Chapter 7: Probation: Tea & Relapse and Biscuits

Well, this chapter got massive; a certain two ANBU wanted screentime. This is the first (sort-of)fight scene I've ever written. Also, Youko Artemis had the closest guess for Tea Like Civilized People.

*Sheepishly holds up hand* Uh...honest question here. If your story is an SI, when the SI gets hurt/tortured, is that considered self-harm or sado-masochism or something? Because since I can't write self-angst, I end up writing self-pain. And looking at some of the SI stories I've seen, man are we a twisted bunch.

Relapse and Biscuits contains mild gore and torture. And some not not-quite-angst *waves stick threateningly at the angst axolotl*. It kind of had to happen though, since I think an SI needs this particular bit of self-realization. Particularly mine, since I haven't really gone too in-depth up until now. Hopefully balanced out by ANBU and fatherly fluff.

EDIT 18/07/18: Mood of Relapse and Biscuits changed; Kimimaro isn't 'suicidal' now, just panicking because Kabuto's lost his mind.

Probation Month No.4

Tea Like Civilised People

So, I should probably start with the good news that Juugo got a job. Turns out Mao mentioned the whole talking to animals thing to Tsume(his aunt once removed, apparently), she got curious and told him to drag us both round to the Inuzuka compound for an interview. One thing led to another, but at the end of it, she gave her approval as a Clan Head for Juugo's new job as an assistant at a veterinary clinic.

Well, he's working at the minute, but he comes home at lunch to get another dose of my chakra. I don't have anywhere to be, so I stay at home. Budgeting isn't too bad; I'm getting faster at doing the calculations. And I'm working on a few new seals, but since seals have the vast potential to go very wrong, I have to save those up until I can go to a training ground to activate them and see if they work or not. And if I slip in some purposefully-wrong ones, well,...explosions are very cathartic. Anko and I even made a picnic out of it. I say picnic. It was more like I packed an drink and a snack and got started, Anko showed up with her own dango and we kind of started scoring each failed seal.

I digress.

I mostly just sit there, drawing or writing down bits in my notebooks. It's nice, not having to do anything, even if sometimes I feel a bit like a lazy slob. I'm not exactly the life of any party, so I don't get visitors. So, you can imagine my surprise when the doorbell rings.

I open the door and standing outside are probably the last two people I'd expect to show up unannounced; even Pain himself was more likely!

The traditional dark-haired, dark-eyed woman was unusual enough, but add the semi-formal kimono with embroidered Uchiha fans on the sleeves and collar. Yeah, bit weirder. Now add a boy about a year or so older than me next to her, wearing similar style clothes, deep stress lines under his eyes and a loose ponytail.

The first of the two I can place a name to is Itachi Uchiha.

And the only older woman I can place that he would be accompanying would be his mother, Mikoto Uchiha.

Cue wild mental flailing; Bla? Guh. Argl! Ugg. Wha?!

After about three seconds, some part of my brain pulls itself together long enough to say "Good morning. Would you like to come in and sit down?"

Bloody hell, bloody hell, bloody hell! Ppfffft. Okay, breathe. Just be polite and wait for them to make the first move. Then I might stand a chance of knowing what I'm doing.

Itachi couldn't figure out why his mother was doing this. There was the excuse that it could be beneficial for the Clan to have such an ally, but the Kaguya Clan had been reduced to a single immigrant; hardly influential. He could detect the two ANBU in the immediate area, and his mother wasn't Stupid enough to try anything with the Hokage's Elite watching.

Itachi knew that he wasn't normal; he was a prodigy and the Clan never let him forget that little detail. But eleven-year-olds did not have an ANBU career waiting within the next year, did not feel uncomfortable around their father and elders, did not feel ever so high-up and alone. So the prospect of meeting another like him sent a sharp tugging on his chest.

Kimimaro Kaguya was exactly as he had heard him described; white hair, green eyes and red markings. And Itachi saw the other things as well; the lean hard muscle and the tiny creases of old scars. Also, the slight widening of the pupils as they settled on him, then quickly slid over to his mother. He clamped down hard on the urge to activate his Sharingan; why did he look so panicked at the sight of him? And then the fear and apprehension was gone unnervingly fast, replaced with the blankly friendly expression of a Gracious Host.

