Chapter 16:
Nightfall arrived with a whisper of perfect ebony that thrives into a comforting hymn of stars. Moonbeams came as hums of light. The moon was a cozy milky glow in the sky, it was beautiful as ever, gracing the sky with its shining rays.
The night that brings ever-warming air welcomes Wade as he entered the park.
Wade took a deep breath to feel the warm yet cold air. As he walked down the path, the moon was gleaming above him. He looked at it softly.
He wanted the peace that's when he sighted a bench nearby a tree.
It was the perfect spot. The moon is certainly visible facing its direction while the tree carries the floating air to dance with its leaves. There, with only silence and the stars for company.
Wade settled at the bench and leaned on it. He felt relaxed as if the world has stopped and all his problems can be effortlessly set aside instantly, even for just a moment.
It has been a long time since he has let his guard down and simply enjoy every second. Every day he's fighting for vigor, there aren't a lot of things that can provoke someone like him.
Wade has lived a quiet and tranquil peace and an established routined life, he had always done things with professionalism since childhood. Heck, he didn't even remember having a childhood.
Since when Wade began to discover how to walk he already started studying and by the time that he can read, he had already fondled a lot of books, especially politics. He never had the time to relax, instead, he drowned himself in a busy laborious life.
He moreover never leaves the house. He was unreasonably focused and determined that he had never even been to a park nor any public places at all. He had only seen the moon from his balcony and window and never outside.
Different from his usual proficient and high moral self, now that he is at ease a bit his face showed a rare trace of fatigue. It was something Wade hasn't shown to anyone at all.
Wade was sitting there with his eyes closed feeling every moment, feeling the air, and the night. Calming his mind, he took a breath with his shoulder laying on top of the bench's backrest and head raised up.
It was a peaceful night, something that Wade likes to enjoy alone. With the warm atmosphere, Wade's cold expression slowly loosened.
He was resting there. With his handsome facial features, you would think that he's someone who's shooting a composed movie.
Suddenly disturbance can be heard in the distance, Wade ignored it but the voices came closer and closer, it also became louder and louder as if they were shouting.
Not even a second later, with Wade minding his own business, a sudden flying notebook landed on his relaxed face, which now returned into a frown.
He slowly removed the notebook from his face and looked around with an angry expression. There he met eyes with two twins who were looking at him with shocked expressions. The two twins then looked at each other before looking back at the scary expression of Wade.
They then smiled awkwardly before waving their hands at him and ran out of the park shouting 'We're sorry' while blaming each other.
Wade watched them with an annoyed face until they were out of his sight. He was really irritated, he was having his rare peaceful moment to be only destroyed by two people who throw things.
He groaned and just sighed to somehow relax his nerve. He shook his head before turning his attention to the notebook he is now holding.
His face shows a rare expression. He looked at it with a somehow... turned off face?
"Why the fuck is this book so..."
He can't even describe it. It was so messy, too colorful, too unorganized, too much for his eyes. He has never seen anything like this before.
Thankfully when he opened it the inside was bearable, it was not good but still tolerable. It has a brochure attached to the page. On top is a handwritten word 'Pyeono Mountain'.
There were some doodles and comments about the certain place. With every page, there were different pictures of places glued, though it was quite messy it's still readable. Some pages have a done sticker which Wade assumed that the owner already visited.
"The owner is surely adventurous and creative," he subconsciously praised.
"But not artistic that's for sure. She must be quite messy too."
Wade was sure that it was a she. The notebook design and cursive writing prove it. He was sure that it was not the two boy's object.
It also has a name on the front page.
"Navier Evangeline," he murmured the name.
He flipped it to the page where the pen was stuck on. It was full of complaints. It was like a diary full of hatred.
'WHY CAN'T I JUST DO WHATEVER I WANT?'
'WHY DO I NEED PERMISSION TO GO?'
'IT'S NOT LIKE PARENTS KNOW EVERYTHING! THEY ONLY KNOW BEST NOT EVERYTHING!'
'I WANT TO GO SO I SHOULD GO!'
He thought it was childish, he supposed humans are really unreasonable sometimes but what the end says struck him hard.
'WHY DO I NEED APPROVAL?!'
That sentence made him think for a second before frowning. He took the pen that was hanging on the top of the page and thought of leaving a comment.
He then wrote.
'Because you need to. That's your role as a daughter. You need their approval for you to be accepted.'
He frowned and scratch the last sentence before continuing.
