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Currently on chapter: 88 on Patreön...
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The giants were idiots, the very definition of that word, there was no other way to describe their limited brain power they wielded, why did I say this? Well, once again, they believed in the very poorly planned plan of Thor dressing as a bride…. I mean, how hard it was to notice the bride had a beard, was six foot tall, and had well defined muscles….
Heck even I would've been a good tell for this mission being wrong, but they immediately believed me when I said I was Freya's lesbian lady in waiting.
But if that wasn't enough to tell, something was wrong, the retarded giants still didn't suspect of us, when Thor ate a fucking cow by himself, like a full cow head to toes, they simply shrugged it off…
To be honest, I felt like dressing up was just Odin's way to troll us, I am pretty sure we would've been able to trick the giants without any makeup.
"Take this… lovely wife," The giant smiled, handing Thor his hammer, "You can hold the hammer I stole from Thor," Ahhhh how can they be soooo stupid!!!!!??!?!??
"You stole this from Thor?" Thor the bride asked, holding the hammer tight, "That's hilarious, because I… am…. THOR!!!!" With that he broke his wedding dress, and proceeded to beat the ever living crap of the giant king.
"The bride is beating the king!" The giants shouted in alarm.
"For the love of!!!! The bride is THOR!" I shouted, how could they still think Thor was a woman.
"Thor?" One of the giants muttered, tilting his head to the side.
"Yes…" Was this it… would they finally understand the situation.
"I see… Thor is a woman," I… almost fractured my skull at that with a sound barrier breaking facepalm.
"I'm surrounded by idiots," I groaned, rubbing my temples.
"I always thought her beard was too well kept to be the beard of a man," a random giant added, nodding as if he finally understood something.
"That's it! I'm killing you all!" After that, I started massacring the giants… they were too stupid to be allowed in the same universe I was in.
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After the battle, were we killed a few thousand giants, and recovered the hammer Thor had let the mentally disable giants take from him, it was time to go back to Asgard.
"I knew we would be great brothers in battle," Thor exclaimed, grinning with delight, "I was crushing skulls, while you for some reason lectured each and every single one of them why they were idiots and how they should be grateful you were ending their idiotic lives, all while constantly repeating you couldn't believe they believed I was a woman,"
"Thor you are the opposite of anything remotely feminine," I sighed, my eyes narrowing at him, "The fact they believed… Thor, not your persona, THOR was a woman, was… too much, I mean it already was very stupid the fact they thought you were Freya, but after you broke your dress and they still thought you were a female… it was too much,"
"I see, well… they are not known for their gray intelligence," Thor barked in laughter.
"Thor you let them… not once, but twice! To take your symbol of power," I stated, with a chuckle, "It makes me think you are even more mentally challenged than them… and as we seen today… that threshold is vast,"
"Hey I!..... I see your point," Thor sighed concurring with me, well that was the first step, accepting there was a problem.
"Good, now let's go… I really want to sleep this memory off," I chuckled.
"We could drink it off?" Thor offered with a hopeful smile.
"That's…. a great idea, I need a drink," I accepted his invitation, why not…
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[Odin POV]
Being me was great… why? Well, I got to enjoy seeing others embarrassed themselves, like I was doing right now, seeing Thor and Adam, on their mission to recover Thor's hammer.
"You are enjoying yourself a little too much," Frigg scolded, a frown slowly forming on her face.
"I am," I bellowed in laughter, how could I not enjoy seeing Thor as a bride and Adam lecturing the giants on how stupid they were, all while looking like a Tomboy lesbian.
"Sometimes you are just a big child," Frigg giggled, "Did they finish the quest?" she asked.
"They did," I nodded.
"And are you ever gonna tell them the mission was and has ever been unnecessary because you have always been able to summon the hammer to you…. regardless of where it is?" Frigg inquired.
"... Let's keep that between us, can we?" I chuckled nervously.
"I suppose I could," Frigg smiled, "If you do something for me,"
And that's how the blackmail I had foreseen coming from my wife had finally arrived, did I regret it? No, seeing Thor and Adam making a fool of themselves was worth every single second of this, "I will do as you please," I smiled.
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[Vesta POV]
Adam was different to anyone in the Roman Pantheon, he was childish, yet serious… loving yet hating, I could see the wild flames of hate swirling inside of him. And yet, with all that anger, he was able to act as if nothing was bothering him.
He was a mystery, one that I couldn't help but find myself digging deeper and deeper, it was vexing to no end.
"Vesta," Jupiter said, entering my room.
"Jupiter," I bowed slightly, "What can I do for you?"
"I wanted to ask you about your opinion of Adamas," Jupiter replied.
"Well… there isn't much to say, he's a good kid, that much I can tell… but he has been hurt a lot, no matter how much he lies to himself about that," I stated, with a frown.
"I know that much," Jupiter sighed.
"I think we should be on the green with him as long as we don't betray him," I added.
"So you came to the same conclusion," Jupiter sighed, "Juno, is not sure of keeping him here, but I have a feeling he will be a great asset to us if handled carefully,"
"I think… I can befriend him, he seems to like me… maybe just because I am the Roman aspect of Hestia, but he seems to be fond of me," I sighed, "So don't worry," leaving out the fact I was somehow fond of him too already.