Your writing was rather unique... This is the first time I've seen a writing like this but it needs more improvement. -Paragraphs are sometimes big and sometimes long -The character doesn't have many descriptions including the place -The story is good but it needs more depth -The character's dialogues sometimes feel like robots -The actions don't really show many details This might be your first time writing a novel and I know what you feel right now since I have felt that but I recommend that you keep going while looking back at your mistakes, I can assure you, there will be many improvements you will gain.
Shaibu_Jumai
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