I Want To Hate You 2

Neil then continued, "I don't want to be selfish about myself, I want you to be happy but please don't when I feel that my life will end at least until I can pretend to be happy for your happiness, Riksa."

"I can't keep playing around like this with you, where I've ruined my future for everything I do now."

"I want you to be normal and forget me. You know I already feel like trash, before you can throw me, I want to run from your life. But no matter how far I run, my heart always finds you for me to keep coming back to."

Neil's hand went up to wipe Sain's face, but he pulled his hand back again. He just felt he never deserved to touch Sain. "I'm tired of loving you if you yourself in fact never appreciate this feeling."

Neil turned around, cried silently, and kept his mouth shut not wanting a single sound to escape his lips.

Neil was startled when he felt arms crawl around his waist, and pressed their bodies together. Neil became anxious fearing that Sain might hear what he said earlier which Sain himself didn't mean to hear.

Neil closed his eyes tightly and wished for a dream to quickly greet him. Until Sain's voice sounded in the back of his head.

"You make up your own mind about me."

Neil opened his eyes wide in their same position and didn't move to keep the distance apart. Sain then continued.

'Riksa, what do you really want?'

"All I want of course is you, Neil. My life revolves around you, all these years and I can have you completely now. Like a dream."

It felt like Sain's words were too sweet for him to accept in Neil's own ears.

'What do you expect me to be like?'

Sain then answered Neil's other questions smoothly. "I just want you to be the Neil I know. Be yourself, without being influenced by other people. Your weakness is that you always think of yourself as low and as if you don't deserve anyone."

Sain might be wrong about that, Neil is lowly and doesn't deserve anyone. There were too many weaknesses that even Neil himself couldn't name because there were so many.

"It was long before we got to know each other at school now before you locked yourself in your house during junior high school. I feel a growing love for you, Neil. The first person I told was my mother. Do you know what she did to me? Of course, she was angry and hit me because I became gay just for you Neil, even that I did when I was in first grade," said Sain.

This is a new fact that Neil heard from Sain's mouth. He didn't think that Sain had known him long before Neil knew Sain.

"My mom lived with me for a few months and my dad kept getting mad at me too and sometimes hitting me. They always tried to transfer me to a school outside the city. But I would never give up on you so when I told you about how I started loving you and fighting for you in front of my parents, it's not just bullshit. Love doesn't come without being asked and we can't choose to love, but love comes when I choose to love you between the choices that I could have stopped loving you because of my parents and gave up at that time too. I think with my loss, both my parents started to realize what they shouldn't have done to me. Do you know? I'm an only child and I've never regretted choosing you."

***

"Mom, I'm home!" Skylar shouted after entering the house. Take off his damp shoes, these are sure to leave his shoes smelling bad.

Skylar kissed the cheek of his mother who was busy decorating the cake at the dinner table. His mother, of course, was surprised, luckily his hands moved faster so his hands couldn't damage the decoration.

"Just to be surprised. How come it's not wet, it's raining today." Renjana Skylar's mother asked her son who came home from school with a cheerful face his clothes were still dry. Even though Renjana was sure that Skylar didn't bring her raincoat on the motorbike, she was too lazy. Renjana put it in Skylar took it out, even though it's rainy season this month.

"Mother, it's not that you're grateful that this handsome son didn't come home soaking wet. I'm surprised." Skylar shook his head dramatically. Skylar sat down next to her mother and poked the cream in the bowl to put in her mouth. "You know that annoying person. He lent me a raincoat, Mom."

Renjana smacked her son's thigh lightly with annoyance with Skylar's behavior, "You're not saying thank you, so what's he like?"

"He gave him a raincoat and ran straight away. He came home in the rain."

Renjana was instantly angry at her son's behavior but Renjana still asked Skylar in a gentle tone, "He's raining because he lent his raincoat to you, Skylar. And you still say he's annoying. That means he cares, he cares about other people more than he does. himself."

"Well, that's what annoys Mrs. Because he's nice, I'm having a hard time responding to her." No, it's not like that.

