already scattered with several folded pieces of paper, and when the start

signal was given, all the contestants had to do was to pick up one of those slips and go

get the things that were written on them.

Unlike the other running events, the scavenger hunt was almost relaxing. The goal was

to have fun borrowing the necessary items, so it wasn't that serious of a race.

But depending on the objects, sometimes they were embarrassing to collect, and that

was something to watch out for.

"All participants, please take your places at the starting line!"

Chitose smartly issued instructions through a microphone. She made a great master

of ceremonies when she wasn't messing around. She had a cheerful personality and

could read the mood well. Plus, her voice was easy to hear, clear, and not too highpitched, which was ideal for making announcements.

Surely she wasn't going to prank them now, Amane thought, not with all the students

and staff watching.

"On your marks!" she signaled.

The actual starting pistol was in the hands of another official, a boy—Chitose was just

doing the countdown.

"Get set!" Chitose said, then after a pause, the sound of the gun echoed across the field.

No matter how many times he had heard it before, that sound nearly gave Amane a

heart attack. Trying not to let it show, he jogged slowly over to the pile of papers.

The faster contestants had already opened up their papers and read what was written

on them. Amane followed suit, picking up one of them and checking inside.

Written in meticulous handwriting were the words Someone you find beautiful.

Amane had predicted something like this, that they might be sent to retrieve people

rather than objects.

He wanted to make a quip about who might have come up with the idea. Fortunately,

even Amane would be able to clear this challenge, if only just barely.

He hadn't drawn a paper that said The person you like, which would have given him

serious trouble. Amane figured he could fulfill the challenge by finding anyone who

was objectively attractive.

In other words, someone who anyone would recognize as a beauty… He could call out

to Mahiru. Once Mahiru was done collecting her item, they just had to go to the goal

together and he could score his points as well.

He was sure to attract a lot of attention being with Mahiru, but he would only be

following his instructions. He knew that once everyone heard the item he was

supposed to retrieve, they would agree he made the appropriate choice.

With that thought in mind, Amane looked around for Mahiru, who had probably

already set off to find her item, when… from beside him, someone grabbed his T-shirt.

He felt a tug on his sleeve and turned around to see who it was.

His eyes fell on the person he had just been looking for, staring at him shyly.

"Fujimiya, you are my scavenger hunt item, so when you're finished finding yours, I'd

like to ask you to come with me."

"Huh, me?"

"Yes."

He had never imagined they would be each other's object.

In a way, it was convenient, but he had a feeling they were going to draw a lot of

attention—but he was already talking with Mahiru in the very center of the athletic

field, and they had people already watching them.

On the other side of the finish line, Chitose, the judge, was watching them with a grin.

I'll remember that later.

The words on the scavenger hunt slips were in Chitose's handwriting, so she had

probably planted a certain number of them. Amane didn't know what exactly Mahiru

had drawn, but since she said she specifically needed him, he was sure she had gotten

something nonnegotiable.

"Uhh… what's your item, anyway?" Amane asked.

"It's a secret," she replied. Even though their papers were going to be read aloud after

they got to the goal, Mahiru wasn't going to tell him what she was looking for.

So Amane sighed, and they headed toward the finish line.

"You're my item, too, so let's hurry."

"…Then I should ask you, what is your item, Fujimiya?"

"It's a secret."

Mahiru smiled slightly when he answered in the same way.

"I see, then I'm looking forward to finding out after we reach the goal," Mahiru

whispered, and took Amane's hand.

Seemingly unbothered by the noise all around them, Mahiru headed for the goal with

Amane in tow.

Amane felt a stomachache coming on, but when he saw how cheerful Mahiru was,

there was nothing he could do about it—he was but a coward who was madly in love.

A subtle sense that something was amiss washed over Amane as they ran across the

field. When they got to the goal, the two of them were greeted by Chitose, who seemed

to be in a good mood.

Amane couldn't help but make a face when he saw her, but she didn't seem to pay it

any mind.

"What's this, a teaming up?" she marveled. "And here I thought both of you were rivals

in this scavenger hunt…"

"Chitose, you jerk, standing over here grinning like a fool. We're both each other's

item!"

"Uh-huuuh! All right then, let me confirm your items. Who's first?"

"Start with Fujimiya, please."

Amane was surprised to hear Mahiru single him out, but Chitose seemed to

understand why. She gestured to the paper Amane was holding, indicating that he

should hand it over.

