Chapter 2

Emma

Present Day...

I was standing up and looking in the mirror and wondering if living in New York City had utterly changed me? I didn't feel like the same farm girl that had left Minnesota six months ago. But, whenever I tried to get a new job, someone always asked me which part of the country I came from?

"Country girl, right?" The men would ask with a predatory grin, as if they smelled fresh meat they wanted to devour.

"You're not from this neck of the woods, are you?" The women would ask with a slight sneer to their lip as they stared at me like a bug they'd found in their latte.

Out of town never seemed to be a good enough answer. It was as if they knew I was from a more totally different region than them and that somehow equated to me being beneath them.

Gail had left Minnesota to come to New York with an associate's business degree. She'd finished college with student loan debt because her parents didn't have enough money to send her to college let alone to a university, as she'd wanted to do. James Associates was offering her the chance to work for one year as a junior associate, and then they would financially support her while she went after a bachelor's degree in business.

It was the chance of a lifetime. It was hard enough on me when she left for college, it was even harder on me when she told me she was going to New York City. She was my best friend, even though it was clear that she wouldn't end up like me-married to her childhood sweetheart. But there was one problem, as we said our goodbye's that night. I confessed to her that I wasn't happy. Miserable in fact and it had everything to do with spending my life with Abe.

She said that I should come and see New York, and well, that was six months ago. Six long months ago. Every time, I thought about going back home, I cried, and the longer I stayed on her sofa with her roommate, Claire who wanted me out, I cried.

I'd spent the last few weeks crying like I was grieving or something. I guess I was in a way. I was not losing someone but just feeling helpless and not in control of my life which isn't a great feeling. I could also see the secret dreams I had slipping away from me. For now, I wanted to wait tables, scrub floors, serve coffee. Jobs that didn't require a degree and not necessarily experience based on them being things we did every day.

"Do you have any cleaning experience?" A cleaning agency owner asked me when I applied for a job with her.

I replied, "Yes, I clean up after myself every day." That didn't seem to be good enough, however, and she'd put my resume down with a look of disappointment before she'd dismissed me and called for the customer behind me.

My best friend, Gail said that it was the wrong reply, I should have lied and said that my aunt back home, 'Out of town' or even 'In the big town back home' had a coffee shop and I cleaned there sometimes.

The same reply, I should have said when they asked if I had any experience of making coffee. I told the truth, "I make coffee every day."

I got a frown and a sigh, and a rejection as if I was from a different planet. Honesty was not the best policy here, and I didn't have that get up and go. The type that showed that I could do any job, because I didn't have that professional experience.

The more, I thought about it...I had to lie, but it wasn't in my nature and it was giving me a headache as I tried to practice my lying skills as Gail walked through the door after another hard day of work, "Sweetie, you feeling sorry for yourself again?"

I tried to wipe the tear that started to fall, but I knew that my BFF knew me too well. That and I was surrounded by tissues which clearly showed that all I'd been doing was crying all day.

"No, not at all. You're back early," I sniffled thinking that maybe changing the subject would make me feel better.

She slammed the door shut and headed for my bed, which happened to be the sofa-bed in the middle of the small two-bedroom apartment, if you could call it the middle. Rather it was put in the middle by removing the breakfast table that was once there, so I could get a little more space and keep most of my things out of Gail's room, but a little near my bed. She slumped her butt next to me.

"You need to get off the couch."

I sniffed in my defense, "No one's hiring me. No one's considering me for a role. I need to go back home."

"To Abe?"

She screamed.

It felt as if saying his name disgusted her more than it did me. My childhood sweetheart, the one that I thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with until prom night. That night was supposed to be the start of something new for most, but for me, it was the end of one journey in my life, and I was starting another - one on the road to nowhere.

"I can't get a job. Claire made it clear that if I'm going to stay on the sofa, I need to pay up or move out before she comes back from her trip. Which is in exactly three weeks and four days. Not that I'm counting, and I don't want to go back home," I ranted waving my hands up and down, the most exercise that I'd had all day.

'"Take a deep breath," she inhaled, and I swiftly copied her as I held on to my chest.

"You're blonde."

What's that got to do with it?

"Beautiful and sing like a canary. Remember that gig you did last month?"

I nodded, wishing that she wouldn't remind me. We were at a jazz bar, and the singer was sick, or she didn't turn up. I didn't remember the details. Gail knew the owner and told him that I could sing for the night. I stepped in and decided to sing, thinking that this could be a chance to stay in the city, but this made me even more nervous. Too much pressure, so I had a couple of shots of tequila. Not a good idea for someone who rarely drinks. Not only was I singing during the night, but I was throwing up in the piano by the end of the night after having a couple more tequilas, trying to calm my nerves. It didn't work!

"Yes, I made a fool of myself," I sobbed as the words of the owner echoed through my mind.

"Yes, she can sing, but she can't hold her drink. What a shame."

My one chance in six months and I blew it.

"I'm kidding myself. I couldn't even keep the one opportunity I had going for me. The one. The only one."

The more I said it the more I found myself falling deep depression. I felt even more pathetic now than I did that night.

"I need to..."

She didn't wait for me to finish my sentence. The one that I'd been saying for the past week. Ever since her roommate told me that I needed to contribute or get out.

"You need to hold off drinking tequila and go see my boss. This is the reason that I came home early today. He's having some kind of party - party of the year or something like that."

I chuckled, "Your boss. The one with the big shoes."

She blushed and swept her red hair over her shoulders. The boss that she had the hots for, and her green eyes always lit up, the moment I mentioned him.

"Yes him. But seriously, he's going all out for this party. No expense is being spared, and I told him about you and your voice. He's paying big bucks for someone to sing. Enough bucks for you to contribute and get on your feet."

My mind was shifting back to taking tequila shots and the idea of singing in front of her boss.

"Don't leave me, Emma. Stay," Gail pleaded. "Sing and then if it doesn't work, then I'll help you pack."

I nodded, thinking, how was I going to sing in front of her boss especially if she's right about one thing, not only is he hot, but he has big shoes.