Chapter 84: Confessions Of A Drunken Wizard

Snape's Quarters, Slytherin Dungeons, Hogwarts...

It had been late when Hermione looked at the old grandfather clock that Snape had in the front room of his quarters. He had not made it back that afternoon when breakfast concluded. Dumbledore served as a stand in for his classes that evening and still he had not shown up at when it was time for dinner in The Great Hall. The bushy haired Charms Mistress paced back n' forth across the front room, trying their connection had not seemed to get her anywhere either. She had not known what her lover had been up to or why he felt the need to take off without so much as a word but the driving need to worry for his safety filled her to the brink. She had nearly given up on waiting and was about to head off in search of him when she saw him come stumbling through the door, his ebony robes swaying with his movements.

"SEVERUS SEBASTIAN SNAPE WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN!?" asked Hermione more than a little outraged.

Snape said nothing as he made his way silently over toward one of his arm chairs and collapsed. In the dim orange glow of the fireplace she could barely make out the bruising on his right eye and just how swollen his lip and nose had been. In an instant her anger evaporated and turned into worry as the small streams of blood became visible.

"Severus?" she said softly this time.

He let out a groan and she was by his side immediately.

"Severus." said Hermione gingerly touching his battered sallow pale face.

He simply looked at her behind a weary obsidian gaze albeit partially with his right eye swollen shut.

I should get you to Poppy." said Hermione looking him over.

Snape shook his head slowly.

"No." he said, his voice deep and sorrowful. "I-I wa-nt on-ly y-you."

Hermione sighed touching his face once more.

"As you wish." she said and raised her wand.

Snape sat quietly as Hermione began healing his various wounds with her magical charms. Once she was done he pulled her into his drunken embrace so that she was sitting in his lap. The Charms Mistress sighed and stroked her lover's newly healed face. He said nothing but leaned into her touch like a pet seeking affection.

"Her-mi-on-ee." said Snape with a drunken purr.

"Where did you go Severus?" she asked watching him with worried amber eyes.

"O-Out." he replied his drunkenness showing.

"What did you do to comeback with injuries?" she asked careful not to let her voice drip with rage as before.

Snape gave her a lax drunken smile and sighed.

"M-Muggles s-simp-ly c-can-not s-st-and w-when t-their wr-wrong a-ab-out an-any-thing, es-especial-ly sp-orts." he said stumbling over his words as he did his steps moments before.

"You provoked a fight in a muggle bar?" asked the bushy haired witch arching an eyebrow at him.

Snape simply let his shoulders rise and fall in a half-hearted gesture.

"I-I-t's n-n-ot m-my fau-lt s-some m-mug-gle b-brute a-assumed t-th-at h-he c-could s-strike m-me f-for h-having a diff-er-ence o-of o-opin-ion." said Snape.

Hermione sighed.

"Severus, what's going on this isn't like you." she said.

Snape seemed to ignore her question, but proceeded to stare at his lover with a longing in his eyes. He had been in no mood to talk and he knew he would need one hell of a sober up potion come morning if he was going to get through teaching his 5th year classes. Hermione had still been worried about him when he began to caress her back with his supporting hand as she sat on his lap.

"Severus, please tell me what's bothering you." she said. "I wish you would talk to me."

Snape sighed.

At the rate she was going he just might not need that potion after all. He focused on his words in a bid to say them much more clearly. Repeating himself was something he would not want to have to do in such a complex situation.

"The last time that I saw Eileen, was just before the worst year at Hogwarts that I have ever had." he said. "I was about 16 at the time I believe the years seem to blur after a while possibly due to my increasing age or the drink...I cannot tell you which."

Hermione gave her lover her full attention.

"Please go on." she said.

Snape smirked.

"I thought she was dead...that Tobias had finally killed her...that it was my fault for not being there to..." he stopped short of saying the word that Hermione knew all to well given his nature.

"To protect her." she said.

Snape nodded.

"A foolish Gryffindor sentiment for a Slytherin to have." he said as if ashamed.

Hermione shook her head. She knew all about Snape's childhood and from what Harry told her after getting Snape's memories and hearing him speak with "Sebastian" it was a wonder he had survived at all.

"It wasn't foolish or Gryffindor." she said softly stroking his cheek. "She was your mother and your father was a bad man...every child even a Slytherin would want to protect those they love, Draco is practically a walking example of this...look at all he did during the war for his parents."

Snape smirked.

"I'm afraid that sentiment was what he acquired from me." he said despite understanding her meaning. "If not for the need of Self-preservation in-steeled in me from living with Tobias, I suppose that I would have been placed in Gryffindor."

Hermione could hardly believe what she was hearing.

"Y-You chose to be placed in Slytherin." she said.

Snape nodded.

"A choice that cost me a great deal." he said sorrowfully. "But I suppose I have been more than compensated for what was lost."

"I suppose you have." said Hermione with a small smile.

"I believed Eileen dead for so long..." said Snape as rage glinted behind his obsidian eyes as he recalled the terrible memories. "Then to find out not only was she dead but she remarried, had a Pure-blood son and lived a life of wealth and privilege."

"Jarvis." said Hermione.

"Yes." replied Snape. "And now the little flubberworm thinks he can waltz in here and take what little family I do have."

Hermione's eyes widened.

She finally understood what Snape was going through.

"It is common for someone to feel misplaced when a new sibling arrives, but that usually happens in childhood and is worked out before they reach adulthood." she said in her usual textbook manner.

Snape scoffed.

"If you are going to refer to this as sibling rivalry then there is no need in speaking about it." he said annoyed.

Hermione sighed.

"Severus, Jarvis can never replace you especially not here at Hogwarts." she said.

"You didn't see him cozening up to Dumbledore." snapped the embittered Potions Master. "Barely here a few minutes and already he makes that idiot part of the staff...of course I shouldn't really be surprised given what happened with Lockhart."

Again Hermione smiled.

Snape arched an eyebrow at her.

"And what prey tell are you smiling about?" he asked

"I can't believe I've never seen it before." said Hermione.

"What?" he asked.

"He's like the father you've never had." she said understanding.

"I have no idea what you are talking about." said Snape.

Hermione smirked.

"Your Slytherin is showing." she said still with the smirk. "Dumbledore and Minerva are like the parents you never had."

Snape simply glared at her. He was no longer as drunk as he had been when he first arrived, after sobering up due to the seriousness of the conversation.

"Jarvis coming in and being immediately accepted by them bothers you a great deal." said Hermione. "More than you would even care to admit to yourself."

"Insufferable know-it-all." said Snape seemingly annoyed. "At least I know I was right in not choosing to be apart of that inferior house, I would have been as bad as you are."

"Slytherin git." countered Hermione. "Your cunning wit still doesn't change the fact that you feel the way that you do."

Snape sighed.

"This conversation is pointless." he said.

Hermione kissed him on the lips.

"You are absolutely right." she said. "But that's only because you don't like sharing your feelings."

"Not true." countered Snape. "I share them when it's necessary."

Hermione arched an eyebrow at him.

"Since when?" she asked.

Snape smirked wickedly and lifted her off his lap and into his arms.

"Since I got you into that makeshift bed during 7th year." replied the Potions Master.

"You git." she said noting that he was sober enough to keep from stumbling as he carried her.

"You forgot Slytherin." he said.

Hermione giggled as he carried her off toward the bedroom.

Snape kicked the door closed behind them.

He would need one hell of a pepper-up potion come morning, but it was well worth it. He had gotten quite a few things off his chest and the night he was about to have with his witch was sure to be unforgettable.

At least from her perspective, he would be lucky if he even remembered how he got home.