The Dursley's Gift

""DECK THE HALLS WITH BOUGHS OF PRANKS NOW! FA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA-LA!""

I listen to Fred and George sing while hiding around the corner, watching as they hang a bough of holly up in the hallway. Of course, given what they're singing, it's not that simple.

See, ever since we worked together to set up perpetual pranks for Quirrell, we've started… competing, I should say. It started off with just trying to prank certain people first, then coming up with targets to prank. Of course, our targets are almost always people in the opposing House. It's the rare Gryffindor who doesn't give a fun reaction to my pranks.

Especially since Fred and George usually get the blame for it. I'm more of a… shadow pranker. And one day, I will reveal myself to the student body as the Queen of Pranks! "Nya-hahaha!"

Of course the two of them aren't so focused on their own prank set up that they don't hear my sudden laugh. Poking my head around the corner at their questions of 'who's there', I tilt my head and tap it with a fist while my tongue sticks out. "Whoopsie~. Teehe?"

They snort at my act of innocence. Though I really wasn't doing anything this time~. Walking up to them, I peer at the bough as I try to find the trick to it. It doesn't take long due to my familiarity with how they operate.

They've charmed the bough to shoot out belching powder whenever someone moves in front of it, causing them to, well, belch. And since boughs are scattered all around the castle, nobody will know which ones will actually belch at them!

Chuckling, I notice the twins tense at their trick being so easily discovered. But it's only because it's me that it was found. Of course, it's only fair to show them what I decided to do. Though it's less of a prank and more of a… pun.

Holding up what I plan to scatter around the castle, the two of them facepalm. "Rude! I happen to think it's pretty clever!" I smirk. "Especially since if they don't follow the rule, it will launch a bunch of stink pellets so they smell like one too!"

Though they roll their eyes, mischievous smirks cross their faces. And so, I scatter my 'mistletoes' around the school, causing many of the students to smell until the trick is finally realized.

It's the last day before the holiday break starts, and outside the Potion's classroom Draco provokes Ron by calling his family poor. Again. But this time, something new happens. Ron decides to attack him! Too bad for him that Professor Snape chooses that moment to come up the stairs.

While Snape takes points away from Gryffindor yet again, I'm busy talking to Hermione. "So are you planning to head home for the holidays?"

She shakes her head. "Hagrid let loose a hint about what that cerberus is guarding, and I've gotten quite invested in it. Apparently the thing it's guarding belonged to an associate of Professor Dumbledore's. Nicholas Flamel."

I tap my chin in thought. "Yep. No idea who that is." I shrug off her disappointed look. What, did she think I would just randomly know some obscure fact about some random person? That would be way too convenient. Like finding the information on one of those chocolate frog trading cards.

Anyways… "So the three of you have been hanging out and trying to figure it out? How's that going? I know that you and Ron don't really get along"

She shrugs. "Well enough. He's become much nicer than before ever since the troll attack at Halloween." She glances at where Harry is calming him down while Draco heads to the Great Hall to eat with those lackeys in tow. Since they seem scared of me, I've been spending less time with him so they can serve him appropriately.

Of course I told him this already, so it doesn't seem like I just randomly started avoiding him to hang out with other people. This isn't one of those dumb shows where a little misunderstanding blows up into something big. But back to the conversation.

"By the way, you've seemed awfully jittery lately."

I raise an eyebrow as we start to follow Harry, Ron, and Hagrid to the Great Hall. "What do you mean?"

She taps her chin. "I'm not quite sure, but you seem excited for something."

I grin, causing a passing student to back away from us. "I'm just really excited for Christmas. I have a good feeling about it this year. I think Harry and I will be getting quite the worthwhile gift from our aunt and uncle."

Her eyebrows try to climb up to her hairline in surprise. "Don't they hate the two of you though? And vice-versa?"

I nod, my grin widening. "I don't think that will be a problem~."

(Dursley House: Christmas Day)

Dudley wakes up his parents with excited stomps down the stairs followed by an excited squeal when he sees the veritable mountain of presents piled around the tree. And the best part for all of them?

The Potters aren't there this year.

Oh, it's not like they didn't send them anything, off at that horrid school of theirs. Even if they want nothing to do with the twins or that freakish community, they at least put forward the minimum effort to show that they are in fact their guardians.

Of course one could argue that giving two children some pocket money for Christmas is not any kind of effort at all. But do the Dursley's care? Not particularly.

Instead they focus all of their attention on their child. The one who's excitedly eating a breakfast cookie as he tears through the wrapping paper on each gift, barely taking a few moments to look at what he got before moving onto the next one.

"Honestly," Petunia mutters to Vernon," sometimes I think he cares more about unwrapping the gifts than the gifts themselves."

He snorts. "Nonsense. Every boy his age is excited for presents. He always enjoys what he gets to the fullest!"

If by that he means using it one or two times before getting bored and tossing it in the spare bedroom, then he's right on the money. If he even gets that far. By the way he's tossing the presents aside a few might be broken before he even takes them out of the packaging.

Seeing the rough handling of the sometimes expensive gifts, Petunia sighs. Then her eyes come to rest on an envelope. One labeled to the family as a whole, rather than an individual. It's placed snugly on the tree, positioned so that it's not immediately obvious, but will be noticed.

The odd thing about it is that neither of the Dursley parents had written a letter. Sure, they could have done something to surprise their spouse, but that's not how their relationship works. Curious, Petunia aska Dudley to bring them the letter, much to his annoyance. With exaggerated groans he grabs it and trudges his way over to his parents before thrusting it at them.

Rolling her eyes at his behavior, she takes the letter and looks at it. On the other side where the seal is, she scowls when she sees the stamp for that dreadful school that her sister attended. And now her niece and nephew are attending as well.

She's not bitter that her sister was 'special' as their parents put it. Nor that she was denied the same opportunity. No, not at all. Nor is she resentful of the fact that her son is also denied the chance of being 'special'. She's perfectly happy with her normal life.

With a huff, she opens the letter, and the first words she sees are: 'Please read out loud for the whole family to hear.'

She snorts, but does so. Who knows what kind of things they might be able to do should she refuse. She already knows what that dreadful Headmaster is capable of, when he forced her to take in the twins. Suppressing a shiver at the memory, she gets her husband and son's attention before starting to read. Though she quickly realizes that it's a short letter.

"Dear Dursley family. Harry and I both hate you very much. I have no intention of returning after the school year is over, and Harry will not be returning either. You will discover the reason for this shortly.

With hatred: Misha Potter

PS: Merry Christmas you filthy animals-"

Saying the last word out loud, none of them are able to react as the house is engulfed in a fiery explosion, the suddenness of it sending out a small shockwave that shatters the windows of the houses next to them.

It's hours later when the fire department manages to get the blaze under control. Inside are three bodies.

Vernon Dursley.

Dudley Dursley.

Petunia Dursley.

Only one of them is sent to the hospital for treatment.

The other two?

Straight to the morgue.