Chapter 14: Probation: Moving On & Barracks Gossip

In which there is a re-evaluation and some nosy shinobi.

I'm glad that people are liking my pseudo-chakra-science.

Probation Month No.11

Moving On

I swear to all the kami that Itachi is part cat. It's the only explanation as to why I keep waking up in the morning with him sleeping next to me or on the sofa. But for the moment...

"'Tachi~!" I gasp, waving one hand in the air and frantically slapping him on the arm. "Lemme go! Air!"

"Nyarf," he mumbles into my shoulder and hugs me tighter. Kami, I'm the one with the bone Kekkei Genkai, yet he feels like he has more elbows than is anatomically possible. Bloody Uchiha stealing my bed...I reach back and pull his hair, hard.

He screeches like a cat as well.

He scrambles for my throat. "Bastard!"

"I am; what's your point, birdbrain?!" I jam the heel of my hand into his solar plexus and he coughs, winded, but gets a grip on my shoulders.

"Can't you wake me up like a normal person?!" His foot grinding mine into the bed is painful. Massive bruises, here I come.

"I bloody tried! And abnormal and proud!" I lock my ankles around his and flip us over, smothering his face into the pillow.

He grabs my wrist with one hand, the other a fistful of my hair and yanking. We fall off the bed as we roll back and forth.

A few seconds later, Bear shunshins in front of us. "Alright, break it u-...are you chewing his leg?"

"Maybe," I mumble around Itachi's shin. I didn't break the skin, I swear; I'm not that unhygienic.

There's the flash of a camera from Hound and Bear jabs a finger at me. "Spit him out. Now. And Itachi, let go of his horns. Now, what's all this about?"

"He started it!" I accuse. Huh, my voice has an echo...I glance over at Itachi, who's pointing back at me.

"What has gotten into you two over the past week?" Bear grouses, the doorframe sprouting hands(actual wooden hands, four fingers and a thumb, count them, like the Shodai's golem, he didn't even need to make hand-signs, I am so proud of myself right now) and dragging us both into the living room with firm grips on our arms.

"Admittedly, you're never serious when you fight like this, but I really need to know what the hell happened between you two and when it started."

Damn ANBU, trying to know every single detail of my emotions..."I have the right to remain silent," I mutter. "Eep!" I promptly squeak as the wooden arm hoists me an inch off of the floor.

"No you don't, I am responsible for your well-being, which means you answer my questions so I know how to protect you," Bear growls, giving me a miniscule shake and setting me down again. "And you, Itachi, I am your senior comrade, so you owe me answers as your senpai."

Well, if he has to know; "I'm sick and tired when I wake up to Itachi either throttling me, crushing me, or sprawled on the floor."

"His condescension is so thick I can practically smell it," Itachi growls. "I can tell when you don't tell me things because you think I can't handle it."

"Hey, I've never-"

"I know...I know that I'm not strong enough to bear some things on my own! But neither are you. I don't care if you don't tell me everything, but don't try and coddle me and make it harder for yourself in the process, Ani-chan."

"Heh." Unbidden, a smile twitches the corner of my mouth. The ache of my bruised foot is still prevalent. "Y'know, that doesn't explain why you keep smothering me in your sleep. It's not like I'm planning on leaving anytime soon."

"Until you stop acting like it, I will continue to invade your bed and I will crater the floor with your thick head every time you wake up if I have to."

"Strangle me again and I will boil your teeth you sycophantic twerp."

"Like you could actually do that, you clay-brained noodle."

"OI! Easy on the threats you two," Bear interjects. "Honestly, bickering like children; you are better than this."

"Ehh…'" I exchange a bemused glance with Itachi. "Technically we are children; we should be acting like this."

"Maybe if we include swearing, we'll upgrade to bickering like adults," he muses thoughtfully, a smile on his face. "I've been waiting to try some of the words I've picked up." Ooh! Me too!

"What the hell happened to the two orderly, sensible little kohai I knew?" Bear mourns. "Look, no more fighting, both of you, even if it's friendly."

"Fine, kaa-san," Itachi rolls his eyes. Bear chokes on thin air.

"Does that make Hound tou-san then?" I ask innocently. From the hallway, there's a sound like a surprised hiccup, followed by the thump of a body hitting the floor. "Y'know, how many people do you think we can convince that I'm legitimately related to Kakashi Hatake?"

"I'm in."

"Oh, so your friendship isn't ending," Juugo says from where he sits at the table, sipping coffee. Huh. How long has he been there? And also..."Eh?"

"Oh, nothing," Juugo sighs exaggeratedly. "I just thought that maybe this would be the one time you finally have enough of each other and split up. Or maybe you'd just avoid each other until you eventually forget what made you friends in the first place."

Well...this is...new. There's some real bitterness in there, as well as some major hinting at parallels, but I don't quite...'

"Look, Juugo. I can tell you're upset, but I don't understa-'"

His wide-eyed, searching stare cracks suddenly. "No, you really don't, do you?" He says softly. "After all, it's not what you did do, it's what you didn't do." He takes a deep breath. "Kimimaro. I'm moving out. I can't live with you, with...this," he waves his hand, gesturing vaguely to everything around him, "any longer."

