An Ocean Part III

I watched in awe as I saw Warren drop his head.

"I'm sorry.." he said, his features going dark.

"I'm sorry I'm not what you wanted."

Fey let go of me and side stepped as Warren trudged his way to the front door, a loud slam signifying he was gone. Autumn looked at me and whimpered, she quickly brushed past Arid and made her way upstairs.

I wiped away the river of tears that dried on my cheek, "I hate you Fey."

My sister fell backwards from my words, her rear hitting the tile with a thud.

I felt angry, so angry I did not know where to start. How could Fey so easily bombard her own family like that?

Arid weakly grabbed my shoulder, "Okay let's calm down."

I pushed her off.

"I'm fine, why do you think I'm broken?!"

I slammed my foot down and took off in a dead sprint for my mother's room. I also slammed the door shut. I locked the door in a hurry.

There was a moment of silence before I leaned back against the door and slid to the floor.

Damnit all, every single one of them. Jordan never raped me, he was only being controlled, only being driven by what we as a family did.

My mind wondered for a second, the old me smiling and cleaning my red glasses.

"Why don't we test him?"

Fey, Arid, and Autumn looked up from their desks. It was lunch time and everyone but us left to eat elsewhere. It was seventh grade and all us were younger, more naive.

Arid licked her fingers, "Test him, like mentally? Have you seen Jordan's grade, the man is a nerd."

Autumn chewed loudly," Thaths meanth, you-" she swallowed, "You shouldn't call people nerds."

Fey rolled her eyes, "Let Olivia talk before you two start yapping."

Fey put her feet on the desk and sipped a can of soda.

I waited patiently for her to finish, then I continued, "Well this is the first marriage after papa died so we need it to work. So I purpose we like, um, try his patience."

Arid scratched her head, "Patience?"

Fey raised an eyebrow, "Are you serious Olivia, that could go bad really quickly?"

I nodded, "It could work if we try in pairs."

I slowly tapped my fingers on the desk.

Autumn threw Fey a glance, "I'm still lost here, what are we doing exactly?"

Arid sighed and thumped Autumn on the head, "Like tease him sexually and stuff."

Autumn's face went red, "Seeeeexxx..."

Fey giggled, "Jeez you are so helpless, only a virgin like you would get flustered over something so simple."

We all looked at Fey, "Wait you aren't a virgin?!" We all said in unison.

Fey looked away, "I am but-"

"HOW ARE TOU GONNA CALL ME A VIRGIN FEY?!" Autumn whined, "You are sooo meaan."

We all looked at each other. I pointed at me and then at Fey, "We will go first to show you."

Autumn smiled, "It's fine as long as you are confident this will work."

Arid shrugged, "Fine by me."

I clapped my hands together, "It's settled then!"

I smiled at the memory. Only if we knew how stupid that idea was. Enticing our older brother to do such horrible things.

Only if...

I surveyed my mother's room, the exotic and lush features making it a spectacle to look at. The tiger fur print blankets, or the engraving on the wall made it clear this is were most of the value for the house came in at.

I lost my smile and hopped on the double king sized bed. I had plenty of room to stretch out.

A picture of my mother and Stephen was placed neatly above the head rest, the black cherry wood bed set looking amazing.

I wrapped myself in the huge black fur blanket.

I needed to get my mind off of everything.

I just needed to sleep.

I stared at the ceiling until my eyes felt heavy and my body sunk in. Hopefully somehow I could take back those words I said.

But deep down I did not want to.

Jordan was a great man, yeah he should not have grabbed me like that, but was it truly his fault?

Rape was over doing it and for Fey to do that was unforgivable.

Then I felt the same nagging I always do.

I hate liars and lying, and sadly, I knew I was doing it now.

I couldn't hate my sisters nor did I want to.

I had to somehow fix things.

I need to convince Warren to come back. He just got caught up in all of this, not any ounce of it

My eyes closed.

---

I heard the slight knocking on the door, even if I refused to answer it, the taps came one after another.

"What?!"

I heard a familiar yelp come from the door, it was Autumn. What could she want?

I groggily sat up and looked around, my position jut inches from falling off.

I threw the covers off and walked over to the door.

Autumn spoke, "Olivia You can't stay in there forever, talk to me."

I bit my lip, "I have nothing to talk about, go away."

I furrowed my eyes brows and crossed my arms.

Autumn went quiet.

Then I heard it, the soft whine as she burst into tears.

"Can we please try to get back together, I hate us like this. Please Olivia, we need to stay together."

I hit the door with my foot, "We won't leave each other, we argue a lot anyways," I looked at my palms, "Eventually this will blow over."

Right?

"Arid is gone."

My heart cracked and my eyes went hazy. I quickly grabbed my glasses from the dresser and opened the door, "What do you mean Arid is gone?!"

Autumn did not look at me, "She was not in her room, so I have no clue."

I slowly put my glasses on, the realization that it was all my fault making my chest bulge. Arid was so afflicted that she left.

Shame on me.

"I'm also leaving too."

"Autumn?"

Silence.

"Autumn?!"

No answer.

I grimaced and turned my back to the door. This time it was my fault for sure. Autumn was so chill and plucky, I never imagined her to do something so outrageous.

But even if Autumn just told me, even if she just told me she was leaving. I stayed behind the door.

Sitting for almost hours on end, my mind just wondering about.

"Can I call you Autty?" I asked with a smile on my face.

Autumn puffed her cheeks out, "I love nicknames! Can I call you ummmmm.."

We looked at each other as we sat on swings, "How about Oli?"

I giggled, "You aren't very good at this."

She also laughed, "Yeah I'm not..."

I touched the door, my sisters somewhere on the other side. Warren on the other side.

My hand bawled into a fist.

What the hell am I doing?

Those are my sisters, not my enemies, not mistakes,

Not people who truly have hurt me.

I inhaled and clicked the door open. I slowly pushed it open, hoping to see Autumn.

She was gone.

I held my emotions back and swallowed the lump in my throat.

I have to fix things, and I needed to start with Fey.

But how?

My mind searched for anything, anything. Then one word popped in my head and a small weak smile took my face.

Pudding.

I hurried to my room and got dressed. I was heading toward the exit of my room before I heard Fey's door open. I stopped and listened carefully.

She went down the steps and into the bathroom.

I noticed I was holding my breath.

I'm so sorry Fey.

I sprinted down the steps and leaped onto the carpet. I ran out of the house and was met with the slow pelt of rain drops.

I stopped in my tracks.

Should I get my umbrella?

I held my hand out, small droplets hitting my open palm. I need to hurry, if I did, maybe Fey will still be here.