Different Feelings

A longer chapter, about 2.5k. I did not really want to release it one by one so I put it into one.

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***

While Barbara was recovering favorably and there wasn't much longer before she would be able to meet with her family, the Cholera symptoms suddenly appeared on Yomite.

Although he understood the symptoms due to his knowledge, the intense pain and diarrhea that gave no leeway for any resistance wasn't something endurable even for Yomite's body created by a goddess.

His body did not have immunity or resistance against diseases or poisons and that was one of the greatest weaknesses and the main flaw of his body, as of now at least.

Because the treatment method had been taught to the doctors and maids, the six patients including Yomite were provided with oral rehydration solutions, and steps were taken similar to Barbara's case in order to prevent them from getting dehydrated.

But in a stroke of misfortune, and irony, Yomite's condition was far more severe than everybody else.

The savior had it the worst of them all, such was the cruel irony of fate...

A day later, after Yomite fell ill, the disease caused disturbances within Yomite's consciousness, and he was wandering between the abyss of life and death.

The majority of Cholera germs would commonly be destroyed by stomach acid, while the surviving germs would breed rapidly in the small intestine.

However, sometimes the symptoms could become heavier with a marked difference in case the patient didn't produce sufficient stomach acid.

In such a serious case, the patient wouldn't just get stomachache and diarrhea, their body would also convulse, and their consciousness would be disturbed.

In most cases, this was caused by the cholera germs proliferating at an abnormal rate.

The problem was that the death rate of such serious patients was extremely high compared to other patients whose condition wasn't that serious.

(My body feels heavy...)

To Yomite, it felt like his body didn't belong to him anymore.

Unknown amounts of time had passed...

There was a heavy sense of fatigue as though gravity had been tripled. His throat was hurting, parched and in need of water, but he couldn't utter a single word.

(This might be bad...Is my life really about to end? Again? Like this?)

His consciousness had been disappearing several times since last night, so he understood that his symptoms were really bad.

Even his willpower was hitting rock bottom.

He couldn't do anything.

For his life to meet its end in less than a few months after he was reincarnated; moreover, with him being unable to even move a single finger of his satisfactorily, as expected, even for someone like him, that was something he was unwilling to accept.

Even so, now that he was in this state where he couldn't do a thing, the willpower of his absolute refusal of death was vanishing like water that was spilling from his palm.

(Not good, this might be seriously bad...Someone...)

Humans would be beyond saving if they lost their willpower.

The only reason Barbara got out of the worst was because Yomite was there for her.

Putting it another way, humans were creatures that wouldn't die that easily as long as their willpower held on to the embers of life.

Even after their stomach was cut up, limbs were broken, and their bowels burst out from the stomach pressure, humans had a hard time dying if they didn't accept their death.

Conversely, someone without the will to live would easily die like a burnt-out candle, even if they were just lying down peacefully on a mat.

Unseen, invisible hands of the abyss were pulling Yomite down into a dark underground, as though to sap the vitality, stamina, and willpower that he needed the most to live.

He felt a feeling of weightlessness, as though he was falling forever.

Yomite resigned himself for his time to end, prematurely, in this world of Teyvat.

He remembered this feeling from when he died and appeared in front of the goddess. He felt the same.

That drunk-like feeling. As if he was floating away...

His end was near...

(Hu Tao...always said to accept death with open arms... Everything hurts...every movement I make, even if I lay still...maybe it won't be too bad, to just let go...again...)

The will to resist or the will to stand up were already gone from him.

When he was about to entrust himself to this flow of falling down forever and closing his eyes for good, the moment all the tension left his body...

There was a soft feeling that liberated him from gravity, and he felt his body being lifted up.

It was a nostalgic warmth...it was as though a cradle that rescued him up to the ceiling and was protecting him.

Yomite noticed that within the warmth, there was a pleasantly sweet fragrance tickling his nose. It was a scent that he knew better than anything in 'this' world.

(This scent...It can't be...)

The first girl he met ever since coming to this world. She was always at his side from the moment he came here.

She was always there when he turned around. Making dry jokes, teasing him and annoying him at every moment.

The instant he was aware of that familiar body scent, Yomite recovered his consciousness and willpower that were melting into nothingness.

There were people who were waiting impatiently for his return. He shouldn't forget that. Hu Tao, Lumine, Fischl, Paimon, Iris, Jean, Kaeya, Diluc, Amber and many more...

There was no way he could allow himself to be defeated by a disease like this without fighting back.

At the same time, Yomite couldn't help but feel a sense of danger within his consciousness that was finally clearing up.

That was, for him to be able to feel Hu Tao's scent like this, didn't that mean she was near him right now?

(Or is it just a hallucination? Yeah...There is no way Jean would let anyone in, I gave her orders after all...)

Yomite's consciousness was slowly awakening along with the sensation of pain that was spreading from the back of his head to his whole body.

"Are you awake~? Assistant-kun~!?"

Yomite opened his eyes. The familiar but breathtakingly beautiful face of Hu Tao whose flower-shaped eyes were wet with tears filled his sight.

( ...Say...this has got to be a dream...Hu Tao would never cry, her eccentric personality and the way she doesn't understand human emotions is just too much...)

He wanted to yell loudly, but his lips could only make a hoarse voice.

(Please don't be here...Please...Why is Hu Tao in this kind of place!? Even though only maids should be allowed to come near. What if she gets infected!? What were you thinking, Jean!?)

"Please open your mouth and drink this. You haven't been taking water since some time ago because you would always vomit it right away~!"

It seemed he was in a very dangerous condition while he was unconscious.

He had also resigned himself to death once inside that dream, so Yomite gave up questioning her and obediently drank the oral rehydration solution.

