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None of the other party-goers wanted to question aloud the wisdom of a teacher openly stealing and drinking alcohol in front of the three children he was supposed to be watching (and guarding from the big bad mister Sirius Black who, at the particular moment, had just arrived at the Shrieking Shack and was scratching himself behind the ear with his foot.)

Luna was just finishing her story about her seventh birthday, which had been very happy since she actually had guests come to it, when Lupin was coming to the end of his drink. As it turned out, Remus Lupin was a bit of a lightweight, not that he would ever admit to such an un-masculine weakness.

Still, none of the minors complained. Gaara in no way considered himself a child in need to a chaperone, so as an adult he took no issue with looking after his friend. Luna didn't mind either, though no one would be able to tell why. She just didn't seem to feel unsafe in the slightest. Draco, who once upon a time would have called for a government investigation of Hogwarts at the first inkling of a professor who partook let alone to excess in front of his charges, but now…

Draco had stopped caring about a lot of things. Besides their individual damages, the three teenagers easily forgave the unacceptable behaviour since the otherwise sombre and (sporadically) professional professor had lightened up considerably with the application of alcohol. It was both a relief to see him loosen up and funny to watch it happen.

Lupin's inebriation led to a few stories of the man's own, about his and his friends' various birthday exploits, including the infamous Sirius Black.

Gaara quite liked seeing the uptight man finally let loose, and as his state progressed, Luna continued to be unfazed by her professor's drunken state and actually found his tales funny. Draco's reaction, on the other hand, varied from disgust (more at the stories' content than any judgement he might level at the drunk teacher) to embarrassed anger when Lupin started telling the story of how Sirius had decided the perfect gift for first-year James' birthday would be all of Lucius Malfoy's underwear.

The previous Malfoy scion had been pompus beyond belief from the start, and had become a pain in the rear for every Gryffindor since he was made head boy by the time the Marauders had started at Hogwarts. While not the devoted son he once was, Draco still had to make a harsh remark about the fact that both of the participants in the story had become either a convicted criminal or, worse yet, Potter's father.

"Actually Draco, I was the one who distracted your father for the evening while Sirius stole all of his undergarments, and a good deal of his homework as well now that I think about it." Lupin cackled. Gaara couldn't wait to tell Sirius about witnessing Lupin's infantile alcohol tolerance.

'I think we should call it an evening since we all have classes tomorrow.' Gaara wrote, standing to help Lupin to the fireplace.

"Yes, I suppose you are right. It's a shame though. Professor Lupin tells some very funny stories." Luna said.

"Thank you, Draco." Lupin said, looking at Luna.

Draco led the way to the fireplace, having been given permission to floo back into Dumbledore's office, even in the night.

'Floo over and check if Dumbledore is there.' Gaara spelled out, supporting Lupin's weight with apparent ease. He really was a lightweight, in both meanings.

"What? Why?" Draco demanded.

'I don't wish to parade a drunk teacher in front of his boss.'

Satisfied, Draco went ahead and confirmed that the coast was clear, Dumbledore clearly having trusted Lupin to escort his charges back to school after the headmaster had gone to sleep. "Come on through, but be quiet."

The three remaining in the Hogshead had to cram into the fireplace together since one was too drunk to command the floo and Gaara didn't feel like getting left behind. All too soon, they were thrown out in Dumbeldore's office and quietly letting themselves out through the door with the hope that the crash the trio had sounded off hadn't awoken the slumbering wizard.

Gaara headed towards Lupin's quarters while Draco escorted Luna to the nearby Ravenclaw tower's entrance.

When they were ascending the small staircase at the back of the DADA classroom, towards Remus' suite, the man piped up after having gone through a series of short naps on the way. "Happy birthday Lily."

Gaara did not know which he resented more, the birthday sentiment forced on him, the hated and all-too familiar nickname, or that his friend and trusted teacher was drunk. Still, Gaara would let the latter slide this time since he knew Lupin had his own troubles. For whatever reason, the kind and outgoing man had been alone most of his life before and after his time in Hogwarts, so being invited to a party must have been strange and upsetting.

