A Shot of "Tuba"

"You little brats! Im going to make you into Adobo if I ever catch one of youuu!" threatened an old, sturdily built man with average height holding a whip and cracking it near the gate of his house after several elementary school pranksters rang his doorbell several times to his annoyance.

"These kids need a real ass-whoopin! What in the hell are their parents even doing these days?!" angrily muttered the old man as he slowly shuffled back into his small, unpainted abode. His house, sporting a decent poncho directly in front with a spacious area as its front and side lawn where he keeps a large, pure black dog with yellow eyes in a makeshift kennel and an elegant rooster with a long and peculiar crown and tail in a beautifully engraved perch. A small house directly attached to the 5 meter tall firewall separating the old man's lot with the awfully huge mahogany tree in a vacant lot next to it. Attached to the wall is a small pig pen where a large boar is happily eating away at some dried tall grass. Its red gates are significantly tall also, with only a doorbell that seemingly seems so modern in spite of such a rustic looking home. Only the gates seem painted, the rest sport a raw cement gray color that seems to depict an aura of a house forgotten by time. not to mention a very rusty looking roof when viewed in front. It is no doubt that most people would acquaint this house with a grumpy old man. and in this case, the stereotype fits perfectly.

[Diing Dong Diing Dong]

"WHHHYYY YOUU LITTTLEEE SHIITTTTSSS!!!"

Roared the old man from inside the house, brandishing the same whip whilst sprinting to the gates. However, by the time he had opened it; with the whip raised in the other hand ready to smack the living daylights out of whoever poor kid it cracks on, an old man with a cap appeared.

"WHOAAA! WAIT! WAIT! WHAT THE--" shouted the old man while raising the orange ketchup container he was carrying, instinctly sheilding himself from the whip.

"Eh? Who are you?!"

"Whaa-- lose that whip first young man!"

"Oh, sorry... wait, whaat?! Young?"

"Ahahaha sorry, I expected you to be older when I first came here. Im looking for an older man named Joaquin. If my memory serves me right, he lived here a while back."

"Ah. That's my father, he died almost seven years ago."

A sense of uneasiness flushed over the older man's face.

"I see.... Im sorry your loss. You must be.. uhh... uhh.. Jose? Right?"

"Yes my father used to call me that. but my record name is Joseph."

"Oh I see.... this is very bad... how can... hmm no matter. Im sorry for bothering you Joseph, I will be going now. I intended to ask your father for a favor but seeing that he is gone now I'm afraid my trip is wasted..." sighed the older man as he prepares to leave.

"Wait old man! Is that 'Tuba'?" said Joseph while pointing at the orange container.

"Oh yes it is..."

"Why don't you come inside first so we can talk, eh? A friend of my father is a friend of mine."

All of the sudden, the man's face lit up as if the sadness and dejection he has shown was non-existent.

"Hmm what a devious old man." thought Joseph upon realizing the old man's true intentions.

"By the way, I'm Euguio. You can call me Tatag Gio or Mang Gio if you want."

"Uhuh, call me Jose too if it suits you."

Jose grabbed a table from the side of his house in one hand and positioned it in front while his other hand reached for two monoblock chairs.

"Please sit. I'll grab some Pulutan (snacks that is often paired with alcoholic drinks) and glasses inside." said Jose to which Tatay Gio obliged.

Returning from the house carrying the said stuffs, Jose sat on the opposite side of Tatay Gio, who was opening the plastic ketchup container. The latter poured a small portion of Tuba to Jose's glass, to which the former gulped in one go.

"Aaahhh that hits the spot! Nothing beats mountain wine hahaha!" chuckled a merry Jose.

"So, what is it that you need from my father?"

"Oh.. well it is a very serious matter. Did you know what his profession before is?" answered Tatay Gio with a glass of Tuba in his hands.

"Well I knew that he was a practicing 'Albularyo' (Healer that uses mystical arts, mostly called to heal against evil spirits and elementals from mounds called Engkanto or Nuno)"

"Uhuh. Well he was more than that for a time. When he was younger he was known all over the province as a specialist for combating against the dark forces."

"You make it sound like a glorious profession." muttered Jose

"Huh? What is it you say?"

"Oh nothing... please continue."

"As I have said I would have asked him to kill a Tiktik that has been terrorizing a pregnant friend of mine."

"Hahaha Tiktiks and whatnots don't exist anymore, Tay (a shortened version of Tatay)"

"Be it as it may, my friend was already killed by it and his wife is now in despair that I fear for her pregnancy."

Jose's face suddenly turned sullen after hearing Tatay Gio as he put down his Tuba glass.

"How long is she conceiving?"

"It seems that she have been conceiving for almost four months now."

"Hmm hmm well if she can safely survive until her sixth month she will probably be left alone by the Tiktik. At least that is what I heard."

"Well I can't possibly defend her till then, and the police won't believe her story. And the townspeople also had become prejudiced against her because she is not a native there."