Kaa-san accepted the invitation of tea and introduced them with all the impeccable grace that was to be expected of the Uchiha Matriarch, of course. He himself followed through the door just behind, meaning that he had the discreet opportunity to glance at Kimimaro Kaguya. Something felt off, but a different kind of off than approaching-a-nervous-breakdown. This was...he didn't know. Like there was a rabid fear restrained from showing only by chains of more fear, tempered by more experience than should have been possible.

Itachi was unused to sitting on a sofa. He was too accustomed to perfect seiza in front of his father and the elders or a loose cross-leg around a kotatsu or low table at home. Sofas didn't even have the hard stability of a chair. This one was far too squashy as well, obviously having seen better days, but still clean.

Low-priced but comfortable efficiency seemed to be the theme of the apartment. Everything was neatly placed in the kitchenette, but the table was cluttered with stacks of paper and notebooks; but most likely was actually very organised. Evidently Kaguya had been working on something; a heavily scribbled notebook with scraps of paper sticking out from between the pages was still open.

Tea arrived on a tray and was set down on the coffee table. Kaguya sat surprisingly at ease, curling up in the corner of the opposite sofa, legs tucked under him like a cat. His muscles were relaxed and his demeanour was cheerful. But the green eyes were too attentive; fixed on him in particular. For a few seconds they even made eye contact, which shocked Itachi. You only knowingly made eye-contact with an Uchiha if you trusted them implicitly or you were completely naïve. Something was strange about Kimimaro Kaguya. A part of him desperately longed to know what, while another was afraid of what the answer might be.

Itachi looks so weird. And a lot less pretty-boy than I remember. That's because intense training has leached off all the puppy fat he should have had, meaning that his face looks all out of proportion. To be honest, I pretty much look the same. Once puberty hits(uuuuuugggghhhhhh) we'll look less like skinny dwarfs and more like lean killing machines. But still; Itachi friggin Uchiha is sitting in front of me!

Uh oh, I think I'm staring too much. He might be blank-faced, but you learn to hold entire conversations with people who've been injured to the point of only being able to twitch their facial muscles and this is easy in comparison. And it helps knowing how to pretend. Sure, I've got a poker face, but I can pull off other emotions pretty convincingly. The secret is all in the eyes and posture. How do you think I fooled Orochimaru? Even if I did feel in need of a shower after a few times. Having to pull off the Adoring Disciple routine while he's rooting through the internal organs of someone you know is pretty disturbing. I deserve a bloody...little-golden-man-award. Osuka? Something like that.

Anyway, Mikoto Uchiha smiles at me and asks me; "How are you settling in so far?"

Non-personal. Basic niceties. I can answer that. "Good. No hostility, though there has been some mild hazing. A routine has been established. Low-stress environment. Nice food. Freedom of movement. Sharing my space is unusual, but tolerable."

I'm still tense. I know barely anything about Mikoto, but I do know that she was a kunoichi who dabbled in poison and was friends(or at least good acquaintances) with Kushina Uzumaki. She is not someone I want to let my guard down around. Let's not forget that Itachi murdered his own parents without hesitation; imagine what he'd do to someone he barely knew. He might have a lot more time dedicated to him in the manga and anime, but he thought mind-raping Sasuke with Tsukuyomi to drive him crazy with revenge before leaving him with massive guilt over being an unwitting instrument of suicide was a fantastic idea. Also, I think he's clicked that I know more than I let on. Plus I don't know what sort of person he is right know. No way in hell am I relaxing. And when I have my guard up, me answering a question sounds like a mission report.

I'll give Mikoto credit, she doesn't bat an eye at my wooden reply. She just does something to her smile that makes me feel so warm and relax...oh no you don't! She is not playing up the maternal thing to get to me! I refuse!

Itachi could clearly see the moment Kimimaro Kaguya shed the mask and coiled in on himself, a snarled knot of fear and anger. But what had happened? Kaa-san had been perfectly civil, friendly even. Regardless, this situation was dissolving fast.

"Don't you run out of bone?" Maybe he should have worded it better, but the deteriorating circumstances halted as he had thought. Both heads snapped round to face him, their gaze forcing him to elaborate his question.

"If you're constantly removing and re-growing your bones, surely there must be a limit?"

A soft exhale from Kaguya as the green eyes brightened almost imperceptibly. "My metabolism automatically has my bone marrow replace it, using the calcium elsewhere in my body as a resource. In which case I could keel over from blood loss and muscle wastage if I don't watch it. But I suppose the Sharingan has it's own side effects."