The sweet taste passed from his tongue to his throat.

He could clearly feel it moistening his body from the inside.

Rejuvenating him...

"Uu...uu...Yomite...*Hic* finally..."

Hu Tao seemed to feel spent when she saw Yomite gulping down the drink. She sat down and started sobbing.

When he looked closer, she looked like she had wept her eyes out from the swelling around her eyes.

Her hair was also looking messy and her white skin was also losing its luster. Perhaps she hadn't gotten any sleep.

(Surely she wasn't crying all this time while I was unconscious, right...?)

Yomite recalled Hu Tao's warmth that he suddenly felt the instant he gave up living inside the dream.

He weakly glanced at her, fidgeting in her seat, "I don't know what's wrong with me...what is this feeling in my chest?"

She placed the hand where her heart was located and it was violently beating.

"I...I don't want you to die..." her lips trembled as she spoke.

For her to say something like that despite being the director of a funeral parlor was dangerous and prohibited.

Especially if someone important from the elders of the Wangsheng Funeral Parlor had heard her, she would be stripped of her position immediately.

She was taught that if it was someone's time to go, then there was nothing she could do about it and should accept it with a straight face and without showing any emotions...as that was simply fate.

Even during her grandpa's funeral, she didn't cry and couldn't.

Not being able to do anything, only to prepare a departing ceremony for him.

Each person of Teyvat had a certain destiny, certain fate, such was one of the rules stated by the Gods.

Yet right now, she was clearly having a panic attack, being conflicted about the sense of values of life she was taught ever since she was small and the new suffocating feeling in her chest.

There was no way she could accept if Yomite had died like that, but that would be going against the teachings of Wangsheng Funeral Parlor.

In a way, she had already gone against her teachings as she was just supposed to be watching until he died and his soul left his body, then to perform a ritual.

Her presence...was enough for Yomite to slightly recover from the clutches of death, thereby going against the flow of life and death.

Yomite was fated to die here today, yet he didn't.

He felt touched after seeing someone like Hu Tao act so emotional...

He couldn't help but feel grateful for her devotion that saved his life.

You know...

He really just...

"Thank...you...Hu...Tao...I lo...ve you..."

He didn't want to let go of her and wanted her to be with him after all.

Hu Tao widened her eyes at the sudden confession.

She was too overwhelmed with so many emotions in the past few days, that she just stared at him with a blank look.

From anger to sorrow to now, happiness and confusion, she didn't know she could feel something like this.

She never did.

The hand that touched her cheek was hot. Her eyes, gazing at Yomite from up close, were moist.

But she had decided.

Her answer was clear.

The first person to have ever accepted her for who she was other than her grandpa, deserved a huge place in her heart.

She had known this for a long time, that he became a huge part of her life.

Yet she was afraid, ironically of a similar thing Yomite was afraid of.

She was afraid that if she told him about these newfound and never before explored feelings, he as the only person that accepted her would feel weirded out by her behavior, and might potentially even leave her, just like everyone else did.

And she couldn't stomach that...but now the answer was loud and clear, shouting within her mind.

"Mhm...I feel the same way. My chest feels tingly~."

She was finally ready to face what's to come.

Yomite opened his mouth once again, but she put her finger on his lips.

"You need to rest now!~ Once you are cured, we can talk about this and enjoy ourselves, kay~? Kay kay kay~? Fischl is also waiting for you and wants to tell you something..."

That look, everything about her, made him feel very warm inside.

In his old world, he had dated quite a few women, but during the entirety of those relationships, none of them ever looked at him like she did just now.

They were all just friends with benefits in a sense, but Hu Tao was someone he could genuinely imagine staying with till he grew old.

Yomite wanted to hug her. He wanted to hug Hu Tao's trembling small body tightly and caress her head while consoling her.

He really loved this girl after all.

He couldn't lie to himself any further.

(She isn't the type to cry...she shouldn't cry...make a smile, Hu Tao...tell some jokes...)

"Make...a smi...le."

Yomite was vexed by his exhausted body that couldn't do anything and only barely managed to lower his head.

Hu Tao shook her head before she clung onto Yomite's neck and wept again.

There was a bright sweetness like a sunny place from Hu Tao's long dark brown hair that lost its glossiness from exhaustion. It was a scent that was a characteristic of hers.

Yomite mustered all his strength and somehow managed to hug Hu Tao's head. The loveliness that was different from what he felt until now was filling his chest.

"Hug...Tao.." Yomite gave her a weak smile.

Hu Tao widened her eyes and snuggled even closer into his embrace. "So you do know...how to tell dry jokes...dummy~..."

***

Originally, Yomite's stamina far surpassed Barbara.

After he recovered his consciousness and the worst of the illness was over, his recovery was quick.

Surprisingly, a week later, Yomite had recovered to the degree that he could wake up and walk around if he felt like it.

(I've defeated it...The disease that stole my mother...)

Yomite thought as he gazed out of the window, still sitting on the bed.

He knew that somewhere out there, in the soul stream where the soul of his mom was resting, she was deeply proud of him.

"Still, how did you enter the Knights' Headquarters?"

He questioned Hu Tao's presence. Jean was told to not let anyone in and stationed many Knights outside.

"Ah, yes, it wasn't that difficult...When I hurriedly rushed to the Headquarters, the knights wouldn't let me pass. They wouldn't tell me anything about your condition either. You told me not to hurt anyone from Mondstadt, so I waited patiently outside for five days straight, but once Fischl returned to Mondstadt from her long quest and heard what happened, she kind of just electrocuted everyone in the vicinity and we freely entered through the front door...there, we met with Acting Grand Master, who told us she would make an exception for one of us, but that certain someone would also have to stay in the quarantine."

"..."