ACT 3: Trigger Warning

"You damn dirty apes!" I shouted as I pounded my fist on the ground after pulling myself and Rider from the tainted black mud, "You couldn't let a lizard be more glorious than all of you so you flung your shit at him till he turned into… this fucking wretched monkey!"

"Master. It is not appropriate to call people apes and monkeys." Medusa stated as she patted me on the back.

"Look at me!" I shouted and pulled her blindfold off, revealing her pale eyes and square pupils while easily resisting their petrification effects, "I look like I am ninety seven percent chimp and one hundred percent angsty edgelord teenager!"

And I meant it dear audience. I Grax, the God Emperor of Krogankind formerly known as Grunt, have been defiled, violated, and turned into a goddamned human!

When that bastard Angry Mango tried to hijack my meat bicycle he took it to the shop and pimped it out in his preferred style. No more scales and plates, just skin and hair! Skin covered in ancient curses and profanity and black hair that screamed that I am an anime protagonist with a red headband that I actually would have liked if this wasn't a situation where everything is awful.

I unwrapped the broody black bandages off of my thick wrists and ankles. I am a man, not an emo kickboxer. At least Angra Mainyu hadn't managed to actually revert my physique to that of a teenage Shirou Emiya, and I was still eight feet tall and a huge jacked man. My brown skin rippled over massive muscle insertions and produced visible striations that my thick Krogan hide would never show.

Silver lining, I may no longer be a glorious dragon man, but at least my muscles have never looked better.

"Yes, master. Your muscles are quite the show." Medusa assured me.

"Did I say that out loud?" I asked the woman.

"No, master. We are still telepathically linked and you were shouting that line in your mind like a form of self hypnosis to reassure yourself that you are still the top dog and that not all your charm comes from 'Lizard Swag'." Medusa answered.

Fuck.

At least Medusa was hot as hell and built for sin. She was self conscious of her already lengthy height before the use of Monstrous Strength made her even taller and filled her out like a proper earth goddess. Her vast tracks of feminine acreage would have to be explored later. After I managed to convince Wanda and Jack that I am actually their husband and put together a proper cremation for Kat and Linda. We'd see them again some day, of that I have no doubt. There are too many ways to rez people in the multiverse, and push comes to shove I can almost guarantee that we will someday end up in Dragon Ball and those Namekian dragon balls will do the heavy lifting.

I'd have to bind their souls to the ashes using necromancy, but they'd already agreed to this kind of solution should we ever be parted through death. Jack and I would never die as long as the other lived, but the same couldn't be said of the others. Things may have gone to shit in this verse, but nothing is over.

I took up my hammer and made my way up to what was left of my family after what was one of the most glorious battles we'd ever participated in.

"Drop your… is that a skirt?" Jack demanded and I complied.

"Oh thank God." Wanda sighed in relief as they looked at my still glorious and smooth cock.

After getting Linda and Kat bound to their urns, I ran my clawed human fingers over the controls of my nanohive and set them to resizing my Dragonslayers gear. I'd now have two jackets and pairs of pants, but would need to look into getting some new underwear, socks, and boots. Eh, a late night nano invasion of a department store and that will be handled.

With my need for a new wardrobe solved, I tapped away on the console to get the nanoswarm to repair and resize everyone's armor, and while I did this I talked to Medusa.

"What about you?" I asked the gorgeous woman, "We may still be linked, but that body of yours is now real and producing your own energy. You are free to go wherever pleases you."

"I'd like to stay by your side, master." She told me.

"Good. I was hoping you'd be interested in a more permanent partnership." I grinned.

"You were practically screaming your desire though the link earlier." She told me.

"And yet you stay." I smirked.

"Would you like to feel mine?" she grinned.

I nodded and all my brain blood flowed down to my boner as I felt her lust for me.

I guess it isn't all Lizard Swag after all.

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Three days of vigorous stress testing my prowess as a lover and the results were in. I was undiminished as the heavyweight champion of the bedroom. Whatever I had lost in feral fantasy had been more than made up for in human smoothness and sensitivity. My rope game was still on point despite the loss of half my testicles, little less than a quart, but hey, half my gear is gone.

I also learned a valuable lesson: Medusa is one hell of a freak, and let's leave it at that.

We ended up spending a few months touring this version of Earth, taking the time to decompress after a near whole party wipe. We handled it well, but the stress took time to bleed out. Getting smacked around by three of the greatest demigods of all time can do that to you.

I also needed to adapt to my body. I'd spent far more time as a lizard than I ever had as a human, and though many of the memories I'd absorbed dealt with moving in this type of body, all of those memories had been translated to the muscle memory of a giant lizard man, so I was dealing with over a thousand years of ingrained instinct.

I still freaked people out in a crowd, so at least some things never change.

Body hair was a thing now. Angra Mainyu may have tried to pose as a Japanese teenager, but the guy was an Arab though and through. Demigod status kicked in and kept things from getting out of hand like growing on my back, but my beard was on point. Thick and controlled, lined up perfectly with no need for a razor.

It's good to be a god.

The Horn of Party Hardy was a godsend during this time, and I hoped that we would hit some kind of cultivator world next so we could pick up a supply of dank heavenly herb. You know the kind that the young master's grandpa is hitting constantly while he is in his secluded cultivation that must not be disturbed unless his dickhead grandson pisses off some gold finger toting MC and now it's up to him to take vengeance for the family's face or something. The kind of shit that makes a guy so high he thinks it's a good idea to run off and kill some teenager over not getting up from his grandson's favorite booth at the local five star restaurant or refusing to back down at an auction.

I want that shit in my life.

Eventually it was time to move along before we got caught up in more Fate bullshit like Chaldea showing up. FGO might be an excellent waifu collector game, but I wasn't touching that shit with a ten foot pole until I was an actual god and or ate Superman.

After getting liquored up just right I proved that even in a human shaped body, I am all Krogan.