Itachi could feel the unspoken question hanging in the air. 'Prove to me you're just as messed up?'

Challenge accepted.

"There is rumour that the Sharingan is linked to overly-obsessive or unstable behaviour," Itachi countered.

None present expected the cracked laughter erupting from Kimimaro Kaguya. "Kekekekahahahaha...! Well OF COURSE it is! Don't you people THINK?!"

Stunned silence broken only by gasps of mirthless hilarity reigned for a few seconds, before Mikoto Uchiha cleared her throat meaningfully. "Would you like to maybe explain your conviction?" She prompted frostily.

Itachi could admit his curiosity as well; it certainly would explain a few things if it were true.

"Okay. The Sharingan gives the user an eidetic memory. Everything seen through the Sharingan can be perfectly recalled at any time. Pretty basic knowledge, I know. But the Sharingan is useful; so useful that one would typically only use it in times of great danger, distress or combat. Therefore, all of the eidetic memories are going to be of fear, pain, gore and so on; no happy memories. Because those memories are eidetic, they're not going to be forgotten or even dulled by the passage of time. Every dead body, blood-splatter and moment of panic in high definition perfect recall. Every time the Sharingan is activated, those memories jump to the front of the mind. Every waking nightmare just gets more real. The more horror a Sharingan sees, the more mature it becomes and the worse it gets. Any mind would crumble under the strain sooner or later."

Itachi knew that had he been any less controlled, he might have lost his composure and gaped slightly. It made so much sense and all just logically continued from one aspect of the Sharingan. How had anyone missed this? Even kaa-san seemed a little shocked by this revelation. "That does make a whole lot of sense actually," she murmured. "Thank you, I...how did you find out about this?"

Kimimaro blinked, as if seeing her for the first time. "Orochimaru has been after the Sharingan for ages. I extrapolated my reasoning from the few facts I absorbed by association. Made me glad I'm on the other side of the family tree; I have enough nightmares thanks."

What.

Mikoto ran through the last sentence again. No, she hadn't imagined it. The words 'family tree' had definitely been in there. And the context implied...'

"We're related?!" Itachi burst out. It seemed her son had come to the same conclusion too. Even the two ANBU she could sense had become still and apprehensive; they were curious enough that they had let their concentration drop to the point that she could sense them.

Kimimaro Kaguya was looking genuinely puzzled. "Wait...you really don't know? But...you're a major clan, surely you have records; hell, even legends...? No?" Then his face cleared. "Are there still some people who say that the Sharingan descended from the Byakugan?"

"Yes," she replied shortly. His face brightened and he uncoiled from his position, relaxing a little. "Basically, that's the really really really really vague version. Hang on a minute, I have the scroll somewhere safe..." He hopped off the sofa to sort through the scrolls littering the table. They could hear him muttering; "No...no...no...what's that doing in that pile?...no...need to redo that matrix later...no...no...ah! Here!"

He vaulted back onto the sofa, a thick scroll tied with a piece of string in one hand. Undoing the knot, he bit his thumb to draw blood, swiping the red along the brown-stained edge of the parchment. Unrolling it revealed a haphazard collection of storage seals of varying sizes paired with notes in a curling script that neither Uchiha or ANBU recognised.

"The Kaguya Clan library," Kimimaro grinned. "Snatched it all when I left. I might have hated them, but I'm not an idiot; I wasn't going to pass up all this information."

There was a poof of chakra smoke as he pressed his bloody thumb down on a larger seal and another scroll appeared. This one was fraying, on a carved wooden roller and wrapped several times in a length of grubby, once-white ribbon which had a red bead on each end.

"If you take out all the flowery language, it goes as follows," he smirked, passing the document absentmindedly from one hand to the other. "The mother of the Sage of Six Paths had three eyes, the third in the middle of her forehead. That one was pretty much a combo of the Sharingan and the Rinnegan, while the other two were the Byakugan. She gave birth to twins. One was the Sage and the other was his lesser-known brother."

Kimimaro tossed the roll of parchment gently to Itachi, who caught it as carefully as possible; this was the prided history of another clan after all.

"The Sage had the Rinnegan and his brother had the Byakugan," he continued. "The Sage bore two children, Asura and Indra. Indra had the Sharingan and you can guess which clan he was the father of. Asura became the forefather of the Senju clan and very possibly the Uzumaki, however that's never outright stated. The two brothers also had a truly epic sibling rivalry, but that's another story.

