Chapter 4

I'd be taking a day off today.

With a tap of his hand the message was soon delivered to the other. He sighed, running his fingers down his hair. The phone vibrated on his hand making him look at it.

Oh. Alright, just be here tomorrow.

Yoongi then closed his phone again and went out of the house with his coat on. He walked through the cold morning of the outskirts of Seoul, passing by a person or more. The rising sun flash on his face, heating up himself. After some time, Yoongi arrived on his destination. Yards of the green field and rows of tombs that lay against it. The cemetery. He stride down the gravel path and stopped on a certain tomb.

Park Jimin

October 13, 1995 - January 8, 2022

Your presence will forever be missed.

He sat down on the green grass, looking at the cold stone in front of him.

"Hello Chim" Yoongi greeted, feeling the tears forming in his eyes.

"Its been so long since I've visited you. I'm sorry, I wasn't able to bring you your favorite flower." He chuckled painfully, tears already streaming from the pool that he made. "Here's a story. Yesterday night, I-I dreamt of something. I killed myself Jimin, I killed myself in hopes to stop the voices. I saw my mother she-she told me I am a mistake. I saw myself, he persuaded me to kill myself. Am-am I really a mistake Jimin-ah? Am I really the reason why everyone I love leaves me? Do I not really deserve to live? Shoul-Should I just really kill myself ??" He exclaimed to no one, hoping that Jimin would magically appear in front of him and just tell him its okay. He chuckled, pain audible from the way the laugh made out of his mouth. "of course! You wouldn't answer! How stupid of me right?" He laughed again like a drunk man. The combination of his sob and the sarcastic laugh creating a sad song. "Taehyung...He visited me, he asked me 'why?.' But I could never answer! Because I am a coward! I couldn't tell him of how I am the reason of why we fell. Its painful you know? Its painful to see him crying in front of me, blaming himself even though I am the real reason behind all of this. I just asked him to leave, to- leave me alone, like I always do. And he was right, I am a coward, a jerk! He told me that I shouldn't hold unto my mistakes forever. But, I can't seem to let go of them. I just...can't" He cried. Weeping of how much of a trash he is. Weeping of how he dissapointed his friends...His brothers. After a while, he wiped the tears from his eyes and calmed his breathing making it look like he didn't cried at all. He cracked a smile again. "I'm sorry about ranting my life into you. I should go now Chim. Goodbye..." He walked again in the gravel path, following the order of which he went earlier and exited the cemetery. He walked through the street, being pas through by bunch of people. After some time, he stopped in front of a certain cafe. He smiled, looking at the glass that separated the outside world and the warmth wonders of the cafe. It has been a while. He thought, and with that he took steps until he was already holding the metal handle. With a push, he was already in. The mixed scent of coffee and baked goods filling his nostrils making him sigh in content. The warm air, heating up his body.

"Goodmorning sir, welcome to Princess Jin Cafe. What would you- Yoongi?" The owner asked as he encountered the smaller guy. Yoongi smiled at the older.

"hyung..." With that, he was enclosed into a tight hug. Both men heaved out a sigh, a sigh of relief that both are living a healthy life and a sigh that meant they missed each other. They still remember the years they shared with the other five. Laughing and mocking around the cafe. Helping the older serve the food and reach his dreams to make his cafe popular.

They still remember how the seven of them play around in the kitchen, the food fights and even the small fights they had. They missed it.

"Yoongi, how-how are you?" Jin asked, still in shook at the thought of seeing his dongsaeng. The younger smiled, breaking away from the hug.

"I'm alright hyung..." But he knew he wasn't, but there's no point on asking what's real and what's not now. Because it wasn't like the past anymore. A past where no secrets were kept, a past where you can say you're not okay. Thus Jin just let the younger's words go. He knew Yoongi wouldn't say the truth even with the constant reminder of how a friend he is, a brother rather.

"oh, then why don't you take a sit right there?? The food and of course the beverage is in the house. What would you like?" To be true, Yoongi was dissapointed. He thought his hyung would see what he felt. He thought his hyung would ask for the truth and be like the Jin he knew. Maybe he really moved on. Maybe he wasn't the same Jin-hyung anymore.

But even though he still kept the act and smiled.

"Croissant and a Caramel Macchiato." Jin chuckled, as Yoongi sang the two words. The recording, is it still with him? Jin asked to himself, he wanted to ask but just stayed quiet and nodded his head.

"Well then pal, go straight right there and I'd be taking your order in few."  He took the older's words and went to the table he grew up. The table over to the back, facing the busy city of seoul. It was their table. As he sat there, he remembered the carvings and went to caress the bottom surface of the table.

He smiled as he felt the letters mold his skin. He touched a certain letter, a name rather and stopped. Park Jimin.

"Yoongi, Here's your food." Jin said, cutting him in the mid of his thoughts.

Jin, placed his food on the wooden table. Taking his sit in front of the younger. "I see, you still remember this Table..." Jin said, chuckling to himself. Yoongi joined, both remembering the days of when the fooled around the said table.

"Many things happened hyung..." Yoongi said out of nowhere. Jin stopped chuckling, right then he knew that Yoongi still was the Yoongi he knew...The Yoongi who trusted him.

"I know...Tell me Yoongi, are you really alright?" Yoongi looked up, it was the phrase he was hoping to here...And he was ready to break down. He shook his head, looking dowb. The hard wooden table meeting his gaze. Tears filled his vision.

"No..." And that was enough for Jin to hug him. That was enough for the two to know how they still didn't move on from the past and how they still trust each other despite everything.

"You miss him?" Jin asked, patting his back in terms to calm him down.

"Y-yes, very much. I miss him so much that I feel like dying everytime I wake up without him next to me. I-I miss him hyung...I miss us all." Yoongi cried. Thankfully the cafe is empty of customers as it was a weekday.  Thus without temptation, they held each other and cried their sufferings.

"Everything will be Alright, just stay strong Yoongi. Stay Strong."