It wasn't anything that he particularly needed to hide, so Amane readily showed her

the item he was looking for.

Chitose made a slightly disappointed face when she saw what was written.

But she pulled herself back together and brought her mouth to the microphone with

a smile. "I'm just confirming the item now. The first task for the red team was to find…

'someone you find beautiful'!"

An atmosphere of relief spread through the crowd when the item was read out.

Really, Mahiru had been a safe choice. As far as Amane knew, there was no one in

school more beautiful than her—and of course, she was the cutest in his eyes. Setting

aside Amane's personal opinion, though, nobody would think twice about his choice.

Amane had felt some animosity directed at him when he'd crossed the goal with

Mahiru, but it seemed to have subsided somewhat with the revelation of his object.

The problem lay with Mahiru's item.

Amane didn't know what was written on her slip of paper, but if it somehow

specifically indicated him, he couldn't help but feel whatever it was, it wouldn't be

good for his quiet student life.

Chitose took Mahiru's paper, blinked several times, then looked at Mahiru again.

Amane couldn't see the words from where he was standing, but he could see the

apprehension on Chitose's face. "It's okay for me to say this, right?"

What on earth was the prompt?

After seeing Chitose's reaction, it was even less clear to him now.

Mahiru was still wearing a gentle smile. In other words, she had no problem with

Chitose reading it out loud.

After having confirmed again, Chitose donned her usual smug grin.

"Okay, moving right along, they got to the goal at the same time, but anyway, the first

task for the white team was to find… 'someone important to you'!"

The moment that Chitose's voice echoed across the grounds, a commotion erupted

among the students.

Amane reflexively looked at Mahiru—she was staring right back at him, with her lightpink lips arched upward in a smile.

It was the smile of a child who'd just pulled off some grand prank, with a bit of

bashfulness mixed in.

Amane was certain she was peering over to gauge his reaction when he learned what

she was looking for.

That cheeky little devil…

Surely it would have been easy for prudent, thoughtful Mahiru to anticipate how their

classmates would react to her prompt. Despite that, Mahiru had selected Amane as

her object. She'd done it in order to bring about a change in their relationship.

From now on, they could never be strangers again.

She was looking at him with her true smile, the one she showed him at home, not the

beautiful, angelic smile that she always had on at school.

Amane grumbled, "We're definitely going to get bombarded with questions after this,"

and ran his hand roughly through his hair.

"What the hell was that, Fujimiya?"

Sure enough, once the morning events had ended and all the students had returned to

their classrooms for lunch, every boy in Amane's class crowded around his desk.

Mahiru, the unattainable girl they all adored, had selected Amane as her "important

person" in front of the whole school. Amane understood why they were upset, but

being suddenly pressed for answers was still quite vexing.

"Why were you with Shiina?! As her 'important person'?"

"More importantly, since when?"

"You were never that close, right?! You just recently started eating lunch together?!"

"What is it?! What is it that she likes about you?!"

"I can't understand it at all!"

Amane faced this rapid barrage of questions with a glassy look in his eyes. Honestly,

he had expected some manner of cross-examination, but under the scrutiny of the

other boys, he wasn't even going to have time to eat lunch.

The boys weren't the only ones reacting to the news. The girls in his class weren't

taking part in the interrogating, but they were shooting him looks, evaluating him,

seeming somewhat amused and relieved.

It was probably because Mahiru, the most popular girl in class, now only had eyes for

him. Their looks of appraisal were attempts to figure out what kind of person Mahiru

had given her heart to.

Amane, who was the focus of attention throughout the classroom, was extremely

uncomfortable.

Mahiru herself was absent—she'd gone to buy a sports drink from a vending machine.

Itsuki and Yuuta wore troubled smiles as they watched the energetic crowd from a

short distance away, and Chitose was enjoying the spectacle with some degree of

excitement.

Suppressing the urge to curse his friends for being so insensitive, Amane faced the

crowd, doing his best to remain composed in front of his classmates. If he wasn't going

to be able to run away anymore, he would have to accept his fate.

Besides, it wasn't like he could disregard Mahiru's feelings. He couldn't ignore the step

that Mahiru had taken or the hand that she had extended to him.

He still wasn't especially confident, but even so, he didn't want to dismiss Mahiru's

bravery in announcing her feelings publicly. With all that in mind, Amane slowly

opened his mouth to speak.