The Sage's brother founded the Hyuuga Clan and the Kaguya Clan, which had inherited their Grandmother's bone Kekkei Genkai.

That was before he helped his brother to seal his now-psychotic god-level mother into the moon and deciding to guard it for the rest of his life. Yes, you are allowed to open that scroll, it's not trapped or sealed in any way."

Itachi held his breath as he unknotted the ribbon and unrolled it. It resembled several of the pre-founding historical accounts from the Uchiha Clan Library in style and was roughly the same age. As Kimimaro had said, there was a lot of outdated terms and phrasing in the faded script, but the detailed illustrations drove home the story. Mikoto leaned over to look.

"This Kaguya...-hime had horns?"

"Yes, Uchiha-sama. It's likely that because they could be easily confused with ears from a distance, combined with her being sealed in the moon, was the inspiration for legends of the Rabbit in the Moon. It also probably explains why the Byakugan is still sometimes referred to as the moon eye.

I must admit that some part of me found it hilarious that all of the major clans are descended from a psycho literal rabbit moon-kami. Also, that makes me your incredibly distant cousin." He waved; "Nice to meet you Uchiha-sama, Uchiha-senpai!"

Mikoto smiled genially. "I would be honoured if you did decide to call the Uchiha family."

The answering smile was frosty and full of teeth. "Yes...I decide. I have no blood family, Uchiha-sama; I choose the family of my heart. And I do not share my heart that easily."

With that, the visit was over.

As Itachi passed through the door behind his mother, he slowed at the polite "Uchiha." He turned, and his eyes met green ones.

"Use that Sharingan to remember something happy. It might...well, might be nicer. Also, I usually use training ground 21 in the mornings; we should spar sometime."

Itachi could see fragile, fearful hope in those eyes. He nodded.

"Nii-san! You're back!"

"I wasn't gone that long, Sasuke."

"Can you play with me now? You said you would!"

"Of course Sasuke. How about I show you some wire techniques I just learned?"

"Itachi-nii? Why do you have your Sharingan on? Is something...Ah! Stop poking me!"

"Foolish little brother. You'll understand one day. Come on, we can play hide and seek as well."

"Yeah! I'll catch you this time, Itachi-nii!"

"Fugaku?"

"Yes dear?"

"I think you should reconsider or at least postpone Itachi's placement into ANBU."

"Why's that?"

Relapse and Biscuits

I looked down at the forest floor out of my one eye, the other sealed shut by dried blood from the gash on my forehead. Then someone grabbed me by the jaw and wrenched my head back until it collided with the trunk of the tree and my vision blackened at the edges.

So...so tired...what was that ringing noise? I slumped against the ropes. They bit into my wrists, but it was okay because it didn't hurt because they gone numb a few minutes ago so it didn't hurt too much and I'm really hungry, I wonder how long it's been since breakfast and I'd like to go now because I'm topless so it's cold and the tree bark is digging into my back and I really hate concussion and I want Juugo and ANBU and tea and to finish that scroll on circular patterns in sealing...

...hmmm...iryo-jutsu feels nice and everything's getting less fuzzy. Let's try identifying my kidnapper now. Glasses, grey hair...and everything in my life was going so well too. Note to self; find a shrine to Karma(they actually exist here, no joke) and make an offering.

"Kimimaro-senpai, it's been a while," Kabuto grins.

Let's back up to this morning.

My routine for the day usually goes; get up at 6am, wake up slowly with breakfast and tea, morning run/warm-up at 7am, spar/train until 9am, relax and shower, have lunch at 12, then find something else to do in the afternoon. Today, I only got as far as morning run.

I run the same route, which goes through one of the old abandoned downtown areas. I learnt that routine is bad. I recognised the cut-grass smell of an Orochimaru's-base-only gas a second or so before I hit the dirt with a tranq dart in my shoulder. Looking back, the gas was probably a delaying tactic to disorientate Bear and Hound.

I briefly resurfaced into a grey fog of movement; slung over someone's shoulder while tree jumping. That's usually not the best method to hold me if you're my enemy, since it makes it easy for me to spear you with a bone in something vital or otherwise crippling.

No go; there's the weird clammy and muffled sensation of chakra suppressants. Plan B? Struggle. It doesn't work most times, so of course it didn't work since I was only half-conscious. My ride does stumble though. My smug satisfaction is incredibly short-lived as I'm backhanded across the face, the metal knuckle-guard plate of a combat glove scraping a stinging pain across my forehead. Quickly followed by the unsettling trickling feeling of blood running down my face. Then, the ringing in my head caused by the blow reduces everything to black once more.

