Lair of the Shadow Broker PT 1

Watching the team leave one after another during the months following our victory over the collectors hurt me more than I wanted to admit, and I am not just saying that because each departure pressured me more and more to return to Tuchanka and meet my kids.

How was I to know that a quarter of the eggs I fertilized would survive?

That's eighty damn kids.

It's not like I could deny them either. Okeer artificially set all my traits to dominant so all the kids look like my clones.

On top of that, Wrex generously accepted every petitioner that showed up looking to join Gatatog while I was gone. I had 300 warriors when I took over after introducing Unvenk's brain to krogan concrete. Now I have over 3000. Eighty kids and 3000 warriors. That is a lot of responsibility for a guy living in his mother's basement.

Fortunately my work with Mordin gave me an excuse every time someone messaged me to come back to that barren wasteland of a home world. Turns out that everyone's favorite McGuffin/Mary Stu from ME3 Eve wasn't necessary to beat the Genophage. I had the goods in my genes already with the whole distilled Shiagur bloodline. I didn't possess the innate immunity to the Genophage that made Shiagur famous in the first place, just a solid resistance to it, but over time that resistance increased more and more and in just over a year I would be completely immune to the phage. It was more than enough for Mordin to forge a cure.

The only problem now was that Mordin was done. He completed the Genophage cure and the ovulation adjustment in two months.

Without my participation in Mordin's experiments, my stay on the Normandy was turning into more and more of a dick move, and not a big dick move - a mangy dick move.

Zaeed had left for his next pay day, Katsumi for her next heist, Thane to spend more time with his son, Samara to continue her obligations as a justicar, Tali was off to become a quarian Admiral, and we had lost Jacob somewhere or he had just fucked off when I wasn't paying him any attention. Which was always.

Technically Jack and I were staying busy doing Spectre missions with the Commander, but if this whole Shadow Broker thing doesn't tee off soon I'll have to stop putting off the other aspects of my life.

Thankfully, the author of my life delivered when the Commander informed us we were bound to Illium to deliver some information to Liara T'soni about the Shadow Broker's recent purchases. Chief Gatatog Grunt vs Nameless Yahg 2185 is on people.

For me and Jack the action started when we stepped off the taxi at Liara's apartment. The area was cordoned off by Illium's police because someone had kindly fired some sniper rounds through Liara's window. Fortunately for us our fellow Spectre Tela Vasir was here to dismiss them.

"You can't do that." The officer weakly complained.

"Spectres bitch, now take a hike." I grunted at the whiny officer.

"Tela Vasir, Special Tactics and Recon." The asari in heavy blue and white armor introduced herself.

"You too, huh?" The Commander mused, "I'm sure four Spectres walking into a bar is the start of a good joke somewhere."

"I am glad your status was reinstated." Tela smiled at Shepard, "You are one of our most famous operatives. Might even get you to sign my chest plate. I assume you had business with your friend this evening, Commander?"

"Pleasure actually." I interrupted, "Was planning to do a four way around the world, but classy. Ya know? Then some dick head decided to ruin it by shooting up the place. Life just doesn't let up sometimes."

Shepard was savvy enough to take the hint and not tell the stranger everything we had going on with our plans to murk the Broker.

"Well, one part of your four way has vanished," Tela looked unamused by my bullshit, "and I haven't found anything useful for tracking her down yet. You know T'soni better than I do. Where would she have hidden her backups?"

That right there is a slip up that we should have been able to call out in the game, but this is real life and now all of us are on the same page on Vasir. We split up to check the crime scene and Shepard quietly noticed a little clue left by T'soni to check her prothean artifacts and relics. I found the data disk left by her quickly, but couldn't access it without using Liara's system and allowing Tela to overhear the recorded call on it.

Decisions decisions. On one hand endanger a bunch of people by allowing Tela to message the Broker's forces, on the other lose the chance to choke a yahg to death without going to their home world and hunting one like a fucking scumbag poacher. The choice was graciously taken from me when the Commander took the disk from my hand and inserted it into Liara's computer.

I am sure all the people that are going to die in the bombing are going to be totally cool with it after they find out they died to bring about my dream fight.

The taxi Jack and I took to the office building Liara's contact worked at showed up slower than the car Shepard and Vasir took, meaning we both missed the bombing and Tela taking off for the roof.

"Damn it." I cursed as we caught up to Shepard at the entrance of the building before radioing Garrus back on the Normandy, "Garrus, lock the ship up tight and get ready for some action. The Broker is going scorched earth on us."