"I can't answer your questions if you shout them all at once," he said, "so at least ask

one at a time."

Amane figured that in any case, it would be better to tell the truth from his own mouth

than to have people spread rumors willy-nilly, so he steeled his nerves and looked

straight at them. The other boys winced.

They hadn't expected Amane to take a proactive stance and open up. It would probably

be more accurate to say they hadn't wanted to imagine it.

"…Since when have you been good friends with Shiina?"

"Since last year," Amane answered with as little enthusiasm as possible. He knew that

he would have to confess that he was the mystery man who was with Mahiru, a fact

which he had previously hidden.

"Huh? Ah, then tell me, the guy we heard rumors about, who was with her at the shrine

visit and over Golden Week, was he…?'

"…Me, yeah."

Once he admitted that, it should have been easy for his classmates to make the

connection between the "important person" who Mahiru had mentioned before with

the "important person" she had just revealed.

Just then, the girl who had apparently seen them on their holiday outing turned to

look at Amane, and he looked away uncomfortably.

He felt a little bummed that everyone knew he was the mystery man now, but Mahiru

had said that she thought he looked cool, so he was happy enough with that for now.

Amane keenly felt the scrutinizing looks grow more intense as he looked out over the

crowd of classmates with the calmest expression he could possibly muster.

"H-how did you become friends?"

"Yeah, you hardly ever interacted! But the real question is why did you pretend to be

strangers at first?"

"Well, we live in the same neighborhood, so that's how we know each other," Amane

explained. "And the reason why we acted like strangers was because I knew that

people would make a fuss just like you're doing now and probably ask a bunch of

prying questions."

There was a wave of understanding and sympathetic murmurs from the crowd when

he pointed that out. He hadn't said anything because he knew they would react like

this. Still, someone must have been unhappy with the idea of their friendship and

grumbled, "I don't get it…"

Amane didn't particularly want them to understand, so he let it go.

"…So, Fujimiya, you're dating Shiina?"

One of his classmates asked the question that was probably on everybody's mind.

Amane smiled calmly.

"We are close, and I'm confident that we're each important to the other, but we're not

dating. I just wish we were."

He wasn't going to use the word love.

After everything that had happened, he only wanted to say that word to the person it

was meant for. Truthfully, the scope of his affection for her included many feelings that

couldn't all be conveyed by a simple phrase. However, if he wanted to be

straightforward, the best way to do it was to say those words to her.

He felt like he was attending his own public execution, but he was at ease knowing

there was no need to hide anymore and that he had been able to be outwardly honest.

"But you said that you weren't interested in the angel."

"That wasn't a lie. I have no interest in any angel. Because the one I have eyes for is a

girl, named Mahiru Shiina."

The person Amane loved wasn't an angel who was brilliant in both academics and

sports, with an attractive face and figure, who was reserved and ladylike and

extremely popular. The person he loved more than anyone else was a girl who worked

hard, who was lonely because of her bad habit of pushing other people away, who was

highly wary, yet extremely vulnerable when she let her guard down—just an ordinary

girl, who was wonderful in a completely normal way.

He loved her, not as the angel, but for everything she was inside. To Amane, the

heavenly mask that Mahiru wore held no interest at all.

In response to Amane's decisive statement, one of the more assertive boys made an

astonished face. With his eyebrows raised, he began to open his mouth to speak.

"Please don't torment him too much, okay?"

The boy froze before he could say anything.

Amane's savior was the other individual at the center of the scandal—Mahiru. She had

just returned to the classroom holding a sports drink that was damp with condensation.

When she made eye contact with Amane, Mahiru smiled gently.

"Amane will be troubled if he's not able to eat lunch during the afternoon break."

Mahiru called him by his first name, something only a close friend would do. She

clearly had no intention of hiding their relationship any longer.

She showed no signs of being bothered by anyone's gawking—boys and girls alike.

Seeming to have run out of patience, the same assertive boy stepped toward her.

The crowd made way for him, sensing that he was going to speak for everybody and

ask the questions they all wanted the answers to. Amane's cross-examination was on

hold for the moment.

"Shiina! Is Fujimiya your 'important person'?" asked the boy.

"Amane is very important me, yes."

Mahiru had on the same gentle expression as she answered decisively.

The boy flinched for a second when she plastered on her flawless angel smile, but he

must have felt the pressure of the crowd behind him, because he continued, albeit a

little less forcefully.

