Chapter 15 Misunderstandings

"Do you know why I'm angry?" Paul asked.

"..."

At times like this you should deny, deny, deny right? Too bad I suck at lying…

I plead the 5th.

"Maybe…"

"Earlier today, I heard you're abusing others with magic," Paul said. "Remember what I taught you earlier?"

How to use a sword?

"I taught you," seeing my confusion he continues, "A man's strength is to protect the weak,"

"Even if you say that, Soma-"

"Wrong. When you do something bad, you say, 'Sorry!'" I get scolded.

"I mean that's true, but-"

"Don't find excuses!"

He interrupts me again.

Uwaa, what a pain!

The thing is he isn't technically wrong, but I don't particularly feel like apologizing, for putting a bully in his place.

"..."

"What's that look for?"

"...I'm sorry," I look away. I don't particularly mean it. I agree to an extent that the way I did things wasn't exactly… proper, but I'm not exactly sorry about my actions anyway.

"What are you sorry for?"

Ok, now you're just pushing it. I'm sorry that I needed to do anything at all.

"..."

"Well. Why don't you say anything?"

"I'm sorry, I wasn't there for Sylphy when Solmar threw a stone at her, and left her bleeding on the floor…"

"...what did you say?"

Ladies, and gentleman, we got 'em. Seriously, this man is my father? If I knew anything about being a parent I might parent you like the original Rudy did, but that would be absurd. What kind of parent takes parenting advice from their own child?

I then went on to explain what I did, and why I did it.

"...I see," Paul seemed to lose some of his fervor after my explanation. "But what you just did was dangerous, what if you didn't catch Solmar in time?"

"I'm a saint class mage, control is one of my strongest points."

In more ways than one.

"I said no excuses. It is because you're a saint mage that you can't just be doing that! Saint mages don't throw people in the air, did Roxy ever throw you?"

Well technically she did, but I asked her too. How did you think I invented flight magic? The situation is serious though, so I'll hold my tongue.

"He left her bleeding," I say. "That's not right."

"Sigh, You have no proof of that, so I can't do anything about it now. If I tell Ada what her son did, it would just sound like an excuse," He says. "You should have come to me first."

The idea didn't even cross my mind.

"I will bring the matter to Mrs.Eto later, about her son, and you'll apologize to her as well."

Excuse me?

"What, but I just told you-"

"We both know you could have done better," he says. "You could have just thrown a water ball instead. You're apologizing tomorrow,"

Tch.

"Fine," I conceded.

///

Paul [POV]

"I wonder if this is how my father felt when he was parenting me…"

Rudy has been prodigious. He learns everything as quick as possible, whether it be magic, writing, swordsmanship-

Well maybe not swordsmanship.

He learns everything by himself or through Roxy as an exception. He's really able to learn anything. It really makes one feel unneeded.

Does he even need a father?

I was worried about such things, that when the moment came, and Rudy bullied an 8 year old I was almost happy to have an excuse to be a father.

Almost… if it wasn't for the way he did it.

His actions were a little too reminiscent of nobles from the capital. Nobles that would push their weight around, and could care less about the commoners. God forbid, they have magic.

I needed to correct this. Immediately.

But then he told me his reasons, and then… things started to make a little more sense. How the kind and playful Rudeus went from playful to tyrannical.

Honestly, it was extremely reminiscent of me, back when I was his age. Memories of squabbles between me and a noble pop into my head, when I… ah-plucked his fiance, so to speak, and he came at me, and I beat him down in response. Just replace sword with magic, and it's hard to tell the difference between us.

And now Rudy is doing something similar.

I can't help but feel that this is how my father felt when he was parenting me.

"Sigh, parenting is difficult."

My father was strict, and stubborn. And I've Inherited that stubborn, rigid father's blood.

Rudeus is the same.

Looking at that stubborn part, Rudeus is indeed my child.

"What's wrong, you look gloomy?" Zeny questions.

"Oh, I had a fight with Rudy."

"That's unusual,"

Looking at a younger version of myself, I wonder what my father would have done. He'd either have kicked him out, or locked in his room. He was always two extremes.

"If I had told him to get out, he probably would have left this house," I look at the bottom of my mug. It is empty. "Just like that."

"Just like you did?"

"Ha," I lean on her.

Yeah… just like me… I never got to apologize to my father for how I acted… but now, now I think I understand a father's worry a bit better.