Not that Gaara could relate at all.

He dumped Lupin on his bed and made his way to his own bed, stopping by the kitchens on the way to ask a nervous elf, already starting on breakfast, to send a wake up call for Remus before his classes started for the day. With any luck, no one but those present at the party would ever know that Remus had been so irresponsible.

Just as long as the man didn't start up drinking like professor Trelawney.

OXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

The Quidditch game was dry this time around, which was about the only positive word to be said about the late January weather. At least when there was rain they could huddle under shelter and their feet wouldn't need to be shifted every few minutes for fear of freezing to the ground.

Gaara was dangerously close to tearing off a little of the stadium and starting a little fire in the sand igloo he had constructed. The heavy sand structure, sat atop one of the watching towers, was surrounded by two dozen perturbed wizards who didn't appreciate the space Gaara was taking up with his ridiculous 'spell.'

They might have started up again with those annoying complaints if Gaara did actually start a fire in there.

That, and since Padfoot was also cramped into the bubble of sand, they would have needed an extension before they could start adding amenities. They were lucky enough to be seated at the front of the viewing box, so they could have an open viewing window without fear of anyone peering in and spotting the shaggy black dog sat with Hogwarts' resident sociopath.

It had been very entertaining, explaining to Sirius the method he planned to employ to sneak the dog into the stadium, right past the dementors, the aurors, and the professors. He had coated himself in a thicker than usual layer of his sand to free up room inside of his gourd, where had had crammed the large dog and sealed it back up.

Of all the ways anybody could have guessed Sirius Black might sneak in to the school Quidditch match of the year, Gaara doubted any of them could have possibly imagined the man would have been shoved into a cramped gourd filled the rest of the way with sand and carried on the back on a thirteen… make that, fourteen year old waif of a student.

That train of thought brought up an uncomfortable truth that distracted him entirely from the first ten minutes of the match, so caught up in his depressed obsessive musings. He was easily the shortest boy in their year now, his already compact frame having been overtaken by even those boys whose birthday's fell in the summer. The number of girls shorter than him in their age bracket was fast declining as well.

It was a sore point, that Gaara had not grown a millimetre since he had started in September, and Draco, Sirius and Remus had learned not to bring it up, even in good fun. Call him Lily, mock his spellcasting or strange cultural ways, but mention any height related topic at one's own peril.

He was only drawn out of his internal ravings when his idiot companion started barking, a doggy way of cheering Harry along as he dodged bludgers left and right. Gaara slapped him on the nose, as he understood was the way to discipline a (dumb) disobedient hound. Somehow, even knowing it was the incorrigible escapee inside, it didn't feel right slapping a dog around the back of the head.

The game was intense from the start, as far as Gaara understood the game. There was no time for the players to sit around waiting for the Snitch or the Quaffle to go to them, they were chasing the various balls all over the sky from the moment the whistle blew. What would have otherwise been an impressive game was even more intense thanks to the addition of the Seekers both riding their new Firebolts. By the time the Bludgers came near either of them, they were at the other side of the stadium.

And still, each time Draco checked Harry or Slytherin overtook Gryffindor in points, Sirius would turn his snout to Gaara and showcase something Gaara refused to describe as a look of derision.

Draco kept Harry busy for a long while as the other players waged their desperate battle for points, their Firebolts shortenings the skill gap between the two players. Both sides were desperate for victory in this match since the pressure had only mounted since their previous attempt had ended in a draw.

In short, it was a battle for honour, or so Draco had said repeatedly over the past month and a half. Gaara wasn't sure Draco knew what that word meant.

All in all, though, at least it was an energetic game, which it occurred to Gaara might have been to ward off the cold. It was bad enough in his little sand cottage with another warm body to heat the place, he didn't want to think how could the players must be suspended in the freezing wind with nothing but their heating charms to ward of the hypothermia.