Cue my waking up to getting my head bashed against a tree by Kabuto. Kabuto, my old kohai. Because that's an itty-bitty change to canon I did by accident; canon-me addressed Kabuto as sensei because of his medical expertise and slight age advantage. This time around, I didn't have those dependency issues, but did have the mental maturity of an adult. So when Kabuto showed up, it dissolved into a passive catfight over who was superior to whom. I won, despite my illness and thanks to my sealing and it kind of plateaued into a comfortable cold war, but with me having a Kekkei Genkai and a rare art over his head. Wary respect. Hence 'Kimimaro-senpai'.

Aaand, I just realised that I technically betrayed Kabuto and given that by now he's torn between Root, Orochimaru and his dead mother-figure - also possibly Sasori brainwashing - I've probably just driven him further into all sorts of issues.

I am so dead. Dead, dead, dead. Dead at the age of nearly-ten. I have no idea where the ANBU are, but they must be coming after me I'm too important, I have too much information, as does Kabuto. Chakra is suppressed, so can't pulse, but Tenzo's a sensor and these seals don't make you undetectable. Have to stall for time.

"Kabuto-cha~n, you don't look so good."

He seethes at the honorific, but I'm right. His right shoulder is dripping blood and one of the lens in his glasses are cracked. He's standing a little stiffly, so I'm guessing cracked ribs. Hang on, is that my T-shirt wrapped around his injured shoulder?! Explains why I'm topless.

"I liked that T-shirt, hell-spawn. Why don't you give it back so you can go bleed out in a ditch somewhere," I grin. The replying fist would probably have cracked my eye-socket if I hadn't twisted to the side; ended up with a fractured humerus though. Wasn't funny. Just very painful; I scream, but I'm muffled by a hand over my mouth.

"You left!" Kabuto hissed. "You betrayed Orochimaru-sama when he gave you a place in this world!"

I lunge forward and bite down. The angle was awkward and Kabuto's fast, but blood gushed in my mouth and bone splintered under my teeth. A high-pitched keening sound from Kabuto and he grabs me by the throat. I let go, spitting out the lump of flesh, blood running down my chin and he's left staring at the mangled remains of his forefinger. No hand-signs for him anytime soon.

His single hand is too small for a proper chokehold around my neck, so I can gasp out my next words. "Was n'ver loyal...want'd a place where I w'sn't tortured an'...'bused regu'ly, th'nks."

We meet each other's gaze and I see the manic hysteria in his eyes. "How about I take you back," he rasps. "Strap you down helpless and we have a nice, looong session." With his bloody stub of a digit he traces my vivisection Y scar, leaving a carmine line down my belly and with the broken shards of bone poking my skin as he goes. "You, me, a tray of scalpels, chakra suppressants, no anaesthetic and all the time in the world. You will tell me everything because I'm going to drag it out of your screaming-raw vocal chords! Sound good?"

I want to throw up. Because he means it and Orochimaru would probably let him; after he's done with me himself. I don't want to go back. I swallow the bile back down. He's gone. Over the edge. First-Class ticket for the Coo-coo train to Crazytown, Beyond the Edges of Reason, have a nice journey, enjoy the complimentary muffins. Where are the ANBU? Did he take them out too? Is it taking too long to raise the alarm and assemble and extraction team? Will they get here in time? Maybe I can get him mad enough to kill me now because that's preferable to ending up a bloody slab of meat on a vivisection table.

"Not rea'y into...bondage," I slur.

His grip on my throat tightens, his nails digging in painfully.

Hound and Bear streaked through the forest, merely dark blurs in their speed as Bear honed in on a faint pulse of chakra with his sensor abilities.

Hound cursed under his breath. The slimy little rat had slipped his tails; they had underestimated the medic's adoptive son. The four-man squad had been gassed and had had their throats slit before he had gone after Kaguya. The special compound he treated his cloth mask with had saved him from the worst of the gas from the ambush, but he had had to take it slowly to support Bear, who had no such protection. By the time they got to the wall, Kabuto had already got over. But not without a severe shoulder injury and hopefully some broken bones according to the wall patrol. They would have done more but the traitor had held the unconscious Kaguya kid hostage; they went that way, but that's no guarantee, they said.