///

Rudeus [pov]

It's been a few months since then. I put down Zenith's book I was reading, and gave my full attention to my student.

"Alright, ready?" I questioned.

I had to apologize to that kid and his mom, it was infuriating, but I was able to swallow my pride and do it. Luckily, though, I was able to put the fear of god into him, and haven't seen him since.

Paul still made me promise that I wouldn't use magic on any children though. Needless to say I complied, do you think I would bully a child?

…don't answer that…

"Ready!" Sylphy declared.

We're six now, Sylphy, and I are mastering intermediate silent magic before we can move on to the fun stuff.

"From the top!"

"?"

"...that means you can begin,"

"Yes!" Sylphy breathes in and begins her chant. "Let this land be blessed by thy presence. Still the air, and cool the wind, freeze those before me. Ice Domain!"

With a wave of her wand(mine), a small ice field is made.

We're practicing chant-less intermediate incantation. She just performed it admirably earlier. Now I'm just making sure it's not a fluke, so we can go start flying around now. Better safe than sorry.

Why an ice spell? Because it's more difficult. Plus, as long as you get the silent casting process down, you can do it with any spell really.

Step one; traditional, follow the process as done by the book, gather the energy, and perform the spell.

"Alright, good work, Sylphy. Now step two, give me your wand."

"Here,"

Step two; repeat the process, but enchant in your head, while having your eyes closed. Now that you know how the process is supposed to feel, do it wandless. Throw yourself into your magic as much as possible, and only say out the last part. Feel the flow.

"Ice domain!"

"Very good, one more to go,"

Step three; you concentrate on the feeling the spell gave you. A tingly feeling on your back, an itch on your thigh, whatever the feeling was for you, and associate an action towards that feeling when casting, a hand thrust, a wave. It's all self hypnotism really.

Sylphy moves her hands as if letting someone polite pass by. Place her hand on her left shoulder, concentrating for a moment, then throwing out her hand, as if giving a solute.

Swoosh. A moment later, just like before the wind stills, and freezes once more.

She has just performed intermediate magic silently.

"Alright, now the last step," I announced.

And finally we're on the last step, which in short is, nothing. The whole step by step process is shorting it down step by step, until you can break it down to its simplest possible solution. In short, no chant what so ever, and hopefully no action as well.

Sylphy simply nods her head, and prepares for the moment of truth.

…

She stands still, breathes in and out, and makes no noise, nothing happens for a few seconds… but then the temperature drops, and the wind bellows, and a small ice wind hits us, putting a glaze of snow on the grass below us.

Success. It takes a bit longer, but she has without a doubt casted intermediate magic silently, and without movement.

"Congratulations, you're ready."

Her ears wiggle.

"We can fly now?!" she asked.

With a smile on my face. "Yes we can fly now."

///

Whoosh. We're running as fast as we want along the hill side.

Repeated use of wind rise spells being used again, and again.

We must look like the Mario bros, If someone from earth were to see us right now.

Should I buy a red hat? She already has green hair…

"Don't forget to use your arms to gather wind as you lower yourself,"

Whoosh.

"And she's not listening,"

At least her form is good. Guess all that time spent stalking was put to good use.

She's tensing her legs, jumping, and following it with a draft as she rises to the heavens. Then using her arms, lets herself get glided, and uses wind to glide down, making sure to bend her knees as she lends. Then starting off with a small trot once more, followed by another jump. Then rinse and repeat. Run, Jump, and glide. Jump and glide…

Talk about the most hardcore version of frogger you can play.

"Oy, slow down a bit, you're going to regret this tomorrow at this rate," I glided right next to her.

"Hehehe," she rubs her head with one hand as we glide.

Show off.

"Sorry, but we can keep going, right? There's still so much sun,"

I mean that's true, but that's not the problem.

We land, "True, but I don't think your body is ready for it, your going to exhaust yourself at this rate,"

"Don't worry Rudy. My reserves are big, Rudy knows it too," she pats her chest proudly. Jumping into the air, she leaves me behind.

I jumped after her. "Yeah, not what I meant," I kept pace with her again. "I meant physically, your body is channeling magic, and going through laborious physical activity, trust me you'll feel it,"

She frowns. "Rudy does it all the time though,"

"Yeah, but I also train all the time,"

"It'll be fine," we land once more. She patted her chest with a fist. "I sometimes run with daddy during his hunts,"

Sometimes, is not the same as always.

Whoosh. She jumps off again.