"Roger that." Garrus confirmed my order.

The three of us pressed into the building and our eyes were treated to the sight of wounded and terrified civies, now victims of the Shadow Broker and his goons.

"What tipped you off to Vasir?" Shepard asked while we moved through the lobby.

"The fact that she is a Spectre." I answered.

"I don't follow." the Commander requested clarification

"The Broker is well known for currying favor with Spectres. He sends them big tips, provides them with key information, and in return the Spectres look the other way on his operations and return the favors when he calls on them."

"And right when an enemy of his gets her hands on crucial information about him a Spectre shows up on her doorstep." the Commander connected the dots, "She is responsible for all this."

Any further conversation cut off as a flash grenade landed by our feet.

The biggest difference between the Shadow Broker's forces and the more common mercs were their high tech flash grenades that blinded targets and pop shields. I have a helmet that uses high tech cameras that filter out high intensity light and shields far to massive to pop using such low power methods, so when the Broker's agents came out shooting they were greeted with automatic shotgun fire in response, tearing the cutthroats to pieces.

My capacity to no sell their biggest weapon added to our vast general superiority saw us clearing our way up the building quickly despite the shocking numbers arrayed against us. I'd give them the individual basis edge over the collectors, but after the stress testing we underwent on the Suicide Mission, these guys just didn't have enough fire power to stop us.

We got to the third floor in time to see Tela drop an agent from behind by pressing her gun against his neck, thus bypassing his personal shielding.

"Damn it, if I had been a few seconds faster, I could have stopped them." Tela acted her disappointment out poorly.

"Yeah, who could have seen this coming." I deadpanned, "We are at a rare moment, Tela."

"Is that so?" She asked while backing away from us.

"It is." I confirmed, "It's a rare moment where you can gracefully change horses midstream."

"I don't think I know that expression." Tela shook her head.

"Means hand over the fucking data and we won't kill you." I growled and leveled my gun at her.

"I might still kill her." Liara spoke up from her hidden position as she pointed her automatic pistol at the asari Spectre.

"You'd like that wouldn't you." Tela said before she screamed and used her biotic power to break the window nearby and fling it at us, "You pureblood bitch!"

Liara and Jack had a barrier over us in a heartbeat and after the glass all fell Shepard tackled Vasir off the third floor down to the lobby.

Tela used her biotics to glide down safely and the Commander broke her fall with her neck.

"Head first?" I shook my head, "Why?"

Liara glided down to pursue the fleeing Spectre and I looked at Jack.

"Can you do that for us?" I asked the wife.

"Hell yeah!" She shouted while she jumped into my arms for a princess carry.

"Krogan Airdrop!" I yelled as I jumped off the ledge.

Jack used the blue glowing powers of her mind to land us safely and we took off with the Commander who gamely shook off the fatal fall like it was nothing.

A few agents tried to slow our pursuit with their bodies but failed miserably. It didn't stop Tela from hauling ass and taking off in her hover car. Liara and Shepard pursued in taxi they hijacked while Jack and I hotwired one of the parked cars and took off after them with my lovely wife doing her best Vin Diesel impersonation as she put the pedal to the metal.

"Babe," I got her barest attention, "what's most important in life?"

"Family." she answered in a deep voice and we both laughed our asses off in hot pursuit of Vasir.

"Damn, this pursuit is so hot." Jack commented when we saw a huge freighter wipe out in front of Shepard's taxi, the Commander pulling some jedi bullshit to evade where as we easily scooted over it.

"Get her Space Momma!" I shouted when they began clashing the sides of their vehicles against each other and cheered when Vasir's car ate shit into a building.

When we all landed we followed the purple trail of blood from her car to the nearby restaurant. The asari Spectre took a hostage we all totally cared about not killing.

While Space Momma tried talking Vasir down, Jack caught my attention.

"Doesn't this place look familiar?" She told me and I realized we were down the street from Pedro's.

"Live for the beef!" Nakmor Draug shouted as he came down the walkway faster than an NFL linebacker, tackling Vasir to the ground.

"Die for the beef!" I yelled as I joined him in raining punches on the downed asari.

She tried to throw us back with a biotic explosion, but it slid over our shields and we kept on wailing on her till her frankly absurd barrier dropped and we beat her a bit more for good measure.

"You picked the wrong team bitch." I shouted as I kicked her over to the nearby planter box.

Liara got the data she was looking for and I got to beat ass with my best friend. Wins all around.