"S-so then, um… does that mean that you… like him?"

"Supposing that I do, what would you have to say about it?"

"W-well, it's just… um, if you were going to fall in love… I want to know, why Fujimiya?"

"Why Fujimiya?"

"Ah, well, um, the idea that boring old Fujimiya is dating you, Shiina, it just feels wrong.

There are better guys out there!"

"Is that so?"

Amane stared off into space, anticipating trouble. He knew that the boy had

inadvertently just set off a land mine.

Mahiru hated it when Amane put himself down. She also said that she hated his

unfairly given poor reputation. Which meant that she hated it when other people

talked badly about him.

Amane knew that most of his classmates thought he was a very dull person. Unlike

when he was with Mahiru, he never really showed his true personality at school. So

he thought it was a fair judgment.

But when it came to whether Mahiru would be able to accept that appraisal, that was

a different matter.

The look on Mahiru's face did not change. It was the same angelic smile she always

wore at school.

But the tension in the air around her was palpable. There was a dangerous glint in her

caramel-colored eyes, faint enough that someone close to her would just barely be

able to make it out.

"Well, um—"

"And exactly what about him is so boring?"

"Ah, well—"

"Would you please tell me, specifically, what about him is unsatisfactory?"

"Like, his attitude, and his l-l-looks, and—"

"Do you choose who you love based on their face?

"N-no, but—"

"Do you fall in love with people based only on their physical appearance? Will you

select your future long-term partner based on how pretty they look?"

As she spoke, Mahiru was still wearing her angelic smile. Despite the friendly

expression, Amane could feel tension radiating off of her. He could tell that Mahiru was

getting angry.

Amane could feel the irritation even from a distance, so the boy she was staring down

probably felt like he was drowning in it.

Indeed, he seemed to have sensed that she was displeased, even as she continued

smiling.

Amane could only see the boy's back, but he could tell that his classmate was almost

cowering.

"W-well…"

"Actually, in the first place, I don't think you have any right to tell anyone why they can

or cannot fall in love with someone else."

The words that came from Mahiru's lips, which were still in a gentle smile, had a

sharpness to them that contrasted with her mild tone.

She was still smiling, but she was angry enough that now everyone, not just Amane,

could tell.

"I've been a little too harsh, haven't I?" she said. "My apologies."

Mahiru saw that her classmate had become speechless, and she finally eased up a

little, giving him an annoyed yet gentle smile. The boy confronting her seemed quite

flustered once he realized that he had made Mahiru, who was always mild-mannered

and cheerful, quite annoyed.

"I'll take the liberty to correct your statements. Amane is a kind and attractive person.

I also think that his quiet, warm presence is simply wonderful. Besides that, he is very

gentlemanly, and he always treats me with utmost respect. He's a wonderful person.

He supports me when I'm having a hard time and is deeply considerate of my feelings.

And at least he never badmouths anyone or tries to get in the way of someone else's

romance."

Those words she added at the end were the finishing blow—she had more or less

declared that she could never love someone like the boy who had said disparaging

things about Amane to her face.

"Is there anything more that you wish to say?"

With a sweet smile, she cocked her head and prompted him for a reply.

The classmate had obviously had enough. He shook his head, and said in a halting and

vanishingly small voice, "N-no, there's nothing," then backed away from Mahiru on

unsteady feet.

Free from obstructions, Mahiru's gaze landed on Amane.

She had basically announced her love for him in front of all their classmates, and his

face stiffened as he wondered how he ought to profess his feelings to her. Mahiru was

wearing the best smile he had seen on her yet that day.

It was completely different from her angelic smile—it was the sweet smile full of joy

that she showed him at home.

"Let's eat lunch together, Amane."

"…Yeah."

No more boys stepped up to interrogate him.

"…Mahiru really had a lot to say, huh?" Amane mumbled. He had gathered with his

classmates to prepare for the cavalry battle, several events after the start of the

afternoon program.

"I think it's a shame it had to happen like that," Yuuta said.

Amane furrowed his eyebrows at Yuuta's comment.

The two of them were standing some ways away from the tent because it was annoying

to be stared at.

People were still looking his way, but it was at least a little better with some distance.

Yuuta's words implied that Amane should have been the one to make the first move.

Amane had no way to refute him.

"I think I get it, but… were Fujimiya and Shiina really that close?" Makoto asked

curiously. He seemed a little suspicious of Amane and Mahiru's relationship.