This girl…

Ah, she doesn't get it. Oh, well I warned her, she'll understand it tomorrow.

Chasing after her, I glide my way beside her, the least I can do is be there if she falls.

///

Knock. Knock.

The following day, I decided to make a check on my precious student.

This will be fun, don't want to tell her I told you so… but… who am I kidding, I totally do!

Just a little bit… within reason. It's my teacher's privilege!

Feeling that Sylphy is probably going to need my help today, I only went for a light swim. As I have no idea what time Sylphy usually wakes up, I kept it light, and only did a moderate amount of swimming. Still had to do something in the morning, as I didn't want to go there too early, and disturb her rest. Lord knows she probably needs all her sleep.

"Hello?" The door opened and a feminine voice greeted me.

Moment of truth I suppose.

Out came a brown haired woman, looking around for a moment, before looking down, and noticing me.

"Ah… you are," she squints her eyes. "Rubeus, yes? This is the first time you've come here. Come in, come in," she grabs me by the sleeve and drags me inside.

"Hello, I'm… ah, Rudeus, nice to meet you, people just call me Rudy," I made contact with who I can only assume is Sylphy's mother. She has brown hair tied in a ponytail, petite nose, demure lips, and brown eyes. Overall a woman that radiates kindness. She really gives the girl next door vibes.

Milf next door?

Honestly, It's like I'm looking at a brown hair, growned, Sylphy.

"Ah, my apologies," she curtsied.

Uwaa, that's right, I'm a noble's son, if barely. This is the first time something like this has happened, can't say I'm a fan of it.

"U-um no problem," I dissuaded the situation. If I have to act like a noble, I'll die of cringe. "I came here for Sylphy, is she awake?"

She puts up a troubled expression. "...well she is, but she isn't feeling well today…"

I'm sure. Told you so!

"Yeah, I figured, that's why I'm here,"

She tilts her head confused at my statement.

"My mom taught me some healing magic." I showed my glowing green palm. "I'm here to help her out,"

"Would you!," she clasps one of my hands into hers.

"Um, ma'am your daughter's not dying, I'm just going to help her out a bit."

"Regardless, helping out your friend is something I am sure she would appreciate," she smiles warmly, before dragging me down the hall. "Here let me show you to her room, I'll make you and Sylphy a meal while you talk, so make sure to wait a bit dear,"

"Ok…" I conceded. This woman gives me a bit of a Zenith vibe, but with a tinge of air-headedness. Being dragged away by this kind mom, I take a look at the house, and can't help but notice how neat everything is. It's quite homely.

Sylphy is quite fortunate in her own way.

Going with the flow, I get ready to heal Sylphy. Too think I even get a free meal out of this.

///

Sylphy [POV]

Owwww. Everything hurts, my hands hurt, my feet hurt, my butt hurts, even my hair… How does hair hurt?

"Sylphy, mommy has a guest for you today,"

"Grrr," I don't want to talk. "Is daddy back already?"

"Nope, it's Rudy," she answered.

I jerk up-

PAIN!

"Ahan!"

That hurt! Rudy's here?!

"Coming in," the door opened and someone made their way into my room.

"Mmm, Rudy…" I look up from my pillow to see Rudy in my room.

"Yo," he raises his palm. "Soooo… how bad?"

I turn my head away from him, not wanting to answer him. I can at least do that much.

Pat. I get slapped on my lower back.

Oww! My body jerks up from the pain.

"Rudy…" I'm a little teary.

That hurt Rudy… Please be more gentle.

"Ah… sorry," he rubbed the back of his head. "So that bad huh, well lucky for you I know healing magic," Rudy declared sitting next to me. "Geez, I told you to take it easy, but nooo, you wouldn't listen," he reaches for one of hands, with two of his, and looks them over.

"But I exercise…" I weakly said, as Rudy started rubbing my fingers. That's nice.

"There's exercise, and then theirs what we did," he lets go of my hands. "What do you think we did exactly?"

"We did magic… right?"

"And?" he questioned.

"...playing?"

"That's true, but not what I meant. Let me enlighten you, disciple."

Ah, Rudy's entering sensei mode.

.

"You did 500 squats," Rudy pat(lightly) me on my thigh.

"You did 200 strokes of your arms," another pat on my arms.

"You casted through your hands," he locks hands with mine.

we're holding hands…

"And above it all you did it while casting, for two hours,"

"I-Is that bad?" I asked.