When in doubt, a little humour. "This is starting to sound like a break-up from a cliche romance novel-" "Why can't you just LISTEN TO ME!"

Oh shit. I don't think I've ever realised before just how big Juugo actually is. He towers over me and he looks like he could tear me in half without even transforming. I step back, but then horror creeps into his eyes.

"Shit, no, Kimimaro, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to scare you, I just want..." he rakes his fingers through his hair. "Just...let me explain."

"When we first met, you were like an answer to all my prayers. At first, I didn't really mind that you had your own flaws, but then Itachi came along and you started to open up...and I realised just how..." the word broken hangs in the air "...different you were underneath all those layers. And how much you needed someone to lean on, not someone to depend on you."

He shoots me a pointed glance. "It was like you'd forgotten I existed. Sure, you cooked, did the laundry, budgeted for two. But you stopped asking me about me." He draws a shaky breath and sits back down. "Mao Inuzuka's my friend and when he got seriously hurt on a mission I thought you'd at least notice that I was worried about something. But you didn't. And you didn't even ask me about anything that was going on in my life. I was angry, but then I wasn't, because when we first met all you did was promise to fix me in return for me watching your back. I don't...I'm not obligated to be friends with you or you to me."

Oh.

"And I'm not blaming you for being you, Kimimaro," Juugo continues. "It's like you're magnetic; everyone focuses on you. We have two ANBU watchers because there's two of us, but they've started leaving clones to watch me because they want to be around you. No offense guys," he remarks to the two now slightly-sheepish ANBU in the corner.

"I just need to get out; out of your shadow, Kimimaro."

"I've really screwed up," I admit after a long moment of silence. "Sorry, I...no, I am sorry, and...yeah, okay. If you want to move out, I'm not going to stop you. Are you sure you'll be good on your own, or do you need me to give you lessons in any housework or anything?"

He shakes his head. "No, not really lessons as such; I'm pretty good at picking things up from watching you."

"If I might interrupt?" Hound breaks in. "You have to stay in the same place of residence for the whole duration of your probation. Sorry. But after that, you're free to live where you like."

I nod. "Okay. I don't want to sound like I'm trying to get rid of you Juugo, kami knows I've given you that impression enough, but I'll teach you a few things more directly. The last month and a half of Probation to get you up to speed on things." Chinsei whines almost apologetically as he pads over and rests his head on my leg. I run my hand through the tightly curled white fur; when did he get so big?

Itachi suddenly grabs me by the wrist. "Well, that's all said and done; GOING NOW I'LL BRING HIM BACK SOON BYE!"

We disappear in a Shunshin.

"You can thank me later," Itachi faux-sniffs-imperiously when we reappear knee-deep in a grassy field. "I know how you don't like awkward discussions about feelings and I took the trouble to bring you somewhere with no trees."

I swat him on the shoulder. "I get through quite a few of those discussions because they're necessary. And because Inoichi says they're good for me; which I do agree with. And if you've transported us all the way to Kusa no Kuni, I will be simultaneously impressed, flattered and annoyed."

"Of course we're still in Konoha, bone-head. These are the old ruins on the Northern Outskirts. I come here when I need privacy."

I look around. It is kind of beautiful in an eerie sort of way. Tumbled chunks of stone wall, likely scattered by an explosion or maybe blunt force from a Summon, rise abruptly from a large plain of grass. Lichen spatters them with orange and white and wisteria and honeysuckle dig into and around them. The grass is a dry yellow-green and shimmers silver when the wind dances across it.

"If you brought me here to ask me more mushy questions, I will break your face," I cough politely. Itachi sticks his tongue out.

"Bleh. No." Then he turns serious. "You keep a lot of secrets Ani-chan. I hope that one day you trust me enough to tell me. Preferably soon, because I wanna know~." He whines. "Also, I think I've already got most of it figured out."

Do I trust him?

"I swear I'll tell you when my Probation's over," I say solemnly. "Right after. Think you can hold out 'til then?"

He looks at me, Sharingan red and whirling as he burns the promise into his memory. "I do. You swear?" He holds out his hand. I clasp it.

"I swear."

Barracks Gossip

"So, who's the new guy with Hatake-san?" One of the Chunin from Stores was brave enough to finally pipe up. "I can't say I recognise him and Hatake-san isn't the type to get that friendly with a stranger."

"They heard you, dumbass," his friend next to him said resignedly as two heads turned in their direction. Then Kakashi stood up. "Oh shit."

"That reminds me," Kakashi announced aloud, flaring his chakra to catch everyone's attention, the low-level chatter fading away and conversations pausing.

"This is my good friend and cute little kohai Tenzo." The stranger, Tenzo, promptly thumped his head against the bar table-top, cheeks flushed pink in embarrassment. "The reason hardly any of you know his face and name is because he's been a Career ANBU since he was a kid. Well, that's changed. He's still ANBU but he's no longer a Career. So I brought him along tonight to introduce him to all of you nutters!"

