Review Detail of Nathan_Cole_3387 in The Gamers Guide to Freedom (The Rewrite)

I have to say that the first chapter was awful in my opinion. The MC transmigrates and we're immediately talking to Riser then suddenly getting a BJ and then boom parents that we've only known for about 10 sentences are already dead. That is awful pacing and I don't feel connected to any characters. Spend more time actually developing these characters instead of just speed running your plot. I was especially confused when the MC was sad about the parents death, because even though he got memories of them, we didn't see any of them so seeing him mourning their death was more weird than sad.