It wasn't. There were back-tracks and false trails all over, but once the gas wore off, Bear could track the two chakra signatures. Every so often he had to stop and get his bearings, because one was being actively suppressed and the other was muffled, most likely with seals.

As they got closer, Hound could smell blood. Not good.

Both ANBU stopped on a high tree branch but before they could settle, they were hailed.

"You can come on down now; hands apart and where I can see them or I'll rip his neck open. Without killing him."

The small surge of visceral horror from the first half of the threat was pushed aside easily. The second half made it surge up again stronger than before. Hound had assassinated children before, but always quick and painless as possible. He didn't think he could stand seeing Kimimaro covered in blood and writhing in agony. Oh, and he'd fail the mission if something happened. He'd find a way to get all three of them out of this. He had to.

With a quick pat on Bear's arm, they dropped down.

His Sharingan snaps to Kimimaro, taking in every injury. Left side of face covered in dried blood, sealing the eye shut, from a superficial gash, but that was surrounded by more worrying bruising. Judging from the blackish bruising and slightly off angle on one of the arms tied above him, fractured humerus. Missing T-shirt, exposing a smattering of small scrapes and a thick line of blood, that was drawn of all things, down the scar-line on his stomach. Red marks in the shape of fingers across the throat. Slight muscle tremors and wide, shiny and glazed eyes indicative of an adrenaline high. The coating of congealed blood over the lips and chin was not good; coughing blood meant potential internal injury.

Speaking of mouth and blood, he understood Yakushi's threat. He had a single finger crooked into the inside of Kimimaro's cheek like a mock fish-hook, away from the teeth.

The ANBU squad had had their throats cut with a chakra scalpel. That didn't need handsigns.

All he had to do was activate a chakra scalpel around his finger and pull down in one quick motion. Facial muscles, windpipe and major blood vessels all severed.

Bad. Very bad.

Wait! Yakushi was missing a finger on his other hand. That would make hand-signs impossible. Even if he was advanced enough to do them with one hand; one hand was useless in that aspect and the other was occupied with the hostage. Kabuto had barely any ninjutsu and even fewer genjutsu accessible to him now. That evened the playing field somewhat. Should it come down to taijutsu, well, he and Bear had the upper hand; being physically fine as well as being able to coordinate attacks and tag-team. They had to get the two kids away from each other.

But the traitor held all the best cards for the moment.

"ANBU, huh? I should have known," Kabuto said with a slight tremor to his voice. No doubt from the pain starting to make itself known in full force. "Forget about saving him; even if I have to kill Kimimaro-senpai, Orochimaru-sama can still use his body. You'd be doing him a favour; I know he'd rather die here than go back to Orochimaru-sama. But then you'll have failed, won't you?"

Fortunately, the ANBU mask hid the action of Hound's eyes flicking over to Kimimaro. Kabuto couldn't see it because he was concentrating on them, but Kimimaro's eyes were focused on him, Hound, before deliberately blinking twice. They didn't know any shared code, so it must be just to get his attention. Was he going to make a move?

There was a spray of red as a bone spike no thicker than a senbon erupted from the corner of Kimimaro's jaw. It pierced through Kabuto's palm in another gush of blood as the momentum tore his hand away from the mouth before he could summon his chakra scalpel. However, he was quick enough at grabbing a kunai from his weapons pouch with the other hand, capable of wielding one despite the missing finger. Bear's Mokuton was already twining up his ankles, but neither that nor Hound was going to get there in time.

'Ssschlunk!'

The skin around Kimimaro's lower arm bulged and tore as a larger bone spike grew down, spearing Kabuto through his collarbone before subtracting. His subclavian artery broken and haemorrhaging blood, he dropped the kunai mid-swing in favour of pressing his hand to the wound. Then Hound was upon him, and roots were winding around his waist.

While his senpai restrained and stabilized the traitor, Bear cut Kimimaro's ropes, careful to catch him as he slumped forward and lower him to the ground gently. The bones had retracted, though the holes where they had torn through were still spilling blood. The jaw was quickly taped up with gauze and a salve to encourage coagulation and tissue growth, but he wasn't skilled enough to fix the muscles in the arm properly with what iryojutsu he had. He wrapped that up tight with gauze and more salve, before moving to the other arm to reset and splint the fractured humerus with a bar of wood he grew himself then and there.