"Mm, honestly, I wondered why they weren't already dating!" Yuuta replied. "If

anything, I'm impressed that Shiina was able to hold out this long."

"She really hid it well. Which is understandable, seeing the uproar today at lunch. That

was awful, huh?"

Makoto looked at Amane with pity.

Makoto and Kazuya had been in the classroom, but as one might expect, they hadn't

been able to speak to Amane while he was being surrounded and questioned. Amane

didn't mind, since he wasn't very good friends with them, but he would have

appreciated a little help from Itsuki or Yuuta, at least.

"That was really something else. Those guys looked so pathetic, but man, it felt good

to watch Shiina shut them all down," Kazuya remarked.

"They looked miserable, but I think maybe from their perspective, it was just too hard

to believe…"

"Hmm, you think so? But a guy ought to tell the girl he likes how he feels to her face,

right? So it's pretty difficult to pine after somebody when you're not willing to make a

move. Just wishing you could have whatever you want without taking any risks, and

then whining about it when you don't get your way… it's childish. And then to insult

Fujimiya on top of it all? Beyond pathetic."

Amane couldn't help but groan. The idea that a man should confess his feelings

affected Amane quite deeply.

"Kazuya, something you said is bothering Fujimiya…"

"Well, from what I can see, Fujimiya was already pretty irritated."

"That's because Shiina expressed her feelings first, you see."

That much was obvious.

Now that things had gone so far, neither Amane nor Mahiru could avoid the truth any

longer. There was no question that Mahiru liked Amane.

However, it was clear that the kind of man who sat back without doing anything must

have absolutely no self-respect.

Since Mahiru had expressed her feelings directly, Amane knew he would have to

respond the same way. He'd known what he wanted to say to her for a long time

already; it was just a matter of how to say it.

"I'm planning to tell her properly after we get home. I won't say anything at school."

He felt he should tell her when they were alone, when he could have her all to himself.

Mahiru had already made a public confession, but even so, at least when it came time

for them to convey their feelings to each other, Amane was resolved to do it more

privately.

Kazuya turned to him with a satisfied-looking smile. "Mm, that's the spirit. But first,

we've got some opponents to kick around in the cavalry battle. They're definitely going

to come for us!"

For some reason, Kazuya was grinning gleefully, and Amane gave a strained smile

back.

Makoto, the one who would be riding on all their shoulders, grumbled wearily, "Don't

you think I've got too much responsibility here?" But he sounded more resigned than

upset, which was a bit of a relief. "You just follow Kazuya's example, all right, Fujimiya?

Really give 'em a good beating."

"I'll handle it."

Amane knew that he was supposed to be fired up and full of manly vigor, ready to fight

back any competitors for Mahiru's attention.

I'll tell her everything once we get home.

For that reason and more, Amane hoped he would make it through the afternoon in

one piece. The other three boys looked at each other and smiled.

"That was awful…"

After rinsing off what felt like a cloud of dust in the bath, Amane flopped down on the

sofa with the feeling of fatigue that always followed vigorous exercise.

Sure enough, the opposing teams had hit them hard during the cavalry battle. But it

wasn't a surprise that they would be particularly aggressive toward Amane's team.

Still, it had caused a lot of trouble for Yuuta and the others.

But Kazuya had gleefully exclaimed, "Now this is youth!" wearing a warlike grin, so it

seemed like he enjoyed that kind of fierce competition.

In the end, Amane's team had not been able to hold out in the face of the white team's

terrible attacks, but thanks to the strenuous efforts of Makoto, who had been on top,

they had nevertheless managed to snatch many more of the other team's headbands

than Amane had expected.

Makoto had been the one doing all the work, but Amane had seen Mahiru, watching

from the sideline, smiling at him.

Just like that, the afternoon program ended. Then came the closing ceremony, followed

by the customary cleanup after the event.

Now Amane was home.

In a lot of ways, the day had been too much to handle, and Amane was already

physically and emotionally exhausted. But it wasn't over just yet.

…I have to tell her.

Mahiru had been brave enough to make her relationship with Amane public; she had

chosen to associate herself with him.

He felt like if he failed to respond to her feelings and put off saying anything, he would

be a disgrace to all men.

I wonder how I should say it.

Amane had made up his mind, but he was still plagued by hesitation and indecision. It

was the first time in his life that he was going to earnestly confess his love for someone,

so undoubtedly, he was terrified.