"It is, if for two hours,"

"B-but we do it all the time, for longer even,"

His hand is warm. Ah… he let go…

Flick. He flicked me on the forehead. "Rudy?!"

"Casting, while moving your whole body, is a whole different level of difficulty. You were probably too busy to notice, but your body probably warmed up a little after casting for so long right?

Now that he mentions it…

"And when you combine that with physical activity. Your body is being put under stress from both sides, inside and outside. And you did it for two hours, 2 hours,"

"...I'm sorry…"

"As long as you remember,"

"Thank you for telling me Rudy, but why are you here?"

Flick. He flicked my forehead again.

Why?!

"What kind of teacher doesn't take care of his student during their moment of need,"

"…"

Take care of…

My face is hot. I hide my head back into my pillow.

Rudy?! Why do you always gotta say stuff like that?!

"U-u-um, w-what are you going to do?"

"What else, healing touch,"

Healing what?

"When I was-um… more active than usual, I used to be tired all the time, and injured myself alot so I developed this spell to help heal my muscles, and recover. I call it Healing Touch,"

"Although at the end of the day it's just an ordinary healing spell applied in the form of a massage, she doesn't need to know that…" he mumbled that last part. I don't think I was supposed to hear that. But I have very good ears.

…and Rudy has a very loose mouth.

Sensei was right. Rudy is easy to read.

Wait-

"Did you say massage?"

"Hmm? Ah, yeah. Massaging is good for blood flow, and repairing muscles, it's also probably good for the mana in your body. Probably!"

"Probably?!"

My heart isn't ready?!

"Just the last one. Everything else is true, trust me, it's the best. I made it myself,"

"R-Rudy, I-I don't want to take off my clothes,"

"Why would you take off your clothes?"

"Eh?"

"…" he looked at me puzzled.

"Aren't massages usually on top of the skin?" Even I know that. Mommy sometimes gives daddy a massage.

"I mean, they are, but they don't have to be. It's also a healing spell, as long as I'm close to the skin it's fine, I don't think your shirt is too thick that It would block the mana. I don't need to have direct contact, not unless you were poisoned, or had some severe injury. Sylphy's muscles are just tired right?" he waved his hand, shooing away my worries.

Aaaaa! My face is heating up. I'm so embarrassed. Massages don't have to be on top of the skin. I didn't know that!

I turn around, looking at Rudy, only to see him smirking at me.

Rudyyyy, don't tease me!

"Oh, before we start, I just want to tell you in advance their might be some spots that hurt, but a little hurt is good, that's your nerves unraveling, it's when it's a lot that it's bad, so just tell me if it gets too much, and I'll do it gentler, alright?"

I nod my head.

What are nerves?

"U-um… ok… if it's Rudy… it's fine," he reached for the covers, taking them off me.

Daddy said I shouldn't ever let a man touch me without permission… but Roxy also said to trust Rudy… what would mama say? Wait mama, brought him here, so… it's ok… probably.

I was still wearing my clothes from yesterday. I was so tired I passed out last night.

My clothes are still sweaty, so embarrassing. I-I-I don't smell right?

I took a peak at Rudy, and…

"Alright, try to enter a relaxed state, breathe in, and out, and I'll start with your fingers,"

…he continued normally. At least, it doesn't seem like he smells anything so everything is fine, but… aren't you a little too fine?

Why are you so calm?

Couldn't you be a little embarrassed?

I was a little annoyed that Rudy had no reaction.

"Alright, here I go," with both his hands he re-grabbed one of my own, and started rubbing the top of the skin gently like before.

Putting more pressure, "Trace on," he then makes his silly incantation, and I start feeling a warm feeling through my fingers.

"Healing touch," he casts his spell, and a green glow covers his hands.

Ah, that feels nice…

He continues rubbing my arms, his energy flowing through me, warming my hands a little, as a warm green glow affects the spot he rubs.

My skin feels tingly. I'm getting goosebumps.

He kept rubbing my fingers, one by one, before starting to make his way to my arms, "Sylphy, I'm gonna turn you on your back for a moment ok, I need to rub all of your arms, and stomach"

"Mmn,"

And he repeats again, rubbing my arms, and my belly.

"Hnn…"

Warm, I feel very warm.

"Whew, alright that does your front. How are you feeling?"

"Good… I still feel sore though," I confessed.

"Alright, just tell me where you're hurting, and I'll massage you their,"

"Hm, ok. Um, everywhere else?"