Renjana shook her head at her son's behavior. The sound of Renjana's cell phone on the table filled the void that had been paused. He took and checked incoming messages from a number he did not recognize. Multimedia, Renjana opened it. Like icy water splashed all over Renjana's body, she froze frozen. Ranjana's silence made Skylar realize that whatever her mother saw on her cell phone wasn't good news.

Ranjana's eyes turned to her child, Skylar could see the nervousness and fear in her mother's eyes when she looked at Skylar. The photo sent along with a word that she knew very well who the sender was made Renjana's mind drift to the past, considering that only one person always opposed her and her child's presence.

"Are you all right?" Ranjana's voice trembled, making Skylar's throat tighten.

"As you can see, I'm fine, Mom. What's wrong with you?"

"I received a message. One photo of you being injured and passed out in an alley." Renjana couldn't continue her words only tears started to flow freely. Skylar certainly can't stand still watching his mother cry because of him. Then his fingers wiped away the tears that rolled down his mother's cheeks.

"You can see that I'm fine now. I've never fainted either, Mom. Don't think about it, Mom, it's just a prank."

"It can't be a prankster. If not you, who are you?" Renjana is restless, she is so worried about her child.

Skylar doesn't answer his mother's question right away, he reaches for Renjana's cell phone to see what Renjana is looking at. A stinging pain right on Skylar's chest created an invisible scratch when Skylar's eyes saw a similar photo of him closed with wounds. Skylar doesn't understand how his body reacts every time he sees Neil hurt. Skylar knew very well it wasn't him, Skylar's mind drifted to a meeting at school where he saw Neil who was silent as if he didn't feel any pain in his injured body.

Skylar doesn't like Neil, but that doesn't mean he hates him. There's a mistake here, it's clear that whoever hurt Neil would want to hurt him as seen from how the photo was sent to his mother.

If it wasn't for Neil that person would definitely hurt Skylar.

Skylar's silence caught Renjana's attention until her hand gently shook her son's shoulder. Skylar flinched and turned his attention back to Renjana.

"That photo, it's not me ma'am." There was a moment's pause before Skylar resumed his words, he gave Renjana a look that he wasn't lying. "At school, there is a person who is very similar to me Mom, he borrowed my raincoat just now. The person I often talked to Mom about. Indeed, at school I saw that she was covered in wounds, she was silent."

Renjana grabbed Skylar's arm and furrowed her brows, "Wait a minute, why didn't you tell me the person you talk to a lot about looks like you, Skylar."

"Mom didn't ask."

Renjana exhaled roughly, "I already know who wants to hurt Skylar, so they can't recognize you and hurt other people. That's your grandmother, you know what kind of grandmother you are."

Renjana realized one thing and quickly asked her son, "His name? What's his name?"

Skylar's heartbeat quickened this time along with a thought that returned to the past.

"Neil." A sound similar to a gust of wind escaped from the silenced mouth of Skylar again.

Renjana was no less silent when the longing gripped her chest tighter, she dragged the silence between them with her words. "He's your brother, for some reason I'm sure."

Renjana looked back at the photo on the cellphone in her hand. Someone who looks like her son, only then did Renjana realize that their hair was different. But how could a mother not recognize her own child, even after years apart?

"He doesn't know me, ma'am." There was a tinge of sadness mixed in from Skylar's words.

"We don't know what happened to Neil after we were forced apart, but I know it was Neil. Has Skylar ever thought about why Neil tried to approach and make friends with you, even though you've only met once? Have you ever wondered why Neil always helps you?" Renjana tried to explain to Skylar slowly then she continued. "Your bond is strong, you're twins. No matter how much they want to separate you, you'll still be the same. Even if he forgets you, Skylar. Will you explain slowly to Neil and become friends with him? I don't know why I'm sure he's hurt a lot more. than you Skylar, you know how your brother is."

Skylar's fear of losing his hero again made him anxious. Skylar had been looking for Neil for a long time but it turned out that Neil was around him, within sight of him and the sky kept ignoring him. It's not without reason that Neil is so similar both in behavior and face to his brother, Skylar at that time didn't know who Neil really was because for Skylar Neil could not be replaced by anyone even if the person was similar.

"Honesty is important in this case Skylar. No matter how people want to separate you, that's not going to happen. Look at it now. I really wanted to meet you."