Rinah was at a loss for words. On one hand, she agreed with Iris. Why was she holding herself back? And especially when she somehow passed the Big Hit auditions AND almost made the final lineup in the internal survival competition.
But on the other, she only felt constant guilt about her selfish actions. Everyday, she looked at her acceptance letter into the most competitive degree at a prestigious university that offered her full scholarship. That opportunity too felt wasted if she didn't take it. If she followed this path, then she was almost guaranteed success.
But would it guarantee her happiness?
Rinah was lost. Pulled in two directions, she accepted her fate at having not made the lineup, largely due to her own blunder for not seeking relationships with any other trainees until the end.
She had wanted to make the competition all on her own accord and effort. But this plan only backfired when she foolishly, belatedly realized that teamwork was a hidden requirement from the beginning.
Of course then, her actions to join Cindy's clique would look fake and forced. But as an only child, she was a little inept at socialization. Added onto that, she had always been an introvert. So she got used to being alone.
It was due to all these reasons that she felt grateful to Iris. They shared many similarities too. But the light and day difference between them set them apart in life. Iris had the determination and resolve to sacrifice everything for her dream.
Rinah was not as courageous. She wasn't brave enough to select the path that was least rational and unknown.
Sighing, Rinah let out all these thoughts in that deep breath. Then she looked up at Iris with a small smile.
"Yeah, I'm a bit of a wimp, aren't I?" She lightly joked with a silent giggle and creased brows.
Iris smiled bittersweetly. "No, you're not. I think you're very brave. You gave up your happinesses for another's happiness. But being too kind can hurt you."
Rinah's slight frown turned into a sad smile. "I'm glad you can think of it positively like that. I wish I had a little of your positivity and assuredness myself."
Suddenly, Iris jumped forward in her seat as an genius idea sparked in her mind. With a moderate voice brimming with held back excitement, she exclaimed, "Who says you need an entertainment company to do music? People sing, dance, do music all around the world without being signed to some company!"
Rinah furrowed her brows. "You mean...?"
"Yes, you can still do music! Didn't you have to make a YouTube channel? You even accumulated almost a hundred thousand subscribers all by yourself in such a short time! Continue to grow your channel by doing music when you can.
"Some artists have even retired from the industry, so to speak, and are YouTubers instead now. So you can still keep this avenue open for you to get back into music whenever you want."
Rinah seriously considered Iris's words. Obviously, she could use what she had already worked hard on, but that simple deduction hadn't even crossed her mind. It seemed she would need to fix her quitting mentality, for it was making her blind to all the possibilities before her.
Life had only really just begun. She was young, so she could afford to be a little reckless, to "burn her youth" away as J-HOPE would say. A quiet but clear voice rung out from the recesses of her mind. If she didn't do something, anything at all now, then Rinah had an inkling she would forever regret her 'safe, mundane' decision to get a degree and normal job.
Seeing Rinah's indecision but overall lean toward her suggestion, Iris babbled on in hopes of convincing her.
"It'll be fun! Like what you can to unwind from schoolwork! I can help you out too, just let me know what kind of content you'll be working on."
Certainly, Iris's offer was tempting. However, Rinah was a tad concerned. "But wouldn't you expose yourself and me as current and former trainees? I doubt that's good for confidentiality until you girls debut."
"Hmm. Good point. I got a little over excited there… But I'm sure we can figure something out!" The corner of her mouth curved up deviously.
In truth, Iris was actually scheming. Poor Rinah had no idea that what seemed like a critical oversight by Iris was actually all part of her master plan. Once she roped in Rinah by assisting her with videos, Iris planned to gradually push her toward becoming a trainee.
At first, Iris didn't want to hatch a plot to drag Rinah back to Big Hit. This was her life. Although Iris could offer advice as a friend, the decision ultimately should lay solely in Rinah's hands.
But after meeting with ITZY some time back and even dancing and sharing tips together in their JYP practice room, Iris had been increasingly, deeply considering debuting as a five member group. She simply had too many inspirations and ideas for a five member choreography that had more congruent and cohesive symmetry versus four.
Not only that, but after practicing with her team, while they were all skilled, Iris felt they vaguely had vocal hole as a group overall.
For starters, only Iris had the singing skills and talent to be considered a main vocalist. The rest could all sing, but none could reach the power and range often necessary for even lead vocalists. They would be just vocalists at best until they improved with more training and time. Ahreum had a slight edge in vocals abilities over the others, but her voice wasn't full or strong enough yet to be stable while dancing.
Jiyeon's speciality was rap. Even Iris who was more than decent at rap couldn't compare to the underground born-rapper. And Cindy got the hang of rapping a little too. So that area was satisfactorily covered. Besides, in a small group, only one need to be the designated main rapper.
Singing skills on the other hand, a main and lead were often necessary. Iris believed that Rinah could easily become that lead vocalist and give the group more vocal tone diversity. Iris's timbre was more alto versus Rinah was who more soprano. This would create a wonderful blend of harmonious tones.
It would be similar to how Jiyeon rapped in a somewhat lower register versus if Iris or Cindy rapped. A high and low pitch rappers of sorts, except that the cousins were more like middle pitch. But personally, Iris deemed high pitch rappers to be more uncommon in female groups than male.
Call Iris a perfectionist; however, she was truly concerned about the legacy of Big Hit and setting everyone up with the best possible success.
And unfortunately, they were on a bit of a time crunch. With only one year left until her IZ*ONE contract ended, Iris had to debut solo and then as a group one after the other with perfect timing that made sense for both "universes" to come together.
Thus, if she really wanted to seriously entertain a five member group, Rinah was her only feasible and reliable option.
Still, one year was still plenty of time. So Iris wanted to take everything step by step and adjust as needed along the way. After all, no one could predict what may happen.
I re-researched about IZ*ONE's contract, and it appears that the previous 1.5 year exclusive and 1 year non-exclusive (members can promote in original groups/companies, mainly for Japanese trainees) was debunked by the Japanese trainees, saying they'll only be in IZ*ONE for the whole 2.5 years duration.
So, I'm just going to take the liberty of a fiction writer and pretend that Iris is allowed to solo debut in 2020 :P for the sake of 2020 being Big Hit's year (if you've watched their New Year's greetings and company photoshoot).
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