I milked this shit dry

Qui-Gon and Anakin are about to leave the house when Anakin turns around looking his mother one last time in the eyes.

Anakin : (starting to cry) I can't do it, Mom. I just can't.

Shmi hugs Anakin. Qui-Gon watches from the distance. She kneels down and looks him in the face.

Shmi: Annie, remember when you climbed the great dune to chase the Banthas away so they wouldn't be shot... Remember how you collapsed several times, exhausted thinking you couldn't do it?

Anakin shakes his head.

Shmi: This is one of those times when you have to do something you don't think you can do. I know how strong you are, Annie. I know you can do this...

Anakin: Will I ever see you again?

Shmi: What does your heart tell you?

Anakin: I hope so...yes...I guess.

(Author: Btw he says that in the original...which is pretty sad looking back)

Shmi: Then we will see each other again.

Anakin: I.. will become a Jedi and I will come back, Mom...I promise.

Shmi: No matter where you are, my love will be with you. Now be brave, and don't look back... don't look back.

Anakin: I love you so much.

Shmi hugs Anakin then turns him around so he is facing Qui-Gon, and off he marches, like the brave little trooper that he is. He marches right past Qui-Gon, staring right ahead, tears in his eyes, determined not to look back. (I am a very emotional guy, so I had to fucking cry goddamit this would have been the last interaction with his mom in the original)

Oh no, anyway Anakin and Qui-Gon exit the house and stop before Jira'S fruit stand. Anakin hands Jira some coins.

Anakin: I've been freed, and I'm going away. Buy yourself a cooling unit with this... Otherwise, I'll worry about you. Jira is astonished. She stares, not knowing what to say.

Jira: Can I give you a hug

Anakin: Sure.

She gives him a hug. #wholesome

Jira: I'll miss you, Annie... there isn't a kinder boy in the galaxy. You be careful...

Anakin runs to join Qui-Gon, who has already started down the street. As they walk along together, Qui-Gon notices something out of the corner of his eye. Suddenly, without breaking his stride, he ignites his laser sword, swings around, lunges forward, and cuts a lurking PROBE DROID in half. Qui-Gon inspects the sparking and fizzing DROID.

Anakin: What is it?

Qui-Gon: Probe droid. Very unusual... not like anything I've seen before. Come on.

Then the two of them start running to the ship

This reminds me of a joke:

What do you get when you run in front of a car?

Tired.

Qui-Gon and Anakin run toward the Naboo spacecraft. Anakin is having a hard time keeping up.

Anakin: Master Qui-Gon, sir, wait!

Qui-Gon turns to answer and sees a DARK-CLOAKED FIGURE bearing down on a speeder bike.

Qui-Gon: Anakin, drop!

Anakin drops to the ground just as DARTH MAUL sweeps over him. DARTH MAUL jumps off his speeder bike, and before he has hit the ground, the Sith Lord has swung a death blow with his laser sword that is barely blocked by Qui-Gon.

Anakin picks himself up. The two space wizards, Sith and Jedi, are bashing each other with incredible blows. They move in a continual cloud of dust, smashing everything around them. This is a fierce fight. Anakin gets up, bewildered by the confrontation.

Qui-Gon: Annie, get to the ship! Take off! Go! Go!

Qui-Gon struggles to fend off the relentless onslaught as Anakin races to the ship.

Anakin runs into the main hallway of the spaceship, where Padme and Captain Panaka are working.

Anakin: Qui-Gon's in trouble. He says to take off...now!!

CAPT. Panaka: Who are you?

Padme: He's a friend.

Captain Panaka, Anakin, and Padme rush into the cockpit where Obi-Wan and Acedia are checking the hyperdrive. Or better said Obi-Wan checks the Hyperdrive and Acedia slurp a milkshake while watching him.

CAPT. Panaka: Qui-Gon is in trouble, he says to take off!

Acedia: Oh my almighty SPACE JESUS! It is my fucking time.

Qui-Gon and DARTH MAUL continue their sword battle. Leaping over one another in a cringe display of acrobatics, the two warriors hear the ship fly over them a few feet off the ground. Qui-Gon almost disappears for a moment. Before DARTH MAUL knows what's happening, Qui-Gon is on the spacecraft's ramp.

The SITH LORD immediately jumps onto the ramp after Qui-Gon, but barely makes it. His heels hang over the edge of a forty-foot drop. Qui-Gon swings his light saber with all his might and knocks DARTH AMUL off the ramp and onto the desert floor. The ramp closes, and the Naboo craft rockets away, leaving the Sith Lord standing alone. Acedia then appears behind Qui-Gon he just ran to the Ramp.

Acedia: WTF Dude! It was my time! Ahh, fuck this shit I'm gonna finish him!

He then opens the ramp and jumps down while screaming: GERONIMO!

Qui-Gon: "_"

Acedia lands right before Darth Maul. How did he land? With a fucking superhero landing. Oh yeah.

Maul immediately attack him with a swing to the right, Acedia swiftly got out his own sword...yes the heavily enchanted Katana. For plot reasons that shit can deflect lightsabers and blaster bolts.

Anyway Maul then quickly attacks with an overhead slash which gets parried by Acedia. Acedia then made a strong horizontal slash forcing Maul to take a step back. Maul then his current position to attack with a strong upwards slash. Acedia parries the slash, but the momentum forces him to take a few steps back, breaking his footwork.

Acedia: Alright enough fun, fuck this shit.

Acedia then uses the actual enchantments on the sword. Remember swordsmanship C? Well, Acedia suddenly gets way better and sword fighting, he parries every slash and makes unbelievable counterattacks forcing the sith to go one step at a time backward.

In short, Acedia asserts Dominance. Yeah, he cheats...but at least he knows he cheats and is proud about it.

Maul quickly sees that he has no chance of winning and says:

I will return and next time, I WILL KILL YOU!

Acedia: Good luck mate, you didn't even see 0.1% of my power.

Maul then uses the force to make a dust cloud and makes a run for it.

Acedia: Should I kill him? Nah too bothersome.

Meanwhile, in the space shuttle thingy, Anakin and Obi-Wan rush into the hallway to find Qui-Gon collapsed on the floor opposite the entry. R2 is looking over him. The JEDI is breathing hard, wet with sweat, and covered in dirt.

Anakin: Are you all right?

Qui-Gon: I think so... that was a surprise I won't soon forget.

Obi-Wan: What was it?

Qui-Gon: I don't know... but he was well trained in the Jedi arts. My guess is he was after the Queen...

Anakin: Do you think he'll follow us?

Qui-Gon: We'll be safe enough once we're in hyperspace, but I have no doubt he knows our destination.

Anakin: What are we going to do about it?

Obi-Wan gives Anakin a "who are you?" look. Anakin returns an innocent stare.

Qui-Gon: We will be patient. Anakin Skywalker, meet Obi-Wan Kenobi.

Anakin: Pleased to meet you. Wow! You're a Jedi too?

Obi-Wan gives the boy a skeptical look.

Qui-Gon: Wait did you rescue Acedia?

Obi-Wan: No. He told us not to worry about him he will get to us later

Qui-Gon: NO this was probably a sith!

Obi-Wan: Relax master he is probably fine.

Qui-Gon: All right, I hope Acedia survives. Let's hope this hyperdrive works and Watto didn't get the last laugh.

Meanwhile, Acedia already teleported back to the pub.

Acedia: Well enough adventures, let's have some bartending fun again. Though I will save Qui-Gon afterall I want to see his Interactions with Uncle Iroh.

You know the drill 2 power stones = 2 chapter