Kimimaro was silent throughout it all; save for a single whimper and the death grip he had on the edge of his flak vest. The darker, ROOT part of Bear acknowledged and respected that this boy was dedicated enough to rip open his own flesh. Or desperate enough, thought the more emotional part of him.

Just as Bear pulled off the chakra-suppressing tags, Hound-senpai was there. Kabuto was over to the side, face down on the grass, with his nin-dogs standing guard.

"Bear, did you find the internal bleeding?" Came the clipped query. A head shake in the negative. Hound knelt down. Seeing that Kimimaro's breathing was shaky and his eyes were half-lidded from exhaustion, both as he crashed from the adrenaline high, he grabbed his chin so that he was in his line of vision.

"You're spitting blood. Where else where you hit?"

A brief frown flitted across the boy's tired features. "Not mine," he murmured. "Bit his finger off."

Both ANBU breathed a sigh of relief and quiet respect. Bear unsealed his canteen. "You want to sit up and rinse your mouth out? It shouldn't aggravate your jaw too much."

A nod, so Bear pulled Kimimaro's head up into his lap and undid the lid, raising it to his lips for him to take a mouthful before leaning him to the side to spit out the tainted water. He froze as he felt the Kaguya stretch out some chakra to probe his network. It retreated after a quick brush. That was a basic recognition technique, but why...?

"The Snake-bastard got you too," was the quiet mumble. Both ANBU tensed.

"Coils are all choppy; patched on with surgery. Can tell up close." Kimimaro leaned his head back to stare up at Bear's masked face with a lopsided grin. "S'okay, won't tell anybody you got Mokuton."

"Orochimaru thinks I died a long time ago," Bear admitted. Kimimaro weakly raised the hand of his fractured arm to clumsily pat his arm that was still outstretched and holding the canteen. "I like you. Don't worry; I'll protect you."

"We'll head back now," Hound broke in, rising to his feet. "Bear, you can carry him, since you two seem to have bonded. My dogs and I will take the traitor."

"Jerk," Kimimaro muttered as Bear lifted him onto his back. "Nice jerk, though."

"Hey kid, how're the arms?" Inoichi smiled as he walked into my hospital room.

"Painful, Inoichi-sama," I grimace as he pulls up a chair to my bedside.

"Hokage-sama sends his apologies for not being here," he continued. "but his grandson was born this morning."

"Give him my congratulations please, Inoichi-sama." So, Konohamaru was just born? That would make Naruto, wherever he is, about four years old. Nearly five, since he was born in October. That means I'm four years older than him and there's two and a half years, give or take a few months, until the Uchiha Massacre. At least that gives me a frame of reference in regards to timeline.

"Of course. Now, I hear you've had a busy few weeks. How did the visit with Mikoto Uchiha and her son go?"

Oh, obviously Village-Uchiha relations are frosty at this point. Although he must have been told about the visit by Bear and Hound, at least he wants my viewpoint. I tell him that both Uchiha were perfectly cordial, neither had activated their Sharingan and they seemed genuinely interested in just having a conversation. Then the topic was gradually changed over to Juugo's new job and a discussion on the theory of nature chakra. Inoichi seems to have read up on chakra theory, as he was able to contribute to the discussion this time.

When that petered out, I was asked about this morning's events. So, I related what had happened, what injuries I'd received and when and how my conversation with Kabuto had played out.

"That was very brave of you," Inoichi commented when I'd finished. "You knew that your skin would tear, but you did it anyway."

I let out a mirthless bark of laughter. "It's not bravery. It's working through it until I get too desperate. An opening was needed and I provided one."

"But you didn't have to goad on Yakushi like that, it wouldn't have got the ANBU there any faster. Why?"

"I wanted him to kill me."

"I wanted him to kill me."

The words sent Inoichi's heart sinking into his stomach. Had he missed suicidal tendencies all along?

"I didn't wanna go back." The kid explained dully, his fingers digging into the bedsheet. "He thought he had my loyalty before and you know what he did to me. Now I'm a traitor, imagine what he'd do to me now. I didn't know if anyone would get there in time, I tried to stall but then he really lost it. He was hurt and he didn't have any equipment and I'm used to those sorts of injuries, so I had nothing left to lose. And if I died there and then, at least it would have been quick and in the sun, rather than underground in silence."