"You can put her under a witness protection program you know."

"There is no such thing in our small town and she has no one here in the city too."

"That's good. I would rather not have a Tiktik roaming in a densely populated area." remarked Jose indifferently. "Well, it seems that I can't help you Tatay. Thank you for the Tuba. It is quite rare to taste it here in the city." he added coldly.

"Wait! Wait! You have a 'Buntot Pagi' (literaly translates to Stingray's Tail, a common monster slaying weapon in the Philippines) right? And by the looks of it you do know how to handle it. Please! Help us! We are a very remote area and no one will listen to the poor Neneng (a term of endearment to younger women)." pleaded Tatay Gio as he unconciously reached out to Jose's hand.

"I don't know what you are talking about Tay." remarked Jose as he took Tatay Gio's hand off his own. "And even if I do, I would rather not delve in another person's business as it might endanger my own. I may not look like it, but I have just recently turned 40 and would rather age as old as you in my house, enjoying my pension benefits." he added.

"If that's true then all the more reason to doubt you Jose!" declares Tatay Gio loudly as he grabbed the hand Jose used to pull his own hand away and laid it front side up, revealing a rough, thoroughly calloused hand. "You are a practitioner of monster slaying aren't you? You can't lie to me young man! Im older than your father if he is still alive! I'm right am I?! You are a specialist! A 'Mang' (roughly translates to Mister or Old Man, but in this story's context it refers to a collective group of specialized people)!" Gio fiercely declared. At the same time, a flock of birds noisily flew away from their perch on the branches of the giant mahogany tree of the vacant lot next door.

Jose quickly pulled his right hand away looking uneasy, as he eyes the towering mahogany tree.

"Even if that's true, I would still be of no use. I have already quit a long time ago and I am out of shape. A Tiktik is a tricky enemy and your best bet is to survive until the sixth month of her pregnancy. You can line all the openings of their house with salt and plug all possible holes with salt mixed cement. Fighting that monster head on is suicide - and as such, I value my life." answered Jose with chilling indifference.

"Young man, if this monster succeeds, he will terrorize other pregnant mothers nearby and even come here in the city. Think about it! Only you stands in between happy families and that spawn of darkness!" Gio chided even further, indifferent to Jose's indifference.

Jose gets up from his seat and turns around to enter his house on which he indirectly signals Gio to leave. However, as he reaches the veranda he turns around to see Tatay Gio still sitting on the chair looking at him with a stubborn stare as if he was glued on that plastic chair, unable to move until he gets the help he wanted.

"Haaah.... You really are a devious old man." Jose sighed as he faces Tatay Gio.

"I'll help. On the condition that I want 5,000 pesos upfront when I reach your barrio and 10,000 after I finish the job."

Tatay Gio winced at Jose's words and was struck dumb for a moment.

"A-alright.... you will get it. As long as you get it done as soon as possible." he finally stammered.

"I'll be there in two days. Meanwhile, follow my instructions and survive until the day I come. Be vigilant when night falls. Are you sure the mother will be safe tonight?"

"Yes, she is currently staying at Attorney Tasio's house. They have body guards there but since the Attorney will be leaving tommorow for a case on the next province, she will be staying with me tommorow and the next day. I'll draw you a map to my house from the 7-Eleven stop at our town."

"No need. If she will be staying at your house by the time I arrive, I will know where to find your house."

"Really? How so?"

"The monster will only be roaming around your area tommorow if you follow my instructions earlier. And if it does, I will be able to track it down with this." said Jose as he points to a vial of liquid hanging on a window grill.

"What is it?"

"Its 'Lana' (a medicinal coconut oil used by healers during various rituals), an oil that boils when it is near a creature of evil. With this we will be able to pinpoint it's location from us during the hunt."

After a few more instructions from Jose, Gio hurried back to catch his trip back to the barrio leaving a troubled Jose alone on his thoughts still sitting on the chair where he drank the Tuba.

"What do you think Koy? You think we still got it?" asked Jose to his large dog Kokoy which lay beside him to which the dog answered with a low growl.

"Haha I'll buy you three treats after this one. You'll see! After I score this gig, you will be a fat pup once again!"

[grrrrrr rowf! grrrr *whine*]

"Hahaha don't worry! No matter how much you eat, you wont be abke to reach Biboy's level of fatness!" refering to his pig to which Biboy let off a large snort. Afterwards, his rooster flew from it's perch to the table as it looked at Jose with seemingly excited eyes. "I guess you want some exercise too huh?" Jose replied.

"Well guys, i will be in your care again this time." Jose remarked as he stood from his chair. As he turned to leave, he made a quick glance at the towering tree beside his house. The tree rustled as a warm wind waned at Jose's direction as if to blow him a good luck kiss.

At this, Jose smirked playfully.

"This is just for the money you know..." Jose replied to a seemingly unseen person as the winds blew happily - or rather, mockingly.