It Will Still Hurt The Same

[GRANT]

"You have to make me a promise, little wolf," Gideon voiced and Grant let out a sad low laugh.

The warrior looked at Gideon, trying to understand whatever the fuck was going on in his mind, before giving up, and closing his eyes. He didn't want to remember their last goodbye as a bitter one. He wanted to relish this taste.

He wanted to never forget what the love of his life tasted like, felt like, his breathing patterns, and literally everything that he could possibly gather from this bond of theirs. It would hurt, and he knew that. They both did, and yet they didn't have the power to do anything about it.

"What now? Don't tell me to be happy, because you know I won't be. Rejection hurts, but it's not like I can avoid it anyway," the little wolf said, having given up on hearing this man say his name out loud.

He wasn't even sure why he was still hoping that Gideon would call out his name as they kissed, and the more they stood in this hallway under the sun, the more he was sure, he would never get to hear his name from his mate's mouth.

Reality was a son of a bitch, but so was life, and yet for some reason, everyone wanted to stay alive and reign. they wanted to see what the future held, even when it hurt more than anything.

Then again, it was nature that had kept them like that; having too much hope, reigning in their pain, cheering on when obstacles came but was this an obstacle too? And if it was, who the fuck was the one being the fucking obstacle anyway?

"When your true mate comes, please love him or her. Be kind to yourself then. Don't worry about me or anything. I won't tell you to be happy because frankly, I don't know what it means to be happy. I just live my days as they come," Gideon said and Grant just sighed.

This wasn't what he expected, at least not when he was a few seconds away from the ultimate rejection. Life was a bitch but maybe the moon goddess had truly cursed the both of them to never find happiness, yeah?

"I can try," the little wolf said, unsure of what he was supposed to do.

It wasn't like he could sit here and wait forever anyway. They were both warriors and had responsibilities to their people. Maybe the fates would let them be together after a given period, but until then, it would be hell.

"That is more than enough. But if ever you need me, not for sex though, but if you truly need a friend, I will always be a whisper away" Gideon said and the warrior laughed sadly.

"A whisper? That's funny," Grant said sadly even though he somehow knew that there was a truth to that. The last time, he had heard Gideon tell Criselda that he was just a whisper away. Maybe that was supposed to mean something, but it was beyond him.

Perhaps there would come a time when he would need Gideon and he would show up, right?

"It's not a lie. If you need me urgently, just whisper my name," Gideon said, his tone serious and assuring the warrior that it wasn't a lie. even if the warrior ever needed him and whispered whatever the fuck they needed to, what right did he have over Gideon?

What would be his reason to depend on a man who had rejected him? What hope was he supposed to cling to, when life was being bitchy to them both? The warrior was drained emotionally and he just needed a long night's sleep.

'Wow, that's some fucked up way to give me closure,' Grant thought angrily even though he tried so hard to smile at Gideon. It was hard, though he hoped that his performance was stellar, otherwise, he would cling to the man who had just rejected him.

This mate he was given was a hilarious one. Rejecting him and giving him hope? That had to be the most fucked up thing for a mate to do, but then, the warrior had learned that Gideon never had any attachments outside of Criselda.

Grant had understood that Gideon was so desperate to keep him safe, that he was even putting in an effort.

He knew for a fact that this witch, would have made a good mate because, even though the man never knew how to express himself, he was trying to make things right. He was worried that the reaction would affect the warrior's mindset and he would risk his life.

Gideon giving him the whispered secret was not just a tip. This was someone who thought he would make it better, and the werewolf's heart fluttered at that thought. He was being rejected and loved at the same time, on the sweet taste of broken goodbyes.

"What will I say? like, 'Gideon of Greroth, come save me?' That sounds corny," Grant said, making Gideon raise his eyes at his mate.

He could tell that the little wolf was trying to make the conversation light, but that would have been better if Gideon wasn't turned on by everything this werewolf warrior did. The man didn't even have to do anything and Gideon was already at his mercy, damn.

"Oh yeah? Don't worry, little wolf, when that time comes, I will show up for you, as a FRIEND," Gideon said, insisting on the friend bit. He didn't know why he did that, but he felt like a dick afterward. Emotions were screwing him over and he had no idea how to deal with them.

If this was his karma, then damn, it was working overtime.

"Okay friend, let's get this over and done with then," Grant said, the pain in his heart increasing tenfold. He had tried to be strong, but damn, the ripples in his heart and the sparks he was feeling by just being this close to Gideon, was screwing with him.

'Ouch.' That was what Gideon could make of that statement. He shouldn't have insisted. He shouldn't have said it in the first place. Now he was just certain of what to do.

"Yeah," Gideon said sadly, before adding, "I'm nervous about doing all this. I wish there was an easy way out through this. Oh, wait, what if you reject me first, so it won't hurt you as much? That should minimize the damage by me.

"I can handle myself though, so you don't really have to worry about me, I'm a strong warrior," Gideon said and the little wolf just laughed at him.

"I see you truly have no idea how this works, eh? You are an innocent in love, my lovely mate, and it's cute how you are so clueless about this of all the things. Anyway, there is nothing like it hurting less or more than when you say it, love.

"It will still hurt the same, no matter who says it. Don't worry though, I think I was mentally prepared for this," the little wolf said and Gideon let out a whimper.

He hadn't expected that his mate was expecting his rejection.

This wasn't how shit was supposed to go down. This wasn't how they were to address each other.

Maybe it wasn't too late for him to reconsider the rejection and just hug his mate, and apologize for being a stupid coward, yeah?

Goodness, when had he become this confused?

"Okay, fine. here goes nothing," Gideon said nervously, unsure of whether there was something he needed to say first. Maybe a speech about being a dickhead or being a tardwit mate?

This was an all-time-new, even for him.

"Are you always this nervous? For someone who wanted to murder the lycan king, you look different," Grant said and Gideon just laughed sadly, again. It was almost like this was his fate, but the sooner he got this done, the sooner they could go home.

He didn't want Criselda to keep waiting for him, especially since he had been gone for too long already.

"Matters of the heart, young wolf. Matters of the heart scare me a lot," Gideon admitted finally.

"Okay then, let's do this, yeah," the werewolf warrior said.

Breathing in a deep sigh, Gideon took a few steps from his mate, because he couldn't do this while looking at him or even holding him. If he did it, then he was the one who wouldn't have been able to let go.

And that would be a shitstorm into the weird.

"Okay. I, Alanor Gideon—"