Review Detail of Light_Breeze in NICOLE (#1 Broken) 1st Draft

The writing quality is quite nice. Didn't notice many grammatical errors. However, the first two chapters seemed unnecessary. Too much information might stop readers from progressing further. The storytelling seemed like an one person dialogue. It can be done better by adding more characters interactions and history. It has a rich plot, so as long as the way of storytelling is improved I am sure it will receive the attention it deserves.