"Ok… so I guess… I'll start from the neck, and work my way down. Turn over Sylphy,"

"Hnn," I nod, and turn back on my stomach. It's easier to move now.

I feel a pair of hands on my neck. "Healing touch," I feel his energies once more.

Mmm, that's nice…

"Hmm," I feel a warm feeling on my neck, as he starts rubbing his hands across my shoulders. It continues for a moment, and then he starts on my back.

"Mm," he rubs, and my muscles feel better, a tingly feeling going through my back, goosebumps going through me. "Ahh…" I don't feel as stiff anymore. Feels like a wave of hot, then cold, just flowing through me.

Then his hands make it to my lower back, on top of my shorts, and he… stops.

"Ooom," a weird sound escapes my lips.

"A-Alright, I'll do your legs now," Rudy stuttered.

I turned around, and noticed a faint blush on his cheeks.

My heart is beating fast… Rudy can't hear it right?

Rudy starts on my legs, and repeats the process there as well.

It… hurts a little.

I held my breath.

"Ha… ha…" I'm breathing a bit harder.

"Mmm," It's tight, my legs feel so sore. "Ahn!" It feels good… tingly again, like my legs are being squeezed from the inside. There's lightning in my legs. I can feel them better now.

Rudy finishes quickly.

Already? Is Rudy in a hurry?

"Ah… yeah… that's that, um we're finished, you can… uh, what's next?" Rudy looks a little lost.

Rudy is easy to tease when he's confused. I remembered those words Roxy said once.

Back when I was having trouble looking Rudy in the eye, Roxy gave me a series of tips on how to deal with him, if he ever became too much, or if I wanted revenge on him. Like being weak to praise or teasing, and being easily distracted when excited or distraught.

I hope this doesn't make me a bad girl, but I feel like teasing Rudy for teasing me.

"Um Rudy… you missed a spot," I whispered.

I can't believe I'm doing this.

"Hmm?"

"My butt… it's sore too… um… w-what do we do?" I peeked behind me nervously.

"Eh… um… that's ah… ah you, right… glutes are part of the leg muscles, so if you did 500 squats of course they would hurt… of course…" Rudy is talking to himself.

"Ah, if Rudy wants… you can do my butt too,"

"Um that's a little… if Sylphy doesn't want to, we don't need to-"

"I'm ok with it,"

///

Rudy [POV]

Wha-what is this girl saying?! Did she just-she definitely just did right. Alright calm down. This is a medical procedure. Me-di-cal. Right, right, this is completely normal.

Lets ignore the fact that her ears are twitching up and down, and what that means.

I remember back during my athletic days that I would see girls massaging guys legs after an intense workout.

Granted they were boyfriend and girlfriend, but it was for healing purposes.

"Sylphy… um, you really shouldn't be saying stuff like that,"

"Why?" she questioned.

"Why? Because-"

Ok, hold up a second.

This is medical, but if I answer that question, then I might give her the impression that it isn't.

…then things would get really awkward really quick.

A hug is a hug, a kiss is a kiss, and a massage is a massage. Things only become sexual if you make them. So long as I keep things respectful and professional, everything will be fine.

Hell, I can make this into something to tease her about in a year or two. Hmm, that's actually not half bad, the idea of Sylphy's crimson face as she recalls this fiasco will make this a funny memory.

…probably.

"It's ok Rudy, I give you permission," she lays down on her stomach once more, and takes off her shorts, revealing her underwear.

"..."

Where are you getting your vocabulary from?!

Innocence is scary…

After this I'll make sure to teach Sylphy the importance of stretching and moderations, I'm not taking no for an answer. As for the undressing part… I'll hint at her mother to talk with Sylphy later.

///

Laws [POV]

"Alice, I'm home," I announced on my way back home.

"Welcome back, you're back early" she narrowed her eyes. "You're not skipping out just because you were worried about Sylphy were you?"

"It's not like that. I asked one of the guys to cover for me while I went to Zenith's. I got a healing ointment for Sylphy's muscles," I took out a small canister of balm.

"Zenith said, just apply this after a good bath, and let her have a good night's rest,"

"That's perfect!" Alice strides across the room and gives me two kisses on each of my cheeks. "I'll give this to her after I bathe her,"

"Has she woken up yet?"

"Oh yes," my wife put the palm on top of the cabinet. "She's talking with her friend right now, as soon as they're done talking I'll help that little lady into the bath, and scrub her clean."