He worried whether the atmosphere was romantic enough for a girl like Mahiru and

pondered how he should communicate his feelings so that she would be happy to hear

them. No answers seemed to come as the questions swirled around and around in his

mind.

Amane pressed his fingers to his forehead, thinking over the possibilities, when—

from the front door, he heard a key in the lock.

The sound made him jump because it signaled that the girl occupying his thoughts,

who held the spare key to his apartment, was coming to visit.

It was the first time that sound coming from the entryway had set his nerves on edge.

The door closed, and he heard it lock.

Then he heard the echo of slippers walking across the floor, like little breaths of air,

and… a familiar girl with flaxen hair appeared in the hallway.

"Amane."

Her light-pink lips were curved gently upward in a tender smile, even sweeter than

usual, as though she hadn't been bothered in the slightest by the uproar at school.

Amane felt his heartbeat quicken.

Whether she knew how agitated he was or not, Mahiru sat down beside him, as she

always did.

There was no more than a hand's breadth of distance between them.

When Mahiru straightened herself up, her hair moved in gentle waves, carrying the

sweet smell of her soap. Like Amane, she had taken a bath to wash off all the sweat. If

he looked carefully, he could see that her milky white skin was even smoother and

cleaner than usual.

Amane's whole body grew tense as Mahiru gave him a refreshing smile.

"Amane, I'm sure you probably have lots of things you want to say to me, and things

you want to ask, but… could I ask you to let me say one thing first?"

"S-sure?"

Amane put up his guard, wondering what it could be all of a sudden. Mahiru bowed

her head.

"I feel guilty for putting you on the spot and putting you through what I imagine was

some very unpleasant attention, Amane. I'm so sorry."

"Huh?"

"…Well, you see," she continued uneasily, "I sort of… knew that would happen."

Amane understood what she had been anxious about. Mahiru knew how influential

she was; that was precisely why she was always so careful about the way she

presented herself.

So when Mahiru had declared in public that Amane was her "important person," it had

been obvious that her announcement would cause a scene, and yet she had done it

anyway, knowing the consequences.

"W-well, I more or less already figured that you knew what would happen when you

did it, so—"

"You're not angry?"

"I'm not."

"I see, thank goodness."

If anything, as far as Amane was concerned, he'd finally made up his mind precisely

because Mahiru had taken the initiative. And now he knew her level of commitment,

so he wasn't upset with her at all.

Besides, Amane had also prepared himself to confess his feelings for Mahiru.

He took a deep breath and stared into Mahiru's eyes. They were even clearer and

calmer than usual, and gentle enough to make him catch his breath.

"Can I apologize for something, too?" he asked.

"For what?"

"…I'm sorry I've been so cowardly."

Before he could tell her how he felt, there was something else he had to say.

"I'm sorry. I knew how you felt, and I couldn't handle it. I looked away and acted like I

didn't notice and pretended like I couldn't see it."

Amane had always vaguely suspected Mahiru had feelings for him, but he had chosen

to ignore them. He'd piled up the excuses, telling himself that he was so pathetic that

she could never love him as he was, and so on.

But he wasn't going to run anymore.

He needed to confront his feelings and Mahiru's. He wanted to tell her the unvarnished

truth.

Amane stared directly at Mahiru, bracing himself so that he wouldn't turn away this

time, and—Mahiru smiled a little.

"Well, that goes for both of us, doesn't it?" she said. "I did the same thing… I mean, if I

wasn't convinced of how you felt, I never could have taken a step like this."

Mahiru quietly reached out and touched Amane's hand. She was still wearing a faint

smile.

"I told you, didn't I?" she said. "I'm a sly one."

"…I don't know. I think I'm slyer."

Amane smiled wryly, thinking that Mahiru's kind of deviousness was awfully cute.

Suddenly, he pulled his hand away from Mahiru's grasp and instead wrapped both

arms around her and embraced her gently.

He felt her delicate body stiffen with surprise, but then she quickly relaxed in his arms.

Mahiru was leaning against his chest and looking up at him. He could see hints of

bewilderment and anticipation in her caramel-colored eyes.

"…Will you let me start?" Amane whispered.

Mahiru nodded, her cheeks slightly flushed, and pressed herself further into his

embrace.

"Um, so, this is my first time seriously falling for anyone. How can I put this…? I never

thought it would happen… I thought it was impossible."

