[37.9] The Depth of Grief

I walked down the hallway and felt a chill every time I had to take another step.

I really don't feel good about this.

In fact…

My head hurts.

Like… A lot.

I paused to grab my forehead when I heard the sound of something rolling past me.

I looked at my feet and noticed a small red ball rolling past me as if it was leading me somewhere.

"Okay… Maybe I shouldn't follow a self-rolling ball?"

I turned around but realized that the hall I had walked down had disappeared into a black abyss.

"It looks like I have no choice but to go forward." I forced out a laugh, "What's the worst that could happen?"

I took a deep breath and followed after the ball. I watched as it rolled alongside me without stopping until finally it slowed and halted.

I glanced up and noticed a door.

I recognized the numbers on the door immediately.

Not this again…

My hand paused just above the door handle that was already open.

As the door slowly opened, I could hear the sound of a faint baby's cry.

There shouldn't be a baby in there… Right?

I slowly walked in and recognized my old apartment at once.

However, there was now something that was never there before.

A crib.

I cautiously leaned over the crib to look inside.

A bodiless voice spoke in my ear, "It has your eyes."

I covered my ears in a panic, "No! No, it doesn't! This-This isn't real!"

The voice spoke again, "Such a healthy baby."

I nearly fell over my own feet as I shuffled backward, "No, no no! This can't be possible! I-It can't be!!"

Blood-red letters appeared before the crib.

My eyes shrank back in fear as I read it:

Do you regret it yet?

I held my mouth as I tried not to puke, "What's going on?!"

Orange eyes appeared in the darkness, "You're in an illusion, my dear."

The baby in the crib started wailing, piercing my ears with its sharp cries.

Moni spoke in a tantalizing whisper, "Oh, poor Reika. What a pitiful life you lived before this. You only seem to attract those that want to hurt you. No one has ever loved you… Or since."

I shouted, "That's not true! I have love now!"

"Oh? Are you sure?"

"I am! I have a father who loves me! A mother!"

He laughed, "Your other parents used to love you too… Until you become a murderer."

"I AM NOT!" I forcefully closed my eyes, "None of that's true! That wasn't my fault!!"

"It was always your fault. You always pushed everyone away until you were left with friends who never cared about your feelings. Only a cruel girl would want cruel friends."

"Why does that matter?! I-I have much better friends now!"

"Are you sure? Are you sure that if they saw what I saw, they would still want to be your friend? Are you sure they wouldn't leave you?"

I felt myself losing confidence, "T-They wouldn't do that…"

"Of course, they would." He clicked his tongue, "And that boy is just the same as the other. Only horrible men are attracted to you."

"T-That's not true… Cyrus is a good person. He's kind-"

"-That other man was kind at first too. And then… What did he do? Hm?"

"SHUT UP!"

"He took everything from you. And Cyrus will too. It's inevitable."

I grabbed my chest as I felt my heart racing uncontrollably, "YOU'RE WRONG!"

"I'm only speaking the truth. I've seen everything."

"Why won't you stop? Why won't you leave me alone?!"

Moni's laughter boomed throughout the room, "You can stop this. All you have to do is remove the thing that doesn't belong… Now, my dear. What doesn't belong?"

The baby's sharp wails crashed through my chest.

I stared at the hospital crib and whimpered, "Is it… A boy… Or a girl?"

His eyes pierced through me, "You can check yourself. The identification is at the foot of the crib."

I forcefully closed my eyes.

I don't want to know…

"You can even name it." He chuckled, "Although it's much harder to kill after you name it."

My eyes snapped open, "Kill it!?"

I felt something heavy in my hand and looked down.

A sharp blade reflected my own fearful expression.

It wasn't the old Reika.

It was the new one.

…It was the real one.

So this really was an illusion the entire time.

He spoke again, "You just need to destroy what doesn't belong."

I cried out, "Why are you doing this to me!? I never did anything to you!"

"Because I want you."

"This is not how you get me!!"

"Oh, my dear…" He laughed, "This is exactly how I get you."

Smoke crawled up my body and into my forehead.

Thump.

My heart felt like it was slamming into my chest with each beat.

I sobbed as I dropped the knife.

I shook my head and retreated back until I hit the wall.

"I won't… I won't do it."

I slid down and buried my head into my hands, "I can't! I can't…"

All I could hear was the ear-splitting cries from the child.

Please…

Please make it end…

Please…

Moni hummed, "Ah. My fun is ruined. He broke through his desire faster than I thought he would. Oh well."

He disappeared quickly leaving me behind alone in a dark room.

"-Reika!"

A bright light shone from the sudden emergence of a doorway. Cyrus ran out of the blinding light and rushed to my side.

He pulled me close and whispered, "Are you okay?"

I squeezed my knees tighter as I tried to stifle my sobs.

I could hear the panic in his voice as he held me tighter, "It's okay. It's okay. I'm here now."

Astra walked through the doorway, watching us silently.

I whimpered, "Please don't… Please don't kill it…"

Cyrus looked at Astra who turned to the crib. She nodded in understanding and went over to it.

She spoke, "Once upon a time, there was a baby born to loving parents. They grew up in a faraway castle and never had any worries."

I lifted my head somberly to find I was no longer in a hospital room. Instead, I was in a field surrounded by flowers.

In the distance, I could barely make out children running around and laughing.

My head throbbed in pain as I watched them.

I hate it.

He took this from me.

He took everything from me.

I want to…

I want to-

Cyrus kissed the corner of my eye, "I'm sorry I didn't come sooner."

I felt the overwhelming rage suddenly become manageable.

I sniffled, finally getting back control of myself, "My… My head hurts…"

"It won't hurt for much longer." He picked me up and looked to Astra, "Let's return."

Astra nodded quickly and opened another doorway. She looked at Cyrus, "He will probably run once you return."

Cyrus went to the door and paused, "Do you know where to find him?"

She forced on a smile, "I'm sorry but… It's my older brother. I can't sell him out even if I wanted to. My brother isn't himself these days. If I interfere too much, family or not, he would kill me."

Cyrus let out a sigh, "I guess it's enough that you're saving us."

She suddenly grabbed his shirt before he could leave and spoke with urgency, "They are going to target your curse to use you to get to Reika. That evil woman showed her weakness and there's no way big brother will let her go no matter what deal they made. I don't think she'll be able to protect you all for very much longer. Please, be careful."

I felt him hesitate before he responded, "I won't let any harm come to Reika or anyone else."

He stepped through the doorway without wasting any more time.