Ch. 22

A month passes by.

Damien takes Setsumi on a hunting and gathering trip. The girls bring their little sisters to the backyard to play. 

"Arkell, can we talk?" I ask hesitantly. 

He finishes putting the eggs away and looks at me. "Of course, is there any specific place you want to talk?"

"Right here is fine." I lean against the wall and rest my aching feet. 

He sits right next to me. "Alright, ask away." 

"What happened to Comac?" 

He sighs. "Right after the sentencing, he disappeared. He turned into like, smoke. I'm pretty sure he moved on after he felt the right thing had been done, I'm sorry you couldn't see it." 

Tears fall from my eyes. "Thank you for telling me."

"I could see the shock from when you heard Junko calling the Panther King Uncle. Would you like to know some more?" 

I nod. 

"He took her in after most of her family was killed, by a Feral group. She was lost without them, and he tried to help her on her path. Anything else, my love?"

"I know you mentioned this a long time ago." I pause, trying to find the right wording. "Did you still want to celebrate when we become spouses? Or did you want to wait until we have an egg?"

"I'm surprised you remember that." He says, surprised. "If you want, I can let you decide. I can wait for a long time." He smiles. "You have been through a lot lately, I don't want to rush into anything if you aren't comfortable. My patience is endless." He kisses my lips deeply, then stands up. He stretches for a moment and then reaches his hand towards me. 

I take it and he lifts me, wrapping his free arm around my waist. "I don't have any more questions, except one."

"What is it, my dear?" He spins me around and pulls me close again. 

"If we do have an egg, would that technically make me Queen of all the Beastmen? What would I do?"

"I promise it's nothing terrible, it's not that different from how things are now. I wouldn't worry about it, just focus on you and stay healthy. If you would like, we can mate now but only if you are willing." He runs his fingers through my hair. 

"I see, I'll have to say no for now, I still need time to recover from the pups. Will you please wait for me?" 

He bends down and buries his face into my neck. "You know I will."

Suddenly he playfully bites my neck.

My body and face heat up. I let out a soft whimper and collapsed into him. "Jerk."

"What?" He cocks his head to the side. "That was adorable, Damien told me that you like this sort of thing."

I playfully punch his arm and whimper again. "That was private! Did he tell you everything about my first time?"

He shakes his head and chuckles nervously. "No, I wouldn't go that far. I only asked for a few things you like so I'm not completely clueless when we mate. I'm sorry if that bothers you." He looks out the window for a second. "Is there something I can do to make it up to you?"

"Just ask me personally next time, okay? We should be getting more time together soon, so don't worry about it." I wrap my arms around him and sigh. 

He does the same and puts his chin on top of my head. "Okay, just let me know when you are ready." 

"You know I will, I'm just more focused on my pups right now."

He strokes my hair. "That's natural, and it's one of the many things I love about you. I hear one of the girls might have a spouse soon?"

I smile and look up at him. "I just hope she's happy and healthy." 

"I think Damien will make sure of that, he is rather overprotective." 

"They'll be okay." I look out the window and watch the girls play with the cubs. "Do you think you can do something for me?" 

He walks by the fire pit and starts a small fire. "Anything."

"My son, Setsumi. I want you to help him rebuild the Fox Clan. That way, his future pups won't have to live in fear for their lives."

He stays silent for a while. "What you're asking, that will take generations of healing. I won't be able to do that, I won't live that long." 

"I know it will take a long time, but that's what Comac wanted. Can you at least try?" 

He sighs. "I wish I could, but until you can guarantee me an heir that can grow up with them and make the change, I can't do anything."

I turn around to see the sadness in his eyes. It fills me with hurt, and tears well up in my eyes. "I see."

"Even if I could, the crimes that they have committed are hard to overlook. I know they are not all the same, but it's enough. I can only recognize a clan if it has more than just a few members in it, you would have to find others that want the same change you do." 

"So his dream is impossible, is that what you're saying?" My sadness slowly turns into rage. 

He stays silent and looks away from me. 

I'm torn between my emotions. Before I say or do anything I regret, I run out of the house and hug Comacs' tree. I collapse into it and sob uncontrollably. "I'm so sorry, I can't…" I trail off. My chest tightens as it slowly gets harder to breathe. I've never felt so useless as a spouse. How am I supposed to live with myself if I can't honor his only wish?

I don't know when I fell asleep, but when I wake up I'm back in the house. My head pounds as I sit up, I must cried hard for it to hurt this much. My eyes feel puffy, and I'm sure that they're red. My mouth is so dry, it's hard to swallow. 

The moon dimly lights up the room, and I see some firelight in the doorway. I get up and peek around the door. 

Damien sits by the fire, the fox pups lay beside him. 

My son has just started being able to change form. He looks just like his father. His black hair slightly covers his sleeping face. The girls are curled up beside him, sleeping soundly. 

I walk up to them and pick up Setsumi, cradling him in my arms. "Hey," I say quietly. 

"Hey," He stares into the fire, the flames flickering in his eyes.

I can tell that he's stressed, it shows in his eyes and the way he's sitting. "Are you okay, my love?" I sit next to him and watch the flames dance into the air. 

"I just have a lot to do with the cold season coming up. I have a lot of extra food to catch, and it's difficult to do with just me." He runs his fingers through his hair and sighs. 

"I'm sorry, I can try to get more spouses. Would that help?"

He shakes his head. "Yes, but I don't want to force you to do anything. Arkell would help me, but he has a city to run." 

"I can try to talk to him. Although, I think part of it could be because we haven't mated yet. I'm sorry, that's my fault." I look at the ground, knowing that I haven't felt like bringing in new spouses. 

"You just lost a spouse, I'd be surprised if you added a new one right away. It would make you seem like you don't care about us at all. I know that's not you, and I don't want you to be uncomfortable." He kisses my temple. "Go back and get some rest, I'll bring the pups to bed." 

"They're getting big, we need to decide what to do with our first three."

He nods. "Yeah, we need to get a home built for Kaylee, that way she can have her place to build."

"I wonder if Nordan has found anyone that he likes. He goes out every day, but he doesn't say anything when he gets home." 

Damien chuckles. "I'll take care of that, he might have his heart set on someone. He could be too embarrassed to tell us." 

"Come on, let's go to sleep, we have stuff to do in the morning." I place my hand on his shoulder. 

He leans into my hand and sighs. "Alright." He scoops up the girls and he puts them in their room. 

"Fae?" He asks when we lay in our bed. 

"Yes?"

He wraps his arms around me, tightening his grip ever so slightly. "I…I love you." 

Hearing him say that makes my heart melt a little. "I love you too." My cheeks warm as I lean into his grasp. His scent fills my lungs and calms me, making it easier to fall asleep.