Review Detail of theanneleen in Damn! I Fall in Love With Him

GRAMMAR There’s definitely a lot of errors there that need to be corrected. I suggest you try proofreading before publishing or use Grammarly perhaps in order to help with it. No shame in using available tools to make it more convenient. But still, do proofread because this way you know it retains what you want to portray in your story. CHARACTER DESCRIPTION So for this one, there’s really need of a lot of work to do here. It’s great that there is a distinct personality between different characters, but I would really like to be able to imagine how the characters look like. So, it would have been nice that there are distinct characteristics told as the story progresses. So far, the only character description I got was for Anna who has dark brown wavy hair. WORLD-BUILDING Hmm… Not much really here too. I think it would be nice to add flavor to how the scene looks like, where they at, what she feeling, or what she sees, smells.. STORY DEVELOPMENT Very fast-paced. Although, I did think that the first chapter would revolve somewhere how the synopsis go. Because I had to read the synopsis again to make sure that this is the story I was looking into. What I meant was the synopsis talked about Mel waking up from a coma but in the first chapter it’s not talking about that, but I guess it will be in a later chapter. Although the synopsis is written great and it really captured my interest. It just sets the bar for what you will expect in the first chapter. MOBILITY I honestly like the mobility of the story. By mobility, I meant that it’s easy to read whether you’re walking around. The words used are not that heavy and easy to understand. I also like how you break it down into blocks that are easy to read and not that wordy. Hehe OVERALL This story really has potential. You just have to give more thought to character backgrounds, settings, and such. It would be nice to build their foundation rather than just going on with the plot of the story. Keep up the good work Author!