Review Detail of Eseternal in Alien death

Amateur review. Ehem!, chapter 12 and so on, my first writing without depending on google translation. HU!, but I know I have a room of improvement, just a little practice. When it comes in my imagination I got a goosebumps but If I wrote the story I can't properly wrote the exact actions. Wait more than months, I can properly tells my action. O!, wait!, I'm having a hard time if I should wrote when my mc sex to my female lead. Like junj, do something when Yana and Yuna sleeping, if you remember that Junj tell something but he can't. Yes!, something far than.., so I don't know if I should.