After considering everything, the conclusion Emery arrived to wasn't a hard fought battle. It verily relied on the question: what else does he have to lose? The answer was nothing. He no longer had a place to call home, no family or relatives, and the people he had grown close with died a gruesome death. Gwen cut off ties with him and even though he had Julian, Klea, Thrax, and Chumo back in the Magus Academy, time was the only thing they needed to eclipse him in terms of cultivating the elements. Perhaps, they had already progressed so far ahead of him that once he returned to the academy, he would only be spending the rest of his time trying to catch up with their shadows. So, his only choice was to go big or die trying to go against the cruel world that was unforgiving to the ordinary and achieve whatever cold mission he had left.