'What I'm saying is that you can't just think about the things your parents had forbidden you to do or whatever, think about what your parents have done for you first.'
'It's not always about you. Sometimes you have to think of them too. You're not the only one who needs understanding nor you're the only one who has feelings and worries.'
'Sometimes you have to accept something for what it is and move on.'
'Use your anger and senses wisely not on something idiotic things that you haven't think about yet clearly. Misunderstanding can lead to a much bigger sequence.'
'It'll hurt you if someday, you'll see your parents crying because of you. That'll be the worst feeling. The guilt, the pain everything about it. You'll miss them when they're gone.'
'You know you're quite lucky. The stickers with the done stamp mean you've visited that place before right? Then you are loved more than you know.'
'You're lucky enough that your parents care about you... that they listen and don't look at you like your...'
"TSK!" He quickly erased that sentence and replaced it.
'That they treat you good, some people out there needed to work hard in order for their parents to recognize them... as their own.'
He got into writing that he didn't realize that his true feeling was written down in the notebook. He stopped and calmed himself before looking up again.
"It's late," he mumbled to himself as he eyed the stars. His usual stoic expression came back as his guard went up again. He hung the pen on that page as he started to move.
He stood up and started to walk with the notebook being held in his right hand. He approached the bench where the two twins were arguing before putting the notebook on the side, making sure that it won't fall.
"Return to your childish owner."
He left the park and walked back home with the guidance of his phone. He opened the gate himself and walked towards the front door.
As he entered he yelled quietly.
"I'm home..."
He then gave a pity-smirk to himself. Wade knows, he knows it was useless to even say that phrase hoping for a reply back.
He heard laughter in the living room, it was late but his family is still awake watching some documentaries. He peeked at them from the open door but they didn't look back at him been though they know he's there.
He then shunned it and started to walk away but as he walks, their talking can still be heard.
"Who does that boy even think he is?"
"Tsk! Don't mind that cursed child, you don't want to be influenced by him."
"Yeah, with his two-faced personality he might just kill you."
"Pfft- How can that child even kill me, he's nothing. Just annoying baggage to this family."
"HAHAHAHA!"
As usual, he let their talk goes from one ear to another. On the way to the stairs, he passed by the kitchen where he met eyes with a few of his cousins.
"EWW! OH MY GOSH! I MET EYES WITH THE FREAK!"
"Dude, you really have to show up now? I was about to eat. I lost my appetite now."
"What are you still doing there? Go back to your room. Huh! Don't even leave your room, that way we won't be cursed by you."
"Shoo! I don't want any bad luck! UGH, cursed child! I don't want to die. Brother!"
"TSK! Don't ever show yourself in front of us especially my sister. If you need any food go and get the maids."
Wade's cousin shut the door in his face. He then let out a long sigh and just shook his head.
He's used to this, there was nothing new. This was his ordinary.
He went upstairs but stopped on his way when he saw his father walking in his direction.
He bit his lips before looking down as if he's bowing.
"Sir..."
He called out. He couldn't call him father anymore.
"Father," the 8 years old Wade greeted his father.
He stayed looking down. He couldn't look up to him, he was scared of his father. He heard his footsteps in front of him.
"Do not call me that, I don't see you as my son. You are not worth it. If you call me that once again, I will cut your tongue, you ungrateful brat!"
The father then passed beside him.
"Get out of my sight. You monster. You fucking killer!"
"Get out of my sight. You monster. You fucking killer."
His father said with eyes full of resenting in anger and coldness as he passed Wade.
"That insolent child. Just disappear already, so difficult," Wade heard his father mumbled.
"..."
"I see... I'm still not worth it..."
Wade's face became colder and severe. He started to walk to his bedroom.
"I need to study," he said as he closed the door and went straight to his study table.
He needed to study to be accepted and acknowledge by his father... but studying was also his escape from this cruel reality. He's used to this but he knows that it still aches, there was nothing he could do. He promised not to look pathetic anymore.
He studies to distract himself from the pain, to stop himself from crying. He was tired of it.
There were still books on the floor that he already has read. His bed was unused too, his room was quite dim but lamps and the moon were giving the room light.
He sat and got the book he was interrupted reading. He started to write down notes and is studying with determination.
As he was focused on the book, cold wind came inside from his window.
"Ugh," he groaned. He doesn't like it when he's interrupted when he's studying.
To prevent the cold wind he then closed the window and curtains.
******
You're doing great sweety~