"Good thing too!" An Inuzuka yelled from the back of the room. "Like hanging around you is a good stand-in for a social life!" A ripple of 'ooh's ran through the room.

Kakashi chuckled awkwardly, rubbing the back of his neck with his one visible eye creased closed. "Aha, very true. But at least Tenzo doesn't end up eating mud at one little tap-"

"One time! And what do you mean, little tap?! You kancho'd me, you asshole!"

But instead of replying, Kakashi quickly turned to Tenzo. "Duck." They flattened themselves to the floor just in time.

"DYNAMIC ENTRY!"

An orange and green blur sailed over where their heads had previously been. Fortunately, the (ex-ANBU)bartender had the skill and presence of mind to flip the hurtling shinobi mid-air and slam him down onto the wooden table-top before he could crash into the racks and shelves of bottles.

"The sake is saved!" Someone cheered.

"To stop me in mid-kick with such alacrity? I'd expect no less from my Ultimate Rival!" Gai boomed from where he was still draped over the counter.

"Hm? Why are you lying down Gai?" Kakashi asks in an airy, disinterested tone.

Gai springs to his feet, an inordinate amount of tears pouring down his cheeks(Tenzo discreetly checks for genjutsu and finds none. Odd), "Ah, Kakashi! Why must you be so cold and cool?!" He mutters aloud with gritted teeth. Then coloured lights blaze behind him, sparkles flying everywhere. "I, the Green Beast of Konoha, Issue you, my ULTIMATE RIVAL, a Challenge of the Greatest Magnitude! Whoever Performs The Most One-handed Push-ups Balancing a Saucer of Sake Without Spilling a Drop! Loser runs TWENTY LAPS of the Village BAREFOOT!"

Engrossed in trying to work out where all the visual effects are coming from, Tenzo is too distracted to register exactly who is sliding into the seat next to him until it's too late.

"Sooo~" Anko smirks, leaning forward against the counter so her crossed arms push up her breasts just so. "Tenzo, wasn't it?" The man in question quickly forces his eye back up to her face. "No last name at all?"

He frowns. She must have heard he was a Career; one of the orphans and nobodies with no family, life and sometimes no identity outside of ANBU. Why would she specifically ask him for a family name? His confusion must have shown on her face, because she grins slyly and leans forward to whisper in his ear five words that make his blood run cold.

"Not Senju, Tenzo no Mokuton?"

She's hoicked back from her close quarters by a cold-looking Kakashi. "Don't pry into things that don't concern you, Anko." His voice is careful, measured. A silent glance from her; understood, and her body language changes as she grins up at him.

"Aww, Kakashi, I was just introducing myself to your cute little toy! I thought Gai had challenged you?" He nods to where Gai is running out the door without his shoes, screaming about the Flames of Youth.

"I convinced him to shorten it to arm-wrestling while balancing sake saucers on our heads. Much quicker."

"Ah." She pours herself a saucer and takes a sip before setting it down. "Yeah, I figured out who your little buddy here was. The bratling still fainting at the sight of snakes?" Tenzo glares at her this time.

"You know you took it too far that time. But since then, he's corrupted Itachi Uchiha, crashed the Academy via crossdressing, turned Shisui Uchiha into a functioning alcoholic, scarred me for life and made Kakashi fall off the ceiling in shock. One more month to go."

"Thank the kami," Kakashi mutters in reply, choosing a shot glass and downing it.

"You're missing him already, I can tell," Tenzo groans half-heartedly.

"I'll certainly miss the blackmail opportunities."

Anko is still studying Tenzo's face. "I still say you might be...I've only ever seen him in photos, but you do remind me of Tsunade's kid brother, or maybe the Nidaime, come to think of it. Mind you, that custom forehead plate doesn't help dissuade from the last one-"

Tenzo looks uncomfortable. Kakashi deliberately sets the glass down on the table. "I will stuff this sake jar where the sun doesn't shine."

Instead, she grins. "Kinky. But I'll need more incentive."

Tenzo leans in close, mirroring her earlier actions. "Kimimaro's good with seals. Really good. All sorts of seals. He's studied Orochimaru's work as well. You'll need to get permission from the higher-ups and ask him nicely, but...'" He pulls down the high neck of his standard-issue shirt and stretches it down so she gets a glimpse of his shoulder. The vibrant blue tree-like sigil makes her breath catch.

"...there's a chance you could be free again."

Next Time:

Incongruous Meetings

"Hang on, let me get that for you, kid."

Breadcrumbs and Butterfly Wings

"It's not coded," Inoichi grits his teeth, running his fingers through his hair. "At least, not in the way most people would think."

Final Report

"...But yeah, I think that covers everything. All in all, I think it's been a very productive year."

My Muse is now on time-out because she kept throwing Worldbuilding at me instead of Story. At the minute, Kankuro from Stairs of Sand is watching her for me so I can finish this chapter.

As always, read, enjoy and leave a review about what you think will happen next!