Slytherin had reached a spectacular seventy point lead when the whistle blew and everyone looked around wondering why the match had been paused, only to find Madame Hooch hovering by Harry, the Golden Snitch in his outstretched hand. Apparently in all of the frantic zooming, Harry had snatched the Snitch out of the sky, while Draco was floating at the other side of the stadium, having overshot it by a hundred metres in a couple of seconds.

Gaara's hand shot out to clamp over Sirius snout as soon as he spied Harry with the Snitch, pre-empting the howl that then tried to worm its way out of Sirius' forcibly shut mouth. The dog whined and Gaara let go, letting him pant and wag his tail happily, letting out a few excited but quiet 'whuffs.'

Gaara would have liked to have been able to stay and offer some emotional support for Draco after he had lost the important match, but he had to sneak Sirius back out into the wilderness. Well… he wouldn't have liked it, but he felt he should have been there to do it. Nonetheless, his duty to keep Sirius out of Azkaban for now.

Emotional crap later. Much later.

That said, now he had to deal with the unbearably smug dog-turned-man. One squeeze and he would be carrying dog slush rather than the man who drive him insane for the next few weeks, inside of his gourd. It would be so very easy…

He dumped the dog out into the Shack before turning and leaving immediately, not waiting to hear whatever Sirius had been howling in dog form all along. It was a long walk back into the school grounds and he had dementors to slaughter. He actually didn't know what he would do if he managed to kill all of those ugly wraiths. Maybe go after those big spiders?

When Gaara got back to his room, he had to wonder whether being around Sirius would have been as hellish as trying to comfort Draco after he had lost Slytherin the pivotal match against their hated rivals. He refused to leave his room for two days, which was conveniently over the weekend, before Gaara got bored and decided to act.

Draco had been wallowing in self pity and avoiding the inevitable scorn he was to receive from his housemates when Gaara re-entered their room carrying something wrapped in cloth. He didn't pay it much mind, contemplating whether he could persuade his parents to transfer him to Durmstrang. Better that than face his House who already had their doubts about his position. He hadn't heard anyone call him a blood traitor yet, but he imagined there were whispers.

He was about to say some harsh and unwarranted things to his roommate, when Gaara pulled the House Cup out of his extra cloak. Draco blinked slowly, set his head back down on his pillow, and thought…

"What?!" Draco jumped back up from his bed at speeds that might have won him the Quidditch match had he been so motivated at the time. "What are you doing with that?! Where did you even get the House Cup?"

Gaara looked down at the shiny trophy and wondered if he had miss-stepped somewhere along the line. 'The trophy room.'

"Gaara, you can't just steal it!" Draco couldn't believe he was still surprised by his friend's shenanigans.

'You don't want it?'

"Just put it back before someone notices it's missing!"

OXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO

Gaara could never have guessed that his life would devolve into him marking time with the lunar calendar and the humiliating and dangerous transformations that accompanied it. He was fortunate that it drew no untoward attention to keep careful track of the moon's waxing and waning, their Astronomy classes providing the perfect excuse.

He had decided that the continuing freezing weather and brief moments of nudity out in the open Winter air were good enough reasons to run the risk of transforming in the castle again. Also, he had realised how terrifying the thought of Sirius discovering his fluffy form was. How much of a kick would that man-child get out his debilitating… peculiarity. The endless mockery and teasing, the animal nickname he was sure to receive. Then again, he supposed any nickname based on his mini demon tanuki form would be better than 'Lily.'

The final reason he had decided to take the enormous risk was that it looked like is was going to rain that night and he didn't feel like getting soaking wet in either of his bodies. His clothes were uncomfortable enough, having been left in the biting cold all night, it didn't bear thinking about being caught in a downpour.

Of course, should the opportunity arise to run out in the open, if the rain held off, Gaara would enjoy a bit of fresh air around the perimeter of the castle. The only danger there being Hagrid, and he could hear the oaf coming from a mile off with his human ears, so there was no chance whatsoever that the half-giant would be sneaking up on him with his sensitive (and pointy) animal ears.

