Review Detail of Oemar_danoes in Powered up by karma

Well, your storyline is superb. I loved it. The process’s kind of obscure and a touch of thriller. I liked reading it. The chapters look impressive. Suggested to everyone. Suggestions which I would like to address is, firstly, make your paragraphs a little quick. Prolix paragraphs make readers misplace their interest. Secondly, seek to write more dialogues that don't conduct everything in paragraphs. When a reader reads the dialogue with a small classification of how it is maintained, the reader can visualize individually and all dialogue. Thirdly, write explanatory paragraphs, like how the school of Dazzle looked like or how she looked like. Characterization is necessary for a novel. Try to explain the person and place to make readers visualize them. Fourthly, don't leave a space between a word and punctuation. That is all I want to answer… All the fittest for your forthcoming chapters.