Chapter Five

May 8, 2017.

8:30 AM.

My eyes were wide open, I was fully awake. I was laying on my back looking at the ceiling thinking about what happened before I slept. My thoughts were only focused on Jungkook's touch. A touch I really don't know, but, feels like it would be a magical one. What made me so sure of that, I don't know. I looked over the nightstand to see my phone buzzing with emails notifications. Being a freelance writer was crazy in its schedule. I took the phone with my left hand and opened the latest email. It was from my boss telling me that he liked the new article and informing me about a new one that its deadline in two weeks.

I took a deep breath, I felt little pressure was lifted out my chest. I feel more relaxed when I have enough time to write, yet I wasn't fully relaxed. I opened another app and searched for some songs to calm myself. I usually go for Sam Smith or any other artist with a smooth voice. I opened my favorite list of songs, scrolling down searching for the right song, but nothing clicked with my weird confused mood. I suddenly remember the video Lara was watching a couple of days ago. "It was Jungkook!" I thought my voice was inside my head but apparently, I said it out loud.

I opened another app to search for the video. I stopped before typing anything into the search bar. "What did she say…?" I closed my eyes tightly trying to remember if Lara said the name of the song. "Shit." she didn't say anything about the song, she just talked about how good Jungkook was.

"He was wearing a mask I think," I said to myself and typed a long-descriptive sentence explaining what was happening in the video without the actual name of the song, that I have zero clues what it could be. I hit the search icon, within seconds tens of videos were on the screen. The first one was very similar to what I saw Lara was watching. The video's title wasn't really helping. I chose the first one and paused it to read the description and some of the comments hoping anyone would have written anything useful.

"Wow, his voice must be so good to have all that amazed people," I said and smirked.

I scrolled up again and hit play. I put the phone on my stomach, I know the video has a masked person singing and nothing more. I reached for my black earphones, I put them on blocking the sound of the moving waves of the sea that was kind of loud in my room.

The music started slowly. "Romantic song…hmm." I looked at the screen one more time before closing my eyes. There was a small title with the name of the song written in English. "If you…What?" I felt a bit confused, Lara told me that they rarely sing a full English song.

I moved my thumb quickly exiting from the app to go to another one searching for the song's lyrics. I discovered that it was a Korean song with like some English words and the rest in Hangul. I searched for the translated version. I was scrolling the screen slowly; reading each word carefully. "It's beautiful…" I thought to myself.

I felt my heart softened by the great lyrics and went back to the video to finally hear his voice. I closed my eyes and put the phone on my stomach again. The music started. Slowly. Bar chimes sound. The angelic soft voice began to sing.

She is leaving, and I can't do anything

I opened my eyes so wide it slightly hurts. "Oh My God!" I said shockingly. Is that really him. This voice matches perfectly the image in my head or my heart. I don't know where exactly.

Love is leaving…like a fool I'm blankly standing here

"Oh…" I said and put both my hands above my chest.

I'm looking at her, getting further away

She becomes a small dot and then disappears

"Shit!" I looked at the ceiling completely freaking out by him.

Will this go away after time passes?

I remember the old times. I remember you

"How on earth someone could sound that good?" I couldn't stop myself from talking out loud.

If you… If you… If it's not too late, can't we get back together?

"It's not too late!"

If you… If you… If you're struggling like I am… Can't we make things a little easier

"I'm struggling too, I swear!" I felt my heart bouncing as if I just finished a marathon.

I should have treated you better when I had you

"Better than this! Oh god" I felt my whole body getting hotter by his soothing voice.

The song ended. As well as my sanity. I played the song again this time with my eyes closed and falling more in love with his voice.

My alarm made a cranky noise. The music was already loud in my ears, yet this old bastard was louder. I stopped the music and looked at the alarm on the nightstand. It was 10:30 AM. "Two hours passed already!" I didn't notice how fast time passed. I was busy that time listening to every song BTS did till this moment.

I couldn't believe how talented they are. I see Lara's point of loving Taehyung's voice in particular; very deep. I enjoyed listening to each one's voice but Jungkook was a whole other story. A voice that moves my heart and other parts of me. I stopped the noise coming from the alarm and took off the earphones. I had to get up and start my day, yet my mind was arguing me to stay in the bed all day and just listen to Jungkook.

I got up heading to the bathroom to take a shower; for some reason, I don't want to admit. "Taking many showers helps my skin to be more hydrated and smoother, I'm doing my body a favor," I said to myself in defending tone as if I'm trying to prove to myself that masturbating to Jungkook's voice and pictures is a normal thing to do.

[Well, it's not that weird right?] I head down the stairs after wearing a big sized black t-shirt with Batman yellow logo on and denim roll-up shorts, my hair was in a high ponytail that shows my waves perfectly. I went out to the garden to find Lara sitting alone near the table drinking coffee. "Good morning," I said and pulled a chair to sit.

"Good morning," Lara said and took a sip of her coffee.

I looked over the table it wasn't like its usual state; empty and had nothing on it but Lara's coffee and a bowl of fruits. "Where is our breakfast?"

"There isn't one."

"Why? Where is grandma?"

"She left you a paper on the kitchen table telling you that she will be at Melina's house," Lara said without looking at me.

"Why didn't she call?"

"She did actually but you didn't answer and then she called me because she was worried."

"Worried?" I said and took an apple to eat.

"She said she heard you talking around eight in the morning and she assumed you were awake." I shook my head without saying anything. Lara finally looked at me and smiled. "Which song did you like more?"

"What?" I said in the middle of chewing.

"I got up at 9:30 and heard you singing." I couldn't continue chewing. "You were singing really loud, and your voice was actually the reason I got up because you know your voice isn't that good, you kept singing for like ten minutes and then suddenly stopped," she stopped and took more sip then continued. "I went to your door to knock but what I heard stopped me," she said and narrowed her eyes. She kept looking into my eyes in a suspicious look. "I heard you saying something then moaned loud," Lara finally said and burst into laughter.

I coughed hard and felt like I was chocking. Lara got up and stood behind me and hit my back couple of times without breaking her laughter. "Don't die!" Lara said and her tears coming out of her eyes from her loud laughter.

I finally managed to control my breath. "You heard me!"

"I think the neighbors heard you," Lara said and wiped the joy tears.

"Shit!" I said and covered my face with my hands in an embarrassment.

"Well, it's good that your 21st birthday is in two days, so you can legally fuck whoever you want," Lara said and burst into another round of laughter. "I believe from your singing attempt earlier, you were imagining Jungkook, Am I right?" she said in her detective's voice breaking her laughter.

"No," I said and avoided her eyes.

"Yes," Lara said and laughed. "I never thought you would get attached to him that quick."

"It's your fault! If you didn't tell me about them, I wouldn't have been doing that!"

"I never told you to masturbate while imagining one of them, I understand how sexy they are, like for me Taehyung is so fucking handsome, but I do have a sex life so I'm not that desperate," Lara said calmly.

"I'm not desperate!"

"You are," she paused and looked right into my eyes. "Very desperate," she said and smirked.

"I'm not," I said and looked away, eating the rest of my apple. I am indeed very desperate. Desperate for one touch. Jungkook's touch.