"…Because of your past?"

"Yeah, that's right." He nodded.

He was still embracing Mahiru, not letting her go.

The reluctance that Amane had felt when it came to telling Mahiru that he loved her,

or recognizing that she loved him in return, could be blamed on the lasting effects of

an incident in middle school.

Amane had no confidence, so he had always been too afraid to express affection

toward anyone. When he'd thought about the possibility of being rejected, he had

decided it was better not to form any attachments.

That ended after he met Mahiru.

"Because of that, I thought that I wasn't capable of falling in love with anyone… But I

never expected someone to change that so easily."

He gazed down again at the girl in his arms. Just looking at her filled his chest with

warmth, and he felt like he might overflow with bashful affection.

Mahiru was the first and possibly the last person who would make him feel this way.

That was how in love he was.

"I've realized that people can change when they meet someone they love."

Amane had certainly changed since meeting Mahiru. Thanks to her, he'd finally been

able to start breaking free of the wall he had built around his heart and had learned to

accept himself bit by bit. The feeling of falling in love with someone had also given rise

to the desire to be loved. He had come to know the feeling of wanting to hold someone

in his arms and cherish them.

"…You know, at first, I didn't think you had much charm," he admitted.

"I know. You told me to my face."

"I'm sorry about that, really."

Back then, neither of them had thought too highly of the other, and he had said some

rude things to her. Mahiru had probably also thought that Amane was an unfriendly,

undisciplined loser.

"…You know, when we met, you wouldn't open up to me. You were so distant, but I

figured it was okay as long as we got along all right… But before I knew it, that wasn't

enough anymore."

When they first met, Amane hadn't wanted to get pointlessly involved with Mahiru. He

wondered when that had changed.

"I came to feel like I wanted to learn more about you. I wanted to get to know you.

From the bottom of my heart, I wanted to cherish you. I… wanted to be with you. That

was the first time I'd ever felt like that."

"…I see."

"I've been holding back this whole time. But… you told me I was enough, so I didn't

give up. I tried to think about what I could do to become a better person for you. But,

well, before I could do anything, you took the first step."

"Heh-heh… I was holding back too, you know. You're pretty cool, Amane, and I was

worried that someone else might come along and snatch you up. I was anxious about

whether you'd even like me or not."

"I think you were the only one who was worried about that."

"Hmm. That again…"

Mahiru looked unhappy when Amane put himself down again. But when she noticed

his expression, she blinked several times.

Amane wasn't wearing the pitiful face that Mahiru was always so quick to criticize.

Instead, his eyes were serious and had the look of someone who had prepared himself

to do something especially difficult.

"…So, from now on… I'm going to work hard, so that it's not weird when people see us

together."

"Huh?"

"I'm going to become a man who does my best so that no one will tell you that we're

mismatched ever again… And even if I can't do it, I still want to improve enough to feel

proud of myself."

Amane wanted to become the kind of man who was worthy of standing proudly by

Mahiru's side, so that no one could object to their relationship. Not only for Mahiru's

sake, but for his own as well. And so that he could have confidence in himself.

The first step down that path had to start with these words.

"I love you, Mahiru, more than anyone else. Will you be my girlfriend?"

He stared into her clear, caramel-colored eyes and whispered his confession. Her

serene eyes glistened with tears, but not a single drop spilled down her cheeks. Amane

was the only thing reflected in her dewy eyes.

Mahiru closed her eyes and smiled.

"…Yes."

Mahiru's answer was so quiet that even if anybody else had been in the room, Amane

would still have been the only one to hear it. Yet her trembling voice conveyed her

unmistakable agreement.

Mahiru buried her face in Amane's chest again. Her arms wrapped tightly around his

back, holding him firmly in place and not letting go. It was like she was telling him that

she wasn't going to let him get away.

Feeling a little embarrassed, Amane also wrapped his arms securely around Mahiru's

small back.

—I'll never let you go.

I want to treasure you. I want to bring you joy. I want to love you.

Mahiru was the first person to make him feel that way.

"I want to make you happy, Mahiru."

"Is that a promise, Amane?"

Mahiru slowly lifted her face and gave Amane an impish smirk, so he smiled and

lowered his lips to her ear.

"This is my wish. So I promise, right now… I will cherish you, and make you happy,

absolutely," he pledged passionately.

"…Mm."

Mahiru nodded and gave Amane a sweet smile that melted his heart.