The transformation was quick and painless after the moon had risen, so Gaara picked up his discarded clothes and hid them under a desk in the abandoned classroom and settled down with his book until the students disappeared for the evening. The Winter evenings were long and frustrating for the nocturnal creatures of the castle, but Gaara was experienced in killing time, among other things, so he had prepared for his wait with a heavy book.

When he was free to roam, he took pleasure in the sounds of clicking his claws made on the polished stone floor as well as the feel of the air against his fur when he managed to get up to full speed in the wide corridors.

He ran all about the school, having a few close calls with the staff patrolling the corridors before they too turned in for the night, and then he moved outside between showers to enjoy the night air properly.

He also took a few moments out of his busy schedule to go and harass the man chickens in the school coops, which did not look delicious. It was somehow hilarious watching the poultry getting flustered, yet another animal predilection he didn't plan to dwell on.

It was as he had finished tormenting the otherwise affectionate birds that he turned back around to return to the castle and noticed that he was floating about a foot off of the ground…

He was being levitated! How undignified…

He turned about in the air frantically, hoping to break free of the magical hold somehow, or at least catch a glimpse of who had caught him. And catch a glimpse he did. Of all the people, he supposed it could have been worse considering all of his enemies in this world, but nonetheless, seeing Luna stood there with her wand controlling his movement was not a great comfort.

The second year was smiling excitedly, even more than she had at his birthday party, as she drew his twisting and fidgeting body towards her.

Luna had been waiting for the like fluffy creature all night because she had worked out that he appeared on the full moon, but last month she hadn't been at the castle to search for the fascinating and adorable animal.

She dropped Gaara into her waiting arms and held on tightly under his armpits as he squirmed to get free. He might have been able to escape, but he didn't know if he could get her to release him without hurting her with his tail or claws, and then he didn't know if he could run away fast enough to avoid any subsequent spells. For the moment, he would have to bide his time.

With that in mind, he relaxed and hung limply in her arms, feeling even more ridiculous than he imagined her looked. He was a proud shinobi, he housed a demon in his body, he had killed hundreds of men women and children, and now he was a furry tanuki being carried by a thirteen year old girl like some stray pup.

And Draco questioned why he had anger issues.

"I've been trying to find you since November, you see. You're very fast when you get running, but you were quite distracted with those chickens, weren't you?" Luna chatted inanely, as he was wont to do at all times. She totally ignored and bouts of struggling or starling that the 'wild animal' in her arms might go through as she walked.

It further irked the seasoned warrior that Luna was able to carry him up flight after flight of stairs without any real strain. He knew it wasn't his own body, but it still smarted that his size was so slight.

"I have two friends with red-hair, like the fur on your head. Well, I have two friends overall I suppose. Except if you counted Draco Malfoy, but I don't think he likes me very much. No, I have Ginny Weasley and Gaara. He doesn't have a surname, I don't think." She had continued upwards the whole time, towards Ravenclaw tower, if Gaara's guesses were correct. He would wait for her to put him down and then make a run for it.

"I went to Draco's Christmas party, mind you, but that was just because Gaara asked. It would have been nice if Ginny could have come, but I don't know if she would have liked Draco's house. Draco's father tried to set a rabid Heliopath on her once, on the order of the Minister for Magic, but she was saved by a King House Elf and Harry Potter."

She had answered the baffling riddle to enter her House and walked on up the stairs to her bedroom. It struck Gaara as somewhat unfair that, despite being quite a bit smaller than the Slytherin rooms, the Ravenclaws were given single rooms to themselves. Maybe it addressed the Houses specific needs, with the 'Claws studying on their own, the Snakes building a few important alliances, the Gryffindors building teams, and the 'Puffs…?

Maybe Rowena Ravenclaw had just had first pick of areas of the castle.