So, it was incident only thoughts, not a long-term state of mind. That was a relief. But... "Quite a few people would miss you, you know?" Anko enjoys your wit, as do I at times. Might Gai likes having a student, Hokage-sama is fond of your discussions on seals and chakra theory and Mao Inuzuka...well, I'm not entirely sure if I have the term right, but I'm pretty sure he considers you pack adjacent; a close friend, anyway. And Juugo of course, he'd be devastated."

It was a nice attempt at comforting me, but it backfired. My shoulders start shaking as I hold back my tears.

"Fake," I blurt out. "None of them really care. Anko, Gai, Hokage-sama; I'm just something to brighten up their lives. I only know Mao because he got curious about my fighting and Juugo? I manipulated him. I played him like a puppet...'cos I wanted petty revenge against Orochimaru.

He's been trying to cheer me up lately, y'know? Every time he does something nice for me, I hate myself more because. It's. Not. Real. Even now, I don't know if this is real emotion I feel towards him or if it's just...responsibility?! He cares about me so much and I don't know if I feel that way back!

I..I jus'...I don't want to do everything myself. I don' wanna be the mature one, I wanna start over...be a kid!"

Oh kami, I'm screaming like a child having a tantrum and I can feel Inoichi's pupil-less eyes on me. I must look a right mess with my eyes screwed shut, tears streaming down my cheeks and sweating through my bandages. Shinobi aren't supposed to cry. He's probably judging me right now.

No. No, I refuse! I'll cry if I bloody shitting damn well want. I'm human, only human, and I'm sick and tired of having to do everything myself!

Inoichi was nearly caught off-guard as Kimimaro froze, then erupted into unsuppressed, hiccupping sobs that shook his whole frame. For a split second, his paternal instincts overlaid an image of his precious little girl on the scene before him and before his professional side could reassert itself, he shifted forward and wrapped his arms around the lonely, shaking form of the child in front of him. Because this was a child. A child who had stained his hands with murder and had scalpels stained with his own blood by the time he was Ino's age. Keeping secrets and hiding his emotions behind a mask all this time. The majority of prodigies had positive, stable adult influences to cling to or take cues from, but this kid had no one. It was thanks to only his Kekkai Genkai that he hadn't been turned into a broken, demented weapon already.

He felt Kimimaro's chakra brush against his, blindly searching. He responded back, projecting as many emotions of safe as he could. He felt the knot of something snap inside the boy and all the subtle tenseness he hadn't even noticed, but now seemed obvious, drain away. He traced circles on his back as fingers dug into the front of his black coat.

After a few minutes had passed, he gently eased away his grip, only to find that Kimimaro had fallen asleep against his chest. A mix of ridding himself of all that emotional weight and the gradual effect of the mild sedative provided by the hospital, no doubt.

After lowering him back into bed and rearranging the covers, he shucked off his now damp and grubby coat, folding it over his arm.

He ran his hand through his hair as he walked down the stairs and into the lobby, where a crowd of people he knew by file, if not by sight, waited.

"He's sleeping at the minute, but you can head up if you want," he shrugged. "Might do him some good to wake up to a friendly face." The small crowd filed up the stairs, leaving Inoichi free to duck into a side room and bow; "Hokage-sama."

"I'm glad I caught you on my way back from the maternity ward, Inoichi. Let's walk back to the Tower, where you can give me your report."

"Hai, Hokage-sama. We may have to change our approach and I wish to go over it with you."

For all you Americans, a sofa is a couch. I prefer the word sofa; it sounds softer and more cuddly than 'couch'.

So, yeah. Not really depression or lack of emotion, but an emotional disconnection. Still getting used to these being actual real people and the burden that changing the timeline is basically manipulation. Because if I knew that all my friends were only my friends because I manipulated them, I wouldn't be able to get much sleep at night.

Also, we get a timeline now. I have altered the ages from canon a bit. Kimimaro is four years older than Naruto instead of two. Because, really? Kimimaro in the manga/anime did not look fifteen. And Kabuto is six years older than Naruto instead of eight. So at the moment in this story, Kabuto is just about twelve; just before/after the Genin exam.

Next Time:(One long one and several shorts)

I'm Surrounded...

Yep, this is just as boring as I remember. Kami, this book is basic. I wonder if I'd get in trouble for doing a flipbook animation on the corners...

Laundry

No. Just...no.

Relative

"This makes disownment number two-hundred-and-sixty-seven."

Guest

"With all due respect, shut up and eat up."

Again, comment on what you think will happen.