"Honestly," my wife placed a palm on her cheek. "What was that girl thinking?"

"What did she do again?" I asked. Last night, she just came home, grabbed something to eat, and went to bed lethargic, just saying; 'I should have listened,' and groaning in pain.

"She was just practicing magic dear. Although, I have no idea how that translates to tired muscles. I wonder what Roxy taught our daughter?"

Roxy… that girl, was a gift from the heavens. Who knew someone so young could be so wise.

If it wasn't for her, our daughter would still be the timid soul scared to face the outside world without covering her hair. Now, although still timid, she bravely faces the world with her hood down and a smile on her face.

What father wouldn't be happy to see his daughter so happy?

"Did you say friend?"

"Hmm, yes Rudy Greyrat, Paul's child."

"Oh… him,"

Him… her friend. To be frank, I don't like that child. That boy is nothing, but trouble, not that I'll ever tell his father, as he hasn't done anything wrong.

Yet…

Lord knows he won my favor, if only a little, when I heard he beat up the bullies responsible for hurting my daughter, but-

But… he's trouble.

"Rudy, told me if the bullies ever bother me again, to throw some water balls at them, and if they're boys, and get too close, to kick them between the legs…" was one of many things Sylphy said about Rudy, and his teachings.

It wasn't anything noticeable at first, but over the course of a year Sylphy has grown… I'm just a bit worried about who she's growing into.

One day she was timid, then; she started running around, then she picked up a barrel lid and started sledding, she started playing at knight, she started saying weird phrases…

'Where did you learn that?' I'd ask her.

"From Rudy,"

'Really?'

'Believe it!'

?

Of Course she did. I suppose it's less that I hate the boy, and more that I'm worried about how much influence he has over her.

Little by little my sweet innocent girl was becoming someone I didn't recognize.

It's better this way, my wife says. Our daughter is growing up, coming out of her shell, but what is she growing into?

Ahh… perhaps I'm just jealous that my daughter would rather spend time with another boy than her old dad. Pretty soon my daughter will stop calling me daddy, and start calling me pops… scary.

"So, she's awake, I'll go see her," I picked up the ointment.

"Alright, I'll make you both something to eat," Alice goes back to the kitchen. "Oh, and don't bother the poor boy, this is the first time he's come over, and it would be nice if there was a second time."

"Why would I bother him?"

She turns around, raising an eyebrow.

"I'll be civil dear…"

"Good," she turns back to the meal, "dinner will be ready in 15. Don't overstay your welcome,"

"It's my house…"

Ignoring my complaints, she goes back to cooking.

Going down the hallway, I wonder how I should act in front of that boy. On one hand I do owe him a lot, on the other, well… hopefully I can build a friendship with him. It will be nice to see who is the first boy that Sylphiette has befriended personally.

"...right there," getting closer to their door, I can hear them talking.

I wonder how I should introduce myself. Hello, my name is Laws my daughter has told me a lot about you. No… how about, so you're the guy trying to swoon my daughter. No, too confrontational. How about… so Paul tells me you train in the sword as well as magic, that's impressive.

"Ah, why am I struggling so much to talk to a child," I reached for the door handle.

"Ha… ha…" I stopped as I heard heavy breathing.

Did she catch a fever?

"Hyuu!" a loud moan came to my ears before I opened the door.

"Sylphy… are you alright?"

"Yeah, that one… ha… just surprised me,"

"We can stop if you want?" A boy's voice is heard.

"Um… no… I think I need a little more,"

"...ok, but if you make another weird noise… we're stopping,"

"Mmh,"

What?

I'm imagining things. Getting paranoid I'm imagining the worst case scenario.

"Sylphy, I brought you-" I opened the door to her bedroom door.

Only for the world to stand still.

"R-Rudy… did I make a weird sound again," my daughter said, recovering from her heavy breathing, and turning to look around at her 'friend,'

Who had his hands on my daughter's rear end.

My daughter was laying down, head down, rear slightly elevated, and a slightly flushed expression on her face.

This isn't real right?

Our eyes met, me and my daughter's friend, and that is when my daughter turns from him to me, noticing I'm in the room.

"D-Daddy?!"

"..."

I look at my daughter's flustered appearance for a moment, before turning back to Rudeus, waiting for an answer.

He looks down at his hands, still on my daughter's butt, before he raises them to his chest placatingly, and says, "...this isn't what it looks like?"

Clang. The balm in my hands falls to the floor.

"Get your hands off my daughter!"