A Meeting with the Omnipotent

"God?"

Dion gave himself a moment to think, and continued, "I don't believe in God!"

"You don't believe in me even though I am right here, in front of you?"

This response, as exasperated it is, came from the being claiming to be God.

"Speaking without a mouth may seem special, but I'm sure you were simply born with a defect," said Dion.

Although curious as to why he appeared in this seemingly infinite white space after choking on a biscuit, Dion would never miss the opportunity to crush someone's ego. Even if that someone was the almighty creator.

"A-Alright, that's fine! Mortals have an inability to perceive me as anything besides light, but I assure you I have a mouth! Anyways," the self-proclaimed God cleared his throat, "I brought you here to tell you two things."

"Then spit it out, and hurry, or else I'll call Buddha."

"The current Buddha and I are good friends, so that threat doesn't scare me in the least. But yes, the first thing I want to tell you is," 'God' paused as if trying to create a tense atmosphere.

"I died?"

"you have die--..."—offended by being cut off, the omnipotent being's tolerance levels lowered considerably—"Yes! Please, stop interrupting me!"

Dion, almost looking bored by the situation continued, "Cliché AF man! And, you're awfully emotional for something that should be omnipotent and omniscient at the same time, y'know?"

'God' clicked his tongue, and continued speaking as if unperturbed, "As for the second thing, you will be given a second chance."

"Oh lit! I'd like to return back to when I was five years old, I did this one really embarrassing thing that has been in my mind ever since, for twelve years!"

"You mean when you accidentally swallowed a fly, and belched it into another person's-"

Dion, not wanting to be reminded, cut off 'God' again, "Yes I mean that! Okay, send me back!"

"Well, that's the thing. I'll be sending you to a different world, of your choice, of course."

"This really is cliché," Dion sighed, "then send me to the Pokémon world I guess..."

"Wonderful choice! And it will continue to become even more cliché, because you also get a wish!"

'T-this old thing is turning my life into a web novel...' Dion thought.

"Something like that, so please tell me your wish."

'Seems he can read my mind, so I don't have to waste energy talking to him!'

Dion, obviously still trying to do a little trolling, went on to put serious thought into his wish. He could be even more generic and ask for a system or even grab an ability from some other form of fiction, but he was too lazy for that.

'I want to be at the pinnacle right from the start, right?'

"Don't you dare..."

'Yeah... I think I want...'

"Fucking hell you're gonna make me do that much work, Dion?!"

'I want a country.'

The orb of light that called itself God became red in color, and was furiously vibrating, but let out a response anyways, "S-sure..."

"Yeah, I thought up the details so can you just, like, give me a country? Thanks."

"Go fuck yourself."

And Dion's vision went black.