[7] A CONFESSION OF A KILLER

"I killed someone." she said wearing a serious expression in her face. My jaw dropped as she said those words.

I looked at her with disbelief, "What? Are you making fun of me?" I asked, angry.

Her eyes wandered around for a seconds before she look straight into my eyes. I don't know but instead of being scared of her knowing that she killed a human, I feel sympathy for I see the emptiness inside her round black eyes.

"I killed someone." she repeated. I look at her and raise my right eyebrow.

"How come you did? Explain yourself Ms." if it's true that she killed someone, I know that I can't make myself believe by just looking at her tiny body and angelic face. She looks so fragile like a glass. She looks like a person who can't hurt even a fly. Or so I thought. I'm a detective and I shouldn't be deceived by her appearance.

"I killed someone." she said again. "Someone who's really close to me." she paused for a second and look the table between us. "I thought she's brave enough to fight back, but she's weak. She's the weakest person I've ever met," there was pause. "So stupid of me to think that she's strong. She's too innocent and I hated it. She's too good to be true. She thought everyone likes her because she's lovely and they want to befriend her. Nah, she didn't knew that they're just using her. Abusing her kindness. She knew about it but the thing I hate the most about her is she act like she didn't know! She's still smiling! She's so pure, I hate her! She can't do anything even if they bullied her, hurt her physically and make her insane mentally! They made her crazy, she looses her sanity! So I killed her. She doesn't deserve to lived in this world full of abusive people." she said and look straight into my eyes, once again I see her black eyes, but it's not like earlier it's not empty now I see a person, a miserable person behind the emptiness of her eyes. No matter how hard she tried to hide it, she failed.

"Why her? If you could just killed the bullies and abusive people you're talking about?" I asked curiously. I have a point right? Not that I'm tolerating her to kill but it doesn't make sense to me.

She smirked and stand up, "Wanna know why?" the smirk on her face is now gone. "Because.." she paused, I feel tense, nervous at the same time kinda excited to know her reason. "I can't. I can't kill them."

"What?" I shook my head and looked at her with disbelief. Why? I mean I thought she's a killer because she killed someone and now she's saying she can't kill those people? "You killed someone but you can't kill them? What do you mean? It doesn't make sense!" she's just staring at me. "Are those people you're talking about are powerful people? And the girl you killed is just a nobody, is that it?! Who did you killed. Tell me."

Shes smirked, again. "You wanna know who I killed?" she started laughing like a maniac. My eyes widened, is she crazy?! Suddenly, she stopped laughing and looks like she's about to cry. "It's me." she smiled as tears stream down from her black round eyes to her rosy cheek. "It's me whom I killed. I killed myself because I hate myself. I killed the old me. I killed myself." she started crying. "I hate being me. I'm weak, kind, so pure back then. I thought they're real friends. But they just used me! I knew it all along! I pretend that I didn't know. Like nothing's happening."

"I can't kill them because I'm weak and I really can't! So I choose the other way around."

"I knew that they all talked bad things about me behind my back saying that I'm too good to be true, that I'm just pretending to be innocent!"

"They thought I never knew."

"They abuse my kindness towards them!"

"I thought they're my friends and they'll help me to prevent myself from being insane! Or so I thought, they helped me, yes, they helped me to kill myself!"

"Yes. I killed someone who's very close to me."

"And it's me. I'm that someone.

I killed myself."

———

Akane Daltsuki