What Gaara had failed to account for in his terribly clever plan of escape was that as soon as he was dumped onto Luna's bed, she had quickly walked back to her bedroom door and locked it. It was only a simple latch, but Gaara's big puffy paw-digits would struggle immensely to unlatch it and get out all before Luna had time to stop him.

Plan B it was then. Wait for her to fall asleep.

At least she didn't seem to have any plans to torture him or, worse, play games with him. If he heard the word 'fetch' he might have reconsidered his nonviolence.

She would eventually fall asleep, being only thirteen and having school the next morning, but until then he would have to suffer through her inane prattling which he could normally run away from after he got tired of it.

"I asked Professor Flitwick for a lock on my door after I kept losing all of my school books. I always got them back but it was very time consuming trying to find them all. I got something for you over the break. I think I put it in here somewhere." Luna had started rummaging through her trunk.

With his captor distracted for the moment, Gaara snuck towards the door and tried for the latch but it soon became obvious he was going to need to stand on something to reach the lock.

"You must be very intelligent to know how to unlock a door. I'm still not sure what you are though. You can't speak, can you?"

'If only.' Gaara thought as he stared at her, caught red handed.

"Ah, there it is!" She pulled out a hair brush with very fine bristles. "Come here," She said, patting the bed, but when the fluffy cannid made no move, she added "please."

With an all too human sigh, he trudged forward to the bed and resigned himself to the further belittling of his dignity. This world had been humbling for the strongest shinobi in Suna, if nothing else.

He settled himself in her lap and wondered if it was entirely appropriate for a fourteen year old boy to be sat in bed with a thirteen year old girl past midnight. Then again, considering who they were and the undeniably exceptional circumstances, he didn't think there was anything inappropriate going on other than her desire to brush his fur.

She talked endlessly as she brushed his fur and he thought about his latest DADA assignment. It was the height of boredom, barring the small level of intrigue seeing the brush work away at his tail. The thing was ninety percent hair and yet the brush only straightened the top layers.

She had hugged him like a stuffed animal after she had finished the brushing and had even scratched him behind the ear, which he DID NOT LIKE! Liar.

Luna eventually told him that she had always wanted a pet, but her father had said she had to discover a new animal if she wanted it. He honestly hadn't expected her to… not until she had finished school at least. She had even taken a strip of blue cloth and tied it into a bow around his neck. At least it wasn't a dog collar, he told himself.

She continued to babble about her dreams of pet ownership, and told him all about how he would have a comfy bed in her room and fresh lamb for dinner. She soon tired herself out and fell asleep.

As Gaara extracted himself from her clutches, he wondered whether he should re-evaluate his friendship with the girl since she was obviously insane. Although, he guessed it wasn't as strange from her perspective since he was an animal and not her friend with an animal's body.

Either way, he would look into buying her a stuffed animal whenever her birthday was, anything to keep her away from him during full moons in future.

He piled a couple of books up to reach the lock before excusing himself from the room. He still had a few hours before dawn, but after the harrowing night of captivity, he would be content to sit the classroom where his clothes were and continue reading his book.

When the sun indeed began to rise, Gaara assess his evening: it had been a trying and annoying night, but at least he had managed to escape without any damage or questions.

It was only when the sun had risen and he was back in his own body that Gaara remembered the blue bow still tied around his neck.

What he had not expected, as he tried to pull the thing off, was that Luna had had the foresight to spell the thing on her new animal friend so that it wasn't pulled off accidentally. Gaara tugged and pulled at the material but for all of his immense strength the thing wouldn't budge. Even his kunai couldn't cut the thin material, which meant that nothing short of magic would relieve him of this latest… even the word humiliation didn't capture the feeling.

He considered using his wand, but somehow pointing his wand at his own neck set off his honed survival instincts. The other option would be showing the bow to someone else like Draco…

So, it was going to being staying for a while.

He tied his Hitai-ate around his neck and got fully dressed. On his way to the Great Hall for breakfast, he destroyed a number of suits of armour and hastily evacuated paintings, and Draco noted that Gaara seemed to be in a particularly foul mood that morning, though he couldn't guess why. Then again, it was anybody's guess what Gaara did on the many nights he went missing but usually it seemed to alleviate stress.

Gaara noticed that Luna seemed to have been crying when she showed up in the Great Hall. Ginny went and comforted to the grief stricken girl which meant Gaara had no compulsion to be anywhere near his kidnapper.

That evening, as Gaara was getting ready for bed and coughing his larynx up, and Draco was finishing up his Potions homework, he thought, just for a moment, that he heard an almost inaudible "Ow" come from the other side of the room. He turned but it was only Gaara there, looking wide eyed as he sometimes tended to and miming words.

He must have been hearing things.

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Omake:

Draco was as cold as Gaara had imagined, floating out in the middle of the Winter wind, desperately looking for the Snitch. He did indeed take solace in the proactive Seeking he and Potter had been doing. Sitting still in this weather would have left his frozen to his broom by the end of the match. Though, as it was, moving at such high speed was making the wind-chill even worse.

As always, there was solace to be taken in Potter's equal suffering.

Draco always looked for two people in the stands during matches, giving brief glances lest he missed the golden ball he was hunting for. He usually found his father first, since he sat with the Professors and Governors. The man would sometimes let a thin smile work its way onto his face, but not because he enjoyed the game. It was one of the rare instances that the Malfoy patriarch allowed himself to display any sort of pride in his son in public.

And then there was Gaara… who had apparently constructed a full blown house made out of his sand up in the stands. It looked so warm he resented his best friend immensely. He had to admit, he had spent more than the intended moment glancing at his friend, amazed that his weirdo roommate could still shock and surprise him, each and every time.

Jinchūriki had a flare for unpredictability, whether they were rappers, psychopaths, or blond knuckleheads.

But even with that in mind, Potter would have agreed that the occasional sounds of barking or stifled howling coming from Gaara's shelter was beyond the pale.

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A/N: Please review etc.

First of all, the full moon that happened in this chapter was supposed to happen last time but I accidentally wrote Luna onto the train leaving Hogwarts and couldn't be bothered to change it. It made absolutely not difference in the narrative, but it was a funny bit of improvisation.

Second, it occurred to me that it would have been very funny to have had Harry check the Marauders Map that night and see Gaara in Luna's room and her bed for most of the night before sneaking out before dawn, and then looking decidedly shifty around Luna in the following days…

I couldn't even bring myself to make that into an omake.

Anyway, I was reading a great fiction, a fanfiction of a fanfiction called Swapping the Cage, and in an author note, it mentioned the propensity for Naruto fics to rehash certain events in the original Naruto canon. It was phrased primarily as a criticism in keeping the same events despite altering so many other things in the original world. The particular instance they focussed upon was the meeting between Naruto and Haku in the woods during the Wave arc.

They focussed on this because it was a chance meeting in the original timeline but it becomes forced in many others. I myself have plotted out a dozen Naruto fics and at least half have the Wave arc in some form, and a good chunk of those have this unlikely meeting between Naruto and Haku for one reason or another.

One could argue that this is because Wave isn't a big place, Naruto is usually an outsider (thus prone to sleeping away from his team), and Haku needs to gather herbs to heal Zabuza who needed to be introduced in a fight. But even in fics where this initial fight never happened, a one on one meeting between Naruto and Haku often takes place for the same reason I think it always happens, because it was one of the most profound moments of characters development in the beginning of the original series, and fans recognise and wish to follow or emulate it.

I don't know why I felt the need to share this here, but one doesn't often get the chance to discuss (even one-sidedly) fanfiction trends etcetera, and I have something of a captive audience by this point.

Anyway, hope you are all well, thanks for your time and interest. The next chapter will come eventually, I imagine.

Also, don't forget to look in on my new fanfic and leave copious amounts of reviews.